Will guys mind if the girl has an ex bf?
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I know this is a silly question for all guys and u will probably say No.
But many of my girlfriends have been telling me that guys will mind. They are different from girls. We accept the guys' past but not the other way round.
Many of them try to give the guy impression that the guy is the first bf. And they all tell me to do the same. I asked them how to. If I am a teenager, still can bluff. But not now. They still insist and say "Really lah. Guys are very petty one. They say don't mind. But in their heart, they will always think about it. One day if you quarrel with him, he's going to bring it out"
At first I ignored this kind of advice. This kind of thing, cannot bluff one what. But to date, so many of my girlfriends tell me the same thing which makes me think that they must have their reasons for saying that.
What do you think? -
Cos many feel insecured that the girl quarrelled cos starting to see ex again...
anyway there are a lot of girls who also mind about bf's past wat -
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No leh. Girls don't mind the guys' past one. They only worry about the guys' future (eg. will he have a crush on other girls one day?). Really.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:Cos many feel insecured that the girl quarrelled cos starting to see ex again...
anyway there are a lot of girls who also mind about bf's past wat -
oh, must be honest lah gal,
Bul!sh!t one time next time he won't believe u liao
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Insecured -- Does a guy also feel insecure during quarrels, thinking that the gf is comparing him with her ex?Originally posted by DriftingGuy:Cos many feel insecured that the girl quarrelled cos starting to see ex again...
anyway there are a lot of girls who also mind about bf's past wat
I know of a handful of girls who do that to their bfs. "last time my ex do this and that for me. you never." -
Ya its better to tell the truth.. trust is broken once he finds out that you lieOriginally posted by bul!sh!t:oh, must be honest lah gal,
Bul!sh!t one time next time he won't believe u liao -
no leh... i got gal reject mi after i tell them i screw more than 10 gals b4 and have alot of flings leh....and some totally change the atitude towards mi after knowing that leh......Originally posted by Honeybunz:No leh. Girls don't mind the guys' past one. They only worry about the guys' future (eg. will he have a crush on other girls one day?). Really.
but i dun mind gal got ex one... those who never have ex b4 then i more worri lor... dunno what is her problem why no one want...
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I don't mind, but that's because i'm so understanding.... (yea right).
Perhaps it will always be at the back of our mind, but so long the girl don't start saying "If only you were like my ex, who treat me so good, etc etc..."
I'm sure the guy won't start saying stuff like that either..
Anyways, relationship brings out the best and the worst of ourselves... that's why some people are really turned off by it..~ -
I think it only happens to ppl with low self-esteem or they think that girls have to remain virgins till they marry. None of my girlfriends ever said that to me before, nor do the guys I dated bothered about my ex-bfs nor do I hear them complain about their current bf complaining about their exs.Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know this is a silly question for all guys and u will probably say No.
But many of my girlfriends have been telling me that guys will mind. They are different from girls. We accept the guys' past but not the other way round.
Many of them try to give the guy impression that the guy is the first bf. And they all tell me to do the same. I asked them how to. If I am a teenager, still can bluff. But not now. They still insist and say "Really lah. Guys are very petty one. They say don't mind. But in their heart, they will always think about it. One day if you quarrel with him, he's going to bring it out"
At first I ignored this kind of advice. This kind of thing, cannot bluff one what. But to date, so many of my girlfriends tell me the same thing which makes me think that they must have their reasons for saying that.
What do you think?
Either that or the guy is someone who thinks that he has to be the first with the girl. No point looking back in the past. If the guy keeps looking backwards and not forward I think it's high time to move on
Anyways you don't have to tell your current bf about your ex. I mean if you complain about yr ex it means you still carry along with you alot of emotional baggage and if you compare it will definately make the guy insecure.
Best is to not even mention your exs in front of current bf. Just give a generic reply if he ask about why bother about the past when we are living for the future. -
Guys like to compare with ur history or past bf... wanting to make themselves more superior.
Some like to know every single details, while some dun. I guess some are just curious, while some are having inferior complex. -
Love a person =
Accept his/her past.....be with his/her present.......work with him/her for the future......
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Would a guy mind if a girl has an ex-boyfriend? The notion is so stupid it defies ridicule.
What would a guy expect from a girl who has never had a boyfriend before? A "new car" smell or something of the sort? -
massage the info :
ie: got 40+ bf like Sun Ho, Just say got one and his name is Jesus
Ok just jokin' I know its bad taste somemore ... Ok I am crass.
Life has many double standards and different people got different standards. -
don't mind my gf has any ex-bf...but will mind if she has too many ex-bf~
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Guys that mind r insecure one ler..they not confident of their 'keeping' ability... but usually when girls say sth, they mean the opposite.. eg..if u ask a gal wats wrong, and she says nothing............usually got sth one~
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Only insecure and paranoid guys would mind. Most guys don't.
I know I won't. I mean, it's not as if she's cheating on me behind my back, is she?
Go ahead and tell your guy how many exes you have. If he has a problem with that, then he's not the guy for you. Turn him into another 'ex' and find another more understanding guy.
I once chatted this girl on IRC. When she asked me how many exes I had, she accused me of bluffing when I said that I've never been attached. She told me to stop lying because since I'm 21 (22 this year), I ought to have had several relationships already.
I stuck by my story. She removed me from her MSN and blocked me, saying that she didn't want liars to be her friends.
Weird story, but true. -
Agreed. Guys will say they dont mind...
But deep down in their heart, they will be thinking...
fark...my girl was once screwed by another cock.
It doesnt matter tt guy got high or low self esteem.
Its all the same...animal instinct. Sharing not allowed. -
Does sex come into the question? Or is this just about previous relationships ?
If it's just about past relationships, then i think few guys mind... and the older they get, the less they mind.
If it's with sex, then some guys do feel uncomfortable about their girl's sexual history. But they do get over it , depending on whether he's active himself, how much he's into her, how many she's had, etc.
With such matters, what usually happens is that if he did it before (relationships, sex, etc) , he won't mind so much if she did as well. -
But, I can see why your girlfriends lie that he's their first. Some guys feel flattered to be the first. It's an ego boost. I'm not saying it's right... but it does make them feel good.
Or perhaps the guys are the conservative type who don't like girlfriend's who are too "wild" and had alot of experience (read: more experience than the bf). So the girls lie.
Perhaps the guys don't mind, but the girls lie anyway to make the guys feel better which in turn, benefits her .Originally posted by Honeybunz:Many of them try to give the guy impression that the guy is the first bf. And they all tell me to do the same. I asked them how to. If I am a teenager, still can bluff. But not now. They still insist and say "Really lah. Guys are very petty one. They say don't mind. But in their heart, they will always think about it. One day if you quarrel with him, he's going to bring it out" -
Actually such doubt shouldnt exist in the 1st place if the girl is already your gf
The guy should have sort it all out before confirming the r/s ... it is like..if u mind she got tons of bf and not virgin blahh blaah..then the guy shouldnt accept her as gf...
I mean once u accept her as gf..means all her history u should already know and ok with it (assuming the girl is honest ..which is hard hehehe ) -
Hahaha...yeah rite, guys will definitely mind if a girl has an ex bf regardless of his maturity level and age.Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know this is a silly question for all guys and u will probably say No.
But many of my girlfriends have been telling me that guys will mind. They are different from girls. We accept the guys' past but not the other way round.
Many of them try to give the guy impression that the guy is the first bf. And they all tell me to do the same. I asked them how to. If I am a teenager, still can bluff. But not now. They still insist and say "Really lah. Guys are very petty one. They say don't mind. But in their heart, they will always think about it. One day if you quarrel with him, he's going to bring it out"
At first I ignored this kind of advice. This kind of thing, cannot bluff one what. But to date, so many of my girlfriends tell me the same thing which makes me think that they must have their reasons for saying that.
What do you think?
But the ones that displayed it blatantly are always the Singaporean guys.
Yes they are petty, and we are all petty creatures to be correct. Neither guys or girls are able to accept the fact if either one of them still maintains contact with their ex-gf/bf. Which girl can actually tolerate the fact that her bf still maintains friendly contact with his ex?
I guess the reason behind our behaviour is solely due to our upbringing and our environment. Our society simply doesn't have the tolerance for this type of relations to co-exist in the first place, so we were brought up in that manner.
One of the solution is to make sure that the guy is never restless in a relationship. Once a guy is restless, he will start looking at other girls or finding fault with his own girl or comparing his girl with other girl. So girls....keep him busy with your schedule, occasional quarrels, spontaneous behaviours and of cos...helping him stay on track with his ambitions and goals (If he has any).
One of the biggest mistake that both guys and girls can make during a relationship is to start pointing fingers at each other. So if your bf/gf start to point finger or pick on you, the best way out is to ignore his/her nonsense until everything blew over and he/she has cooled down.
Anyway good luck to your relationship, some Singaporean guys are difficult to be with...especially if they have a close mind. -
perhaps, it is becos girls like to carry their ex-relationship concerns (such as distrust) into their new relationship and penalise their new bfOriginally posted by Honeybunz:I know this is a silly question for all guys and u will probably say No.
But many of my girlfriends have been telling me that guys will mind. They are different from girls. We accept the guys' past but not the other way round.
Many of them try to give the guy impression that the guy is the first bf. And they all tell me to do the same. I asked them how to. If I am a teenager, still can bluff. But not now. They still insist and say "Really lah. Guys are very petty one. They say don't mind. But in their heart, they will always think about it. One day if you quarrel with him, he's going to bring it out"
At first I ignored this kind of advice. This kind of thing, cannot bluff one what. But to date, so many of my girlfriends tell me the same thing which makes me think that they must have their reasons for saying that.
What do you think? -
Honesty is very impt in a r/s.
It is alright to tell abt previous bf but don't have to elaborate & reveal all the little details.
Remember it is not good to badmouth your ex & compare with your present partner.
It is very normal for one to have at least 1 or 2 past r/s esp. when one is in his/ her 20s. It is part of growing up & discovering what u like or dislike in a partner.
U only worry if that person have many short term multiple r/s cos it means that something is wrong with him/her. -
i got friends married women with kids...does that answer your query?Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know this is a silly question for all guys and u will probably say No.
But many of my girlfriends have been telling me that guys will mind. They are different from girls. We accept the guys' past but not the other way round.
Many of them try to give the guy impression that the guy is the first bf. And they all tell me to do the same. I asked them how to. If I am a teenager, still can bluff. But not now. They still insist and say "Really lah. Guys are very petty one. They say don't mind. But in their heart, they will always think about it. One day if you quarrel with him, he's going to bring it out"
At first I ignored this kind of advice. This kind of thing, cannot bluff one what. But to date, so many of my girlfriends tell me the same thing which makes me think that they must have their reasons for saying that.
What do you think?