In need of advice.....heeeeeeelp!!
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Hi to all,
Here goes my luv story...
I've knwn S for almost 3 yrs now....hw do i get to knw him?hmm....he accidentally msg d wrong person...he wanted to msg sum1 else but keyed in d wrong no....so frm der on we bcame frens.I was attached with my bf nw husband at dat time.....n we were havin probs.So basically he knws all d sHiT my hubby does....i didn't have any feelings for him at dat time bt he does.
After a few mths,i told him i was gettin married.He told me to tink carefully...am i makin d rite decision...i told him yes & he respected me.After i got married,i thought life wld b happier....probs started since i got pregnant.My hubby started to flirt ard...he dun care much for me n my baby.
Things got worse n worser....he started to abuse me.Den 1 day,i wanted to call up my old fren...i accidentally called him.We started to chat...catch up wit d old times & i started to confide to him once again.As time goes by,we started to 'go out'.....he told me he luvs me rite frm d start.Been waitin for me for almost 3 yrs....anyway,as time goes by,my feelings started to grow for him.
He did say he wants to marry me....dat is if he has d chance....
Bt i knw it's impossible....coz i'm still married...n my hubby wun let me go....
I even tried to file for a divorce..not bcoz of S...but bcoz i can't always live in constant fear...nt knwin when he's gonna hit me next....
Bt he juz wun let me go........so does S...he wun let me go too....nt ever again...
Even my parents wun let me divorce.....
I'm at lost...totally lost....i luv my baby.....n i luv S too....
Wat shld i do........
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u know what you want, now it all about executing it.
divorce need not be done with mutual agreement.
u have made a mistake, u should decide if you want to continue with this mistake or learn from it. -
wat do u mean....wat mistake have i done..bein wit S?Originally posted by www:u know what you want, now it all about executing it.
divorce need not be done with mutual agreement.
u have made a mistake, u should decide if you want to continue with this mistake or learn from it.
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mistake for marrying someone whom u now wish to divorce.
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Without mutual consent will take 4 years..... talk to your hubby to convince him to let you go.... dunOriginally posted by www:u know what you want, now it all about executing it.
divorce need not be done with mutual agreement.
u have made a mistake, u should decide if you want to continue with this mistake or learn from it.
waste 4 years of yr precious time.... -
dats d prob....we dun plan to get married in d 1st place...
it's all our parent's decision....n we kinda like go wit d flow......
didn't tink much abt it.......
yah.....my mistake..... -
ashtina82,
Let's put aside the issue that u wanna divorce ur husband.
I would like to ask u... How well u know S ? Juz becoz u are not happy in ur relationship with ur husband & S comes to ur life and sweet talk to u, u wanna be 2gether with him?
Are u sure that history will not repeat itself? -
already did...our parents wld always interfere...Originally posted by pinkygal76:Without mutual consent will take 4 years..... talk to your hubby to convince him to let you go.... dun
waste 4 years of yr precious time....
tellin me to tink abt my child....is she gonna b happy if we were to seperate...
dey keep tellin me to pity her......its as if dey're puttin d blame on me now.... -
if i wanna get a divorce...it's not bcoz of S....Originally posted by gypises:ashtina82,
Let's put aside the issue that u wanna divorce ur husband.
I would like to ask u... How well u know S ? Juz becoz u are not happy in ur relationship with ur husband & S comes to ur life and sweet talk to u, u wanna be 2gether with him?
Are u sure that history will not repeat itself?
I can't always live in fear nt knowin wen he's gonna hit me
Almost everyday,i'm forcin myself to go back home....
N wen i do it's coz i tink of my baby...N i've knwn S for almost 3 yrs nw
He's been der for me....even b4 i got married -
sometimes, we don't need to wish for a happy life.
we just need the strength and courage to make certain decisions.
and then MAYBE happiness will fall on our laps.
unfortunately the converse is true too. unhappiness will not fall OFF our laps just by itself. -
I took up all d courage & strength i have...to tell dem i wanna divorce...Originally posted by jOhO:sometimes, we don't need to wish for a happy life.
we just need the strength and courage to make certain decisions.
and then MAYBE happiness will fall on our laps.
unfortunately the converse is true too. unhappiness will not fall OFF our laps just by itself.
all i got was hostility...lots of verbal words...especially frm my mum
i dun understand....She knws d sHiT my hubby does....
& i'm her daughter....y can't she let me b happy.... -
so as www mentioned, you have decided.Originally posted by ashtina82:I took up all d courage & strength i have...to tell dem i wanna divorce...
all i got was hostility...lots of verbal words...especially frm my mum
i dun understand....She knws d sHiT my hubby does....
& i'm her daughter....y can't she let me b happy....
well, straight to the point, if u haven't executed your decision, u haven't been strong enough.
so i do hope you gather what u need to go thru with this.
u of course know that you can still file for divorce without his consent (or ur parents' for that matter), right? -
I think a woman who is old enough to be married and have a children
should be old enough to make her own decisions regardless of what
other things are there
Right now what you need is not ANOTHER candidate for a husband (you already have one) but to solve the problem you face with your OWN husband. As for whether S will be able to fulfill your expectations, well, nobody will know would they? And if things don't work out, who do you have to blame?
I suggest it is about time you think very very carefully what you want with your own life. You are old enough to make a decision of your own
so that whatever the consequences, you can't blame it on anyone else.
Even if your decision is not to divorce COS your parents keep trying to influence you - it is your decision to be influenced. You can't blame them for it anymore.
So be strong AND cool for your baby's sake. Don't jump into things you are not sure of. The floating log you think will save you, might just be a crocodile. Maybe you should just learn how to swim. -
thx....Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:I think a woman who is old enough to be married and have a children
should be old enough to make her own decisions regardless of what
other things are there
Right now what you need is not ANOTHER candidate for a husband (you already have one) but to solve the problem you face with your OWN husband. As for whether S will be able to fulfill your expectations, well, nobody will know would they? And if things don't work out, who do you have to blame?
I suggest it is about time you think very very carefully what you want with your own life. You are old enough to make a decision of your own
so that whatever the consequences, you can't blame it on anyone else.
Even if your decision is not to divorce COS your parents keep trying to influence you - it is your decision to be influenced. You can't blame them for it anymore.
So be strong AND cool for your baby's sake. Don't jump into things you are not sure of. The floating log you think will save you, might just be a crocodile. Maybe you should just learn how to swim.
feelin a bit betta now.... -
Wat if i already filed....but he doesn't approve of it...Originally posted by jOhO:so as www mentioned, you have decided.
well, straight to the point, if u haven't executed your decision, u haven't been strong enough.
so i do hope you gather what u need to go thru with this.
u of course know that you can still file for divorce without his consent (or ur parents' for that matter), right?
wat happen next... -
hmm
the next time he hits u, go file a police report. Family violence.
with that as teh case, u dun hav to wait the full 3 years to divorce. -
I can't bear to do it....guess it's true...Originally posted by shinta:hmm
the next time he hits u, go file a police report. Family violence.
with that as teh case, u dun hav to wait the full 3 years to divorce.
I have no guts..... -
i'm no expert.. but i believe there will be a seperation period of 3 years first, then a divorce.Originally posted by ashtina82:Wat if i already filed....but he doesn't approve of it...
wat happen next...
and as shinta mentioned, next time he hits u, give it to him nicely. as in show him the police report.
better still.. install spy cams in your home to tape him being a bastard. see how he run. -
ok....thx...dat will do...Originally posted by jOhO:i'm no expert.. but i believe there will be a seperation period of 3 years first, then a divorce.
and as shinta mentioned, next time he hits u, give it to him nicely. as in show him the police report.
better still.. install spy cams in your home to tape him being a bastard. see how he run. -
u have no guts to fight for your happiness? or.. wat?Originally posted by ashtina82:I can't bear to do it....guess it's true...
I have no guts..... -
in other words,i give up....in everythin....Originally posted by jOhO:u have no guts to fight for your happiness? or.. wat? -
I think you need a change in attitude, starting with your signature
Maybe that's the problem, you're not mad enough.Originally posted by ashtina82:in other words,i give up....in everythin.... -
hahaha....Originally posted by choco B:I think you need a change in attitude, starting with your signature
Maybe that's the problem, you're not mad enough. it's juz a signature... -
if u've given up u wouldn't even bother posting here.Originally posted by ashtina82:in other words,i give up....in everythin.... -
i juz needed advice.....i'm at lost....Originally posted by jOhO:if u've given up u wouldn't even bother posting here.