Ashamed of a person with a shallow mind - Pls read
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Today at my campus I was finishing up a presentation report with my gal classmate at the study area near the carpark at around 5 plus, while waiting for my friend from SMU to fetch me back home. He arrived 10 minutes early, but another of my guy friends happened to tag along too. My gal classmate was feeling thirsty at this point, so she excused herself to go to the vending machine just around the corner. That loudmouth who happened to tag along assumed wrongly that she went to the washroom further down the corner and just blurted out loudly: " Wah that gal is so FAT, look at her I think she can squash a full-grown man... Wah I din noe u like to hang aroung fat gals nowadays haha"
Of course, needless to say, she overheard everything. She came over, packed up and ran off with wet eyes.
I was stunned. Really stunned. Because of that a nice friendship and working relationship may be lost
I called her just now intending to apologize on that guys's behalf but she did not answer. This is really terrible. I am ashamed of that loudmouth who has hurt and shattered a perfectly nice gal's self confidence. Of course I shouted at him to get lost and that I din wan to see him around my faculty again. He tired to apologize to me but i jus shrugged it off. I loathe shallow people like that.
Now I feel terribly sad for her. Hopefully I will get to see her and apologize to her on that jerk's behalf soon -
it's okie... smu are like that
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Guys tend to be a big mouth a bit.... U shall ask the guy to personally apologise to the gal.
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x2Originally posted by CannyOng:Guys tend to be a big mouth a bit.... U shall ask the guy to personally apologise to the gal. -
Perhaps try calling the gal again to explain to her lor
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too little, too late... ur friend has already hurt her, nothing can change the fact... some girls can be very sensitive and this may stay with her for a very long time. for some girls they start developing eating disorders. ur friend really is a jerk. why are u mixing with such a junkie for?
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Give that guy friend of yours 1x jialat jialat for being so insensitive and shallow and for jeapordising your relationship with another friend.
And demand that he goes up to the girl personally to give a full, unreserved apology. -
eh ? who shallow mind ?? the girl or the boy ?
if someone says u ugly means u ugly meh ? use brain la . didn't know smu students so insecure . zzzzz . -
wtf..well the guy is a real big idiot..maybe next time he fall in love with one himself den he noe..
but erm the girl also poor thing,though i hate to point out that if she can't handle mild criticism about her size..wait till she enter the corporate world..lagi jialat.. -
i think the issue is abt insensitivity. zzzzz!Originally posted by losers.inc:eh ? who shallow mind ?? the girl or the boy ?
if someone says u ugly means u ugly meh ? use brain la . didn't know smu students so insecure . zzzzz . -
dats not criticism.. dats insensitive & totally uncalled for. He could haf b.itch abt it when she's OUT of sight if he has such a big problem with the people his frens r hanging around with.Originally posted by stellazio:wtf..well the guy is a real big idiot..maybe next time he fall in love with one himself den he noe..
but erm the girl also poor thing,though i hate to point out that if she can't handle mild criticism about her size..wait till she enter the corporate world..lagi jialat.. -
erm...one more thing...that dude who blew his mouth,if he is genuinely sorry then you should forgive him...unless you dont believe in 2nd chances
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criticism be it cynical or not..is a part of insensitivity..Originally posted by Camellias4me:dats not criticism.. dats insensitive & totally uncalled for. He could haf b.itch abt it when she's OUT of sight if he has such a big problem with the people his frens r hanging around with.
if u wana to criticize also can put it in a nice way de to not hurt the person feelings.. -
I dun think I wanna continue being the friend of such an immature and insensitive personOriginally posted by ironoxideman:erm...one more thing...that dude who blew his mouth,if he is genuinely sorry then you should forgive him...unless you dont believe in 2nd chances
I'm really worried for the gal now...Apparently her good fren whom I also know cannot contact her -
To criticize is to find fault/merits, analyse & evaluate on room for improvement openly. In dis case.. he made a biased remark against dat gal behind her. Anyway, who does he think he is? Wat makes him think he can act a critic?Originally posted by stellazio:criticism be it cynical or not..is a part of insensitivity..
if u wana to criticize also can put it in a nice way de to not hurt the person feelings.. -
Send sms.. apologise & move on to other subject. Try not to harp on the issue. Don't think she wants to be reminded of dat incident?Originally posted by Delta 5:I dun think I wanna continue being the friend of such an immature and insensitive person
I'm really worried for the gal now...Apparently her good fren whom I also know cannot contact her -
Write a personalised letter and pass it to her or something? She may read it, if she doesn't want to answer your call. Then explain in your message that your friend was just joking and wasn't meant to mean it so seriously, then ask her not to take it to heart. 1 comment doesn't mean anything.
Just as you want her to talk to u and befriend u again, she would need to give u and ur fren a 2nd chance, and if she does that, u should also give ur fren a 2nd chance too... then ask her to bury the hatchet or something... -
Try to contact the girl and comfort her bah. But then, it would be like a double edged sword, depending on what kind of person she is.
Oh well, what will be will be I guess. -
Delta,
1st & foremost, yes, I totally agree that the loudmouth was totally insensitive & had behaved in a most appalling manner. However, I am perplexed as to why you have to apologise since it's Not your fault, & what he expressed was Not what you would've said at all.
My guess is that the girl is feeling so humiliated that she can't even talk about it now. Perhaps the best thing you can do is to leave her be for a few days so that she is Not reminded of it.
When she's calmed down sufficiently, then if she still refuses to answer your calls, you may wanna drop her an email or SMS, saying something like this: I understand that you felt hurt by that a**hole's comment about you. But I have a feeling that you're also avoiding me because of what he's said. Please understand that I do NOT share his views, & what matters to me is that you're a very nice girl. Please don't penalise me because of another idiot's views, when I don't agree with him at all.
Then see what her response is?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Delta 5:Today at my campus I was finishing up a presentation report with my gal classmate at the study area near the carpark at around 5 plus, while waiting for my friend from SMU to fetch me back home. He arrived 10 minutes early, but another of my guy friends happened to tag along too. My gal classmate was feeling thirsty at this point, so she excused herself to go to the vending machine just around the corner. That loudmouth who happened to tag along assumed wrongly that she went to the washroom further down the corner and just blurted out loudly: " Wah that gal is so FAT, look at her I think she can squash a full-grown man... Wah I din noe u like to hang aroung fat gals nowadays haha"
Of course, needless to say, she overheard everything. She came over, packed up and ran off with wet eyes.
I was stunned. Really stunned. Because of that a nice friendship and working relationship may be lost I called her just now intending to apologize on that guys's behalf but she did not answer. This is really terrible. I am ashamed of that loudmouth who has hurt and shattered a perfectly nice gal's self confidence. Of course I shouted at him to get lost and that I din wan to see him around my faculty again. He tired to apologize to me but i jus shrugged it off. I loathe shallow people like that.
Now I feel terribly sad for her. Hopefully I will get to see her and apologize to her on that jerk's behalf soon -
Double post deleted by FeowFeow. Refer below .
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[Unconstructive post deleted by FeowFeow]
Poster says that he sucks. . -
Delta 5
If this girl had any sense she'd know better than to blame you for what happened. I can only hope she takes some time to get over it and things gradually return to normal. In the meantime a funny / encouraging SMS could show that you care. Something in the line of "Hey sorry about the other day, he's a jerk for not recognising what a nice person you are. Don't let that a-hole get you down! Hope to see you around soon." -
i understand how the girl feels.. but its not your fault. you were not the one who said it.Originally posted by Delta 5:Today at my campus I was finishing up a presentation report with my gal classmate at the study area near the carpark at around 5 plus, while waiting for my friend from SMU to fetch me back home. He arrived 10 minutes early, but another of my guy friends happened to tag along too. My gal classmate was feeling thirsty at this point, so she excused herself to go to the vending machine just around the corner. That loudmouth who happened to tag along assumed wrongly that she went to the washroom further down the corner and just blurted out loudly: " Wah that gal is so FAT, look at her I think she can squash a full-grown man... Wah I din noe u like to hang aroung fat gals nowadays haha"
Of course, needless to say, she overheard everything. She came over, packed up and ran off with wet eyes.
I was stunned. Really stunned. Because of that a nice friendship and working relationship may be lost I called her just now intending to apologize on that guys's behalf but she did not answer. This is really terrible. I am ashamed of that loudmouth who has hurt and shattered a perfectly nice gal's self confidence. Of course I shouted at him to get lost and that I din wan to see him around my faculty again. He tired to apologize to me but i jus shrugged it off. I loathe shallow people like that.
Now I feel terribly sad for her. Hopefully I will get to see her and apologize to her on that jerk's behalf soon -
ur fren is really an insensitive moron.
show him this thread.
doesnt matter whether that girl who went to washroom is ur fren or not, it's just NOT RIGHT to say people like that. -
buy her a gift or sorry card, or sms her...
dun just let the matter go....a lot of people do not do anything, end up friendships are lost....
so you better do something.....AND ask your friend's friend to apologise personally to the girl!!!