she cheated on me...we love(d) eachother?wot2do??
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Hi guys, reading through these forums, there seems2b soom great people offering some great advice. i'm in need of this now..i've had my heart broken and don't know whether to repair it with the person who broke it or let time be the key..... here's my story, thanks
6 months ago, i met the most amazing girl, who was just coming out of a difficult 5year relationship, which i helped her through in a gentleman-like manner. We knew we liked eachother and i helped her from being trapped and helped her mentally to be free from all the pain and hurt.
Thereafter, we both couldn't hide our feelings and over the last 2 months, have shared the most amazin time together in eachother's company. life really could not of been better, and we soon knew we were in love with one another and we had everything, not one aspect could be better.
From being in a couple of deep relationships before, i know that i am not being naive to the feelings we have, they are true, and better than anything. (were)
However, last week, her ex came ova one evening to return and pick up some things, and he tricked her, acted like everything she had ever wanted out of their relationship, want, desire, affection, and with this hold he had built up on her, tricked her into spending the night together.
I was told (by her) the morning after, and have been absolutely devastated over this xmas period, i've hardly been able to breath or do anything.
She has been the same, and could not feel any worse about what happened, and so realises what she's done and is frightened that she's lost me, and now realises what i meant to her.
My dilemma, is my battle between my head and my heart. my heart doesn't want to lose the fantastic time we shared, but my morals and dignity are also fighting to say no.
She knows that she only wants me, but is it too late now... i don't want to lose her, and trust her (Where i wouldn't usually) that she is so sorry and believe it can make her a better person for me.. but don't know what to d, i don't want to be weak, but don't want to lose her, I do love her, and I know and she does now that she loves me too and doesnÂ’t wan to be without meÂ… sheÂ’s so sorryÂ….
What should I doÂ…..? -
forgiveness is a start...
she knows...
she was tricked..
and if you want to.. and learn to trust her again.. slowly with time..
you gotta ask yourself this and answer truthfully... is she worth it?
if so, forgive her.. and move on...
be with her and heck.. don't let her be exposed to such a position again...
and.. again, i reiterate... she knows.. and would have learnt...
good luck...
last thing... if she loves you and is sensible, she'll know that she's been given a chance again.. and that you love her enough to want to start again...
mostly, talk this out with her..
hopefully, both of you will come out of this with an even stronger bond..
and again... GREAT LUCK!
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thankyou Santa Bear, i will consider your words and really give it some good thought.
I obviosuly do think she's worth it, cause my whole life, i haven't been weak and usually there would only be one route to take.. but things were getting so good.... as in, they couldn't be better, that i do think she is worth it, and i know she has morals and is truely sorry....
anymore words would be appreciated.. -
frankly, you've found each other.. and the road is long and rocky sometimes..
i'm a hopeless and hopeful romantic at heart... so i do hope that if both of you try to give it another go, that you'll find happiness together and will faithful to each other so much so that the both of you will never doubt each other again
but it requires lots of work..
it is a precious thing when one finds love....
i do hope for the best for the both of you!
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Dear Philmaixmus,Originally posted by Philmaixmus:Hi guys, reading through these forums, there seems2b soom great people offering some great advice. i'm in need of this now..i've had my heart broken and don't know whether to repair it with the person who broke it or let time be the key..... here's my story, thanks
6 months ago, i met the most amazing girl, who was just coming out of a difficult 5year relationship, which i helped her through in a gentleman-like manner. We knew we liked eachother and i helped her from being trapped and helped her mentally to be free from all the pain and hurt.
Thereafter, we both couldn't hide our feelings and over the last 2 months, have shared the most amazin time together in eachother's company. life really could not of been better, and we soon knew we were in love with one another and we had everything, not one aspect could be better.
From being in a couple of deep relationships before, i know that i am not being naive to the feelings we have, they are true, and better than anything. (were)
However, last week, her ex came ova one evening to return and pick up some things, and he tricked her, acted like everything she had ever wanted out of their relationship, want, desire, affection, and with this hold he had built up on her, tricked her into spending the night together.
I was told (by her) the morning after, and have been absolutely devastated over this xmas period, i've hardly been able to breath or do anything.
She has been the same, and could not feel any worse about what happened, and so realises what she's done and is frightened that she's lost me, and now realises what i meant to her.
My dilemma, is my battle between my head and my heart. my heart doesn't want to lose the fantastic time we shared, but my morals and dignity are also fighting to say no.
She knows that she only wants me, but is it too late now... i don't want to lose her, and trust her (Where i wouldn't usually) that she is so sorry and believe it can make her a better person for me.. but don't know what to d, i don't want to be weak, but don't want to lose her, I do love her, and I know and she does now that she loves me too and doesnÂ’t wan to be without meÂ… sheÂ’s so sorryÂ….
What should I doÂ…..?
Try to forgive her.. She don't mean to cheat on you.. At least.. she's willing to tell you the truth then hiding it from you.. THink about if she hide it from you all the while.. and jus one very fine day.. where you both are already so in love with each other, and she tells you the truth.. Wouldn't that be more hurting.. and painful..
Well.. i'm sure the moment she tells you.. she has already prepared for the worst situation.. She knows that you have lost trust in her.. But at this point of time.. she needed you most! What has happened cannot be change.. Right now.. you jus have to face it.. i wouldn't say that everything that is faced can be changed.. but at least don't avoid it! It won't solve any if you are trying to run away..
Well.. if you still can't accept what has happened.. give both some time to cool down.. In any case or another.. after the cooling period is over.. both should have a talk on this.. whether to continue the relationship or not.. is up to your decision.. she knows that she needed you.. bt she cannot force or push you to have her back if you cant.. but remember don't push the blame on her.. is nobody's fault.. not her not you.. not the ex..
Maybe this is one of the difficult path that you both have to pick up the challenge and see if you both can fight till the end.. If you really do love her.. You should forgive her.. You love for who she is.. love her good and bad.. positive and negative..
Sit down and think about it... I'm sure you already have the answers to yourself.. is jus you wanted others to suggest or to see if you should do the right thing anot.. Noone can force you something you don't want to.. If in the end.. it doesn't work out.. then so be it.. Give her and yourself a good explanation.. i'm sure if it really happens this way.. you dun wish to end it so badly..
Cheers.. -
FORGET the PAST.Originally posted by Philmaixmus:thankyou Santa Bear, i will consider your words and really give it some good thought.
I obviosuly do think she's worth it, cause my whole life, i haven't been weak and usually there would only be one route to take.. but things were getting so good.... as in, they couldn't be better, that i do think she is worth it, and i know she has morals and is truely sorry....
anymore words would be appreciated..
Just make it a CLEAN CUT between her and her bf. And don't give him a chance to create any trouble again...
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Hi i understand ur dilemma... frankly, if i would u, i wld feel so damm miserable too & most likely i would not see her again...
But this being AA, well, i ought to give some positive comments:
1st, it's a positive sign that she came clean. i dun know all these shit abt gals being tricked??? It's like if guys do xxx, its called cheating. If gals do it, its cause they are "playful" or "being cheated"..
i think it depends very much on what kind of person is she... only u know her best. If this is somethk rely out of character for her, maybe its a geunine mstake.
2nd, how much do u need her? As in, is ur love for her great enuff for u to forget the past.
If u 2 cld get past this hurdle, it may means ur love will be stonger..
good luck! -
If she really wants to be forgiven, ask her to cut off everything with her ex.
No more treating him as a friend, no more seeing him, contacting him, smsing him, just have a clean cut with him. Better, if possible to treat him as an enemy.
If she agreed, why not giving her a chance, thatÂ’s giving you a chance as well.
If she refuse, ask her, whether she want to be trick by the jerk again? Or she is enjoying being “trick”? -
if you truly love her, you will find strength in this love to come to terms with what had happened and forgive her.
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true.Originally posted by the Bear:forgiveness is a start...
she knows...
she was tricked..
and if you want to.. and learn to trust her again.. slowly with time..
you gotta ask yourself this and answer truthfully... is she worth it?
if so, forgive her.. and move on...
be with her and heck.. don't let her be exposed to such a position again...
and.. again, i reiterate... she knows.. and would have learnt...
good luck...
last thing... if she loves you and is sensible, she'll know that she's been given a chance again.. and that you love her enough to want to start again...
mostly, talk this out with her..
hopefully, both of you will come out of this with an even stronger bond..
and again... GREAT LUCK!
but do note that.
it's easier said than done..
somehow or another i know how this incident feels..and trust me.. it's very hard to get over it..
good luck, you'll need it
God bless u. -
no one said the path of love was easy...
but it is worth every bit of effort...
else, it would not be love..Originally posted by o(O.o)o:true.
but do note that.
it's easier said than done..
somehow or another i know how this incident feels..and trust me.. it's very hard to get over it..
good luck, you'll need it
God bless u. -
Does it matter if you know that turn left or right will reach the same destination. Ask yourself again, how much you treasure gal and the r/s?
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u should try having sex with her, then dump her, see if she comes running back to you...some girls are just sluts...
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U met one b4?Originally posted by mahai102:u should try having sex with her, then dump her, see if she comes running back to you...some girls are just sluts...
(WHO'S NEXT TO MEET A SL*T?! -
Originally posted by mahai102:u should try having sex with her, then dump her, see if she comes running back to you...some girls are just sluts...
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First of all, congratulations on finding the love of your love.
I see you've met some difficulties along the way, but if you learn to forgive and forget, despite the moral difficulties you encounter.
As a sidenote, i always believed that Love is the first thing humans learnt. Back in the stone ages, what morality was there? Only when we slowly evolved did things like law and morality come about. Oops, totally sidetracked.
Since she is deeply remorseful about it, and has told you about it first thing before she did anything, you should be happy. Happy that she trusts you so much, and is so very afraid of losing you.
But know that the two of you are very insecure now, and you two need to shower each other with a bit more love and care, especially in these next few days, which will prove crucial.
Help her to break up all ties and contact with her ex-boyfriend, who's only using her.
Only you can do it, so...
Godspeed. -
double.
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too bad for you that you became the rebound board dude.
Thats someting you should learn from.... make sure the girl got over the guy before you start your moves... unless ya in it just for the sex.
Besides, that girl is dumb enough to be duped.... why would you want to keep such a girl?