help?
-
hi,
I am really bothered.Pls help...
i have already been in a relationship for almost 5yrs. Everything has gone still and stagnant. There are no more sparks in the relationship.
i am always the one making effort to salvage it until i am really sian.
i dun tink i love him anymore.its more like a habit that i am together with him. im too used to having him around. but i dun have the courage to leave the relationship.
what shld i do? -
Have U tried communicating with him abt the current status of Ur relationship?Originally posted by sand85:hi,
I am really bothered.Pls help...
i have already been in a relationship for almost 5yrs. Everything has gone still and stagnant. There are no more sparks in the relationship.
i am always the one making effort to salvage it until i am really sian.
i dun tink i love him anymore.its more like a habit that i am together with him. im too used to having him around. but i dun have the courage to leave the relationship.
what shld i do? -
since you have tried salvaging the relationship n it didnt work, i suggest its time for u to give up.. no point hanging onto when the relationship is on the rocks already.. plus u have lost ur feelings from him.. i understand it has become a habit for both of u to be around together like lao fu qi and its hard to end everything just so abruptly.. so i guess u set aside some time and give urself n him some space (and time) to sort ur thoughts, eg. whether u guyz see a future together, or what went wrong over time that distanced both of u.... well if u two decide to separated one day, u must stay strong and start spending more time with ur friends and family members.. and lastly, of course keep ur options open. you'll never know when you may come across someone u that will sweep u off ur feet again.
so.. think long term, girl..
gd luck in whtever decision u make. -
Dear sand85,Originally posted by sand85:hi,
I am really bothered.Pls help...
i have already been in a relationship for almost 5yrs. Everything has gone still and stagnant. There are no more sparks in the relationship.
i am always the one making effort to salvage it until i am really sian.
i dun tink i love him anymore.its more like a habit that i am together with him. im too used to having him around. but i dun have the courage to leave the relationship.
what shld i do?
First things first. 5yrs is a long time. and any relationship can go still and stagnant after that amount of time.... you cant expect any relationship to remain full of sparks, excitment when you have been doing the same thing day in day out for the past 5,6,7 years, can you? Look at a happy old couple... do you think there's spark? do you think they love each other? the key is to find the spark. to make the effort to keep your love alive.
it is up to the two of you to bring back the sparks, go do things you have never done, travel together, hike, camp, go fly kite, explore the jungle.. find new things to do... take up dance lessons together... these are some things you can do to try bring the sparks back.
you have to try to get him to put in the effort too. it takes 2 hands to clap...
that being said, If you are CERTAIN that you no longer love him (don't mistake this with being bored of your current lifestyle, because there's no more sparks), then you'll have to rethink the relationship. If you really have no more feelings with him you'll have to stop wasting his time and make a clean break.
I know it is hard. I was in your exact position 2-3 yrs ago. I made the decision to break off. I kept telling myself, it is better this way then to wait and wait and on the day of marriage, realise I've made a mistake and leave him at the alter... so I chose to break his heart now rather than later. mind you it was difficult and heart-breaking seeing a person you once loved in so much pain. but I had to do it. if not I know it would have been worse.
But before you make any rash decision, make sure of your feelings. do not regret your actions, there's no turning back!!! -
"I am always the one making effort to salvage it until i am really sian."
What did you do? -
5 years is such a long time. wouldnt it be such a pity to give it up so easily. going through so much together to reach a full stop at the end of 5 year. IOriginally posted by sand85:hi,
I am really bothered.Pls help...
i have already been in a relationship for almost 5yrs. Everything has gone still and stagnant. There are no more sparks in the relationship.
i am always the one making effort to salvage it until i am really sian.
i dun tink i love him anymore.its more like a habit that i am together with him. im too used to having him around. but i dun have the courage to leave the relationship.
what shld i do?
think you two should have a good talk about what do you all want from this relationship. Understand how he think and feel before making a harsh decision. Alot of peole will reach this state of dull and lack of spark when a realtionship goes on more than 3 years. I think relationship really need a lot of hardwork man, working hard together to create sparkles.
if nobody wanna make effort anymore, its no point~ There no relationship at all, just 2 human walking together feeling bored~ passionate and excitment feelings about each other doesnt last but love will. thats why I can still see some granny and ah gong holding hands still walking together. if theres no love for each other anymore.. if he is not the one for you~ then you gotta let go le. drag for too long also waste time and energy. -
hey pple...thanx for ur time n advices...this is reali long...
We broke n patched a few times, but its mostly becuz i begged him not to go. Very useless i noe. I tink im the most useless girl ever. I cant seem to let go. Im always the one hanging on. i nv had the courage to reali leave him. I also had this tinking..5yrs liao..so long liao..break very wasted. But den, i dun wan the rest of the yrs to continue like dat.
i have been thinking thru many a times throughout our relationship.
Frens have been telling me that he is not good enuf for me frm the day i started out with him. But we still managed to walk this long path together. I can really sae he is my true love. i have nv loved anyone as much as i loved him..but sometimes when u noe the feeling ain't there anymore, its realli hard to continue.
He doesnt take the initiative to contact me. if doesnt treat me as nice as before. He puts his frens above everything else. He is insensitive and nv bother to find out whats wrong or humour me when im down. He juz leaves me alone to sulk. He always ask me how come i always noe what he is tinking...but he duno what im tinking. Even when comes to buying presents for me, he ask me to choose myself, he pay $! Tell me lorx, who wun sian?No surprises at all. Reason for doing so, he duno what i like. After so long, he can tell me dat. If he reali take notice to wat i say, it wun be hard to find out what i like at all. Our topics oso totally different. Im the more dreamy and emotional type who likes to talk about our relationship while he is the practical type who talks about nth but money..studies..etc.
Which ger dun wanna feel and be loved?
I used to tink i cannot live without him and its still the case now, but when its time to let go, you have to right?
Imagine u have to be the one taking initiatives, planning surprises etc. Im the girl leh, it shld be the guy's job doing all dis kinda stuff. im reali tired. Even if does bother to come humour me..gives me promises, within 3 days, he is back to his same old self.
I tot to myself, its been 5yrs and we r already like dat...i reali cannot imagine myself leading dis kind of life when we get married. Its scary.
Yes, i noe 5yrs is a long time. we noe each other inside out already and its reali hard to start afresh with someone else becuz u have to noe n understand the person from scratch once more. But seriously, u wun be staying with him becuz of love. but out of habit. I want the feeling of being in love as well. Ive lost touch of that feeling already.
We dun hold hands when we go out, we dun behave like couples. The feeling now is dat we are more like very good frens.
i believe in fate. If we r reali meant to be together, no matter how far or how long, we will still end up together. Whats the point of being together side by side when the hearts r so far apart? -
Well....stop it.....Originally posted by sand85:hey pple...thanx for ur time n advices...this is reali long...
We broke n patched a few times, but its mostly becuz i begged him not to go. Very useless i noe. I tink im the most useless girl ever. I cant seem to let go. Im always the one hanging on. i nv had the courage to reali leave him. I also had this tinking..5yrs liao..so long liao..break very wasted. But den, i dun wan the rest of the yrs to continue like dat.
i have been thinking thru many a times throughout our relationship.
Frens have been telling me that he is not good enuf for me frm the day i started out with him. But we still managed to walk this long path together. I can really sae he is my true love. i have nv loved anyone as much as i loved him..but sometimes when u noe the feeling ain't there anymore, its realli hard to continue.
He doesnt take the initiative to contact me. if doesnt treat me as nice as before. He puts his frens above everything else. He is insensitive and nv bother to find out whats wrong or humour me when im down. He juz leaves me alone to sulk. He always ask me how come i always noe what he is tinking...but he duno what im tinking. Even when comes to buying presents for me, he ask me to choose myself, he pay $! Tell me lorx, who wun sian?No surprises at all. Reason for doing so, he duno what i like. After so long, he can tell me dat. If he reali take notice to wat i say, it wun be hard to find out what i like at all. Our topics oso totally different. Im the more dreamy and emotional type who likes to talk about our relationship while he is the practical type who talks about nth but money..studies..etc.
Which ger dun wanna feel and be loved?
I used to tink i cannot live without him and its still the case now, but when its time to let go, you have to right?
Imagine u have to be the one taking initiatives, planning surprises etc. Im the girl leh, it shld be the guy's job doing all dis kinda stuff. im reali tired. Even if does bother to come humour me..gives me promises, within 3 days, he is back to his same old self.
I tot to myself, its been 5yrs and we r already like dat...i reali cannot imagine myself leading dis kind of life when we get married. Its scary.
Yes, i noe 5yrs is a long time. we noe each other inside out already and its reali hard to start afresh with someone else becuz u have to noe n understand the person from scratch once more. But seriously, u wun be staying with him becuz of love. but out of habit. I want the feeling of being in love as well. Ive lost touch of that feeling already.
We dun hold hands when we go out, we dun behave like couples. The feeling now is dat we are more like very good frens.
i believe in fate. If we r reali meant to be together, no matter how far or how long, we will still end up together. Whats the point of being together side by side when the hearts r so far apart?
Stop spinning....it's either head or tail...
You know what you want n what you dun want...
You've all the answers to all your questions in which the answers are from you....
So, it's either "Stay" or "Go". -
it seems to me you have made up your mind. now is time to act!
-
These are the sentences you'd written which should help you to make up your mind.
I also had this thinking, 5 years liao, so long liao, break very wasted. But then, I don't want the rest of the years to continue like that. But sometimes when you know the feeling ain't there anymore, it's really hard to continue. I really canNot imagine myself leading this kinda life when we get married. We don't behave like a couple.
Some words of advice from me:
1. Stop having expectations about what a guy should do & what a girl should do. Why be so calculating in a relationship? A relationship is about 2 parties, so just look at matters with both parties in mind, Not just Your Your Your & My My My.
2. If you really feel that there's No point in talking about it & salvaging the relationship, then end it. We can only advise you what we think is right, but it's ultimately YOUR choice.
3. Honestly, I would rather spare my bf the problem & let him know what I want rather than he buying the wrong thing. Please note: guys are NOT telepathic, they can't reach into your dreams & know exactly what you want! I thought there wasn't anything wrong with him wanting to pay for what YOU want... It's safer, rather than he trying his darnedest to buy something for you & you sulking because it's Not what you wanted.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by sand85:hey pple...thanx for ur time n advices...this is reali long...
We broke n patched a few times, but its mostly becuz i begged him not to go. Very useless i noe. I tink im the most useless girl ever. I cant seem to let go. Im always the one hanging on. i nv had the courage to reali leave him. I also had this tinking..5yrs liao..so long liao..break very wasted. But den, i dun wan the rest of the yrs to continue like dat.
i have been thinking thru many a times throughout our relationship.
Frens have been telling me that he is not good enuf for me frm the day i started out with him. But we still managed to walk this long path together. I can really sae he is my true love. i have nv loved anyone as much as i loved him..but sometimes when u noe the feeling ain't there anymore, its realli hard to continue.
He doesnt take the initiative to contact me. if doesnt treat me as nice as before. He puts his frens above everything else. He is insensitive and nv bother to find out whats wrong or humour me when im down. He juz leaves me alone to sulk. He always ask me how come i always noe what he is tinking...but he duno what im tinking. Even when comes to buying presents for me, he ask me to choose myself, he pay $! Tell me lorx, who wun sian?No surprises at all. Reason for doing so, he duno what i like. After so long, he can tell me dat. If he reali take notice to wat i say, it wun be hard to find out what i like at all. Our topics oso totally different. Im the more dreamy and emotional type who likes to talk about our relationship while he is the practical type who talks about nth but money..studies..etc.
Which ger dun wanna feel and be loved?
I used to tink i cannot live without him and its still the case now, but when its time to let go, you have to right?
Imagine u have to be the one taking initiatives, planning surprises etc. Im the girl leh, it shld be the guy's job doing all dis kinda stuff. im reali tired. Even if does bother to come humour me..gives me promises, within 3 days, he is back to his same old self.
I tot to myself, its been 5yrs and we r already like dat...i reali cannot imagine myself leading dis kind of life when we get married. Its scary.
Yes, i noe 5yrs is a long time. we noe each other inside out already and its reali hard to start afresh with someone else becuz u have to noe n understand the person from scratch once more. But seriously, u wun be staying with him becuz of love. but out of habit. I want the feeling of being in love as well. Ive lost touch of that feeling already.
We dun hold hands when we go out, we dun behave like couples. The feeling now is dat we are more like very good frens.
i believe in fate. If we r reali meant to be together, no matter how far or how long, we will still end up together. Whats the point of being together side by side when the hearts r so far apart? -
Oh man! can understand how you feel man, seems like you had caused yourself to suffered so long man, really! how to handle this kinda relationship for life. I could understand why you been hanging on for so long because when you love a person so much, seeing him to heartlessly go off unaffected like it doesnt matter at all is so hurtful man! and you just keep wishing he will change alittle or care a little more just for you.
And doesnt even hold your hands thats so horrible too. For me, I think the most happiest and sweetest moment in a relationship is holding each others' hand. hehe even my papa and mama hold hands when they go park tall.
at least you get to choose your presents. My ex bf told me he no money and doesnt bother about getting me a gift at all. I used to felt like I am the guy and so tired pampering him, planning where to go all that also, I am the one who buy gifts for him also. I been hurting myself each time I try to hold on or bring back relationship, now I think I have to let go too. Life goes on perfectly even without him just that you have to kick the habit of seeing his face again.
I am sure You will be better off and happier without him now. Like you said about fate, someday he will/may think back and regret on what he had missed in his life, a girl who had loved him so much, but he didnt treasure it. Hope you will know what to do already now. take care~ -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:
once or twice is ok. But everytime? its not as if i nv told him what i like in the 1st place. If he reali did bothered to listen to me when we go shopping...the things i pass little comments on..its really not hard at all. and if for the past 5yrs, he dun even have the slightest idea of what i like, the relationship is reali a failure aint it?
3. Honestly, I would rather spare my bf the problem & let him know what I want rather than he buying the wrong thing. Please note: guys are NOT telepathic, they can't reach into your dreams & know exactly what you want! I thought there wasn't anything wrong with him wanting to pay for what YOU want... It's safer, rather than he trying his darnedest to buy something for you & you sulking because it's Not what you wanted.
FeowFeow
[/b] -
well, i have decided to let go. At least for the time being..to have time to reflect and think thru about the relationship...Originally posted by dcx:Well....stop it.....
Stop spinning....it's either head or tail...
You know what you want n what you dun want...
You've all the answers to all your questions in which the answers are from you....
So, it's either "Stay" or "Go".
As i said...if we are reali fated...we will end up together again... -
yes! exactly, i am like playing the role of the 'boyfriend' instead of the girlfriend. Im always the one doing things for him..n when i want something..he juz tells me he is tired...no time everything...sighz..Originally posted by Tier:Oh man! can understand how you feel man, seems like you had caused yourself to suffered so long man, really! how to handle this kinda relationship for life. I could understand why you been hanging on for so long because when you love a person so much, seeing him to heartlessly go off unaffected like it doesnt matter at all is so hurtful man! and you just keep wishing he will change alittle or care a little more just for you.
And doesnt even hold your hands thats so horrible too. For me, I think the most happiest and sweetest moment in a relationship is holding each others' hand. hehe even my papa and mama hold hands when they go park tall.
at least you get to choose your presents. My ex bf told me he no money and doesnt bother about getting me a gift at all. I used to felt like I am the guy and so tired pampering him, planning where to go all that also, I am the one who buy gifts for him also. I been hurting myself each time I try to hold on or bring back relationship, now I think I have to let go too. Life goes on perfectly even without him just that you have to kick the habit of seeing his face again.
I am sure You will be better off and happier without him now. Like you said about fate, someday he will/may think back and regret on what he had missed in his life, a girl who had loved him so much, but he didnt treasure it. Hope you will know what to do already now. take care~ -
ask him one day, "what will you do if one day i am not around anymore?" see how he respond. my gut feeling is, either he doesnt love you at all, or he is taking you for granted.
if its the first case, it's time to say good bye.
if it's the second case, you have to electricute him from his ass and demand its his turn to pamper you and make him see that you are really tired of this one-way r/s. if he still doesnt buck up, well.. it will just mean he doesnt love you anymore, so that'll be going to the first case. if he does, then good for you...
in a r/s, you cannot be the only one who is giving. you have to learn how to prompt him to give. some guys just need that shock in the butt to wake up their idea... -
i asked before...n many times to be exact. his reply varies with each time..'i cannot do anything oso'...'cry lor'...'die die dun let go lor'...u noe..dat type of superficial answers...dat u duno which is the truth? but i can tell u...he will get over it in no time...if i really leave him...maybe he does love me...but juz dat...im not so important compared to other things in his life...im like can have..can dun have to him...Originally posted by starblue:ask him one day, "what will you do if one day i am not around anymore?" see how he respond. my gut feeling is, either he doesnt love you at all, or he is taking you for granted.
Even if he did promise to pamper n stuff...he will be back to the same old him within 3 days...sae until i sian oso..sae until dun wanna sae le cuz i noe it will be the same... -
Mmm...Originally posted by sand85:yes! exactly, i am like playing the role of the 'boyfriend' instead of the girlfriend. Im always the one doing things for him..n when i want something..he juz tells me he is tired...no time everything...sighz..
-
Fate... Mmm...Originally posted by sand85:hey pple...thanx for ur time n advices...this is reali long...
We broke n patched a few times, but its mostly becuz i begged him not to go. Very useless i noe. I tink im the most useless girl ever. I cant seem to let go. Im always the one hanging on. i nv had the courage to reali leave him. I also had this tinking..5yrs liao..so long liao..break very wasted. But den, i dun wan the rest of the yrs to continue like dat.
i have been thinking thru many a times throughout our relationship.
Frens have been telling me that he is not good enuf for me frm the day i started out with him. But we still managed to walk this long path together. I can really sae he is my true love. i have nv loved anyone as much as i loved him..but sometimes when u noe the feeling ain't there anymore, its realli hard to continue.
He doesnt take the initiative to contact me. if doesnt treat me as nice as before. He puts his frens above everything else. He is insensitive and nv bother to find out whats wrong or humour me when im down. He juz leaves me alone to sulk. He always ask me how come i always noe what he is tinking...but he duno what im tinking. Even when comes to buying presents for me, he ask me to choose myself, he pay $! Tell me lorx, who wun sian?No surprises at all. Reason for doing so, he duno what i like. After so long, he can tell me dat. If he reali take notice to wat i say, it wun be hard to find out what i like at all. Our topics oso totally different. Im the more dreamy and emotional type who likes to talk about our relationship while he is the practical type who talks about nth but money..studies..etc.
Which ger dun wanna feel and be loved?
I used to tink i cannot live without him and its still the case now, but when its time to let go, you have to right?
Imagine u have to be the one taking initiatives, planning surprises etc. Im the girl leh, it shld be the guy's job doing all dis kinda stuff. im reali tired. Even if does bother to come humour me..gives me promises, within 3 days, he is back to his same old self.
I tot to myself, its been 5yrs and we r already like dat...i reali cannot imagine myself leading dis kind of life when we get married. Its scary.
Yes, i noe 5yrs is a long time. we noe each other inside out already and its reali hard to start afresh with someone else becuz u have to noe n understand the person from scratch once more. But seriously, u wun be staying with him becuz of love. but out of habit. I want the feeling of being in love as well. Ive lost touch of that feeling already.
We dun hold hands when we go out, we dun behave like couples. The feeling now is dat we are more like very good frens.
i believe in fate. If we r reali meant to be together, no matter how far or how long, we will still end up together. Whats the point of being together side by side when the hearts r so far apart?
Fate is when somethig comes knocking your head and ya keep pushing it away...?
Anyway... 5 years is a pretty long time (at least for you?)... You're only around 20 this year and the age which you've started this relationship should be around 15...?
Not seen any better guys before is not really that surprising for your relationship at 15...? And even if you've got into any relationship before, how many '5 years' ones do you expect to have...?
5 years.. It's not strange for you to feel that you're starting to feel like 'friends' at the same time... And if you've learn to appreciate that, you'll actually understand that that actually ain't such a bad thing..? In fact, could be something very much desired by some others...? You can never expect a relationship to be burning with 'SPARKS' all the time...? If you do, you might just be one who's better off for short-terms relationships...?
Can't live with someone with no 'sparks'...? No 'life' in your relationship...? Well, DO SOMETHING about IT!! Don't always WAIT for your bf...?? And just when ya thought it's something 'man' should do, perhaps you would be much more disappointed with the world out there...? Of course, I'm not saying that such guys don't exist.. But even when they do, they won't necccessarily be suitable for you....?
And your bf... NICE in SOME WAYS, BUT don't do this and that... And this and that...? And HEY, PERHAPS it'll be BETTER TO LEAVE HIM...?? (Like you've already DECIDED..??) Well... Then again, maybe not? Hmm... Your BF... Think I 'know' him...? Mmm.. Familar... HEY!!! HEY!! Ain't he just ANY TOPICAL GUY OUT THERE...?? I MEAN... SERIOUSLY... Which guy is PERFECT...?? NOBODY IS... Are you SURE you'll be getting BETTER..?? Anyway... You're STILL YOUNG... No harm telling yeah...??
Hmm.. How often you chat around with people...? More mature than you...? Of your same gender...? 20.... How many more '5 years' you'll get...?
PERHAPS it'll just be BETTER...? To appreciate GREEN GRASS when you're OUT in the COLD WORLD...? -
Never loved anyone like that b4.....that's wat you will say when you eventually meet someone who really loves and appreciate you. He doesn't call...got no initiative. To me, its a hint that he wants to end it.
Free yourself from this misery. A lot of other guys waiting for gals anxiously, we guys are shy also ok. You will take time to 4get this guy....and when the right one comes....you feel that you are ready again. -
ok.... so what have you done or plan to do???Originally posted by sand85:well, i have decided to let go. At least for the time being..to have time to reflect and think thru about the relationship...
As i said...if we are reali fated...we will end up together again... -
Sand......the way u describe ur bf is just like my bf...SOBS. omg..
sniff...i understand how u feel...
to leave or stay?
Sigh....
*hugs* -
i have decided to leave..i will see how things go from here. i dun believe i cannot find anyone better than him..seriously. I've been stuck for so long..time for me to move on right? Its only when u experience new n different things...den u will reflect which type of life u realli prefer right? sighz..maybe it turns out that he is still the one for me...but whether we will be together again..its another issue...Originally posted by babyreyes:Sand......the way u describe ur bf is just like my bf...SOBS. omg..
sniff...i understand how u feel...
to leave or stay?
Sigh....
*hugs* -
Then your decision shouldn't be hard to make, right?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by sand85:once or twice is ok. But everytime? its not as if i nv told him what i like in the 1st place. If he reali did bothered to listen to me when we go shopping...the things i pass little comments on..its really not hard at all. and if for the past 5yrs, he dun even have the slightest idea of what i like, the relationship is reali a failure aint it? -
i dun see the point if im the one initiating everything..its not the kind of life i want. I wanna pursue wat i desire...even if i failed..at least i tried before..rather than stick on and juz being in the relationship for the sake of being in one actually.Originally posted by Devil1976:Fate... Mmm...
Not seen any better guys before is not really that surprising for your relationship at 15...? And even if you've got into any relationship before, how many '5 years' ones do you expect to have...?
5 years.. It's not strange for you to feel that you're starting to feel like 'friends' at the same time... And if you've learn to appreciate that, you'll actually understand that that actually ain't such a bad thing..? In fact, could be something very much desired by some others...? You can never expect a relationship to be burning with 'SPARKS' all the time...? If you do, you might just be one who's better off for short-terms relationships...?
Can't live with someone with no 'sparks'...? No 'life' in your relationship...? Well, DO SOMETHING about IT!! Don't always WAIT for your bf...?? And just when ya thought it's something 'man' should do, perhaps you would be much more disappointed with the world out there...? Of course, I'm not saying that such guys don't exist.. But even when they do, they won't necccessarily be suitable for you....?
And your bf... NICE in SOME WAYS, BUT don't do this and that... And this and that...? And HEY, PERHAPS it'll be BETTER TO LEAVE HIM...?? (Like you've already DECIDED..??) Well... Then again, maybe not? Hmm... Your BF... Think I 'know' him...? Mmm.. Familar... HEY!!! HEY!! Ain't he just ANY TOPICAL GUY OUT THERE...?? I MEAN... SERIOUSLY... Which guy is PERFECT...?? NOBODY IS... Are you SURE you'll be getting BETTER..?? Anyway... You're STILL YOUNG... No harm telling yeah...??
Hmm.. How often you chat around with people...? More mature than you...? Of your same gender...? 20.... How many more '5 years' you'll get...?
PERHAPS it'll just be BETTER...? To appreciate GREEN GRASS when you're OUT in the COLD WORLD...?
Sometimes when love becomes frenship, its very difficult to go back to love again..get wat i mean? we will juz be like frens n buddy.As i said...maybe majority of the guys out there are like him...bt at least the minority still exist...n if i could give it a shot..den i would noe wat reali suits me right?juz like u only eat rice in ur entire life..n u tink you love rice..but how do u noe wat noodles taste like when u nv tried? it might juz taste better right?i mean different pple different case...
im not looking for the 'perfect' guy..i noe no one is perfect..which applies to me..but juz finding someone who can complement each other?wat for continue when u c the relationship reaching a roundabout..where everything happens again and again right?
And since he said it was very hard for him to change...den y not let me try go find someone like dat?instead of me everytime complaining about him here and there.he not happy..im not happy too...
even if we continue for another 5yrs..n realise tat..hey..we really cannot hold on anymore...which will be worse?we have totally wasted 10yrs of our time..finding out dat we realli dun suit each other..n blame each other for the time spent? at least we r still young nw..y not juz go n gain new experience? -
Hmm.. Somehow expected you to give this sort of answer...?Originally posted by sand85:i dun see the point if im the one initiating everything..its not the kind of life i want. I wanna pursue wat i desire...even if i failed..at least i tried before..rather than stick on and juz being in the relationship for the sake of being in one actually.
Sometimes when love becomes frenship, its very difficult to go back to love again..get wat i mean? we will juz be like frens n buddy.As i said...maybe majority of the guys out there are like him...bt at least the minority still exist...n if i could give it a shot..den i would noe wat reali suits me right?juz like u only eat rice in ur entire life..n u tink you love rice..but how do u noe wat noodles taste like when u nv tried? it might juz taste better right?i mean different pple different case...
im not looking for the 'perfect' guy..i noe no one is perfect..which applies to me..but juz finding someone who can complement each other?wat for continue when u c the relationship reaching a roundabout..where everything happens again and again right?
And since he said it was very hard for him to change...den y not let me try go find someone like dat?instead of me everytime complaining about him here and there.he not happy..im not happy too...
even if we continue for another 5yrs..n realise tat..hey..we really cannot hold on anymore...which will be worse?we have totally wasted 10yrs of our time..finding out dat we realli dun suit each other..n blame each other for the time spent? at least we r still young nw..y not juz go n gain new experience?
Refer back to your 1st post... I know your decision probably won't bother you much because you feel that this is the only right thing to do... Just that at this point where you have to look into your bf of 5 years in the eyes and tell him "let's end it...".... This part.. A little tricky even for someone like you...?
'Courage' is not a question here as you've already know what has to be done for yourself... Courage or no courage, the problem would still have to be mentioned and pop up.... In his eyes, it probably won't make much of a difference if 'courage' is there for you or not....?
I know you probably don't believe in this but nonetheless... What's his star sign?