Am I too lousy?
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Hi guys, I was always looking around in Aunt Agony and seeing people with their emotion problems. Never expected 1 day I would need to post here too.
I was with my gf for 3 years plus. Our character is very different. I don't know how to describe the differences, but we are just plain different. I used to be a guy who is like very easy going 1. So she used to complain that I am not gentlemen etc. So I tried to changed by doing things like opening doors for her, carrying her heavy stuff for her even if she didn't ask me to. She also changed in her own way.
Then recently for the past few months, we will always be quarreling over the slightest issue. Like we have different opinions on things also can quarrel.
So is over all this small minor quarrels that I know that she actually know she got so much unhappiness about me. Eg, she thinks I am still not gentlemen enough, I not sweet enough, not gentle enough. And everytime after all this quarrel, she will try to dump me. Even though sometimes is not my fault. So tried to pacify her and try to get her to patch up the relatioship back after all this small quarrels.
And today we quarreled yet again. This time over branded stuff. I told her, she buy branded stuff is for the brand and not for the quality as she claimed. Then she go use all her business knowledge she learnt in poly to 'attack' me back, and so the quarrel leads again to the same ending again. We 'broke up' again. Whether we will come back together again, I really don't know.
My point is that she keeps asking me to change. But I am I. It is my characteristic. Why keep asking me to change? Her ideal bf must be atleast Average looking(i don't think too highly of myself physically),
Must be a gentlemen(I am just a guy who don't treat female with special care. It is like I treat my female friends equally as my male friends. I won't go rush to open the door or what. I open if i am nearer to the door or something like that)
And she like guys with nice chest. (I used to be a Staff Sergeant in the NCC but after coming to poly, you should know what happen to the fitness and body shape)
Am I such a lousy bf? Why does anything I do seem to be wrong to her? I loved her alot but why I do seem so weak in relationship, or am I just plain lousy? I really don't know. I am really so sick of life. I can't get distinction for any of my poly subjects, relationship screwed up. I don't know what I want in life anymore. I feel like a loser. Someone unwanted, some worthless sucker.
I have thought about dying, but afraid to jump. Wanted to take pills, but worry of a slow painful death. Even ending my own life I am scared. I am really very useless and lousy...
Sorry for the long entry, I just don't know where to voice out my feelings anymore. -
Is it worth it dying over a girl
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find someone who will love u for wat u are......
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WOW. YOU ARE A FIRST YEAR SP STUDENT! CONGRATS TO MAKING SP YOUR FIRST CHOICE!
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I would listen to her if i were you. She knows...Originally posted by p0610465:she thinks I am still not gentlemen enough, I not sweet enough, not gentle enough.
Golden rule of shopping with girlfriend: Do Not QUESTION what she buys!Originally posted by p0610465:And today we quarreled yet again. This time over branded stuff. I told her, she buy branded stuff is for the brand and not for the quality as she claimed.
Its landed me and alot of guys in the sh!thouse
She doesn't want you to change. She just doesn't want you to be a jerkOriginally posted by p0610465:My point is that she keeps asking me to change. But I am I. It is my characteristic. Why keep asking me to change?
This is the problem. If you treat your GF like you treat your friends. Then technically she won't be a GF but just a friend. So naturally your GF would be pissed.Originally posted by p0610465:Must be a gentlemen(I am just a guy who don't treat female with special care. It is like I treat my female friends equally as my male friends.
I won't say lousy. But you need alot of adjustment when it comes to girls.Originally posted by p0610465:Am I such a lousy bf? -
'Must be a gentlemen(I am just a guy who don't treat female with special care. It is like I treat my female friends equally as my male friends'
u must know the diff between female n male..
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+1Originally posted by Mysteria:Is it worth it dying over a girl -
I am in Aeronautical Engineering. You?Originally posted by shade343:WOW. YOU ARE A FIRST YEAR SP STUDENT! CONGRATS TO MAKING SP YOUR FIRST CHOICE!
I did thought about whether it is worth dying for her. But 3 years of love, it is just so hard to let go just like that.. Sometimes death is a very tempting solution to all the problems I face. I may sound like a coward but it is the only way I know how to end all my problems. -
I doubt she wants you to change your whole personality to suit her. In the beginning, she likes you as who you are, remember ?
But along the way, pay attention to her needs and try to give in if it doesn't take u a whole lot of effots to this.
girls can be bothersome and most of the times, whine to get their ways or attention. -
What would happen to the next girls in your life?
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Woman marries man hoping he'll change, but he never does. Man marries woman hoping she'll never change, but she always does (for the worse).
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Im in Agricultural engineeringOriginally posted by p0610465:I am in Aeronautical Engineering. You?
I did thought about whether it is worth dying for her. But 3 years of love, it is just so hard to let go just like that.. Sometimes death is a very tempting solution to all the problems I face. I may sound like a coward but it is the only way I know how to end all my problems.
hmm, is your gf older than you? If she says that she buys branded goods for its quality, you can always counter back by saying made in china is good quality ah?
Its irresponsible to die becos of this shiT. Your parenst spend so much money educating you and even paying $2200 for your poly fees and you want to die now all becos you cant find a way out?
Problems, like exams, are never permanent. besides that, shldnt you be studying now? Term test started and exams nxt week start liao... -
over expectation..
she demands so much for u, but is she a gd gf?
if u can't even be urself in a r/s.. then i think no point carrying on lor..
coz u are slowly losing yourself. -
I said the exact thing that china goods can have the same quality and this led to the worst part of the quarrel.Originally posted by shade343:Im in Agricultural engineering
hmm, is your gf older than you? If she says that she buys branded goods for its quality, you can always counter back by saying made in china is good quality ah?
Its irresponsible to die becos of this shiT. Your parenst spend so much money educating you and even paying $2200 for your poly fees and you want to die now all becos you cant find a way out?
Problems, like exams, are never permanent. besides that, shldnt you be studying now? Term test started and exams nxt week start liao...
My parents do spent alot of money on me. But if we think from another perspection, when I die, won't they be saving alot of money for the future?
Ya, exams are coming, you sure know aeronautical engineering students all very kiasu 1. class competition very fierce. so stress is there. I aim not to pass, but to get distinction for all my subjects. sounds very kiasu but I am aiming for uni entry through poly. So i need to get as many distinctions as possible over the 3 years. -
Even if you think china goods same quality, she may not have the same thinking so you can't force that idea on her.Originally posted by p0610465:I said the exact thing that china goods can have the same quality and this led to the worst part of the quarrel.
My parents do spent alot of money on me. But if we think from another perspection, when I die, won't they be saving alot of money for the future?
Shopping is women's territory
By telling her that you only impeded on her thus the quarrel
Look don't say stupid things like parents save money when you die.
If parents are all the same, they would rather spend all their money if it meant bringing you back from the dead.
If you die they would suffer the most. Do you want them to suffer?
Suicide is the loser's way out. -
my bf used to tease me over what i want to buy, either clothes or accessories. He will say "wah, this piece looks so cheena, do u want to think twice before buying ?"
actually his pupose is to curb me from spending over the limit on clothes or simply my "wants". If your gf understands your good intentions, I reckon she will think not once, not twice but thrice before buying branded goods. -
Yes I know I am loser.Originally posted by Ignatiaus:Suicide is the loser's way out. -
your perspective is flawed becos your parents arent going to keep spending money on you. You are almost reaching the point where you have to pay them back.Originally posted by p0610465:I said the exact thing that china goods can have the same quality and this led to the worst part of the quarrel.
My parents do spent alot of money on me. But if we think from another perspection, when I die, won't they be saving alot of money for the future?
Ya, exams are coming, you sure know aeronautical engineering students all very kiasu 1. class competition very fierce. so stress is there. I aim not to pass, but to get distinction for all my subjects. sounds very kiasu but I am aiming for uni entry through poly. So i need to get as many distinctions as possible over the 3 years.
how about you think in this perspective, your parents already invested so much money in you. You have yet to repay them back, but you decided to take the easy way out by suiciding and not paying them your dues.
Oh, you shld try to score a GPA of 3.8 and above, otherwise its will be very difficult to find a good ITP company who will accept you. Most of my friends in DARE, forced to go non related companies to do their ITP(Ikea, golden village ect ect) all becos their GPA was less than 3.8...anyway, most ppl in MM seems to be scoring above 3.0 for their GPA...
Maybe you can tell your gf taht is cheaper to buy something cheap and change it after 2 years den to buy something triple the price and change it after 3years...but maybe your gf PMS tt day...also sway... -
Then I guess I am still alittle far from the target. My 1st semester's GPA was 3.708. But this sem I don't seem to do on par with my 1st semester.Originally posted by shade343:Oh, you shld try to score a GPA of 3.8 and above, otherwise its will be very difficult to find a good ITP company who will accept you. Most of my friends in DARE, forced to go non related companies to do their ITP(Ikea, golden village ect ect) all becos their GPA was less than 3.8...anyway, most ppl in MM seems to be scoring above 3.0 for their GPA...
Maybe you can tell your gf taht is cheaper to buy something cheap and change it after 2 years den to buy something triple the price and change it after 3years...but maybe your gf PMS tt day...also sway...
She tells me that her target/goal is to buy all branded stuff. I dono what to say.. -
If i was u i will dump her first. This type of gf not worth having...I sure u r capable to have a better one.
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There isnt such thing as to worthy or not worthy in the context of love.Originally posted by soulwinner:If i was u i will dump her first. This type of gf not worth having...I sure u r capable to have a better one.
Everyone has their good points and short-comings. It is totally unfair to the girl if you were to judge based on her not so good points in this case.
Perhaps she has other good points that you are unaware of since you are not the TS himself.
To dump or not to is not your say, dude -
Hey have more confidence in yourself. She probably doesn't deserve you if she can't accept the good guy in you, and demands change that compromises your personal boundaries and beliefs. Suicide is never the solution to anything; it only creates more problems. Look around you and find strength in your friends. There will always be someone willing to help you. Talk to them. You must understand that you are not the only person with problems in this world. If you can stand up to your problems and overcome them, it will only make you stronger and ready to face other things in life.
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Hmm, oh work harder lor...anyway, is your gf from a rich family? If she is, she is entitled to spend on whatever she likes.Originally posted by p0610465:Then I guess I am still alittle far from the target. My 1st semester's GPA was 3.708. But this sem I don't seem to do on par with my 1st semester.
She tells me that her target/goal is to buy all branded stuff. I dono what to say.. -
Small Matter...
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Problem is not you. You are you. I would rather you live your life the way you want to than live someone else's way(in this case, your girlfriend).Originally posted by p0610465:Hi guys, I was always looking around in Aunt Agony and seeing people with their emotion problems. Never expected 1 day I would need to post here too.
I was with my gf for 3 years plus. Our character is very different. I don't know how to describe the differences, but we are just plain different. I used to be a guy who is like very easy going 1. So she used to complain that I am not gentlemen etc. So I tried to changed by doing things like opening doors for her, carrying her heavy stuff for her even if she didn't ask me to. She also changed in her own way.
Then recently for the past few months, we will always be quarreling over the slightest issue. Like we have different opinions on things also can quarrel.
So is over all this small minor quarrels that I know that she actually know she got so much unhappiness about me. Eg, she thinks I am still not gentlemen enough, I not sweet enough, not gentle enough. And everytime after all this quarrel, she will try to dump me. Even though sometimes is not my fault. So tried to pacify her and try to get her to patch up the relatioship back after all this small quarrels.
And today we quarreled yet again. This time over branded stuff. I told her, she buy branded stuff is for the brand and not for the quality as she claimed. Then she go use all her business knowledge she learnt in poly to 'attack' me back, and so the quarrel leads again to the same ending again. We 'broke up' again. Whether we will come back together again, I really don't know.
My point is that she keeps asking me to change. But I am I. It is my characteristic. Why keep asking me to change? Her ideal bf must be atleast Average looking(i don't think too highly of myself physically),
Must be a gentlemen(I am just a guy who don't treat female with special care. It is like I treat my female friends equally as my male friends. I won't go rush to open the door or what. I open if i am nearer to the door or something like that)
And she like guys with nice chest. (I used to be a Staff Sergeant in the NCC but after coming to poly, you should know what happen to the fitness and body shape)
Am I such a lousy bf? Why does anything I do seem to be wrong to her? I loved her alot but why I do seem so weak in relationship, or am I just plain lousy? I really don't know. I am really so sick of life. I can't get distinction for any of my poly subjects, relationship screwed up. I don't know what I want in life anymore. I feel like a loser. Someone unwanted, some worthless sucker.
I have thought about dying, but afraid to jump. Wanted to take pills, but worry of a slow painful death. Even ending my own life I am scared. I am really very useless and lousy...
Sorry for the long entry, I just don't know where to voice out my feelings anymore.
Going by your words, this relationship is going nowhere. I may be harsh but this girl is not good for you. If it's me, I would have got rid of her already, let alone beg her to come back to me. Can't you see? She's trying to get rid of you.
I shall repeat again, don't live a way just to please someone, not even your girlfriend/wife. You won't be happy eventually.
Take care of yourself. Your most important persons in your life is your parents/siblings/close friends.
doko