how could she? this so heartless~
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even if you are, is he able to accept the "unchanged" you in his "evolved" state of mind?Originally posted by Bontakun:Considering this: even so, are you willing to accept the change? Or are you going to let it go? -
Originally posted by smudgey:even if you are, is he able to accept the "unchanged" you in his "evolved" state of mind?
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Heard of the song 'knife'? had ever experience the feeling the song described? i do not think a stale relationtionship will ever make you feel that way.Originally posted by sunny6110:I guess gers can only be rational when her attraction level for him fell to 0~
relationship was stable or stale u meant?
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Maybe. Or it could be, i juz knew a part of him which i never did in the past? God knows.Originally posted by dokono:Am I right to say that the person you once loved is no longer the person he used to be that's why the break up?
doko -
have you tried changing and changing and changing, and yet it still couldnt work?Originally posted by Bontakun:Considering this: even so, are you willing to accept the change? Or are you going to let it go? -
Or maybe, i just chose what i want to see and ignored the rest until recently?Originally posted by blu_sky:Maybe. Or it could be, i juz knew a part of him which i never did in the past? God knows.
And the list of 'Maybe's goes on. ...
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the maybe list is just as useless as the what if list.....Originally posted by M©+square:Or maybe, i just chose what i want to see and ignored the rest until recently?
The the list of 'Maybe's goes on. ... -
Originally posted by smudgey:the maybe list is just as useless as the what if list.....
Have you realise, how powerful the thought of MAYBEs and WHAT IFs have affected people? -
There's no right or wrong in a relationshipOriginally posted by smudgey:the maybe list is just as useless as the what if list..... 
One may react differently to the maybe list or what if list according to the attraction level for the other party -
ah.... there are so many aspects of a relationship that require trust! like wat was stated in greenribbon's thread, finance, trust that he/she will be there for you and etc and etc and etc. there are so many, you know?Originally posted by dokono:Yah I know not just infedelity but what are the rest? What else? Can you be more clear leh?
No seriously, women as a whole are very firm when it comes to dumping their boyfriend
doko
ok, thats all i'll like to contribute on your this qn. cos i think no matter how much i talk and illustrate here, some things in life needs life experience and maturity to understand. Guess you might have to go through yourself you understand! of cos open-mindedness is needed. otherwise, no matter what happens, when something bad happens n you juz gonna attribute it to 3rd parties, you still wont learn much in life. -
and yes of cos maybe.Originally posted by M©+square:Or maybe, i just chose what i want to see and ignored the rest until recently?
And the list of 'Maybe's goes on. ...
and there are so many maybes in life.... methink, at this juncture in my life, it is juz a matter of how you wanna take control of your life.
Cheers -
well... find one that doesn't needa change but works?Originally posted by blu_sky:have you tried changing and changing and changing, and yet it still couldnt work?
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PRECISELY!!!!! Thats what i meant all along!!!!Originally posted by sunny6110:well... find one that doesn't needa change but works? -
yes....Originally posted by M©+square:
Have you realise, how powerful the thought of MAYBEs and WHAT IFs have affected people?
these thoughts torments us.... but there's nothing much we can do with the list -
Ooo.. I haven...Originally posted by blu_sky:Heard of the song 'knife'?
Can send me pls?? Give me ur MSN??
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Originally posted by blu_sky:and yes of cos maybe.
and there are so many maybes in life.... methink, at this juncture in my life, it is juz a matter of how you wanna take control of your life.
Cheers Indeed -
Originally posted by blu_sky:
+1
[b]
ah.... there are so many aspects of a relationship that require trust! like wat was stated in greenribbon's thread, finance, trust that he/she will be there for you and etc and etc and etc. there are so many, you know?
ok, thats all i'll like to contribute on your this qn. cos i think no matter how much i talk and illustrate here, some things in life needs life experience and maturity to understand. Guess you might have to go through yourself you understand! of cos open-mindedness is needed. otherwise, no matter what happens, when something bad happens n you juz gonna attribute it to 3rd parties, you still wont learn much in life.[/b] -
Originally posted by sunny6110:Ooo.. I haven...
Can send me pls?? Give me ur MSN?? -
its shocking to see just how many poeple this happens to....i too have had this happen to me,from an ex bf.the hardest part is when they say they still wanna be friends.its the worst decision you'll ever have to make.in my case,we were friends for a week,until i found out that he left me cause he was cheating on me with one of my best friends,and they were doing it in our bed.but anyway,this took some time to get over,it put me in the lowest part of my life,but a good friend helped me through it....and from then ive realised theres more to life than being with someone,ive some of the best times of my life since we split up....sure it gets lonely sometimes,and you cant help but miss them.....but you have to be strong.....ive chosen to not to enter anymore serious relationships since then,but its up to the individual whether you get right back on the dating horse again or not....just give yourself time to adjust,and sort your feelings and your life out before you rush inot anything.i have to add....my ex bf and i broke up over a year ago,and we've only recently in the last few months became friends again.the friendship will never be as good as it was.....but its life.....things change,thats the way it is,just stay strong,believe in yourself......you can get through this,and you will be a much stronger person when you've recovered form the hurt and anger.it took me almost a year.....and im nto completely over it yet still....but its great to move on with your life and make yourslef happy.after all,you should eb the most important thing in your life.take care friend,pm me if theres anything.....goodluck.
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I trust you are speaking from personal experience. Is the friend/partner accustomed to be late? Have you found out why he/she/it is always late? Is it a habit? Or is there some last minute situation? If you know its a habit, its something you may have to accept, be it friend or partner. If its some situation, you can ask what is going on.Originally posted by smudgey:Hi Bontakun
the n ran home......
anyways,
I agree that a lot depends on the initial purpose for getting into the relationship.... and I also agree that when you go into a relationship with a notion of looking for THE one, you will spend time to get to know him better first.
With friends, like-wise it's a gamble... with lower stakes.
With friends, we are more torlerant... we are more willing to forgo their "crap"
for example...
what's the diff between your friend being two hours late, and your partner being two hours late? who are you more pissed at?
If you are waiting for your friend/partner for 2 hours..... a sudden sms is recieved to say that he/she have met up some friends and won't be meeting you... who are you more irritated at?
with friends, we do not expect too much. but with partners, there will always be a certain level of expectation.
when you see a friend spending too much money.... you caution him, he doesn't listen. what can you do? and you let it go eventually....
but if that friend is your partner, you'll feel more irritation?
hmmmm.... am i making any sense??? had a bad night last night... brain not functioning like norm.
On the part being habit or something that is natural of the person. Its your call you accept and bear with it or try to change it OR you can just forget it totally and let it go.
If the person sms you he/she/it has met with some friends and decided not to meet you, it brings to your mind "Has this person been doing that? Even before I decided to date him/her/it?". If this person did this before you two dated, you should have found out about this beforehand. If the person did this AFTER you two dated, then its something you two may have to discuss about.
You caution a friend not to spend so much, he bo hew, you can't do much more at that moment. If the partner does the same, you have to ask youself this, "Is he like this before I met him? Or after we got together?" If he is like this before you two dated, shouldn't you have noticed this point before?
If you had a bad night, I suggest you rest well. Sleep is VERY HELPFUL.
Change is the only constant. If you can accept his change yet he cannot accept yours, this only means you two were NOT meant to be together. You are ready for something he is not. You have not found the person whom you can truely share your life with back then.Originally posted by smudgey:even if you are, is he able to accept the "unchanged" you in his "evolved" state of mind?
Besides, his "evolved" state of mind which somehow hinders him from accepting your "unchanged" self shows he has plans and you most likely are not in it OR you are unable to catch up with him? He felt you are stagnant when he is moving. Dunno.
Being unchanged... perhaps its the thinking of being "unchanged" that has infact CHANGED the "unchanged" person such that the partner saw it and realised he/she/it is not the exact person he/she/it supposed to love? -
Really..? How come I can't totally agree...?Originally posted by M©+square:Good discussion going on, keep it up.
Hope to see more forumers participating and provide their viewpoints as well.
Cheers
Though I might be seeing part of what you might be seeing...? -
I enjoy seeing thesis and lengthy post.Originally posted by Devil1976:Really..? How come I can't totally agree...?
Though I might be seeing part of what you might be seeing...?
It's good reference/profiling for the future.
Cheers -
So indeed we're a partial of what like minds might be thinking the same...?Originally posted by M©+square:I enjoy seeing thesis and lengthy post.
It's good reference/profiling for the future.
Cheers
Though I just personally thought I've seen enough of much. Some discussions might come with a certain price... Another thought is that though the TS might not be active anymore, it's still not nice and rationale to hi-jet this topic into a totally different form of discussion...?
Though I'll have to admit that I'm guilty too for crapping in here.. -
Originally posted by dokono:
In fact, the answer is no.
The reason I say it's a strategy is because the girl still cry and confuse the guy. So sweet of you to cry even though you do the dumping? And then the guy gets confused that she still likes him. You know, when the guy does the dumping, people will say he's a bastard. But when the girl does the dumping, people say he neglected her. So she's always the good guy forever? haha...
You are hurt even more because you have to look like the bad guy? You care about your face. haha...You are not hurt. You don't even care about the relationship anymore. But I'd rather you do it so the guy can face rejection properly and look for a new girl, rather than staying with someone who don't love him.
Allow me to ask you a question: when you decide to end a relationship, do you look for a new target? Or soon after, you already have one?
doko
The sad actuality is that I spent the next 6 months watching movies all by myself... -
Yup. A painful but necessary choice.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Relationship is a choice, likewise, breaking up is also a choice.
