Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.

He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.

But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.

I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.

We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done

What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de?? Please help!

sad thing to hear but this happens so often…. but your bf dun deserve u by using vulgarities in front fo u n at u…. seriously he totally lost respect for u… even if honeymoon period over oso dun like tat… from ur story even ur fren dun seem to b hapi for u with him around so u should take some advice… nothing wrong being a beng but even beng knows how to treat gals n tis guy reali dun deserve ur devotion… u r still young n hv a bright future so no need to stick around tis guy… instead there r more better guys who r willing to give u better love n care so time to make a stand n leave tis sorrow relationship…

Originally posted by shining*star:

Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.

He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.

But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.

I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.

We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done

What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de?? Please help!

Honestly speaking,this is a sad plight.My suggestion would be getting his friends to change or influence him for the better.

I assume that you are in your 20's and working.Therefore,the boyfriend you have at your age should be of a good calibre to be a husband.If he is vulgar and coarse with words now,there's no guarentee that he'll stop using it in future.Who knows what the future holds?

Assess him from this day onwards and drop hints that you are fed up with it so that he'll catch the hint and understand why you are annoyed with his attitude.Make arrangement for the debt to be settled because 3k isn't a small amount at all if you want him to pay up the money he owes you.

Do you want yourself to have a long term suffering or short term pain? If you are looking for alternatives other then breakup..the first step is to get him to change.

Originally posted by shining*star:

Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.

He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.

But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.

I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.

We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done

What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de?? Please help!

Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?YES

to cut off all relations is something you have choosen.....when you take a path ......do not look back........time doesn't wait for anyone

oh forgot to say this......most guys in singa have been through army.....and in the army...they grill you with the words like fcuk and all those crude languages.......so just listen ....but do not take to heart.....move on in life........life doesn't just stall and freeze there due to a relation......

look at it this way......at least you have learnt a new experience.......to look at all people with care .......look not at the physical appearances.....for many come in deceiving cloaks.........inner beauty is more precious.........

are you the sort who seek out this kind of bad boys. Then this is a deep seated issue with yourself. You need to find out why you go towards this kinds of guys.
You should know you should leave such kinds of unhealthy relationships.

who do you really want for a guy and what do you really want right now and in the future. Don't waste your time with bad arses.

its not fair at all to u, u are giving it all at your side but whats has he done for u ?
nothing at all, instead , hes treating u so harshly. its just not what a bf is supposed to do. get into a talk with him. make it clear what u want and ask him what he wants.

I don’t really know much about this kinda stuff, but I think you should cut your losses before things really get out of hand. Unless you find that his good side will tremendously out weigh his badself.

Originally posted by shining*star:

Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.

He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.

But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.

I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.

We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done

What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de?? Please help!

hi ss,
life's always full of such encounters and it would have to leave onto you to make a decision which is best for yourself...

1st of all, your parent has shown their disapproval on your relationship...

If he's lowly educated, i believe it shld be ok n takes abit for time for your parent to accept him n your relationship (Provided he has to take this relationship seriously and plan for his future). You shld know very well that in the modern society of Spore, paper value places an important part in our lives. Do you wanna live a comfortable life or do you wanna slog thru your life?

*I'm not looking down on those lowly educated ppl, but it's a painful fact that they have to face the reality in order to lead a comfortable life in Spore. And when i meant by comfortable life, it means that there's no need to worry abt financial difficulties. Your parent, for sure do not want their daughter to slog thru her life.

2ndly. why does he want to borrow money from you? 3k is not a very big amount of money, but is definetely very useful when you'll to need it. To you, it may sounds alright for lending money to your bf whom you love very much...but not returning back your money which he owned you is not right.

3rdly, if he can scold you vulgarities now, what makes you think that he won't beat you up in another year's time? Imagine yourself in one more year's time... (You've only been with him for less than 2yrs n looks like he doesn't cherish you...)

Your friends, for your own sake n well being, are giving you good advices...Of coz, it doesn't come easy for you to break it up with him coz you're a very affectionate girl....However so, this does not gives you the reason of staying with him with that kinda treatments he has given you so far...

As always said by many ppl, it takes two hands to make a claps...

When you say you love him n dote him....a typical question will be asked n you need to ask yourself, 'What do you love him about?'

Also, one very important thing you need to know which will answer your question of 'Why this kinda things always happen to me de??', >>> It's your life....you've the every right n authority to choose how your life's going to be...what decision you've to make for your life....No one can ever make a decision on your life, perphaps your parent...but your parent won't be pressing so hard on you, otherwise, i doubt you n ur bf can still stay for these period of time...

Cool down...go to the beach alone, look at the sea n sky, ask yourself....Do you wan to lead on with this current relationship n your life or shld you make a decision for yourself towards a life which you seek for.....

Originally posted by MrFugue:
I assume that you are in your 20's and working.Therefore,the boyfriend you have at your age should be of a good calibre to be a husband.If he is vulgar and coarse with words now,there's no guarentee that he'll stop using it in future.Who knows what the future holds?

Assess him from this day onwards and drop hints that you are fed up with it so that he'll catch the hint and understand why you are annoyed with his attitude.Make arrangement for the debt to be settled because 3k isn't a small amount at all if you want him to pay up the money he owes you.

No, I have just passed my 19th birthday. hais.. husband? I really don't even dare to think about it. And I don't think dropping hints is an effective solution because he already knows he's hurting me. Sometimes when I'm angry or crying, he just tells me to "just go and be angry/sad all you want, and don't irritate me anymore"...

Originally posted by gohkatkatoh
forgot to say this......most guys in singa have been through army.....and in the army...they grill you with the words like fcuk and all those crude languages.......so just listen ....but do not take to heart.....

He's already been used to these vulgarities even before army. But the problem is he used to abstain from swearing and smoking in front of me. But somehow as time pass he seems to think that he doesn't have to respect me anymore, doing all that he likes without caring how I feel. But I really don't understand why all these is happening, cuz i dare say I treat him well. Should I say too well? I give in to all the arguments so that he will not be unhappy anymore. When he's unhappy he always take me for a punching bag, but when I'm unhappy I have to keep it inside me and not show it. I feel that I don't have the right to show my anger/sadness

Originally posted by mistyblue
are you the sort who seek out this kind of bad boys. Then this is a deep seated issue with yourself. You need to find out why you go towards this kinds of guys.

Yes actually I think this is my problem. Why do I always attract ah beng guys de? ppl say I look ah lian. but i am not. and i don't speak vulgarities or broken eng all dat. =( don't smoke don't club don't gamble. www.wishinguponstaries.blogspot.com
www.princess-starlet.blogspot.com

Originally posted by dcx
Cool down...go to the beach alone, look at the sea n sky, ask yourself....Do you wan to lead on with this current relationship n your life or shld you make a decision for yourself towards a life which you seek for.....

I'm quite dependent on him, don't go places on my own de... suddenly feel so lost, like a xiao meimei in an adult world where I'm not supposed to be. and $3000 is alot to me, its my life's hongbao money.

scold you bi*ch = good game liao
dun break up so fast first,try to think ways of getting your money back before breaking up,seriously. Dun make such a big loss.

and btw your blog is really nice!!
sounds so xin suan....

Originally posted by Diesel_Dimension:

scold you bi*ch = good game liao
dun break up so fast first,try to think ways of getting your money back before breaking up,seriously. Dun make such a big loss.

I rather she gives up the 3k....coz there's no way she can get them back...

i don't like guys who scold their gf fu*kers...and guys who take money from their gf...

be heart stone...break up with him...he doesn't love you anymore...

Originally posted by shining*star:

I'm quite dependent on him, don't go places on my own de... suddenly feel so lost, like a xiao meimei in an adult world where I'm not supposed to be. and $3000 is alot to me, its my life's hongbao money.

dependent on him on what?
Perphaps it's time for you to learn how to be independent now...

It's not an adult world....it's the world...world of reality you're living in...

$3000 is alot to you, for a student like you, i noe...but if i'll you, i'll give up the 3k n seek for a better life...3k can be earned back, but time and youth can't..

Am I very stubborn? He can go around telling his friends he thinks this girl is cute, that girl is elegant, very 'you nu ren wei' etc... He pillions girls on his bike and goes out with them and all the 14hours he's out with them he doesn't contact me at all. But I have never caught him red handed before. I rather see it with my own eyes. Or hear him say he doesn't love me. Without all these it's so hard to let go when there's a teeny whinny bit of hope still in my heart. am i weird??

Originally posted by shining*star:

Am I very stubborn? He can go around telling his friends he thinks this girl is cute, that girl is elegant, very 'you nu ren wei' etc... He pillions girls on his bike and goes out with them and all the 14hours he's out with them he doesn't contact me at all. But I have never caught him red handed before. I rather see it with my own eyes. Or hear him say he doesn't love me. Without all these it's so hard to let go when there's a teeny whinny bit of hope still in my heart. am i weird??

You wanna feel pain?

I need the pain to let the heart die. caught in between heart and mind

Originally posted by shining*star:

I need the pain to let the heart die. caught in between heart and mind

Problem is.........can you take it or not?

Originally posted by shining*star:

Am I very stubborn? He can go around telling his friends he thinks this girl is cute, that girl is elegant, very 'you nu ren wei' etc... He pillions girls on his bike and goes out with them and all the 14hours he's out with them he doesn't contact me at all. But I have never caught him red handed before. I rather see it with my own eyes. Or hear him say he doesn't love me. Without all these it's so hard to let go when there's a teeny whinny bit of hope still in my heart. am i weird??

Forgive me for being blunt.
Do you have a problem with your self-esteem?
Do you yearn to be love, so much that as long as there's someone who treat you good, you will fall for him?
And so much so that you know (matter of factly)these type of people will break your heart?

You are not stubborn. You only want to love..blindly.

Let go, girl!! Why do you allow yourself to be treated such?

Sometimes it's not because "we love the person". It's that "tak gam guan" that makes peeps hold on. How can you love someone who do not treat you well?

Love is built. You don't describe any building at all. I'm reading cracks and leaks. If you think these can be repaired, then I wish you well but from the looks of it, this guy has no bloody respect for you!!!

Do yourself a favour. Get treated better. If not by somebody nice then at least by yourself.

Take care and all the very best. Be strong. Be assured that there are other people around you who cares and loves you!!! Besides, there is more to life than just b/g relationship!!!

Good luck!

A person who threatened to kill himself/herself to save a relationship is weak , this will happened again even after u guys patch.If he really love you,he should do something sincere to save the relationship.He should spare a thought for his parents,how will the parents felt if after rising him for soo long and this ungrateful person want to end his life because of one stupid reason the parents might as well give birth to an egg,still can cook and eat wah kao.

time to slowin gather ur things, packup and go le.. as for the money, try to slowly take from him.. every dollar oso keep.. haiz..

zhi gu duo qing kong yu hen...

Honeymoon period just one year??? That’s too short, give this man up and before that get your $3K back. Is better to donate it to SPCA, those animals than to him. Bear in mind in future, don’t lend anybody money no matter how good both of you are. Money is the root of all evil. Treating men need technique, is not that you treat them good then they will reciprocate. In fact they may take for granted, remember they are hunter, they need sense of excitement.

Why this kind of thing happen to you de?

Yah hor? Why ah?

Maybe something happened during you growing up and you subconsciously choose boyfriedns who will end up torturing you?

You see, the human brain is very clever and you will be able to do that unconsciously.

Originally posted by shining*star:

Is it true that people don't know how to treasure what they've got till they lost them?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 1 year plus. Honeymoon period has been over long ago, and for months, I have found myself engaging in quarrels with him almost every other day.

He used to be so sweet and gentle to me – whispering on the phone, caring about my wellbeing, bringing me home every single time we meet up etc.

But now, fourteen months down the road, he seems like a totally different person. He doesn’t respect me anymore. Scolding me vulgarities whenever he likes. Like ch**bye fcuker bitc* etc.

I really love him, and put a lot into this relationship. Friends tell me he is using me but somehow I just cannot bring myself to believe this. He borrows money from me all the time, now totalling up to more than $3k and he never ever returns them.

We come from very different background. I am quite educated, and my parents disapprove of our relationship actually. He is a very typical ah beng. So actually I am really not sure what the future holds for us. But as I've mentioned, I really love him and dote on him. Friends all tell me to stop wasting my time and to break up all that. But it is much easier said than done

What should I do? My ex boyfriend also treated me very badly, after months of debating with myself, I finally took the courage to break up with him. But he came back after all. I didnt want to patch, and he threatened suicide twice. Why this kinda things always happen to me de?? Please help!

Seriously, get out of the relationship girl. There is no point putting yourself in an abusive relationship because it will slowly erode away your self-confidence and self-respect if you continue letting him abuse you.

It is not easy. It won't be easy but you will have to be strong.

At the same time, DO NOT LEND him anymore money. It is like 100% you will have to write does off as bad debts. Cut your losses now, both emotionally and money wise.

You may be educated but not streetsmart.

Anyway, was in kinda similar relationship as you before. I moved on. Yes he threatened sucide, call up at weird times at night and started stalking. Seek support from your close friends. If your friends know him, get them to call him to tell him off. He will think twice if he knows that you have strong support from your friends.

Btw I was in the relationship for 3 years before he became abusive verbally and resorting to emotional blackmail. It's a good thing too because our relationship might have proceeded further.

Anyway, be strong.