Have you ever felt this way before?
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You and this gal/guy on close terms.Both of you feel comfortable and enjoy each other's company.But you do not have special feelings for her/him.Maybe a bit of latent feelings bah.
What happened in the end?
For me,I am in this situation.I don't know whether I should jio her for V-Day.If I do,I am crossing the line already right? -
haiz...exactly what happened between me and one of my closest guy frens.
I liked him more than a friend, he only sees me as a sister or his best friend.
We can spend hours talking about anything, and have done many things together...there is this level of familiarity that is hard to find with my other guy friends...
I told him that I liked him, but too bad he said he cannot see me as more than friends...but we remain close friends until now
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one of them has a secret agenda.
eventually will go on separate ways. -
I feel the same way.I just can't find myself cultivating feelings for her.Yes,don't have the magical word "Chemistry".You can condemm me for saying this if you want,but I think it is because there are certain things about her that is not appealing to me.Originally posted by rainee:haiz...exactly what happened between me and one of my closest guy frens.
I liked him more than a friend, he only sees me as a sister or his best friend.
We can spend hours talking about anything, and have done many things together...there is this level of familiarity that is hard to find with my other guy friends...
I told him that I liked him, but too bad he said he cannot see me as more than friends...but we remain close friends until now
1.She is too short for me.
2.Her looks are not my type.Not that she is fat and pimply,far from it.She is pleasant looking,mind you.(It is like I won't give Fann Wong a second look on TV even though she is pretty,just that she not my type)
3.Her behaviour is quite unfeminine.Speaks loudly and very dramatic in her gesticulating.(I think this is the main factor)
But then the gals I have chemistry(in the past) with don't like me...
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So you mean you don't feel any chemistry with her?Originally posted by Marco_Simone:I feel the same way.I just can't find myself cultivating feelings for her.Yes,the magical word "Chemistry".
But then the gals I have chemistry(in the past) with don't like me...
I guess you are not to blame...one can't force another to love. I realize this after he told me that he couldn't be more than friends with me, and hence I moved on and wished him happiness with the right girl.
I guess going out with her on v-Day is fine, cos friends do go out on that day too. And who knows what might happen? Do you think there is a chance you might like her in the future? If you think there really isn't, then make it clear to her. -
Maybe she feels the same way towards me also.Originally posted by Marco_Simone:I feel the same way.I just can't find myself cultivating feelings for her.Yes,don't have the magical word "Chemistry".You can condemm me for saying this if you want,but I think it is because there are certain things about her that is not appealing to me.
1.She is too short for me.
2.Her looks are not my type.Not that she is fat and pimply,far from it.She is pleasant looking,mind you.(It is like I won't give Fann Wong a second look on TV even though she is pretty,just that she not my type)
3.Her behaviour is quite unfeminine.Speaks loudly and very dramatic in her gesticulating.(I think this is the main factor)
But then the gals I have chemistry(in the past) with don't like me...
1.He is too tall for me.
2.His looks are not my type.Not that he is fat and pimply.He is pleasant looking,mind you.Just not my type of looks.
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Don't blame yourself for not having any feelings for her. Just like I have said in my earlier post, one can't force another to loveOriginally posted by Marco_Simone:I feel the same way.I just can't find myself cultivating feelings for her.Yes,don't have the magical word "Chemistry".You can condemm me for saying this if you want,but I think it is because there are certain things about her that is not appealing to me.
1.She is too short for me.
2.Her looks are not my type.Not that she is fat and pimply,far from it.She is pleasant looking,mind you.(It is like I won't give Fann Wong a second look on TV even though she is pretty,just that she not my type)
3.Her behaviour is quite unfeminine.Speaks loudly and very dramatic in her gesticulating.(I think this is the main factor)
But then the gals I have chemistry(in the past) with don't like me...
I guess you are pretty certain that you can't be more than friends with her? So don't lead her on or anything ba...cos it can be quite hard for the girl later on. You can go out with her and spend time together, since it is not easy to find someone you are comfortable with. But must make it clear to her that you just see her as a good friend, and nothing else -
If she treats you that way oso, isn't it the best for both parties?Originally posted by Marco_Simone:Maybe she feels the same way towards me also.
1.He is too tall for me.
2.His looks are not my type.Not that he is fat and pimply.He is pleasant looking,mind you.Just not my type of looks.
So she has never given you any signs that she wants both of you to be more than frens rite? -
u must go out on V day ah?
Not sure then dont run the risk of miscommunication la -
Or ask her out together with other friends?
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yes a month ago but after some thinking then i reallize it's much more better to remain as best friends.Originally posted by Marco_Simone:You and this gal/guy on close terms.Both of you feel comfortable and enjoy each other's company.But you do not have special feelings for her/him.Maybe a bit of latent feelings bah.
What happened in the end?
For me,I am in this situation.I don't know whether I should jio her for V-Day.If I do,I am crossing the line already right?
THings turn out v diff when u 2 becomes couple
Especially 4 years of close friendship, 2 close to b couple, get wat i mean? -
sometimes, when one blurt out that there is love, it might even spoil the whole friendship.
Its platonic relationship between guy and gal..
I think best friend can also come from opposite sex. But try not to be too close, because being veri good frens and love is a thin line. Unless yr gal friend are those buddy buddy types lah....
If not, both parties are attached...then being close frens might not be a prob(unless your own partner minds)
BTW, regarding asking her out on valentine day, i think you might have fall for her, even if its a tiny winy bit of love. Actually, you never know if she also have likings for you too right?
Some pp takes years before they come together...
Jus ask if she has plans for that day, and if she doesnt, ask if she wants to go out dinner with you lor..see how she reacts...if she says NO or something awakward, try to lighten the mood by saying "joking lah" or " i tot you might be too bored"...
If you still have reserve for it, i suggest you dun ask her. Instead, just send a a bouquet of flower on that day... -
haiz... izzit reali true that if b frenz too long it's hard to develop to bcme couples in the end??Originally posted by FBI:yes a month ago but after some thinking then i reallize it's much more better to remain as best friends.
THings turn out v diff when u 2 becomes couple
Especially 4 years of close friendship, 2 close to b couple, get wat i mean?
i gt a similiar case... know her for about a month... decides to initiate after feeling that she felt the same... she hesitated slightly... ponders for a few days... then decides its a bit too fast... say shld be frenx then c hw 1st... now we are still frenz ... been like almost 5 months...
reali agree that things turn out to b different when two bcmes a couple... you can tell whether you two can b a good couple jux by being frenz to get to know each other... will end up as jux frenz i guess... -
If it is meant to be, it will beOriginally posted by falling_stars:haiz... izzit reali true that if b frenz too long it's hard to develop to bcme couples in the end??
i gt a similiar case... know her for about a month... decides to initiate after feeling that she felt the same... she hesitated slightly... ponders for a few days... then decides its a bit too fast... say shld be frenx then c hw 1st... now we are still frenz ... been like almost 5 months...
reali agree that things turn out to b different when two bcmes a couple... you can tell whether you two can b a good couple jux by being frenz to get to know each other... will end up as jux frenz i guess...
usually for guys, there seems to be this level of familiarity, and once you cross over to that level, they will say that they will start seeing you as one of his close buddies instead of a girl. -
sometimes it's better to b friends.Originally posted by falling_stars:haiz... izzit reali true that if b frenz too long it's hard to develop to bcme couples in the end??
i gt a similiar case... know her for about a month... decides to initiate after feeling that she felt the same... she hesitated slightly... ponders for a few days... then decides its a bit too fast... say shld be frenx then c hw 1st... now we are still frenz ... been like almost 5 months...
reali agree that things turn out to b different when two bcmes a couple... you can tell whether you two can b a good couple jux by being frenz to get to know each other... will end up as jux frenz i guess...
Sometimes not.
Depends on the cupid.
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Not say friends cannot become couple what. Sometimes it just need a special occasion, then you see each other in a different way all of a sudden.
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So I like her, and she's sort of warming up to me right now, and I'm not sure if I should take one step forward and behave in a more hinting fashion..
I can't read her mind, but certain actions are tell-tale, however, it could also be me, because I tend to be quite sensitive to cues, maybe overly so. -
i crossed the line once and today we cant even be friends at allOriginally posted by Marco_Simone:You and this gal/guy on close terms.Both of you feel comfortable and enjoy each other's company.But you do not have special feelings for her/him.Maybe a bit of latent feelings bah.
What happened in the end?
For me,I am in this situation.I don't know whether I should jio her for V-Day.If I do,I am crossing the line already right? -
sounds to me, you have "made up" your mindOriginally posted by Marco_Simone:I feel the same way.I just can't find myself cultivating feelings for her.Yes,don't have the magical word "Chemistry".You can condemm me for saying this if you want,but I think it is because there are certain things about her that is not appealing to me.
1.She is too short for me.
2.Her looks are not my type.Not that she is fat and pimply,far from it.She is pleasant looking,mind you.(It is like I won't give Fann Wong a second look on TV even though she is pretty,just that she not my type)
3.Her behaviour is quite unfeminine.Speaks loudly and very dramatic in her gesticulating.(I think this is the main factor)
But then the gals I have chemistry(in the past) with don't like me... -
I have the same feeling too. I'm close to a gal and I get to know her as she's one of my colleagues. After sometime of understanding, we began to chat and talk about anything that can come to our minds. We would spent hours talking or sms each other on each other's work and some other personal issues.Originally posted by rainee:haiz...exactly what happened between me and one of my closest guy frens.
I liked him more than a friend, he only sees me as a sister or his best friend.
We can spend hours talking about anything, and have done many things together...there is this level of familiarity that is hard to find with my other guy friends...
I told him that I liked him, but too bad he said he cannot see me as more than friends...but we remain close friends until now
After few months, I found that I've actually fallen for her. I kept my feelings and still treat her as friends. Sometimes I can surpress my feelings and at times it can get out of control.
I've express my feelings and made it known to her. Initially she's shocked. We still talk as usual till few days ago, she began to ignore me when I visited her at her work place. I sense that there's something which she do not want to tell me. Then I found out that one of her work colleagues spread rumours about me telling everyone that I love her very much! Till now she still ignore me and it really pains me seeing her treating me like this for things I've never done! To be maligned by other ppl, I won't find it hurtful but if the gal that misunderstands you just by listening to other ppl who say about things which are untrue, it's worse. -
it happened to me once...he was a good friend of mine and he fell in love with me. i liked him a lot, guess i even loved him a little but he was always more like a brother to me. eventually we started dating...and broke up about a year later.
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You mean you have no interest for her and you're still going to jio her out purposely on Valentine's DayOriginally posted by Marco_Simone:You and this gal/guy on close terms.Both of you feel comfortable and enjoy each other's company.But you do not have special feelings for her/him.Maybe a bit of latent feelings bah.
What happened in the end?
For me,I am in this situation.I don't know whether I should jio her for V-Day.If I do,I am crossing the line already right?
Can't you choose just any OTHER day...? -
YES.Originally posted by Devil1976:You mean you have no interest for her and you're still going to jio her out purposely on Valentine's Day
Can't you choose just any OTHER day...?
Well,we see each other quite often each week anyway.V-day is also friendship day right? -
Since you said it is friendship day, then why think so much?Originally posted by Marco_Simone:YES.
Well,we see each other quite often each week anyway.V-day is also friendship day right?
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ha le lu ya.. bro..