Confuse Relationship
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Ok i admit i am confuse.
Let me elaborate n summaries my relationship :
BF : H
Fren : D
Actually my bf treat me well, bring me to nice dinning, pick me up as and when from office for dinner. Pay for my computer which i wanna change but no $$.
Only things is his hobbies is taking up too much time, at times i felt neglected.
i have tried talking to him, but he just avoid the things and prevent quarrel. But things do not change at all. After my grumble he is back to square one. Actually i dnt mind, coz i am grumbling. And also he had mentioned before if he had fail to treat me well, remember to remind him. As gal i though that is nice of him.
But then came along my close fren D.
Who keep analaysing things between me and bf.
He told me my bf isn't committed to me, and by reminding him i am helping him when he slack. This way i will never leave him.
He taught me to secretly mark H, faults and slack in relationship. And to the point give up if the relationship go haywire. And do not tell my bf what's wrong but let him think hard. If he has heart for me, he would do so.
I am lost now.
Coz i don't know if i should heed D advise ? -
no.
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stay away frm D as he more like wanna kill ur relationship.... could be D is interested in u tats y he wanna purposely hide everything...Originally posted by chaah:Ok i admit i am confuse.
Let me elaborate n summaries my relationship :
BF : H
Fren : D
Actually my bf treat me well, bring me to nice dinning, pick me up as and when from office for dinner. Pay for my computer which i wanna change but no $$.
Only things is his hobbies is taking up too much time, at times i felt neglected.
i have tried talking to him, but he just avoid the things and prevent quarrel. But things do not change at all. After my grumble he is back to square one. Actually i dnt mind, coz i am grumbling. And also he had mentioned before if he had fail to treat me well, remember to remind him. As gal i though that is nice of him.
But then came along my close fren D.
Who keep analaysing things between me and bf.
He told me my bf isn't committed to me, and by reminding him i am helping him when he slack. This way i will never leave him.
He taught me to secretly mark H, faults and slack in relationship. And to the point give up if the relationship go haywire. And do not tell my bf what's wrong but let him think hard. If he has heart for me, he would do so.
I am lost now.
Coz i don't know if i should heed D advise ?
if u wan to let things be smooth, its always best to talk to ur bf n work things out... so wats his hobbies??? -
Photograph taking..Originally posted by BrUtUs:stay away frm D as he more like wanna kill ur relationship.... could be D is interested in u tats y he wanna purposely hide everything...
if u wan to let things be smooth, its always best to talk to ur bf n work things out... so wats his hobbies???
He use to bring me along for photograph taking, it was fun initially but after something it kills the joy coz it become a hobby of we meet up only to go for phototaking and dinner..
Humhhhh.... No shopping, cinema etc...
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x2.Originally posted by BrUtUs:stay away frm D as he more like wanna kill ur relationship.... could be D is interested in u tats y he wanna purposely hide everything...
if u wan to let things be smooth, its always best to talk to ur bf n work things out... so wats his hobbies???
stay away from D. really really. -
AGREED...Originally posted by BrUtUs:stay away frm D as he more like wanna kill ur relationship.... could be D is interested in u tats y he wanna purposely hide everything...
if u wan to let things be smooth, its always best to talk to ur bf n work things out... so wats his hobbies???
D is a monster... and i hate this kind of ppl... his name should be written on death note ! -
that's an expensive and time-consuming hobby... maybe when u start a family with him, then he will dump it....Originally posted by chaah:Photograph taking.. -
seriously
i hate photo-taking with no humans in it
dun understand wad is so fun to take so mani pic of objects oni =(
i prefer take pic , alone, with fren, only frens, etc
and i m in my sch photography club
whahaha
nt realli suited for it -
erm ya quite time-consuming... but if its his passion n its harmless, u should sarpot him on it... u can try work with him on the timing lo... but all tis require both of u to talk n get understanding... got a gal who came in here with a more trouble partner(gaming...) n guess she fixed everything after the talk so u should hv a nice chat session with him... good luck...Originally posted by chaah:Photograph taking.. -
D here is machiam Dr. Doom sia.
so no! -
Humhh.. I dnt mind him having that hobby so long he dnt forget abt family.Originally posted by ^tamago^:that's an expensive and time-consuming hobby... maybe when u start a family with him, then he will dump it....
So far, he still take good care of his parents senting them etc..
Buy goods for home consume.
When i am sick he came all the way frm Jurong to Bishan send me to doctor buy food for me to eat. When my sickness didn't get well he went to temple pray for my health.
Overall i still feel him very nice to me. At times, he is very oriental man i guess, those cannot hug and kiss in public.. haa...
I guess i shld be contented with his etc...
Am i ? -
by rights, yes.Originally posted by chaah:Humhh.. I dnt mind him having that hobby so long he dnt forget abt family.
So far, he still take good care of his parents senting them etc..
Buy goods for home consume.
When i am sick he came all the way frm Jurong to Bishan send me to doctor buy food for me to eat. When my sickness didn't get well he went to temple pray for my health.
Overall i still feel him very nice to me. At times, he is very oriental man i guess, those cannot hug and kiss in public.. haa...
I guess i shld be contented with his etc...
Am i ? -
it all depends on wat u reali wan lo... u seem like u need maximum time + maximum love type so ask urself if u can look pass ur demands n stick with his lifestyle anot lo...Originally posted by chaah:Humhh.. I dnt mind him having that hobby so long he dnt forget abt family.
So far, he still take good care of his parents senting them etc..
Buy goods for home consume.
When i am sick he came all the way frm Jurong to Bishan send me to doctor buy food for me to eat. When my sickness didn't get well he went to temple pray for my health.
Overall i still feel him very nice to me. At times, he is very oriental man i guess, those cannot hug and kiss in public.. haa...
I guess i shld be contented with his etc...
Am i ? -
Then why join a photography club if you don't have the passion nor are able to understand what photography means?Originally posted by pierre^^:seriously
i hate photo-taking with no humans in it
dun understand wad is so fun to take so mani pic of objects oni =(
i prefer take pic , alone, with fren, only frens, etc
and i m in my sch photography club
whahaha
nt realli suited for it -
There's no free lunch in this world.Originally posted by chaah:Ok i admit i am confuse.
Let me elaborate n summaries my relationship :
BF : H
Fren : D
Actually my bf treat me well, bring me to nice dinning, pick me up as and when from office for dinner. Pay for my computer which i wanna change but no $$.
Only things is his hobbies is taking up too much time, at times i felt neglected.
i have tried talking to him, but he just avoid the things and prevent quarrel. But things do not change at all. After my grumble he is back to square one. Actually i dnt mind, coz i am grumbling. And also he had mentioned before if he had fail to treat me well, remember to remind him. As gal i though that is nice of him.
But then came along my close fren D.
Who keep analaysing things between me and bf.
He told me my bf isn't committed to me, and by reminding him i am helping him when he slack. This way i will never leave him.
He taught me to secretly mark H, faults and slack in relationship. And to the point give up if the relationship go haywire. And do not tell my bf what's wrong but let him think hard. If he has heart for me, he would do so.
I am lost now.
Coz i don't know if i should heed D advise ?
So do you still think you should follow D's advice... Sit around and do just nothing? -
Yes. You should be asking and answering yousrelf that question. Are you contented with just all this?Originally posted by chaah:Humhh.. I dnt mind him having that hobby so long he dnt forget abt family.
So far, he still take good care of his parents senting them etc..
Buy goods for home consume.
When i am sick he came all the way frm Jurong to Bishan send me to doctor buy food for me to eat. When my sickness didn't get well he went to temple pray for my health.
Overall i still feel him very nice to me. At times, he is very oriental man i guess, those cannot hug and kiss in public.. haa...
I guess i shld be contented with his etc...
Am i ?
Btw, have you tried talking VERY HARD to him about all these. I seriously think asking for more time between the 2 of you other than just meals and his hobby alone is not too much to ask for for a relationship.... -
I think.. You are not understanding enough to your BF's interests. At this time, all your complaints are only about yourself. You know that he treats you well. You know that he likely loves you by buying expensive stuff for you. But you are not contented.
You want to put a stranglehold on his life, to not pursue his interest, because you selfishly want him to spend time with you.
Relationships arent about being sticky. You should find other avenues to keep yourself occupied.
Importantly, realise that relationships isn't exactly about needs. You dont need to be with him very oftenly to be happy.
Still I believe the best form of relationship is where both party do not need or obssess with one another, but one where you CHOOSE and WANT to be with each other and able to keep apart without affecting your feelings.
Seriously, with this kind of thoughts, I think your BF is better without you, not the other way around. Reflect carefully. -
A person comes with his quirks and idiosyncracies, hobbies & habits included. If he didn't have his own unique traits he wouldn't be HIM and you may not like him in the first place, right?
Photography is harmless really! If it isn't a bad habit or something detrimental to his health, I think he should be given space to indulge in it. Just negotiate a compromise, e.g. once a week bring you out to a place of your choice, watch movie every other week, etc. And in exchange when he is out taking photos, you let him do his thing in peace. So he can enjoy his hobby and still make you happy.
Have a little faith in your man! Try working out your own relationship first, before you start listening to other people and doubting your bf. -
yr frend, D , CMI...........................
its yr r/s tat u r going into, y muz u take ppl's advice? if u realli do take tat advice, tat meas u r shaken easily.. isnt a good sign frend.. communication is important, ( mayb u shld communicate more wif yr BF more often at times, to improve the present condition ) like wht other forumers say, i also think tat, mayb , i said "MAYBE" , D could b interested in u. hence, he is tryin HARD to tell u tat yr r/s is a failure. ( no offense to ya frend though )
so, juz remember, u do things yr own way !!! -
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No.
I think the problem lies in you, threadstarter.
You demand a lot of love from your boyfriend. You have low self-esteem. I see nothing wrong with your guy. He treats you well, yet you want more. You want him to be with you 24/7. That is being unreasonable. Even if you don't want this relationship, sooner or later, he will call it quits if you continue your behaviour like this. Outside he may feel happy, inside, he may be trying to call off this relationship.
Think about it, girl. Get more love from parents and siblings instead, unless you don't get it from them.
doko -
Btw this is a very immature way of handling a relationship.Originally posted by chaah:And do not tell my bf what's wrong but let him think hard. If he has heart for me, he would do so.
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seems to me that D wants to spoil ur relationship
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Before you seek D's advice, is D having a good stable bgr relationship with anyone? Anyone at all?
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ya lorOriginally posted by LazerLordz:Then why join a photography club if you don't have the passion nor are able to understand what photography means?
haa
but i tink there are mani others who thought it was fun initially i guess