know this couple, they are my frens but slightly older :

girls basically hardworking smart and of decent character
Guy is also the same...

thy were going on for a few years (not a crush as it doesnt last that long) before she dedcided to call it quits, reason given that she cant stay with him due to his low pay and its hard for them to start family

:= basically due to economics, a good couple separated.

there's nothing wrong with this guy as he is also a graduate. He never fooled arnd , he never drinked and smoked, never raised a finger against the girl nothing he did ... but why it happened? girl being practical?

she is a degree holder and him a poly grad..somehow things would have been different if they were in another country...

analysing this , it has been shown in research that ladies or girls choose their mate according to social engineering and environment. this is a problem many sg males face..
it may also be one of the factors contributing to the low birth rate

apart from that , on the married couples front divorce rates go up in times of ecnomic crisis as was seen in 2004.

the reason why some people say that this is not a good place to start a family.

*Note to mods: this is not aunt agony topic and is not meant to gain advice..
the above situation can happen to anyone , anytime.

You can't blame her.

In Singapore, you will have a hard time surviving without money.

You cannot live on love and fresh air in Singapore, you know.

Originally posted by charlize:

You can't blame her.

In Singapore, you will have a hard time surviving with money.

You cannot live on love and fresh air in Singapore, you know.

Its ppl like u who relate the problem with money = love..wake up yr stupid idea , like i said why ppl in other countries have a vibrant love life and not s'poreans?

analysde and see... why...

well not all love is first sight... most love requires the couple to know and bond for sometime before it grows on them

s'poreans have no time for this bondage dur to obvious reasons

u cant blame the girl as she may be concerned for her future children...
blame who?..blame the money - not - enuff syndrome.

Too practical already. It's the truth and the truth always hurt.

The cost of living in Singapore of so high and it's keep on rising. In Chinese there's this saying, "Huan Nan Jian Zhen Qing" I guess it's true.

Although I am in no position of criticizing those who leave their SO just because they're too poor, but I know that it's the fact that one has to swallowed.

The only solution to this is to.. work harder and smart, and money will roll into your pocket.

Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:

Too practical already. It's the truth and the truth always hurt.

The cost of living in Singapore of so high and it's keep on rising. In Chinese there's this saying, "Huan Nan Jian Zhen Qing" I guess it's true.

Although I am in no position of criticizing those who leave their SO just because they're too poor, but I know that it's the fact that one has to swallowed.

The only solution to this is to.. work harder and smart, and money will roll into your pocket.

work hard for whom?

Well…lets be frank. It all boils down to the dollar and human selfishness. Was having a discussion with my mum. And she’s telling me that she hopes I find a gf soon…though I’m just 20 and am obviously enjoying many things in life. She cautions me that she doesn’t want me to end up like my maternal and paternal uncles, both of which are in their late 40s, early 50s and pretty successful with plenty of liquid assets.I was telling her that so what if they are not married, they are well to do what. But she tells me what if in another 20years? They have no one to turn to in their old age. Doesn’t this clearly show that people get married so they have company in their old age and also that they have kids to look after them in their old age? Also, doesn’t this show how selfish we are?

Originally posted by JayJay3335:

Its ppl like u who relate the problem with money = love..wake up yr stupid idea , like i said why ppl in other countries have a vibrant love life and not s'poreans?

analysde and see... why...

well not all love is first sight... most love requires the couple to know and bond for sometime before it grows on them

s'poreans have no time for this bondage dur to obvious reasons

Ok, ok, you win.

Go get married, have 3 wonderful kids, get a small car, get a small HDB flat with a low paying job.

Make sure you save up some money for your kids tertiary education in 20 years' time and also some money enough for your retirement.

Originally posted by JayJay3335:

Its ppl like u who relate the problem with money = love..wake up yr stupid idea , like i said why ppl in other countries have a vibrant love life and not s'poreans?

analysde and see... why...

well not all love is first sight... most love requires the couple to know and bond for sometime before it grows on them

s'poreans have no time for this bondage dur to obvious reasons

Good point you brought up, I agree.

Almost every couple's decision to get hitched is hinged on Earning Capacity... but I am not saying that we can all live on love & fresh air, but rather, I am however saying that even Love has a "price tag" in Singapore...

On the other hand, if you look at the Malays, they are less money centered and they largely marry on the promise that the husband will strive to bring in more money even if his initial earning capacity is pitifully meagre... but I'm afraid even for them, Love in recent years have begun to be "priced"...

And all because of what? Relentless hikes of living costs...

Originally posted by JayJay3335:

work hard for whom?

I also like your this question; For whom do we work so hard for?

Yes, you know it, I know it too...

i have seen how an AMK neighbour couple split over $$$ issue. husband was a devoted husband and father, didnt have much ambition and easily contented. wife was frustrated with the overpriced HDB that they bought and the lack of $$$ to pay for it monthly. wife keeps harping on her past of how many suitors had chased her before and repeatedly saying how she regretted marrying to this poor chap. btw, she doesnt look appealing at all. in the end, wife called it quit and divorced him even when he pleaded with her tearfully. The main sufferers from this broken marriage are the kids and separating the father away from the kids is just too painful for him to bare. I can only wish him well and hope he didnt get any suicide ideas.

btw, money is the main bulk of most marriage quarrels and breakdown. so it is not just in SG alone. It happens everywhere.

Originally posted by HyperFocal:

I also like your this question; For whom do we work so hard for?

Yes, you know it, I know it too...

.....

so who do YOU work hard for then ? .......

Originally posted by SpecOps87:

Well...lets be frank. It all boils down to the dollar and human selfishness. Was having a discussion with my mum. And she's telling me that she hopes I find a gf soon...though I'm just 20 and am obviously enjoying many things in life. She cautions me that she doesn't want me to end up like my maternal and paternal uncles, both of which are in their late 40s, early 50s and pretty successful with plenty of liquid assets.I was telling her that so what if they are not married, they are well to do what. But she tells me what if in another 20years? They have no one to turn to in their old age. Doesn't this clearly show that people get married so they have company in their old age and also that they have kids to look after them in their old age? Also, doesn't this show how selfish we are?

You are right. Bringing up children to look after you when you're old is a selfish thought.
You should think about the life they would have when they grow up. Are they going to be happy? That's important. It's your own blood and flesh. If they suffer, you'll feel the pain too.

Originally posted by googoomuck:

You are right. Bringing up children to look after you when you're old is a selfish thought.

.. but this exactly what our infamous FAP have all these while been implying; that we should have babies so that they will care for us when we grow old...

.. this way, they don't have to waste money looking after old citizens...

... is it working so far?

.. oh no.. now they are saying we WILL all live beyond 85 and hence MUST keep on working and slaps us all with a Compulsory Annuity scheme (or scam?)...

Originally posted by HyperFocal:

.. but this exactly what our infamous FAP have all these while been implying; that we should have babies so that they will care for us when we grow old...

.. this way, they don't have to waste money looking after old citizens...

... is it working so far?

.. oh no.. now they are saying we WILL all live beyond 85 and hence MUST keep on working and slaps us all with a Compulsory Annuity scheme (or scam?)...

Now that HDB has confirmed that new flat prices are based on market rates, CPF members know where a huge chunk of their retirement savings have gone to. Isn't it a wonder why many of us cannot afford to retire?

Correct me if i'm wrong...but i've heard of some of the older generation saying that Mr. X once had this policy or like STRONG recommendation for people of the same calibre ie. ITE with ITE, POLY with POLY, JC with JC, Deg. with Deg. sorta marriage so as to ensure the offsprings are of higher calibre and not cross-bred to end up having freaks. Is that true?

Originally posted by SpecOps87:

Correct me if i'm wrong...but i've heard of some of the older generation saying that Mr. X once had this policy or like STRONG recommendation for people of the same calibre ie. ITE with ITE, POLY with POLY, JC with JC, Deg. with Deg. sorta marriage so as to ensure the offsprings are of higher calibre and not cross-bred to end up having freaks. Is that true?

Yes, Harry had the Graduate Mothers Scheme implemented. It didn't last long due to public outcry and accusations that it was eugenics at work.

GUYS,

just go n earn more money money money money money money money get it?

debates and topics related to this has been going on for years.

some pple thinks dat this is a stupid and sick society, of girls being materialistic and looking out for money and dats it, so dey just earn earn earn earn save save save so dat dey can get the girl dey like.

others looking for true love

Its very normal for gals to see money nowadays.. they dun wan to end up being with a guy who is low pay and cant afford lot of things for the gal..

but gals in this kind of thinking is definately wrong..

why ?

what gal should see is the capability of the guy or bf to earn more money in future? what to see? of course see if the guy is very hardworking,, and independant guy, and always strive for better money.. this is wat gal should see.. not to see how much the guy earn ?

I mean who knows if this guy currently only earn less than 1k and in future , he opens up some business and hes a millionaire now?

So gals, should u see the current salary or the current attitude that the guy has?

Foolish gals... those money-minded gals will not be happy in their future marrige.. cuz they only see how much the guy earn and not the attitude that the guy has.. they will regret one day.

Gals will say its for security.. but what i say is that the gals are money-minded...

Guys, find a gal who thinks love is more than money, u wont regret marrying this kind of gal.. really. in fact, if u get this kind of gal as ur gf, u will get more motivation to earn more money than u have rite now.

Choose wisely , guys, dun end up being with a gal who spend all ur hard earn money...

sometimes have u heard of true lovers separate cos of money issues?

its always money money....

and the worst happens to those still studying. poly and those ITE students will tell u the girls in their class have gone for a guy with a BMW and house than them...

the case i stated would have been successful in another country with family oriented policies..as u can see its clearly complex sociopolitics at work

how do we not know for sure that the girl is married to another man but still thinking abt the guy?

how do we not know for sure tat her parents might have influenced her and due to family pressure , caved in?

what made her go to a man she only knew recently after the first guy whom she knew for many yrs?

if she din like her first bf, why would she stay with him for years?

what makes u think she is happy by caving in to society pressure?

who is to be blamed for all these?

answer these questions and pls stop giving crap like women are hard to understand and their decision are influenced by menstrual periods balh blah

Originally posted by hiphop2009:

GUYS,

just go n earn more money money money money money money money get it?

debates and topics related to this has been going on for years.

some pple thinks dat this is a stupid and sick society, of girls being materialistic and looking out for money and dats it, so dey just earn earn earn earn save save save so dat dey can get the girl dey like.

others looking for true love

bold in red.. it is very true. truth hurts.

Originally posted by Zarks:

Its very normal for gals to see money nowadays.. they dun wan to end up being with a guy who is low pay and cant afford lot of things for the gal..

but gals in this kind of thinking is definately wrong..

why ?

what gal should see is the capability of the guy or bf to earn more money in future? what to see? of course see if the guy is very hardworking,, and independant guy, and always strive for better money.. this is wat gal should see.. not to see how much the guy earn ?

I mean who knows if this guy currently only earn less than 1k and in future , he opens up some business and hes a millionaire now?

So gals, should u see the current salary or the current attitude that the guy has?

Foolish gals... those money-minded gals will not be happy in their future marrige.. cuz they only see how much the guy earn and not the attitude that the guy has.. they will regret one day.

Gals will say its for security.. but what i say is that the gals are money-minded...

Guys, find a gal who thinks love is more than money, u wont regret marrying this kind of gal.. really. in fact, if u get this kind of gal as ur gf, u will get more motivation to earn more money than u have rite now.

Choose wisely , guys, dun end up being with a gal who spend all ur hard earn money...

bold in red.

behind every successful man, there is a woman
(and this woman is the one who truly loved him , which is why he was motivated)

behind every unsuccessful man , there is also a woman
(and this woman is the one who truly lrejected him due to sociopolitics and environment , which is why he was not motivated)

women are vunerable and emotional creatures. things which hold them together are true love, maternal instincts and others..

as for men its kind of same thing but others in the mix as well, like perserverance, ego, intelligence ect..

have u heard of cases where rich ladies marry a poor man..its true love
cos they did not see money as an issue

in cases where u see a poor girl marry a rich man, its not true love
cos they did see money as an issue..

in any case rarely hear of a man marrying a woman cos she is rich. even if he did , its a tale of deciet as the man wans her money rather than her.. a different matter all together