What shall I do?
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I never sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
I never said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar -
Perhaps i think you should leave him and move on. Hes giving you the answer already "Don't blame me if i go stray". I suppose hes looking for a partner right now who can give him SEX.
It doesn't matter how much you love him in this case cuz it doesn't make sense to him. The defination of "LOVE" to him is to screw you. Passionate or not is one thing, there could be more than sex in a r/s.
If he insists, leave him. You deserve someone better. He does not respect you. I'm a guy, i know.. he'll start preying till he gets one tht suit his needs. Such guys are seeking fun, the more you dunwanna have sex; he'll try his best to physcho you to do so. Bottom line is: If love really play a part here, he wouldn't be demanding things from you and worse insist the things u do you won't regret.
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hmm.. seems to me that he's more interested in sex than u..
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So what do you make of it?Originally posted by Dreamland:My bf keeps asking me to have sex even though I am against pre-marital sex. He says that our relationship is not passionate. He does not look forward to our annivesaries, valentine's day or any other occassions. He says that next time if he strays, it is my fault. -
based on tt last line, i think u shd dump him now and tell him it's his fault
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Originally posted by Dreamland:My bf keeps asking me to have sex even though I am against pre-marital sex. He says that our relationship is not passionate. He does not look forward to our annivesaries, valentine's day or any other occassions. He says that next time if he strays, it is my fault.
2 words.
DUMP HIM!!! -
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming -
Been sexually active last time means he dump one after another ..Originally posted by Dreamland:There are many issues but this is the main one.
Love him.Find it hard to leave him.
Love myself. Find it hard to bend my principles.
There are alternatives but I find it hard to do it. He has been very sexually active last time. He blames me for the lack of passion in this relationship.
So our daily conversation revolves around this topic and ended up badly.
I guess he really does love me cos he feels shortchanged but still stayed with me.
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Originally posted by Dreamland:There are many issues but this is the main one.
Love him.Find it hard to leave him.
Love myself. Find it hard to bend my principles.
There are alternatives but I find it hard to do it. He has been very sexually active last time. He blames me for the lack of passion in this relationship.
So our daily conversation revolves around this topic and ended up badly.
I guess he really does love me cos he feels shortchanged but still stayed with me.
If he truly loves u, he will respect u.
Are u sure he's with u bcos of love? i think it's LUST.
Think about it. You will regret if u give it to him.
what shortchanged? You are a gf, not a prostitute. U are not with him to satisfy his sexual needs. -
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears -
No matter what, don't give him sex. Sex out of marriage never produces a good ending.
Consider leaving him, if he makes any more threats. -
Sex is a powerful thing. It can drive some men to all kinds of unreasonable behaviour and say all sorts of unreasonable things. Sometimes it's better to let go than give in. Especially if there are other issues involved, though they may not be major ones at this point of time.Originally posted by Dreamland:There are many issues but this is the main one.
Love him.Find it hard to leave him.
Love myself. Find it hard to bend my principles.
There are alternatives but I find it hard to do it. He has been very sexually active last time. He blames me for the lack of passion in this relationship.
So our daily conversation revolves around this topic and ended up badly.
I guess he really does love me cos he feels shortchanged but still stayed with me.
I feel a good strong relationship needs to be built on trust and respect. If your boyfriend truly loves you, there are other alternatives for him to consider to relieve his sexual needs for the time being. But he's chosen to go the route of threats, blaming you if he strays and saying it's your fault that the relationship lacks passion. Worse, with your keeping to your principles which is an admirable thing, he seems to be losing interest in you. If this latest ploy of his is just to force you to give in to his demands, he is adding to the emotional abuse he has been heaping on you.
If you are looking at this relationship with a view to marriage, perhaps you might like to consider taking a short break away from him to sort things out in your mind? It's not uncommon for men of this nature to stray in their marriages and leave their families high and dry. They would blame their wives as well. -
im a guy and i agree 100%. x2Originally posted by miss_soojung:Sex is a powerful thing. It can drive some men to all kinds of unreasonable behaviour and say all sorts of unreasonable things. Sometimes it's better to let go than give in. Especially if there are other issues involved, though they may not be major ones at this point of time.
I feel a good strong relationship needs to be built on trust and respect. If your boyfriend truly loves you, there are other alternatives for him to consider to relieve his sexual needs for the time being. But he's chosen to go the route of threats, blaming you if he strays and saying it's your fault that the relationship lacks passion. Worse, with your keeping to your principles which is an admirable thing, he seems to be losing interest in you. If this latest ploy of his is just to force you to give in to his demands, he is adding to the emotional abuse he has been heaping on you.
If you are looking at this relationship with a view to marriage, perhaps you might like to consider taking a short break away from him to sort things out in your mind? It's not uncommon for men of this nature to stray in their marriages and leave their families high and dry. They would blame their wives as well. -
Tarius Ying? Is that u?
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Can't advise...I'm also in a similar situation...
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Hmm... Sounds pretty unhealthy...?Originally posted by Dreamland:He can be quite faithful in a relationship and puts his gf as a priority. He said that he has been sexually active when he was with his exs.
He can be nice, but never think before his speaks. That's why I always feel hurt by his words. And, we will end up quarreling again.
I know he is desperate and from what I observe from the forum, a lot of guys are like him. In fact, girls too. I am not sure if I should leave him. He tried to change my mentality in a lot of ways, to the extent of using 3rd party to threaten me. He has stopped doing that after after a big fight. Now, he just dun update me about the 3rd party anymore.
And, I haven't been meeting him on sats. He said he does not even look forward to meet me anymore.
I dunno if he is trying to make me feel guilty for making him suffer like that. Sometimes, he says that I should marry a monk or my nerdy frens and I will get really angry. But at the end of every quarrel, he will call me and we will be alright until the daily conversation starts again. sigh..
How long have you been together in this relationship? Other than penetration sex, are there alternatives like pettings and such...? -
... Dump him plsOriginally posted by Dreamland:My bf keeps asking me to have sex even though I am against pre-marital sex. He says that our relationship is not passionate. He does not look forward to our annivesaries, valentine's day or any other occassions. He says that next time if he strays, it is my fault.
.. maybe u love him too much to dumb him.. but i believe short pain it better than longer pain... i believe even if u give in to him.. next time he got enough liao.. also will dump u one..(than that time how? ) .. there lot more guy out there.. -
how old are you and your boyfriend.
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Maybe after you have given him sex, you would also become one of his "sexually active [partners] last time".
A gentleman does not compare his current girlfriend with his ex-girlfriends, especially not in front of her. -
than when when u disagree to have sex with him.. he no longer put u in priority? Trust me...u won't last with this guy.. If a person messes with your heart..why put up with itOriginally posted by Dreamland:He can be quite faithful in a relationship and puts his gf as a priority. He said that he has been sexually active when he was with his exs.
He can be nice, but never think before his speaks. That's why I always feel hurt by his words. And, we will end up quarreling again.
I know he is desperate and from what I observe from the forum, a lot of guys are like him. In fact, girls too. I am not sure if I should leave him. He tried to change my mentality in a lot of ways, to the extent of using 3rd party to threaten me. He has stopped doing that after after a big fight. Now, he just dun update me about the 3rd party anymore.
And, I haven't been meeting him on sats. He said he does not even look forward to meet me anymore.
I dunno if he is trying to make me feel guilty for making him suffer like that. Sometimes, he says that I should marry a monk or my nerdy frens and I will get really angry. But at the end of every quarrel, he will call me and we will be alright until the daily conversation starts again. sigh.. ...
He even use 3rd party just to treaten u to give in... which mean.. sex to him is more important than his gf feeling... try to be read this tread from a outsider view and analysis what u type out..and hopfully u will get your decision from there -
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So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now -
If you wan to give in, give him a handjob. Masturbate for him. Its also sex relief for him. Thats it. Nothing more.Originally posted by Dreamland:My bf keeps asking me to have sex even though I am against pre-marital sex. -
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I simpathize -
Why not progress to the next step and get married, as in ROM?Originally posted by Dreamland:Yes, tried to do that as an alternative for years. He has been feeling guilty abt it cos he stopped me after some time. But I must be really bad at it cos he never "cum" in his words. He said that he might as well do it himself.
He likes passionate kiss..I can't even kiss him well after so long.failure isn't it.
After that everything can be done officially.