okk I don't know whether I should write my situation here..
I came to know this girl from my school and we got along well for the first few months this year..
and eventually I began to fall for her..
I once got cheated?..I don't know whether I should call it cheated or what..but doesn't matter..got hurt by a girl before
but this new girl..her smile and everything..really pulled me through and I am glad that I know her
and so you know..
I was really excited to see her each day in school..I guess you guys know how it feels to see the girls whom you all admired right? so I don't wish to describe it haha..
but anyway..
I told her that I like her before..think it was around February that time..hmmm..and she told me too..was really happy that time..
but aiyahh.. she told me that she is a Christian and it happens that I am a Buddhist..and she said we might have difficulities getting into a relationship or something
I didn't really think about it cos I thought it is fine..so I just continued to chat and get along with her..didn't really get into a relationship lah cos it is rather ambigious that time
it was until we got seperated into our different classes..cos jc mah..and I started to miss her a lot..a lot a lot a lot..I was hoping she would chat with me on msn everyday cos she really brightens up my day..but I think it was fading cos maybe because we are in different classes? hmmm
so you know..days went pass very fast..July liao..I couldn't control and I went to tell her how I feel..then the shock came
she told me the same thing again..that we are from different religions and she hopes that I can understand..that she views religion very importantly and so we cannot get into the same relationship..haii.....
I mean ok..I am a Buddhist or what but it's my mother's choice not minee..I am a freethinker inside and Buddhist is just my identity you guys know what I mean
really dashed my hope..couldn't pull myself together cos it is the second time I got hurt..she really hurts me but I don't blame her or what cos I got to respect her view right? haha..
but I still miss her a lot!!..
I told her we still can be friends but we kind of lost that level of intimacy as before..
I really miss her a lott and up till now I still like her

call me a weakling or what I don't really care..cos it is really a pity for me I guess
mann what should I do..
now I am hoping to enter NS as soon as possible and forget about everything
but it is like one more year or so?
so long and tough for me
I hope she won't see this
she told me she thinks she has hurt me and that I hate her
yeapp she has hurt me
but no
I don't hate her
I just feel soo ARRGGHH..
I hope she won't see this bah
cos I told her I am fine just that I need time to recover
but I lied..not fine though haha..
hmmm
I don't think there will be another girl like her who would appear in my life again..
and I cannot imagine her holding hands with another man..a Christian? haha.....
hmmm...
sorry guys..I am a bit long-winded..and you may think it's a small problem..but to me it's really devastating..I've lost a good chatting partner who is in Canada now and now I have lost her haii..
