Am I really that stupid?
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3 years ago, I willingly lend my friend, someone I knew for over 15 years, a big sum of money without even asking why she needs the money. She claimed that she will return me it to me after 3 months but I did not hear from her since .... Prior to this incident, we had gatherings yearly and talk about good old days but now ... Sigh ...
I realised that she took the money to start a new business ... apparently, the business failed and I understand she is now under remand for some financial problem ... I signed up a few Line of Credit for her ... Due to some unforseen circumstances, I lose my job and I am now in debt with these sum fo money ....
Any kind soul out there can advise what can I do? Any chance of me getting back the money? I am prepared to forgo the friendship just to get back my own money as I needed the finance now ... Shall I seek legal advise? And what is the cost of legal?
Incidentally, I engagd the services of Debt Collecting Agency to recover the sum and I paid an upfront fee of $1500 for their services, with the rest of the commission being payable upon recovery of the amount by the DCA. As soon as I signed the contract with them, the DCA had never contacted me .. I am the one who has always pursued them for an update on the status .. Am I being conned by the DCA? I went to CASE to complain but they claimed I cant do anything as I signed a contract which specifies I willingly pay the upfront fees ...
Sigh .... All of a sudden, I felt life's sucks .... with all these misfortuntes happening to me ... hope I can have listening ears from someone and from those who can offer me some advice on how to proceed ... -
I tend to lend money out to friends even though I know they cant pay it back. Call it stupid or genorisity. As for getting out of debt, maybe you could read Donald Trumps biography.. he was in a huge amount of debt till he climbed his way up.
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U got "black & white" (I.O.U) stating that she owes u $ ?
Actually i think money-lending is illegal in S'pore (no matter u are loan-shark anot)
In S'pore, the right way is to approach the Bank for $$$... they are legalise "Loan-SharK"... -
U are neither stupid nor generousity. This is call "Yi Qi". U are indeed a good fren. Whoever gets to befriend u are very fortunate, propably is due to their good Karma.Originally posted by alexkusu:I tend to lend money out to friends even though I know they cant pay it back. Call it stupid or genorisity. As for getting out of debt, maybe you could read Donald Trumps biography.. he was in a huge amount of debt till he climbed his way up.
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oh..u think so? Im not sure eh.. in my mind i lend the money cos i feel they need it more than me....money is not everything right? Also sometime my friends say that Im being taken advantage of. Oh well, I guess thats life. People more fortunate should help unfortunate.Originally posted by gypises:U are neither stupid nor generousity. This is call "Yi Qi". U are indeed a good fren. Whoever gets to befriend u are very fortunate, propably is due to their good Karma.
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Ur surname is Chong ?
Originally posted by alexkusu:oh..u think so? Im not sure eh.. in my mind i lend the money cos i feel they need it more than me....money is not everything right? Also sometime my friends say that Im being taken advantage of. Oh well, I guess thats life. People more fortunate should help unfortunate. -
oooh...close but no.Originally posted by gypises:Ur surname is Chong ?
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ok, so u are not cck. Thot u sounds & resemble a friend of mine.
Sorri...Originally posted by alexkusu:oooh...close but no. -
Np, for $50, ur forgivenOriginally posted by gypises:ok, so u are not cck. Thot u sounds & resemble a friend of mine.
Sorri... -
get a lawyer to write a lawyer's letter. jus to frighten the person only lah. better den nothing. but in the end oso back to square one(for my incident lah). can intro u a lawyer. that time he only charge me for $120 for the paper, envelope, ink n consultation. other places normally charge for at least $200
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I managed to get her to give me a receipt, bearing the company's name and the amount payable to me (wonder this can be considered as IOU?), early this year. Other than that, I do not have any other evidence as most of the funds released to her are via cash cheque (how stupid am I). At that point of time, I was merely thinking of helping her and I sincerely thought she has some family problems, little do I know what she intends to do ....
Thanks for the intro of lawyer .... I dun mind having the contact if possible .. Like what you siad, better than nothing. I also lose her contact liao as the company has wind up and she has also moved away from her residential home ... made thousand of calls to her but no responses as xpected .. Well, I understand I can sue her for bankrupcy and possess whatever things owned by her including residential property?
What about the services from the Debt Collecting Agency, can I do anything to them? -
Debt Collecting Agency r cheater, dun trust them at all. engage a loan shark better.
but no add den how r u going to send her the letter?? u can sue her, but r u willing to vomit out 7k for the lawsuit -
Hmm...Your case isnt really uncommon. In future never trust your money to anyone. It wont come back to you.
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Originally posted by mangolover:
I managed to get her to give me a receipt, bearing the company's name and the amount payable to me (wonder this can be considered as IOU?), early this year. Other than that, I do not have any other evidence as most of the funds released to her are via cash cheque (how stupid am I). At that point of time, I was merely thinking of helping her and I sincerely thought she has some family problems, little do I know what she intends to do ....
Thanks for the intro of lawyer .... I dun mind having the contact if possible .. Like what you siad, better than nothing. I also lose her contact liao as the company has wind up and she has also moved away from her residential home ... made thousand of calls to her but no responses as xpected .. Well, I understand I can sue her for bankrupcy and possess whatever things owned by her including residential property?
Under the current situation, it's not really that advisable for you to directly employs a lawyer's service unless you're just out for general advices...
It seems like you can't even properly get hold of her... You'll probably face much more problems than just what a lawyer can do for you.. Try to find out more about her situations.. She might really be in a DEEP SH|T DEBT now for all you know, and you might just be dumping FURTHER MORE $ into the legal acts which may not even bring you much fruits (if any?)....
In BLACK and WHITE, you are at a GREAT LOSS. THAT, lawyers might also have their limitations...
NEXT TIME, do NOT lend BEYOND your ABILITY... Wanna talk about TRUE SAD CASE? YUP.. YOU'RE ONE NOW....
What about the services from the Debt Collecting Agency, can I do anything to them?
As told to you, it's quite UNLIKELY. At least not through LEGAL MEANS. -
i dont usually lend $ out to my friends unless i happen to have that spare cash. looking at my dad as an e.g. i alws bear in mind that there is a limit to help even a very good friend. take care of yourself first before lending that extra hand. cos if u fall, u might not know if someody is cushioning for ya
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i got none to lend,thats worst
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Mangolover,
Fools and their monies part. I'm not laughing at you coz I am also the fool. -
1 mistake after another ..
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Don't repeat this mistake anymore.
It is a costly mistake.
Must learn how to recover , but don't do anything stupid. -
i tell you... there are cases whereby relatives refuses to return debts too.Originally posted by shade343:Hmm...Your case isnt really uncommon. In future never trust your money to anyone. It wont come back to you. -
Sigh .... I got myself to be blamed ... Just that when I think of the good old days when we were together (with 2 others), we can talk our hearts out and practically everything in the world ... 15 over years of friendship ... so good till we can even talk dirty things and dun feel shy about it .. I am also sad that we have to end our friendship in this manner ... It is a painful experience for me .. while I can earn back what I've lost financially, through time, ... tilted friendship is hard to rebuild .. even if she eventually returned me the money, things can never be the same as before ...
Someone pointed out correctly, if you want to help, do it within your capability .... otherwise, when you fall, you aren't sure who will be there to lift you up ...
I came across a website call Small Tribunal Claims at subordinate court ... It allow consumers to file cases against company for unsatisfied services/products .... anybody has any idea what's this all about? -
people change financially and their character may change a little as time passes. It seems like you loaned her a sum over 100k
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Small claims tribunal is for claims below $10,000Originally posted by mangolover:Sigh .... I got myself to be blamed ... Just that when I think of the good old days when we were together (with 2 others), we can talk our hearts out and practically everything in the world ... 15 over years of friendship ... so good till we can even talk dirty things and dun feel shy about it .. I am also sad that we have to end our friendship in this manner ... It is a painful experience for me .. while I can earn back what I've lost financially, through time, ... tilted friendship is hard to rebuild .. even if she eventually returned me the money, things can never be the same as before ...
Someone pointed out correctly, if you want to help, do it within your capability .... otherwise, when you fall, you aren't sure who will be there to lift you up ...
I came across a website call Small Tribunal Claims at subordinate court ... It allow consumers to file cases against company for unsatisfied services/products .... anybody has any idea what's this all about?
i don't think can help.
Money harms friendship.
always keep in mind.
What's lost , is lost.
Im sure she didn't want it to happen either.
Can you provide us with more exact details?
When she returns you your money , your trust is gone liao.
But i don't think you can even get the money back.
Get just ready for the cold shoulder if you want the money back.
Money can be earned.
But once trust is gone , it must be slowly built back again.
In your case , i don't think she can earn your trust once more.
It's not the time spent with your friend which makes her a true friend.
It's the people who have been there for you who makes them your true friend.
To her, you are her supposed "True friend" .
Every step you take , it has a consequence , you just gotta know that it isn't easy to pick yourself up financially. Take each step from now on , with more care and caution. -
Actually wat is on the paper? Did u lend her money, or u own shares in the company? Cos if u own shares, then good luck, bad business mistake.
Why employ DCA??? You do a better job. If ur friend take money and lose because of business decision, u ask DCA to ask her for money also useless. She take money from mid air and return to u?
Better to talk to her properly and discuss a way. Return over time small amounts or something. Your friend already lost a lot of money from the business thing. Think deep down she avoided u because she felt bad about it. Talk it out. Don't use emotions into it. Better to have the money return to u in segments rather than the whole lump sum.
Last, learn your lessons. -
Don't think it's that much applicable in your case? You can give it a simple shot to see how things might go from there if you like..? Personal advice is don't pin too high a hope if any at all...Originally posted by mangolover:Sigh .... I got myself to be blamed ... Just that when I think of the good old days when we were together (with 2 others), we can talk our hearts out and practically everything in the world ... 15 over years of friendship ... so good till we can even talk dirty things and dun feel shy about it .. I am also sad that we have to end our friendship in this manner ... It is a painful experience for me .. while I can earn back what I've lost financially, through time, ... tilted friendship is hard to rebuild .. even if she eventually returned me the money, things can never be the same as before ...
Someone pointed out correctly, if you want to help, do it within your capability .... otherwise, when you fall, you aren't sure who will be there to lift you up ...
I came across a website call Small Tribunal Claims at subordinate court ... It allow consumers to file cases against company for unsatisfied services/products .... anybody has any idea what's this all about?
Try to look for loop holes within the contract with the debt collectors if you like to fight for yourself...? But for $1500, I could think it's barely worth the efforts...? Try a more friendly approach with them and see if it might work otherwise...?