$ and love
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I met a divorced mum who brought her boy to singapore to school. They're from china. Days passed, mum & me felt in love. We behaved like a couple.
1 day, mum met someone- Singaporean divorced 40+ years old man.
He brought her gifts, gave her money, bought clothes & bicycle for the boy. Brought them out to shop etc.. Brought her to meet his working colleagues over dinner, to relatives' place.
Simply put, he is very keen to marry her.
Mum talked to me openly, about what the man did. She felt grateful, but she doesn't love him at present.
We both agreed that when days passed, love develops..
It seems that money speaks, rather than true love.
I am depressed because we love each other. I didn't treat her as good as what the man did- in the financial sense.
I appreciate constructive & helpful advice. No jokes please, for I am feeling really lousy.
Please. -
no cross-posting
continue the discussion in Bar forum -
bt suitable here ma.. nar alot of jokers.Originally posted by FireIce:no cross-posting
continue the discussion in Bar forum -
put it simply, the mum came to singapore for the child
hence the child is in the first place in her heart.
if u really love her, i think it is best to let go.
at least that guy can fulfill her financial needs n give her child a gd education.
well love is selfish, r u noble enough? -
i think the china woman is greedy but oso she needs to think for her daughter n basically their main motive of coming here is bcoz of money.
i think u might be able to find someone along the way, she might be ur passerby in life.
human is selfish.
conclusion: not worth it n move on ba -
I have gone through the frustrating period of trying to love somebody, and when it's not reciprocal, then I guess it's best to let it go. Instead, focus your attention on other things that is actually more fruitful. Please don't go into self pity mode, nobody is going to pity you and feeling sorry for yourself is one of the most wasteful ways to spend your life on. For me, I focus on my work and my partners, of course when you do work that you love, and you have alot of money and have a good future, women comes to you automatically. I'm sorry to be so crude but that's the reality sometimes, and when you are rich, then you have another problem, which is whether someone is truly sincered or after your money, that's why the best people I had in my life are those that stucked with me from the times I was poor. And may I suggest that if a girl choose money over you, then she is most probably not the kind of girl you deserved, it's better you know the truth now than somewhere into a marriage and she left you for the dollar sign. -
FIGHT.
if yout think you can bring her more happiness.
If she dun like u. Just say sayonara and be her fren. -
i feel that sometimes in a r/s is not just about love, is about reality.. especially for her case...
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Money aside, love or a relationship requires and effort not just sight it seems the other guy put in more effort than you.. or you haven't mentioned if the effort you put in is more than the other guy...
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You have up to tomorrow to decide whether you wanna keep your thread in AA or in the bar (http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=235325). After which if you still have not stated, I shall close this thread for you.Originally posted by dont know much:I met a divorced mum who brought her boy to singapore to school. They're from china. Days passed, mum & me felt in love. We behaved like a couple.
1 day, mum met someone- Singaporean divorced 40+ years old man.
He brought her gifts, gave her money, bought clothes & bicycle for the boy. Brought them out to shop etc.. Brought her to meet his working colleagues over dinner, to relatives' place.
Simply put, he is very keen to marry her.
Mum talked to me openly, about what the man did. She felt grateful, but she doesn't love him at present.
We both agreed that when days passed, love develops..
It seems that money speaks, rather than true love.
I am depressed because we love each other. I didn't treat her as good as what the man did- in the financial sense.
I appreciate constructive & helpful advice. No jokes please, for I am feeling really lousy.
Please.
Pls note that cross-posting is not encouraged in Sgforums. Should you decide to have your thread in Bar closed and this thread is AA opened (after it has been closed and should you've been too occupied to be around), you can always private message me about it. -
'Feelings' definitely can developed over time.. But it's of whether they're more of a 'positive' or 'negative' one...? And also, they need not be that form of 'love' we commonly talk about in BGR...Originally posted by dont know much:I met a divorced mum who brought her boy to singapore to school. They're from china. Days passed, mum & me felt in love. We behaved like a couple.
1 day, mum met someone- Singaporean divorced 40+ years old man.
He brought her gifts, gave her money, bought clothes & bicycle for the boy. Brought them out to shop etc.. Brought her to meet his working colleagues over dinner, to relatives' place.
Simply put, he is very keen to marry her.
Mum talked to me openly, about what the man did. She felt grateful, but she doesn't love him at present.
We both agreed that when days passed, love develops..
It seems that money speaks, rather than true love.
I am depressed because we love each other. I didn't treat her as good as what the man did- in the financial sense.
I appreciate constructive & helpful advice. No jokes please, for I am feeling really lousy.
Please.
Ultimately, she'll still have to decide for what she wants.. And of course, what her circumstance allows her to.... -
Err...so you are poorer than the 40ish divorced man. But for the China lady, think she also has to consider her kid's interest lor. Not only her own. Education is expensive in Singapore. Er....somemore she is in foreign land, $ is more practical.
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it is quite true that if you have a lot of $ , women come to u. But you have to differentiate which type of women you want and as a girlfriend.
Girlfriend and wife is different things too.
As women, they prefer a guy which can support them so $ do play apart and something it makes a different in both the current life.
Doesn't mean that no $ , no love. It is good to have $, love at the same time. It is less stressful.
But I think that love still play a heavier roles, both play a heavy roles, because we human have to live and eat.
if you want ur girlfriend to have a better life, you have to work extra hard. -
We're still in touch, but minimal. Because old man behaves so protectively of her.
She's married.
I felt bitter watching my loved one riding into the horizon-sunset with an older man. Like shit. Like a piece of rose on a piece of ..erm, shit? -
Thats sad, the one you love married to someone else.
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But first. She like the old man?? or it's because of $$$.
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dun b so mad abt it alrdy...shes married, she made her choice...move on...u cnt reali blame her, as said by some others, shes from a foreign land...shes a single mum...she has to b practical...life is like that...if she reali loved u, she may b giving up ur love to see whats best for her child...when ur a single mum, ur child is ur world...move on, ull haf other good girls waiting for u tooOriginally posted by dont know much:We're still in touch, but minimal. Because old man behaves so protectively of her.
She's married.
I felt bitter watching my loved one riding into the horizon-sunset with an older man. Like shit. Like a piece of rose on a piece of ..erm, shit? -
If you really love her then set her free...
At least you know that she will not be bothered with financial problems if she is with the older man...
Utimately... let her make her own choice... to stay or to go is up to her...
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Depends ultimately on the motivation of the woman. If she were to be materialistic and the divorcee has the money to let her get whatever the materials she desires, then money talks.
But if a woman is not materialistic, a rich man also has the advantage over someone without the money because his wealth gives him opportunities to get closer to the woman though he doesn't win the woman's heart yet at this time. With time, there's always that possibility........ -
Exactly. Money speaks. I lost her then.Originally posted by :Depends ultimately on the motivation of the woman. If she were to be materialistic and the divorcee has the money to let her get whatever the materials she desires, then money talks.
But if a woman is not materialistic, a rich man also has the advantage over someone without the money because his wealth gives him opportunities to get closer to the woman though he doesn't win the woman's heart yet at this time. With time, there's always that possibility........ -
china people wat
all the same 1
eyes made of $$ 1 -
I agree with DailyFreeGames and Sakuraflower.
Apart from that, how long have you known this chinese lady for? Many relationships are a trade off. An exchange of what each has to offer. In her case, she could've had love and comfort from you, but have chosen security and comfort provided by her current man.
Build your own life and they were right, with confidence and cash, plenty of women will kiss at your feet. Someone else will come along for you. Occupy yourself with sports, stay fit because it sharpens your mind and builds your level of confidence. Make new friends and move on because not even the greatest romantic affairs end in marriage and it isn't necessary for this to conclude in marriage. Even if you did end up with her, along with it comes a new set of troubles. How would you afford 2 extra mouths?
You may not like the idea of how sketchy standards such as wealth play a part when selecting life partners but prime examples are out there everyday. It's just the practical side of living.
Take this as a fleeting experience, people come and go in our lives, it's no big deal. Life is short, just enjoy yourself and date more of others. -
women are biologically hard-wired to seek out the mate who can best provide for them .... it's a truism of life ... people may perceive women from certain places to be more rapacious than others, but that's just because of the difference between the haves and the have-nots ....
singaporean women can afford to be "less" materialistic cos they are already materially well-off .... others are not there yet ....
but hey ! ... men can take heart in knowing that no matter how physically disgusting one looks, at long as you have the manna, you'll be able to find a mate ! ...