Hey people,
my story goes like this...

i have a girlfriend, we've been together for about 4mths+. but she isnt commited to this relationship. i remember when we first knew each other for not long, she was quite crazy about me.. being very sensitive.. now she rarely is... she replies for my msgs are often short and she doesnt ask much about me.. though i told her about some of my probs, she never asked me about how it is the next day or so.. her conversations with me are short, i've asked her to come out a couple of times but she always says she's lazy or tired.. wats more is that there's another guy who like her as well and he's waiting patiently for her.. and... u know wat my worst nightmare would be... she went out with him to get his new year clothes and i can understand that. but i saw her when she was on her way back and she wore contacts... she never wore contacts when she's out with me.. and she never talked or smile to me when she sees me.. i asked if she was going back and she just nod her head..

Now, i'm living through quite painful days.. failing to get her attention. i've talked to her a few times abt her being not responsive and she often give s me a word of sorry. it hurts me to hear that.. and now i dont really wana confront her again.. i dont like to hear that sorry... feels like we're strangers.. she very rarely ask abt me in daily life, unless she's really in good mood.. and i'm feeling quite miserable...

maybe it’s time to move on?

she treating u like some backup or something.. dress up nicely go out wif the guy she likes den when wif u dress up normally..

*patpat* i understand hw u feel..

Originally posted by TidusX:

Hey people,
my story goes like this...

i have a girlfriend, we've been together for about 4mths+. but she isnt commited to this relationship. i remember when we first knew each other for not long, she was quite crazy about me.. being very sensitive.. now she rarely is... she replies for my msgs are often short and she doesnt ask much about me.. though i told her about some of my probs, she never asked me about how it is the next day or so.. her conversations with me are short, i've asked her to come out a couple of times but she always says she's lazy or tired.. wats more is that there's another guy who like her as well and he's waiting patiently for her.. and... u know wat my worst nightmare would be... she went out with him to get his new year clothes and i can understand that. but i saw her when she was on her way back and she wore contacts... she never wore contacts when she's out with me.. and she never talked or smile to me when she sees me.. i asked if she was going back and she just nod her head..

Now, i'm living through quite painful days.. failing to get her attention. i've talked to her a few times abt her being not responsive and she often give s me a word of sorry. it hurts me to hear that.. and now i dont really wana confront her again.. i dont like to hear that sorry... feels like we're strangers.. she very rarely ask abt me in daily life, unless she's really in good mood.. and i'm feeling quite miserable...

Hey dude u do have a serious problem here. From her actions i can say that her feelings for u are fading fast.

U made a few mistakes. U shdnt have asked her why she is not responsive. That sounds like begging her to respond to u. U are making her dislike u more. And u shdnt tell her ur problems. She's not ur mother. She's ur gf. If u want someone to share ur problems go talk to ur male friends or ur mother.

Once a woman's feelings for u are like that as u have mentioned, i believe it's almost game over.

Now what can u do now?

Wake up and find new gals in ur love life. Dun let her dictate ur life. And dun have to contact her. If she wants to go out with u dun give in so easily.

but we’re suppose to live through life together.. i believe we should share problems to each other and support each other to press on… i’ve been putting alot of effot into this and i think its abit too much.. i think its quite my fault that i’m over pushing it… but everything i do, it takes effort, it takes time… how can i let her understand this…

Originally posted by TidusX:

but we're suppose to live through life together.. i believe we should share problems to each other and support each other to press on... i've been putting alot of effot into this and i think its abit too much.. i think its quite my fault that i'm over pushing it... but everything i do, it takes effort, it takes time... how can i let her understand this...

If u put in effort she will know. but it's her feelings that she cares about..not urs.
So i think it's time to wake up from The Matrix that she puts into u.

i’m feeling very neglected now… how can i let her know this and not make her feel weird…

Move on, man.. Get another girl.. Maybe she felt that you are not ‘the one’ for her.

time to move on brother…

Originally posted by TidusX:

i'm feeling very neglected now... how can i let her know this and not make her feel weird...

This confirms that nice guys do not always get the gals.

U are being too nice. If u let her know how neglected u are, again it seems like u are seeking for her attention...which is the same as begging. Even if she knows abt this u are turning her off even more...and guess what? she doesnt care a hoot!

Wake up!

for those who are going to advise me to move on, please keep ur replies. because i’ve seen many girls and arent are like her… i never wanted to be involve in a relationship again until i know her.. i was quite a selfish guy, though she didnt practically but her actions taught me to be polite, taught me how to communicate properly and taught me how to treat myself better.. she’s just so special.. seen none like her…

Originally posted by TidusX:

for those who are going to advise me to move on, please keep ur replies. because i've seen many girls and arent are like her... i never wanted to be involve in a relationship again until i know her.. i was quite a selfish guy, though she didnt practically but her actions taught me to be polite, taught me how to communicate properly and taught me how to treat myself better.. she's just so special.. seen none like her...

that doesnt mean she's special isn't it? Is she very giving and selfless? and respects u a lot? If she respects u she wouldnt be going out with another guy.

Can u give me a few eg that suggests she is very different from other gals?

It seems as if u have been charmed by her jus becos she treats u well and that has clouded ur judgement.

No one is really at fault in romantic r/s. It's just that her feelings for u had faded.

Originally posted by TidusX:

Hey people,
my story goes like this...

i have a girlfriend, we've been together for about 4mths+. but she isnt commited to this relationship. i remember when we first knew each other for not long, she was quite crazy about me.. being very sensitive.. now she rarely is... she replies for my msgs are often short and she doesnt ask much about me.. though i told her about some of my probs, she never asked me about how it is the next day or so.. her conversations with me are short, i've asked her to come out a couple of times but she always says she's lazy or tired.. wats more is that there's another guy who like her as well and he's waiting patiently for her.. and... u know wat my worst nightmare would be... she went out with him to get his new year clothes and i can understand that. but i saw her when she was on her way back and she wore contacts... she never wore contacts when she's out with me.. and she never talked or smile to me when she sees me.. i asked if she was going back and she just nod her head..

Now, i'm living through quite painful days.. failing to get her attention. i've talked to her a few times abt her being not responsive and she often give s me a word of sorry. it hurts me to hear that.. and now i dont really wana confront her again.. i dont like to hear that sorry... feels like we're strangers.. she very rarely ask abt me in daily life, unless she's really in good mood.. and i'm feeling quite miserable...

ditch her serioulsy or u will suffer!

Originally posted by dokono:

that doesnt mean she's special isn't it? Is she very giving and selfless? and respects u a lot? If she respects u she wouldnt be going out with another guy.

Can u give me a few eg that suggests she is very different from other gals?

It seems as if u have been charmed by her jus becos she treats u well and that has clouded ur judgement.

No one is really at fault in romantic r/s. It's just that her feelings for u had faded.

Yo my friend.
Serious, keep your comments. Save it this time round.

There are many others like TidusX in this forum, you may talk sense; they may agree, but they don't want to wake up.

Give your advice to those who deserve to hear it. Otherwise, your lifespan in this forum will shorten. Believe me.

Cheers

She's extremely understanding, a sentance of explaination is all u need. she doesnt fall for flowers and gifts, sweet talk tricks.. she doesnt get stuck on u like other girls. even at the start of the relationship. but wats different is that when i first knew her, she wans to talk to me more.. and when i replied her msg abit late, she said she tout i ignored her.. and she still smiled.. but now, she can reply my msg an hr or 2 late and not initiate to tell me why.. its not tt impt to me actually, but i just wana see if she cares...
i play a sport.. she used to like watching me play it.. we're training in the same team.. but now, i never see her watching me.. but i do see her watching the other guy.. who is also in the team...

not every case is the same, why should i wake up when i havent been asleep. i do know wat i need, wat i dont.. maybe i havent given u a clearer picture of wats going on… though thats the best unbiased view i can give.. maybe i’m in the wrong somewhere.. i’d like to seek ur advice in making a remedy for it..

Originally posted by TidusX:

She's extremely understanding, a sentance of explaination is all u need. she doesnt fall for flowers and gifts, sweet talk tricks.. she doesnt get stuck on u like other girls. even at the start of the relationship. but wats different is that when i first knew her, she wans to talk to me more.. and when i replied her msg abit late, she said she tout i ignored her.. and she still smiled.. but now, she can reply my msg an hr or 2 late and not initiate to tell me why.. its not tt impt to me actually, but i just wana see if she cares...
i play a sport.. she used to like watching me play it.. we're training in the same team.. but now, i never see her watching me.. but i do see her watching the other guy.. who is also in the team...

thats why i tell u to ditch her

if u search my previous posts, i’ve posted about my prob with this same girl.. and again everyone told me to let go.. i held on and eventually, i got her hand… and now i hav a problem with her, i believe i can get it solved and move on.. what i need, would be ur advice to help me in my goal.. let me know if u were in my shoes, wat would u best do to hav a shot in gaining back her heart…

Originally posted by M©+square:

Yo my friend.
Serious, keep your comments. Save it this time round.

There are many others like TidusX in this forum, you may talk sense; they may agree, but they don't want to wake up.

Give your advice to those who deserve to hear it. Otherwise, your lifespan in this forum will shorten. Believe me.

Cheers

haha..point taken
if u dun knock some sense into them they will never wake up.

nevertheless, im jus providing a comment. he can choose to believe whoever he wants.

Ok the mod is warning me haha...

Originally posted by TidusX:

not every case is the same, why should i wake up when i havent been asleep. i do know wat i need, wat i dont.. maybe i havent given u a clearer picture of wats going on... though thats the best unbiased view i can give.. maybe i'm in the wrong somewhere.. i'd like to seek ur advice in making a remedy for it..

By the way you're defending her. It seems like you're willing to take all the blame for this relationship.

Do you know why your value dropped?
Do you understand why she changed?
Do you have any idea what caused the relationship to deteriorate?

When a person understand a certain principle in his thought, somewhere
along the line. He is more likely to accept sensible advices, not remedy, remedies are for people with helplessness and he will do anything to solve the present problem.

You know what you need, but what you need may not be the best for you.

No one is blaming her. Everyone is just asking you to move on so that you won't suffer.

Cheers

Originally posted by dokono:

haha..point taken
if u dun knock some sense into them they will never wake up.

nevertheless, im jus providing a comment. he can choose to believe whoever he wants.

Ok the mod is warning me haha...

Ah i somehow guess you will reply this way.
This was formally my style, to believe that people have the ability to come into their senses.
After some time in AA, the repetition of cases happened and trends became obvious.

I see you're really helpful that's why i called you a friend.
Not warning you, just to help you so that you can stay longer.

Cheers

to move on is to break up with her isnt it? wat if she eventually found she hav feelings for me… by know her personality, she wont come back for me… it means i’m going to break her heart.. for goodness sake, i’ve broken people’s heart before and i dont want to do it again…

abt the she wearing contact thing, maybe u can try calm urself down by thinking maybe she juz bought it den she was trying to get used to it for chinese new year?

i got a slight debative/self-denial brain in my head... so i am quite a mentally insecured guy..

we have training the very next day, she could try out on that day instead right? not wasting a pair just for an evening… she wears dailies…