im 25, shes 21.

initiated a breakup with her (2yr r/s) in 04, had been unable to endure the constant (trivial) quarrelling, and she always pulled out the 'breakup' word. Even then, i was still uncertain of my feelings...

since then we've kept in contact, mostly through sms/msn.

recently found out she found a bf whom she had known through her friends (for barely 2 weeks). He's 8 yrs older than her, owns a car and is a regular. She confided in me when they quarrelled and as much as i didnt want to know, she told me stuff about him/them, and his/his family's faults.

this was when i realised i may lose her forever... so i took action and met her a couple of times, where i really voiced out a lot of stuff and my feelings. From the time we were together, she had been for the most part my soulmate.

as her vacation was ending, she told me to wait for her decision as she would be busy with school stuff... and so i did. At that time... it seemed i stood a good chance. When we contacted again, she told me she had 'went back' to that guy during that time to see if it could still work out... it was heartbreaking as i didnt expect her to lie to me (or at least didnt say the truth).

we met again, but this time i was tired and not in the mood... and so the meetup passed by uneventfully with me being quiet mostly.

i duno what shes thinking but since then... she has been very cold towards me and told me to put everything aside for now...

due to -some- reason... i think she has gone to be with that guy. But i have not confirmed.

just posting this because tbh amongst my friends there isnt any really close one to confide in, and just duno what to do now. And there's still the financial problems to juggle...

p.s. after reading the 'old or new bf?' thread, realized its somewhat similar =/

If She gone with another guy then forget about it liaw~

well…when girls say they need time and all those crap…its always excuses…

Dont abandon one forest just because of a wiltered tree.

Originally posted by risou:

im 25, shes 21.

initiated a breakup with her (2yr r/s) in 04, had been unable to endure the constant (trivial) quarrelling, and she always pulled out the 'breakup' word. Even then, i was still uncertain of my feelings...

since then we've kept in contact, mostly through sms/msn.

recently found out she found a bf whom she had known through her friends (for barely 2 weeks). He's 8 yrs older than her, owns a car and is a regular. She confided in me when they quarrelled and as much as i didnt want to know, she told me stuff about him/them, and his/his family's faults.

this was when i realised i may lose her forever... so i took action and met her a couple of times, where i really voiced out a lot of stuff and my feelings. From the time we were together, she had been for the most part my soulmate.

as her vacation was ending, she told me to wait for her decision as she would be busy with school stuff... and so i did. At that time... it seemed i stood a good chance. When we contacted again, she told me she had 'went back' to that guy during that time to see if it could still work out... it was heartbreaking as i didnt expect her to lie to me (or at least didnt say the truth).

we met again, but this time i was tired and not in the mood... and so the meetup passed by uneventfully with me being quiet mostly.

i duno what shes thinking but since then... she has been very cold towards me and told me to put everything aside for now...

due to -some- reason... i think she has gone to be with that guy. But i have not confirmed.

just posting this because tbh amongst my friends there isnt any really close one to confide in, and just duno what to do now. And there's still the financial problems to juggle...

p.s. after reading the 'old or new bf?' thread, realized its somewhat similar =/

You are the old, battered shoes kept in some forgotten corner of her cupboard.

Whenever she wore her new shoes and when it gave her foot sores, she will remember how comfortable the old shoes were, despite being old.

For a period, she may wear you.

But you know that your position has been displaced by the new shoes.

***

You hasten your chase just because you felt threatened over the appearance of this new guy - I believe it is a case of 'reserving' her and deciding your 'feelings' later. More likely, you are seeing it as a 'lost' in something than a mystical call from love which urged the chase.

You are looking back and she is moving forward.

If you wish to dwell in this any longer, you will probably become stagnant, while she enjoyed her new path in life. It may not necessary be a fulfilling relationship, but certainly, it will bring her new destination in love and life.

P.S: Remember, you both are once an item - love and relationship did blossom before. There isn't any regret to begin with; it's an ending to accept gracefully.

Cheers

good shoe analogy
pretty much summarised it, at least for the most part.

i duno if she's with that guy now though, but believe so due to her msn nick i saw yesterday... it's something related to what she told me about that guy..

well ive just graduated from uni, found a job (for now)... shes in ite... pretty successful so far.

all is lost? at this point in time... even if im dwelling and pissing myself over this... even as she continues being cold/unresponsive to me... i still have to work soon, mundane work.

when one doesnt have anyone comfortable enough to confide in, what can one do?

when one is unable to see the horizon, which direction does one go?

Originally posted by risou:

good shoe analogy
pretty much summarised it, at least for the most part.

i duno if she's with that guy now though, but believe so due to her msn nick i saw yesterday... it's something related to what she told me about that guy..

well ive just graduated from uni, found a job (for now)... shes in ite... pretty successful so far.

all is lost? at this point in time... even if im dwelling and pissing myself over this... even as she continues being cold/unresponsive to me... i still have to work soon, mundane work.

when one doesnt have anyone comfortable enough to confide in, what can one do?

when one is unable to see the horizon, which direction does one go?

Hmm..I thought the response by Yunhaier was a pretty refreshing one - it's one of the handful he has dispensed which comes without the astrological aspects which would invariably be enshrined in them.

Actually, what is it you want really? You don't seem to be making much of a case of wanting her back because you're still interested in her. Rather, you seem to be motivated by the past romance and the impending loss(as you claimed) of her for good should she hit off with the guy. Perhaps, you ought to really consider if she's the one for you rather than acting on the basis of what the other guy might do. I mean, what good would it do if you won the battle, but lost the war(ie.you win her over now, only to lose her to some other guy later on)?

Originally posted by walesa:

Hmm..I thought the response by Yunhaier was a pretty refreshing one - it's one of the handful he has dispensed which comes without the astrological aspects which would invariably be enshrined in them.

Actually, what is it you want really? You don't seem to be making much of a case of wanting her back because you're still interested in her. Rather, you seem to be motivated by the past romance and the impending loss(as you claimed) of her for good should she hit off with the guy. Perhaps, you ought to really consider if she's the one for you rather than acting on the basis of what the other guy might do. I mean, what good would it do if you won the battle, but lost the war(ie.you win her over now, only to lose her to some other guy later on)?

If you are here long enough, you will probably get used to it.

Cheers

i dont know either
me who started the battle... is stumped.

should i keep trying to contact her? will she respond? has she gone to be with him? is it what she really wants? is it what i dont want or know if its true?

secretly going back to him to test water while i stood alone thinking she's loaded with school work... sigh

maybe i shouldnt have done anything when she told me she had a new bf. lotsa maybes...

i cant get this god-damned #$%^@ out of my mind, im bugged and burdened by it...

Originally posted by walesa:

Hmm..I thought the response by Yunhaier was a pretty refreshing one - it's one of the handful he has dispensed which comes without the astrological aspects which would invariably be enshrined in them.

Actually, what is it you want really? You don't seem to be making much of a case of wanting her back because you're still interested in her. Rather, you seem to be motivated by the past romance and the impending loss(as you claimed) of her for good should she hit off with the guy. Perhaps, you ought to really consider if she's the one for you rather than acting on the basis of what the other guy might do. I mean, what good would it do if you won the battle, but lost the war(ie.you win her over now, only to lose her to some other guy later on)?

Hey i think you have some problem, she already had bf then you go and snatch her again? Don't you have some morality?

Please don't break ppl relationship. Be more responsible ok.

Why do u want her back when u broke up due to frequent quarrelling??
That means u both are not compatible.
Also she is not being honest- stringing 2 guys along.
Better to forget her & move on.

she contacted me when they quarrelled, which was like soon after they became an item (~2 weeks after knowing each other). At that time my exams were nearing, when i found out i didn't try to 'snatch,' like what you mentioned, all i did was to listen to their stuff (which i didnt really want to, would you? if you are the ex-bf who still has feelings for her) and try to calm her down because she said she wanted to breakup with him.

after that, we met twice, you can say i shouldnt have done that but why not? even though yun said it could be more for the 'impending loss,' at least i tried doing something, its not like they were stable and all and together for a long time.

anyway, i dont know if shes with him now or not, and i wont know because she doesnt respond to me, not even to a simple sms just asking her about her school stuff. if she is with him, and decides that ignoring me is what she's gona do, then what can i do?

yes i am jealous, i am unhappy, i dont have a clue as to what i should do now, so no matter comments good or bad, at least i found a place to vent my frustration, because i have no close friend to confide in. And i dont feel any better even after posting all this...

Originally posted by vivasg:

Hey i think you have some problem, she already had bf then you go and snatch her again? Don't you have some morality?

Please don't break ppl relationship. Be more responsible ok.

Have u tried telling her to stop telling stuffs between she and the other guy to u?

Have u voiced out that u are unhappy troughout the whole proccess of listening to her saying things which doesnt concerns u? ( except for their quarrels )

Have u ever told yourself that what she does is none of ur own business?

Its hard to forget an old flame but u have to move on. it is never wrong to meet your old gf/bf as long as u are very clear that both of u are purely friends who knew each other for a long time. and eventually u'll be much happier. if u get this very clear into ur head, no matter what she does and say will not affect u in any ways.

To me i find that this girl is trying to be funny in someways, two timing perhaps? U have to battle it out in ur brains 1st b4 even asking her to come back to u. look at her from a thrid persons view and u'll see much clearer.

Originally posted by risou:

im 25, shes 21.

initiated a breakup with her (2yr r/s) in 04, had been unable to endure the constant (trivial) quarrelling, and she always pulled out the 'breakup' word. Even then, i was still uncertain of my feelings...

since then we've kept in contact, mostly through sms/msn.

recently found out she found a bf whom she had known through her friends (for barely 2 weeks). He's 8 yrs older than her, owns a car and is a regular. She confided in me when they quarrelled and as much as i didnt want to know, she told me stuff about him/them, and his/his family's faults.

this was when i realised i may lose her forever... so i took action and met her a couple of times, where i really voiced out a lot of stuff and my feelings. From the time we were together, she had been for the most part my soulmate.

as her vacation was ending, she told me to wait for her decision as she would be busy with school stuff... and so i did. At that time... it seemed i stood a good chance. When we contacted again, she told me she had 'went back' to that guy during that time to see if it could still work out... it was heartbreaking as i didnt expect her to lie to me (or at least didnt say the truth).

we met again, but this time i was tired and not in the mood... and so the meetup passed by uneventfully with me being quiet mostly.

i duno what shes thinking but since then... she has been very cold towards me and told me to put everything aside for now...

due to -some- reason... i think she has gone to be with that guy. But i have not confirmed.

just posting this because tbh amongst my friends there isnt any really close one to confide in, and just duno what to do now. And there's still the financial problems to juggle...

p.s. after reading the 'old or new bf?' thread, realized its somewhat similar =/

its hard to forget or leave behind the gal since she is ur soulmate but u reali need to leave her n more on with ur life... there better gals to be ur soulmate...

You are trying to get your chance, don't tell me you don't expect something more when you with her and keep trying your chance till now. No matter how long she with her current bf, is none of your business, she already the guy's gf. Stop be a loser and try to snatch ppl's gf.

Ppl like you are disgracing our singaporean, that is y a lot of ppl thought singapore man is desperate. That is all because of ppl like you.

To all forumster,
I think that this thread can closed liao, cause threadstarter says that he just need a place to vent out, no matter how good the comment is. No wonder he got no friends to confide his sorrows.
If he wants to carry on like this, so be it!!! I think there are more genuine cases that ppl actually will listen to our advice.

thanks

Originally posted by vivasg:

You are trying to get your chance, don't tell me you don't expect something more when you with her and keep trying your chance till now. No matter how long she with her current bf, is none of your business, she already the guy's gf. Stop be a loser and try to snatch ppl's gf.

Ppl like you are disgracing our singaporean, that is y a lot of ppl thought singapore man is desperate. That is all because of ppl like you.

thanks too

p.s. this is a forum, anyone is free to post, there's been much advice given... but what is the point of your post besides asking for this thread to be closed? does it violate any rule of this forum?

Originally posted by Disappointment:

To all forumster,
I think that this thread can closed liao, cause threadstarter says that he just need a place to vent out, no matter how good the comment is. No wonder he got no friends to confide his sorrows.
If he wants to carry on like this, so be it!!! I think there are more genuine cases that ppl actually will listen to our advice.

Did you know that there is 6 billion people living in this world ?[/quote]

It could be coz.. Guys dun wan to lose.. And when they lose, their ego is bruised..

Ask urself.. Do you reali still love her? If it's the qurarrels tat pull u both apart.. wOUld it not cont if u got back tog??

The reason she comes to find u is perharps.. She can bare her soul out to u.. After all.. Both of u were once close to each other.. Soul mates to each other.. The easiest person to approach is u.. Whom she noes she can get sympathy out of u.. U noe.. Cheerin her up when she's upset.. Etc.. The things u do 4 her when u're tog..

Btw a normal friend & a ex gf.. Barin her problems out to u.. Think usually the case is u'll be more empathetic to ur ex.. Hehe.. I dunno.. jUs a tot..

Back to the topic.. If u reali love her.. Go & chase her back..

If u dun have feelins 4 her.. & jus coz u're feelin sore.. Conc on ur work.. I'm sure u'll find a gal of ur dreams..

R/s.. Easy to start.. Hard to end..

Originally posted by risou:

thanks too

p.s. this is a forum, anyone is free to post, there's been much advice given... but what is the point of your post besides asking for this thread to be closed? does it violate any rule of this forum?

MY FARKING POINT IS THAT YOU JUST DUN WAKE UP
GF BROKE ALREADY, MEANS KAPISHI....NO MORE. DUN BREW OVER IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

I mean i'm half as angry if you really see what these ppl write here. They are really taking their effort to give good solutions to your problems. So why dun you just try some of them???

What's the use if you dun listen. I mean you as a graduate, 25yrs old.... Shouldn't it be time to handle these issues maturely?

hi, and using CAPS or an obscene adjective doesn't put your point across any clearer or otherwise...

it's not like im lying in bed all day crying over this. and i won't be adding to sg's suicide statistics anytime soon...

yes i appreciate those who have posted their advice, but not to your previous post oh, and this post too.

Originally posted by Disappointment:

MY FARKING POINT IS THAT YOU JUST DUN WAKE UP
GF BROKE ALREADY, MEANS KAPISHI....NO MORE. DUN BREW OVER IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

I mean i'm half as angry if you really see what these ppl write here. They are really taking their effort to give good solutions to your problems. So why dun you just try some of them???

What's the use if you dun listen. I mean you as a graduate, 25yrs old.... Shouldn't it be time to handle these issues maturely?

Forumites... Pls control yourselves...

Originally posted by risou:

good shoe analogy
pretty much summarised it, at least for the most part.

i duno if she's with that guy now though, but believe so due to her msn nick i saw yesterday... it's something related to what she told me about that guy..

well ive just graduated from uni, found a job (for now)... shes in ite... pretty successful so far.

all is lost? at this point in time... even if im dwelling and pissing myself over this... even as she continues being cold/unresponsive to me... i still have to work soon, mundane work.

when one doesnt have anyone comfortable enough to confide in, what can one do?

when one is unable to see the horizon, which direction does one go?

Your problem is you shouldn't have stay too close with her if you can't handle it.... Work is work... If you find that you could be burden by work, go seek entertainment or relaxation elsewhere...

I think you're should be better focusing on your own life at this point... Don't breed and seek answer for 'console' at the wrong place... 'Horizon' might not submerge too soon, worse if you're sitting and facing the wrong direction already...

What's the point of thinking about her? Personally, based on surface analysis... I see that there's pretty much a chance that she's still one who would throw her temper at you over trivial matters....

Originally posted by risou:

hi, and using CAPS or an obscene adjective doesn't put your point across any clearer or otherwise...

it's not like im lying in bed all day crying over this. and i won't be adding to sg's suicide statistics anytime soon...

yes i appreciate those who have posted their advice, but not to your previous post oh, and this post too.

I give up... thought can use reverse psychology. Anyway, good luck in watever you do...