Pls give me some strength...
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I did something wrong.. and my bf is still treating me very coldly... He doesn't take the initiative to call me and sms me.. it has been 8 days le. It's only me sms him then he will reply. I wanna make everything alright again so i'm holding on. But i really need some strength.... Pls.... pls help me.... Its mentally torturing...
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well u dun wan tis kinda feeling do u? then get out of ur room and go straight to him n sort it out... no need to hide or be shy... its a relationship...Originally posted by shirurinu:I did something wrong.. and my bf is still treating me very coldly... He doesn't take the initiative to call me and sms me.. it has been 8 days le. It's only me sms him then he will reply. I wanna make everything alright again so i'm holding on. But i really need some strength.... Pls.... pls help me.... Its mentally torturing... -
I said i will give him sometime....i dun wan to bother him as he already has a lot of work to worry about.. i dun wan to add on to his burdensOriginally posted by BrUtUs:well u dun wan tis kinda feeling do u? then get out of ur room and go straight to him n sort it out... no need to hide or be shy... its a relationship... -
What have you done wrong?Originally posted by shirurinu:I said i will give him sometime....i dun wan to bother him as he already has a lot of work to worry about.. i dun wan to add on to his burdens
You back in Singapore? -
Its that thread u replied in... i did come back for a day after that. I leave again.. tomorrow i'm coming back and the next day i'll be gone again...Originally posted by Devil1976:What have you done wrong?
You back in Singapore? -
by letting this thing continue hanging, its already a burden... if things get well he happy then his work can finish faster n better.... jz go there n have a gd talk, wun take the entire night... if things cant get well then bobian, gonna use time to rebuild the relationship...Originally posted by shirurinu:I said i will give him sometime....i dun wan to bother him as he already has a lot of work to worry about.. i dun wan to add on to his burdens -
He told me... now its not what should be from you..It's myself... So many things happened to work.. and now thisOriginally posted by BrUtUs:by letting this thing continue hanging, its already a burden... if things get well he happy then his work can finish faster n better.... jz go there n have a gd talk, wun take the entire night... if things cant get well then bobian, gonna use time to rebuild the relationship... -
so u mean its his mental...? wat actuali happen? i missed the thread...Originally posted by shirurinu:He told me... now its not what should be from you..It's myself... So many things happened to work.. and now this -
wat did u do wrong?
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He said he was cheated big time by his ex.. and anything comes close to it is scarry
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=115052 -
Hmmm.... not trying to promo but i have had trouble with relationships b4 n Oceanos was able to help me...maybe u wanna look for him....just click e link on my siggy n u can ask him for help......
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i wouldn't suggst seeking such help to solve a relationship..my stand is..'zhi biao bu zhi ben'..but of coz it's up to individual..
communication is impt..
tell him that u are stress over wad had happen..
i dun think finding few hrs of his time..to settle things one and for all..so that both party would know wad to do..is hard...
wish u goot luck yah..probably if u are afraid of taking up his time..write him an email..so that he can read it while u are away from work.. -
You're a flight attendent or something?Originally posted by shirurinu:Its that thread u replied in... i did come back for a day after that. I leave again.. tomorrow i'm coming back and the next day i'll be gone again...
This might not be exactly an excessive emotional baggage thing as you have suspected in the 1st place.
One inevitable factor, yes... Lies with you....
Second thing... My guess is STRESS coming from his work... Overflowing...
How often do you fly off and how long do you usually stay out there? Job requirement? Try to work something out of it.... Leave such situations 'unattended' is often not a wise choice... Not like you would wish to lose this good bf of yours?
Coming back to point 2... He's STRESSED.. You? As much as I'm concerned, you shouldn't be. Try to keep yourself in check. Think and work things out soberly. How old are the both of ya?
In my presumptions, he should be often a capable guy. Taking care of you. Indeed.. What's happening to you now, he might not even really blame you. Instead. He could be blaming himself. Not a wise nor healthy move considering the fact that he's already experiencing enough stress from work. He feels a sense in the lost of control. As a protecter of you. Might even feel guilt. Encourage him. Cheer him up. Do NOT let him FALL. Once you have his morale boosted, there should be 2 pillars up for 'counter'. Holding him under such a circumstance for long (not to mention adding stress to him) would only tear and wear him down eventually. If you're equally lost, it'll be VERY LIKELY either a GONE CASE or a REAL TOUGH BATTLE.
REMEMBER. He needs some form of ASSURANCE from YOUR SIDE now. He'll probably to hang on on his own. But a RELATIONSHIP is never a one man's show. It'll be GREAT if you can show him that you can take care of yourself and lighten up his burden a bit. Else, at least let him know that you're coping fine or trying to remedy your situation. He needs morale booster and LOVE from you. LOVE is an AMAZING thing. With that, you can help him walk a LONG WAY which in turn he should be grateful to this love and in others, allow this relationship to continue in its bloom...
DON'T BE AFRAID... BE EXCITED... CAUSE YOU'LL BE DOING ALOT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP... AND WHEN THE STORM'S OVER... IF BOTH OF YOU SURVIVE TO SEE IT... THE 1st RAY OF SUN'S GLITTER WOULD BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ONE....
ALL THE BEST.... GO FOR IT GIRL....
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simple solution. stop drinking.
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zzzz. why must the guys always initiate the sms or contact.. u're the gf, u can oso initiate wat...
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have u tried apologising to him?Originally posted by shirurinu:I did something wrong.. and my bf is still treating me very coldly... He doesn't take the initiative to call me and sms me.. it has been 8 days le. It's only me sms him then he will reply. I wanna make everything alright again so i'm holding on. But i really need some strength.... Pls.... pls help me.... Its mentally torturing... -
have you ever thought about becoming a lesbian?
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Originally posted by Devil1976:
Thanks Devil for the Insight..! It really helps a lot. well... I'm 23 and he's 30.
You're a flight attendent or something?
This might not be exactly an excessive emotional baggage thing as you have suspected in the 1st place.
One inevitable factor, yes... Lies with you....
Second thing... My guess is STRESS coming from his work... Overflowing...
How often do you fly off and how long do you usually stay out there? Job requirement? Try to work something out of it.... Leave such situations 'unattended' is often not a wise choice... Not like you would wish to lose this good bf of yours?
Coming back to point 2... He's STRESSED.. You? As much as I'm concerned, you shouldn't be. Try to keep yourself in check. Think and work things out soberly. How old are the both of ya?
In my presumptions, he should be often a capable guy. Taking care of you. Indeed.. What's happening to you now, he might not even really blame you. Instead. He could be blaming himself. Not a wise nor healthy move considering the fact that he's already experiencing enough stress from work. He feels a sense in the lost of control. As a protecter of you. Might even feel guilt. Encourage him. Cheer him up. Do NOT let him FALL. Once you have his morale boosted, there should be 2 pillars up for 'counter'. Holding him under such a circumstance for long (not to mention adding stress to him) would only tear and wear him down eventually. If you're equally lost, it'll be VERY LIKELY either a GONE CASE or a REAL TOUGH BATTLE.
REMEMBER. He needs some form of ASSURANCE from YOUR SIDE now. He'll probably to hang on on his own. But a RELATIONSHIP is never a one man's show. It'll be GREAT if you can show him that you can take care of yourself and lighten up his burden a bit. Else, at least let him know that you're coping fine or trying to remedy your situation. He needs morale booster and LOVE from you. LOVE is an AMAZING thing. With that, you can help him walk a LONG WAY which in turn he should be grateful to this love and in others, allow this relationship to continue in its bloom...
[b]DON'T BE AFRAID... BE EXCITED... CAUSE YOU'LL BE DOING ALOT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP... AND WHEN THE STORM'S OVER... IF BOTH OF YOU SURVIVE TO SEE IT... THE 1st RAY OF SUN'S GLITTER WOULD BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ONE....
ALL THE BEST.... GO FOR IT GIRL.... [/b]
Yes i think what u say is right. Coz he said that i'm so far away and he cannot do anything to help. He felt helpless.
As for the morale booster.. i really dunno how to go about it? what should i do? -
Something tells me its time for a new boyfriend.
May you be as virtuous as the women of japan.
Rise as tall as Mount Fuji one day...
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Originally posted by shirurinu:I did something wrong.. and my bf is still treating me very coldly... He doesn't take the initiative to call me and sms me.. it has been 8 days le. It's only me sms him then he will reply. I wanna make everything alright again so i'm holding on. But i really need some strength.... Pls.... pls help me.... Its mentally torturing...
Hello shirurinu
That is really a very confusing name you have there and very interesting to look at too. Its just a joke to make you smile and forget about your sorrow.
Now, you seem to me like a nice girl. How he left you alone without any information of his whereabout is very very interesting. I say interesting because it may seem that he probably wants to make things clearer to you that he wants some time for himself. I am not trying to deceive you, but I gather from what I have read in this conversation that you have narrated to these nice people here, is that probably the mind of your boyfriend is very confuse like yours. So I think you have to relax and let him be by himself for awhile. I think he will call you or sms you when he feels much better.
Sayonara,
Joe. -
Thanks... But what i'm curious is about is.. y when i'm back everything is normal... and when i leave, he doesn't call me or sms me at all... like he used to... Is he really so busy? Or its he doesn't wan toOriginally posted by zulkifli mahmood: -
What's both your star signs?Originally posted by shirurinu:Thanks Devil for the Insight..! It really helps a lot. well... I'm 23 and he's 30.
Yes i think what u say is right. Coz he said that i'm so far away and he cannot do anything to help. He felt helpless.
As for the morale booster.. i really dunno how to go about it? what should i do?
Morale booster: Ask about his job (in a caring & non-pressurising way) and assure him that things are gonna be fine. Ask about his life in a friendly matter (don't let him feel that you're trying to nose into his business) and learn to share things of such. Let him know that you'll always be there beside him if he needs someone. -
Ic... i'm Libra and He's PiscesOriginally posted by Devil1976:What's both your star signs?
Morale booster: Ask about his job (in a caring & non-pressurising way) and assure him that things are gonna be fine. Ask about his life in a friendly matter (don't let him feel that you're trying to nose into his business) and learn to share things of such. Let him know that you'll always be there beside him if he needs someone. -
Hello shirurinu.Originally posted by shirurinu:Thanks... But what i'm curious is about is.. y when i'm back everything is normal... and when i leave, he doesn't call me or sms me at all... like he used to... Is he really so busy? Or its he doesn't wan to
Yes. He is very busy at work. How I know. Well, let say that when a guy is very busy in his work or in his business management, he usually comes back with a lack of energy and sometimes even to the extend of being depressed from friends, work and in your case, your consistance pressures of asking him to call or sms you always. Could be you and maybe not him?
I am very frank with you here. If a sweet lady keeps a guy by using the sms or phonecall, that is very inconvenient for him to feel that you trust him too like the way he trusts the beauty and heart of yours.
So, when you are back in, he likes to convey his feelings of missing you so much when you are not near him and sometimes he needs to see you because you have the notion that he is flirting around with other girls or with another special woman.
Now, how do you feel about the possibility of him having the thoughts of flirting around while you are abroad? That is plausible and he is confused because of his own stupidity mistakes of being unfaithful to you. How sure I am? I thought about the matters of the heart that you and the others have mentioned here, it leads to many answers but I see only one answer to this one man of yours, He has another congenial female companion.
I am sorry if I have offended you with my impression of you and your boyfriend. Being thirty years of age and you being much younger than him, he is expecting a lady with much greater nature of maturity and understanding. How many times you called him.... something that he disliked to hear from you?
Joe -
One year ago my wife died 6 months after she was diagnosed with liver cancer.Originally posted by shirurinu:I did something wrong.. and my bf is still treating me very coldly... He doesn't take the initiative to call me and sms me.. it has been 8 days le. It's only me sms him then he will reply. I wanna make everything alright again so i'm holding on. But i really need some strength.... Pls.... pls help me.... Its mentally torturing...
For the first three months after her passing I was so lost, depressed and had not much will to live on. Then fortunately a good dear friend of mine introduced to cycling.
I discovered that cycling has helped to take a load of misery & grief off from my mind. Since then I've been an avid cyclist; some days I ride as far as 190 - 260 kms to Desaru or beyond.
When I'm in my saddle, I feel so exhilarating and I'm in total control of my life....it's so therapeutic.