A r/s problem.. any solutions?
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Hi everybodyÂ… I got a problem to shareÂ….
I am an 18 year old girl and got a 23 year old guy for a boyfriendÂ…
I got a nice boyfriendÂ… the age gap between is 5 yearsÂ… to me is a little too bigÂ… to him I am childishÂ… whereas I could say that I knew lots of things which he doesnÂ’tÂ… he didnÂ’t know I have got someone to spy on him and from there I knew a lot about his past and present. The report I gotten was a beautiful oneÂ…to be frank, I admit that I am unscrupulous in certain other ways in handling people which he doesnÂ’t know at allÂ…
To him I am not that mature to make it sounds nice to me he said thatÂ… I was wondering if I am not matureÂ… whatÂ’s the point of him being with me in the first place... we knew each other earlier this year at our workplaceÂ…
He needs a girl that is able to talk to him about intellectual stuff… but in some or another way I think I ‘failed’ because he said I should give myself a little bit more time. But I am able to support him emotionally and physically but not intellectually… he’s a currently studying a University whereas I am studying at ITE. The difference is rather big…but I know I will make it there some day… I tried reading lots of newspaper and discuss with him some intellectual stuff but I find it very hard to keep on reading on and on… I find it tiring…
HeÂ’s the best that ever could happen to me but I just felt that we are out of range no doubt initially the chemistry between was all right but not fantastic.
I am trying real hard to be intellectually on par with him and I do lots of research in the subjects heÂ’s majoring in. I done all that all in the hope that I will be able to help him academically.
Nowadays I find it boring to go out with him and a hassle to call or message him, all bottoms to the fact that he donÂ’t like to message me or call me much but he wonÂ’t go MIA for sureÂ… sometimes heÂ’s really a mood spoilerÂ… I donÂ’t know what to sayÂ…
I got to say that heÂ’s a lot of different in other guys I knew, heÂ’s not a flirt and doesnÂ’t like to talk to girls except work stuff or school workÂ… but I am differentÂ… I am a big time flirt and a player. Find it rather hard to go out with himÂ… heÂ’s boring! Guys out there.. any idea to spice up this r/s?
At times, I felt he came at the wrong time and truth to be toldÂ… he came at the wrong place tooÂ… because of him I broke up with my guy whom I have been dating for the past 2 yearsÂ… sometimes I think back, I regretted my decision. But with my current bf, I learnt lots of things which I havenÂ’t with my ex.
Okay, I will write till hereÂ… any experienced ones do give me your two cents worthÂ… do write to meÂ… thxÂ… :> -
Hmm...be yourself?
When he falls in love with you, he does not seem to mind so much about your age and education level right?
As for him being boring...maybe you should find out something that both of you enjoy and can do together...and when you said you are a flirt, do you still have an urge to flirt with other guys now even tho you are already attached? -
Love and chemistry transcends all barriers.. be it age, status etc. Well tt's the ideal some pple would choose to believe.
Personally i dont. We humans have a certain degree of prejudice n steroetyping tendencies. Like ladies generally dun like younger men. In ur case.. he being older n of higher education being the obstacle.
The thing is.. yes.. it might irk him. But if he still likes u feel comfortable with u. I see no prob. But if he doesnt.. den let fate decide whether u two still can be tgt. Love may be able to be nurtured. But chemistry takes alot more.
No pt making urself miserable n tired trying to reach his so-called level. Differences may be a put off. But it can also be attractive. It could be ur differences tt attracted him to u in the 1st place. If it's not the case... surely there's some1 else out there who appreciates them.
Well.. there's this saying: Opposites attract. It doesnt work on all individuals but it does work.. sometimes..
Good luck..
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there is no such thing as an ideal r/s.
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for all the fun u had previously...
its ur payback. -
At least she had fun.. where's the fun being Gacky the Monk..Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:for all the fun u had previously...
its ur payback.
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endure and excel.Originally posted by Gackt247:At least she had fun.. where's the fun being Gacky the Monk..
haha -
Nabeiz.. u combat engineer rite?Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:endure and excel.
haha
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haha...Originally posted by Gackt247:Nabeiz.. u combat engineer rite?
u trying to be funny?
endure and excel = combat engineer. -
What sort of 'player' are you?Originally posted by lysa:Hi everybodyÂ… I got a problem to shareÂ….
I am an 18 year old girl and got a 23 year old guy for a boyfriendÂ…
I got a nice boyfriendÂ… the age gap between is 5 yearsÂ… to me is a little too bigÂ… to him I am childishÂ… whereas I could say that I knew lots of things which he doesnÂ’tÂ… he didnÂ’t know I have got someone to spy on him and from there I knew a lot about his past and present. The report I gotten was a beautiful oneÂ…to be frank, I admit that I am unscrupulous in certain other ways in handling people which he doesnÂ’t know at allÂ…
To him I am not that mature to make it sounds nice to me he said thatÂ… I was wondering if I am not matureÂ… whatÂ’s the point of him being with me in the first place... we knew each other earlier this year at our workplaceÂ…
He needs a girl that is able to talk to him about intellectual stuff… but in some or another way I think I ‘failed’ because he said I should give myself a little bit more time. But I am able to support him emotionally and physically but not intellectually… he’s a currently studying a University whereas I am studying at ITE. The difference is rather big…but I know I will make it there some day… I tried reading lots of newspaper and discuss with him some intellectual stuff but I find it very hard to keep on reading on and on… I find it tiring…
HeÂ’s the best that ever could happen to me but I just felt that we are out of range no doubt initially the chemistry between was all right but not fantastic.
I am trying real hard to be intellectually on par with him and I do lots of research in the subjects heÂ’s majoring in. I done all that all in the hope that I will be able to help him academically.
Nowadays I find it boring to go out with him and a hassle to call or message him, all bottoms to the fact that he donÂ’t like to message me or call me much but he wonÂ’t go MIA for sureÂ… sometimes heÂ’s really a mood spoilerÂ… I donÂ’t know what to sayÂ…
I got to say that heÂ’s a lot of different in other guys I knew, heÂ’s not a flirt and doesnÂ’t like to talk to girls except work stuff or school workÂ… but I am differentÂ… I am a big time flirt and a player. Find it rather hard to go out with himÂ… heÂ’s boring! Guys out there.. any idea to spice up this r/s?
At times, I felt he came at the wrong time and truth to be toldÂ… he came at the wrong place tooÂ… because of him I broke up with my guy whom I have been dating for the past 2 yearsÂ… sometimes I think back, I regretted my decision. But with my current bf, I learnt lots of things which I havenÂ’t with my ex.
Okay, I will write till hereÂ… any experienced ones do give me your two cents worthÂ… do write to meÂ… thxÂ… :> -
tt one their motto i tink.. trying my luck to create a connection.Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:haha...
u trying to be funny?
endure and excel = combat engineer.
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players deserve nothingOriginally posted by lysa:Hi everybodyÂ… I got a problem to shareÂ….
I am an 18 year old girl and got a 23 year old guy for a boyfriendÂ…
I got a nice boyfriendÂ… the age gap between is 5 yearsÂ… to me is a little too bigÂ… to him I am childishÂ… whereas I could say that I knew lots of things which he doesnÂ’tÂ… he didnÂ’t know I have got someone to spy on him and from there I knew a lot about his past and present. The report I gotten was a beautiful oneÂ…to be frank, I admit that I am unscrupulous in certain other ways in handling people which he doesnÂ’t know at allÂ…
To him I am not that mature to make it sounds nice to me he said thatÂ… I was wondering if I am not matureÂ… whatÂ’s the point of him being with me in the first place... we knew each other earlier this year at our workplaceÂ…
He needs a girl that is able to talk to him about intellectual stuff… but in some or another way I think I ‘failed’ because he said I should give myself a little bit more time. But I am able to support him emotionally and physically but not intellectually… he’s a currently studying a University whereas I am studying at ITE. The difference is rather big…but I know I will make it there some day… I tried reading lots of newspaper and discuss with him some intellectual stuff but I find it very hard to keep on reading on and on… I find it tiring…
HeÂ’s the best that ever could happen to me but I just felt that we are out of range no doubt initially the chemistry between was all right but not fantastic.
I am trying real hard to be intellectually on par with him and I do lots of research in the subjects heÂ’s majoring in. I done all that all in the hope that I will be able to help him academically.
Nowadays I find it boring to go out with him and a hassle to call or message him, all bottoms to the fact that he donÂ’t like to message me or call me much but he wonÂ’t go MIA for sureÂ… sometimes heÂ’s really a mood spoilerÂ… I donÂ’t know what to sayÂ…
I got to say that heÂ’s a lot of different in other guys I knew, heÂ’s not a flirt and doesnÂ’t like to talk to girls except work stuff or school workÂ… but I am differentÂ… I am a big time flirt and a player. Find it rather hard to go out with himÂ… heÂ’s boring! Guys out there.. any idea to spice up this r/s?
At times, I felt he came at the wrong time and truth to be toldÂ… he came at the wrong place tooÂ… because of him I broke up with my guy whom I have been dating for the past 2 yearsÂ… sometimes I think back, I regretted my decision. But with my current bf, I learnt lots of things which I havenÂ’t with my ex.
Okay, I will write till hereÂ… any experienced ones do give me your two cents worthÂ… do write to meÂ… thxÂ… :>
believe it or flame it,either way ur mark ass readed it -
Actually, I was this kind of guy. A bit stupid only can talk facts and can not make gals happy.
Deep down, I think he is also looking for someone who can show him how to have a good time. Bring him out. Let him get loose and break the tension between you two.
Don't change yourself... except the player part.... and be happy around him. Don't need to soo stressed about it cos at the end of the day, he is happy to be around you. -
u gotta think and reflect on y u wanna check him up
what sort of a player are you ?
do u want to check him up all your life ?
do you know that this will lead to insecurity ?
what kind of past or present u find disturbing ?
what do you think will happen if he found that you are a player ?
did you tell him what u posted here ? that u tried researching and what not ? just to be on par with him ? did you even tell him on not on par with him ?
what kind of a r/s u looking for ?
what does this guy have that make u dump ur ex of 2 years for him ?
how will you be sure that you won't dump him for another guy ?
have u forgotten your ex of 2 years ?
how did 2 years of memories just vanish ?
were you just also playing ur ex of 2 years ?
are you also playing this guy ?
did he even mind that you are in ITE ?
just a few questions that came to my mind
my few cts
cheers -
haha, u got it wrong.Originally posted by Gackt247:tt one their motto i tink.. trying my luck to create a connection. -
Tell him what you put in here.
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Hmmm... Why is it that you have to put yourself onto the same intellectual standards as him? It's good to have some differences rather than "same frequency"...
If he really minds about your intellectual standards, no doubt he'll mind your childishness...
In a relationship, it can be two opposites that will complement each other in each pther's stronger points...
Me's a Master (1st class Hons) while my wife's a 'O' level grad... But me never mind her cos there's things she broadened my mind and perspectives while me complements her on the stronger part of intellectuallity...
Also my wife is also younger than me by quite a huge gap than yours... But it's the understandings that we share and make us feel so unique and attached to each other... -
yea.. probably u are right when he fell in love wif me..Originally posted by rainee:Hmm...be yourself?
When he falls in love with you, he does not seem to mind so much about your age and education level right?
As for him being boring...maybe you should find out something that both of you enjoy and can do together...and when you said you are a flirt, do you still have an urge to flirt with other guys now even tho you are already attached?
gd idea for me n him doin thgs we love to do..
i lost all the interest in flirting wif other guys after i gotten attached to him.. -
I agreed to all u hv said... he really needs me to loosen him up mentally.. i am already changed... no longer a player... thanks for ur kind advice...Originally posted by yuppy4life:Actually, I was this kind of guy. A bit stupid only can talk facts and can not make gals happy.
Deep down, I think he is also looking for someone who can show him how to have a good time. Bring him out. Let him get loose and break the tension between you two.
Don't change yourself... except the player part.... and be happy around him. Don't need to soo stressed about it cos at the end of the day, he is happy to be around you. -
thats quite something when the guy dont mind when he met u
as u said ur going flirty with other guys..not all intellectual guys r boring (some say they may look aloof or just cool with not much words ) n not all
guys r as deep as they look when u "examine" them thoughfully -
Usually i dun really like intellectual guy.. but one good thing is.. at least he thinks more than other guys around his age which i realised... i used to be flirty... but i have gotten tired of being that way... very true.. sometimes i don't knw wad u guys r thinking... esp when he's so quiet... like deep in tots.. haha... i knew he wasn't ignoring me but just felt 'neglected'..Originally posted by ski8:thats quite something when the guy dont mind when he met u
as u said ur going flirty with other guys..not all intellectual guys r boring (some say they may look aloof or just cool with not much words ) n not all
guys r as deep as they look when u "examine" them thoughfully -
Purpose in so called having the same intellectual standards as him so that i can be his full support in his career in future... cos i really want him to know that watever he does.. i will give him my full support...Originally posted by dork3d:Hmmm... Why is it that you have to put yourself onto the same intellectual standards as him? It's good to have some differences rather than "same frequency"...
If he really minds about your intellectual standards, no doubt he'll mind your childishness...
In a relationship, it can be two opposites that will complement each other in each pther's stronger points...
Me's a Master (1st class Hons) while my wife's a 'O' level grad... But me never mind her cos there's things she broadened my mind and perspectives while me complements her on the stronger part of intellectuallity...
Also my wife is also younger than me by quite a huge gap than yours... But it's the understandings that we share and make us feel so unique and attached to each other...
It's really true that it is e understanding that both parties share n make em feel unique n attached to each other n never to let go... after hearing ur sharing i felt enlightened... thank you... at least i know that i should try harder in making the r/s work even more... -
sounds like you are trying to fight for his attention? I suppose it's good for the r/s in a way.Originally posted by lysa:Usually i dun really like intellectual guy.. but one good thing is.. at least he thinks more than other guys around his age which i realised... i used to be flirty... but i have gotten tired of being that way... very true.. sometimes i don't knw wad u guys r thinking... esp when he's so quiet... like deep in tots.. haha... i knew he wasn't ignoring me but just felt 'neglected'..
doko -
qing chang gao shou lol... heavy flirting but not bed any guy ...Originally posted by molgax:u gotta think and reflect on y u wanna check him up
what sort of a player are you ?
do u want to check him up all your life ?
do you know that this will lead to insecurity ?
what kind of past or present u find disturbing ?
what do you think will happen if he found that you are a player ?
did you tell him what u posted here ? that u tried researching and what not ? just to be on par with him ? did you even tell him on not on par with him ?
what kind of a r/s u looking for ?
what does this guy have that make u dump ur ex of 2 years for him ?
how will you be sure that you won't dump him for another guy ?
have u forgotten your ex of 2 years ?
how did 2 years of memories just vanish ?
were you just also playing ur ex of 2 years ?
are you also playing this guy ?
did he even mind that you are in ITE ?
just a few questions that came to my mind
my few cts
cheers
checked once.. no point checking so many time...
its nt a matter of insecurity.. its my god bro who wants to check.. i have no reasons to reject him then which i thought..
no past n present that i find its disturbing except he's boring..
all becos i let go of the past...
he knew that i am a player but he trusted me completely as i am his first love n all he knew i am truthful to him...
of course he doesn't know i wrote everything here.. if not i will be in deep trouble... i did told him both of us are not on par but he said let's give it a try before one give up till today i don't wish to give up becos i really love him... have done researches in all his studies n catch up all the stuff he's studying all in all just to give him a helping hand in his studies...
a serious r/s that's why i gave up flirting n be serious with him if not wads the point of me coming here n asking u guys for advice eh?
truth is i have gotten tired of these 2 yrs r/s wif a 16 year guy... not mature... n ill-treated me... so i knew it will be painful... but i still chose to give it up n be with my 23 bf now...
i am sure i won't dump him bcos i knew he's serious with me... if not i would have dump him earlier on...
i have clean forgotten my ex cos he's a fcuKer... like i said... i am qing chang gao shou... the day when i decided to break wif my ex.. i am prepared to accept new bf which is e current one..
2 years of memories faded becos all of that have no worth of any remembrance at all... simple as that.. this point i guess i am pretty ruthless...
I wasn't fooling wif my ex-guy for two year too... i wish to be with him till the end but from the way he treated me... that bloody fellow.. he doesn't deserve me at all.. so i gave me the break...
i ain't playing with my current bf... i am dead serious being with him..
he don't really mind my education level...
hey guy.. i guess only u are thinking... haha.. -
thanks for your opinion... it has been taken into deep consideration...Originally posted by Gackt247:Love and chemistry transcends all barriers.. be it age, status etc. Well tt's the ideal some pple would choose to believe.
Personally i dont. We humans have a certain degree of prejudice n steroetyping tendencies. Like ladies generally dun like younger men. In ur case.. he being older n of higher education being the obstacle.
The thing is.. yes.. it might irk him. But if he still likes u feel comfortable with u. I see no prob. But if he doesnt.. den let fate decide whether u two still can be tgt. Love may be able to be nurtured. But chemistry takes alot more.
No pt making urself miserable n tired trying to reach his so-called level. Differences may be a put off. But it can also be attractive. It could be ur differences tt attracted him to u in the 1st place. If it's not the case... surely there's some1 else out there who appreciates them.
Well.. there's this saying: Opposites attract. It doesnt work on all individuals but it does work.. sometimes..
Good luck..