Am I really that stupid?
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Do you trust your friend?Originally posted by mangolover:Sigh .... I got myself to be blamed ... Just that when I think of the good old days when we were together (with 2 others), we can talk our hearts out and practically everything in the world ... 15 over years of friendship ... so good till we can even talk dirty things and dun feel shy about it .. I am also sad that we have to end our friendship in this manner ... It is a painful experience for me .. while I can earn back what I've lost financially, through time, ... tilted friendship is hard to rebuild .. even if she eventually returned me the money, things can never be the same as before ...
Hmm... Not sure how to put it here... Not for sure an excusable case, but sometimes we just walk to the edge of our lives... Your friend could be at one now? Not certainly that she's intentionally denying you of your $...? -
I am refering to filing a case to Small Claims Tribunal against the DCA which I engaged. During my discussion with them, they claimed they have over 30 years of experiences in recovering this type of debts. They said they will do this, do that, but after I signed the contract, they have never contact me. They suppose to provide me a weekly update but they din. I am the one who always called them to chase for an update. They gave me the same type of reaons that I heard when I called my friend i.e. not free to meet, arrange for an appointment, need to settle something first, etc, etc. They even told me sometimes they don't have any update for me so there is no point calling me to provide an update ... what a fXX!
I know I may not get back my $1500 but I was thinking of registering a case with the Small Claims Tribunal court to dewter them for future dealings with other people? I found out from the website, the fees charged by the Small Claims Tribunal court is about $300.
I have loaned out closed to $100k. Half the amount came from Line of Credit and Master/VISA Card facilities. Now, it seems that I have to shoulder these debts. The company is registered under my friend's name and managed by another business partner, Mr A. As cited earlier, I do not know whatr did she use the money for as when she approached me, she told me she is unable to reveal the reason behind why she needed the money but promised that will be returned to me about 3 months later. For someone whom I knew over 15 years and met regularly, I do not doubt her sincereity ... When I asked her to return me the funds, she said she is trying very best to sort this out for me .. but the delay goes on and on ... she does not pick up my call nor does she meet me .. it is always Mr A spoke speaking to me .. he claimed they are trying their best to sort things out for me .. he also said my friend is too shameful to meet me as she did not know what to say ... My last contact with Mr A was last month .. he told me that my friend is now in remand and he is trying to raise some $500,000 to bail her ... He also told me that her family has refused to help and abodoned her ... Unfortunately, I also learnt from the newspaper that this Mr A has caused some injuries to one of his debtor, sentenced to 3 months jail but he appealed ... The appeal was heard by CJ and his sentence is now doubled ...
Think I'm doomed ...
To make things worse, I have just lost my job and I can forsee troubles coming .. I din dare to tell my mum about or neither my friends ... everyday, I have been wandering the streets till evening before I reeturn home .. just to show my mum nothing's happening .. A couple of times .. while I was driving .. I sobbed ... I neevr never dream that I will end up like that .... and I did nothing wrong .. I tried to keep things away from friends but I din know how long will it last ... suddenly, I fealt that the world just torn apart .........
But dun worry, I'm not about to do silly things as I still have the will to move on .. but just find it hard to press on for time being ... Waiting for an opportunity to meet someone (best I dunno) to say out all things, think I might feel better that way ... The problem is, apart from this, I have another social problem bothering me .... sigh .... -
Under your current circumstance... It's not advisable to spend 'extra money' if you're not confident of any take back.. At least not now.. It's just not worth it... Would like to tell you more about the $100k but decided that it would be pointless and to spare you the agony... You have more important to look after in your life....Originally posted by mangolover:I am refering to filing a case to Small Claims Tribunal against the DCA which I engaged. During my discussion with them, they claimed they have over 30 years of experiences in recovering this type of debts. They said they will do this, do that, but after I signed the contract, they have never contact me. They suppose to provide me a weekly update but they din. I am the one who always called them to chase for an update. They gave me the same type of reaons that I heard when I called my friend i.e. not free to meet, arrange for an appointment, need to settle something first, etc, etc. They even told me sometimes they don't have any update for me so there is no point calling me to provide an update ... what a fXX!
I know I may not get back my $1500 but I was thinking of registering a case with the Small Claims Tribunal court to dewter them for future dealings with other people? I found out from the website, the fees charged by the Small Claims Tribunal court is about $300.
I have loaned out closed to $100k. Half the amount came from Line of Credit and Master/VISA Card facilities. Now, it seems that I have to shoulder these debts. The company is registered under my friend's name and managed by another business partner, Mr A. As cited earlier, I do not know whatr did she use the money for as when she approached me, she told me she is unable to reveal the reason behind why she needed the money but promised that will be returned to me about 3 months later. For someone whom I knew over 15 years and met regularly, I do not doubt her sincereity ... When I asked her to return me the funds, she said she is trying very best to sort this out for me .. but the delay goes on and on ... she does not pick up my call nor does she meet me .. it is always Mr A spoke speaking to me .. he claimed they are trying their best to sort things out for me .. he also said my friend is too shameful to meet me as she did not know what to say ... My last contact with Mr A was last month .. he told me that my friend is now in remand and he is trying to raise some $500,000 to bail her ... He also told me that her family has refused to help and abodoned her ... Unfortunately, I also learnt from the newspaper that this Mr A has caused some injuries to one of his debtor, sentenced to 3 months jail but he appealed ... The appeal was heard by CJ and his sentence is now doubled ...
Think I'm doomed ...
To make things worse, I have just lost my job and I can forsee troubles coming .. I din dare to tell my mum about or neither my friends ... everyday, I have been wandering the streets till evening before I reeturn home .. just to show my mum nothing's happening .. A couple of times .. while I was driving .. I sobbed ... I neevr never dream that I will end up like that .... and I did nothing wrong .. I tried to keep things away from friends but I din know how long will it last ... suddenly, I fealt that the world just torn apart .........
But dun worry, I'm not about to do silly things as I still have the will to move on .. but just find it hard to press on for time being ... Waiting for an opportunity to meet someone (best I dunno) to say out all things, think I might feel better that way ... The problem is, apart from this, I have another social problem bothering me .... sigh ....
Talks are cheap if not in balck and white especially when you're with dealings... Whatever the DCA had promised you... Were they written in black and white..? If so, do you think it can be used against them...? Go down to legal aid with your documents if you think it's useful and get a $1 advice... At the same time you might wanna ask about your $100k issue if you want to? Not that I'm expecting anything much out for the latter case...
Doom? Job is job issue, get a job.. Get a living... Feed yourself... One thing which seems strange to me... You're still driving? Your car...? You might like to do some 'readjustments' to that before the actual storm hits you...? No use hanging around in a daze.. Though I can understand it's kinda hard to control sometimes... Especially when you've 'done nothing wrong'...? Yeah.. Sometimes life just get all sh|tty on ya... What to do...? That's really what makes things so interesting yeah...? Who would wanna spend a $7 watching a boring show anyway...?
I foresee that the worse that might come for you might be a bankrupcy or sort of things...? Then again, that might or might not even happen? I've got friends in sh|t with credits too... Blood sucking... Kills you only when you think too much about it... In other words, life can still go on and you still can learn to appreciate it in a different way... You're a guy yup? Remember NS...? Like imprisonment... Now things are not that terrible... Your friend's in jail? You're not... Whether you deserve it or not is not an utmost issue now... KEY is HOW ya handle it....?
I... Have a thought for your situation...? But I'm not that well-versed in your exact situation and legal implications... So where is that 'Mr A' now..? Are you still able to contact him...?
Instead of all blaming and cursing your friend, PIN A HOPE in her... Try to get to her and talk to her... If she's willing to carry upright all the debts and loads back on her shoulder, I'm not sure if there could be other avenue or implication legally...?
On a 'blind spot'... Try to work your way back to her if you can... At the same time, try to find out more about what this can do or mean to you legally... And... BE PREPARED? Cause it's gonna be a 'LONG TRIP'... Even if you manage to get back to her, she might or might not be willing to help you.. Not to mention how despaired she could already be... And how 'upset' you might get when you get to see her...? CONTROL IT... Though it might or might not be a ticket out, but at least it's trying something compared to nothing...?
Meanwhile.. Try to get a job and do some financial adjustments in your life-style... -
Thanks Devil 1976 for your kind advise ... I really appreciate it ... I have placed an advertisement on the internet to sell my car ... I'm afraid that the value depreciates so much that I have to fork out couple of thousands to pay the finance company but no matter what I still need to sell the car ...
My friend is now kept in a remand ... she is involved in a case similar to Sylvester's Sim's mother ... Think she will be charged in court in due course ... Mr A, my friend's business partner has just been sentenced to 6 months' prison by CJ as his appeal against his initial 3 months sentence was reputed by the CJ ..
I have already commenced hunting for a job ... send out resumes, attended couple of interviews and yet to get a job ... but I am still trying ... never and will not give up hope .. 'cause I have my mother to take care .. just hope she can be more understanding towards me ... that's all ...
I think I will leave the DCA services as it is ... really, there might be nothing I can do about as it was stated "Black & White" that I agree to pay them an upfront fees for engaging their services .. There is NO Black & White that they will do A-Z ...
Sigh ........ -
Good luck. Life does get sh|tty once in a while... Most important is you don't give up on yourself?Originally posted by mangolover:Thanks Devil 1976 for your kind advise ... I really appreciate it ... I have placed an advertisement on the internet to sell my car ... I'm afraid that the value depreciates so much that I have to fork out couple of thousands to pay the finance company but no matter what I still need to sell the car ...
My friend is now kept in a remand ... she is involved in a case similar to Sylvester's Sim's mother ... Think she will be charged in court in due course ... Mr A, my friend's business partner has just been sentenced to 6 months' prison by CJ as his appeal against his initial 3 months sentence was reputed by the CJ ..
I have already commenced hunting for a job ... send out resumes, attended couple of interviews and yet to get a job ... but I am still trying ... never and will not give up hope .. 'cause I have my mother to take care .. just hope she can be more understanding towards me ... that's all ...
I think I will leave the DCA services as it is ... really, there might be nothing I can do about as it was stated "Black & White" that I agree to pay them an upfront fees for engaging their services .. There is NO Black & White that they will do A-Z ...
Sigh ........
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People should realise that it is ok to say "NO" to friends.
I never lend my books/CDs to friends, I tell them the probability of me not getting them back is high, sorry!
The same for money I cannot afford to lose.
No point losing valuable money, as well as the friend.
I will give the money that my friend needs. The amount that I can afford.
I will also not be a guarantor for a friend's loan/HP.
A guarantor is like a sucker.
The borrower defaults, and the guarantor is liable.
He absconds with the goods/money, you get saddled with a lawyer's writ.
The lender will always chase the guarantor, because the borrower has already demonstrated that he is unable/unwilling to pay.
Be a guarantor only if you can pay up the amount easily.
Like a multi-millionaire boss being guarantor for a $10,000 loan of an employee.
Have the guts to refuse.