One-sided relationship...
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...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc... -
Hi, I fully understand what you said. SadOriginally posted by wuming78:...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc...
!!!! I experience this with friends, family members and bf. It's kind of sensitive to bring up such issue, but it is not impossible to sort this out (depends on the party). If you can think of ways to communicate this concern in the way that the other party if he/she is open and does not get hurt, by all means go ahead. May be do it indirectly first and see how it goes. Different people different personalities so there is no one method that works on all people. 
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This will go on until the giver is DRIED up. That will be the time when the giver cracked. Depending on the response as to how the giver can no longer gives:Originally posted by wuming78:...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc...
1. The receiver bo hew and life goes on.
2. The receiver gives back.
3. The receiver starts to question the relationship.
4. With a bit of 3, the receiver walks out on the relationship altogether.
5. The receiver starts spreading words about the giver being in lousy form and may affect the giver's relationship with other people.
I can't tink of more liao.
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i think r/s is goes both ways. When I give to someone (girl/friend/family)... I don't expect them to do anything extraordinary for me but to treat me as nice as I treat them. To me, little things count... remembering birthdays... keeping in contact and stuff like this... If I realised the other side totally, absoultely don't give me that little bit of love I need... then it'll not work for me.
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i think this is very normal.. usually in whatever r/s.. normally is one taker and one receiver. is very hard to find a r/s that both person give and take..
But i feel that if the taker really appreciate what the receiver do for her/him, he will in return do something back.. may not be obvious thou'.
But everyone shld rem.. not to take things overly for granted. -
Maybe what you give... the other party does not want...
... just a random, irrelevant thought... -
when one feels no move love between him/her n the partner/fren then its time to give up...Originally posted by wuming78:...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc... -
I don't mind being the one to keep on giving, but I at the very least hope that she will appreciate the things I do for her. If ur friend/gf/family etc do not appreciate it, then stop giving. Its that simple.Originally posted by wuming78:...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc... -
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everyone have their limits...Originally posted by wuming78:...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc...
some ppl's limit is higher then others...
it depends on when you have reached yours.
and when you have reached yours.... when u have ren enough,
It depends on what you wanna do about it to change things....
1) do you wanna confront the other party?
2) do you wanna just stop giving? -
i'm in almost similar sh|t situation... haiz...
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Exactly how I felt. I am willing to do anything for her.. but you know, after some hardwork, I do expect her to say something to let me know that whatever I've done means something to her and she appricated the effort. I've tried to communicate this idea to my girlfriend.. but it seems like she will forget a few days later...Originally posted by nanren4ever:I don't mind being the one to keep on giving, but I at the very least hope that she will appreciate the things I do for her. If ur friend/gf/family etc do not appreciate it, then stop giving. Its that simple. -
it really dun feel good to be taken for granted or not appreciated.
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should we just stop giving because the other party does not seem to reciprocate? i certainly dont think so... i will not bear to stop a relationship just like that..
i would at least want to find out why he/she is not reciprocating.
but that is the tough part...
i always remind myself that i am sure the other party knows. from time to time, some acts seem to show appreciation although they could be random acts too. but really... to just stop giving like that? its hard... -
Originally posted by wuming78:should we just stop giving because the other party does not seem to reciprocate? i certainly dont think so... i will not bear to stop a relationship just like that..
i would at least want to find out why he/she is not reciprocating.
but that is the tough part...
i always remind myself that i am sure the other party knows. from time to time, some acts seem to show appreciation although they could be random acts too. but really... to just stop giving like that? its hard...
You can do all sort of analyzing, but ultimately sometimes, the truth is so hurting that we chose not to believe in the reason/s?
Cheers -
sometimes 'no go' means 'no go'... you don't ever get an answer ever. Live and let live... the world never stop moving for a second... only you stopped.Originally posted by wuming78:should we just stop giving because the other party does not seem to reciprocate? i certainly dont think so... i will not bear to stop a relationship just like that..
i would at least want to find out why he/she is not reciprocating.
but that is the tough part...
i always remind myself that i am sure the other party knows. from time to time, some acts seem to show appreciation although they could be random acts too. but really... to just stop giving like that? its hard... -
sometimes i think about "disappearing" for a while...
relationships are so tiring... -
yah, it is very sickening... some people just expect you to foot the bill all the time. Among Europeans, everyone automatically go dutch... that can save the friendship.Originally posted by wuming78:...where one party constantly gives and the other party receives but does not reciprocate.
although it is said that in giving one should not expect any reciprocations, is this realistic?
how long can the giving party continue to give without reciprocation before he/she becomes tired and gives up?
how can he/she ask the other party not to take him/her for granted? should he/she even tell the other party that he/she would like some form of reciprocation?
anyway this can be any form of personal relationship - friendship, bgr, etc... -
I have a question.Originally posted by wuming78:should we just stop giving because the other party does not seem to reciprocate? i certainly dont think so... i will not bear to stop a relationship just like that..
i would at least want to find out why he/she is not reciprocating.
but that is the tough part...
i always remind myself that i am sure the other party knows. from time to time, some acts seem to show appreciation although they could be random acts too. but really... to just stop giving like that? its hard...
Why are you in this relationship? -
Does she realize you've been putting in a lot?Originally posted by wuming78:should we just stop giving because the other party does not seem to reciprocate? i certainly dont think so... i will not bear to stop a relationship just like that..
i would at least want to find out why he/she is not reciprocating.
but that is the tough part...
i always remind myself that i am sure the other party knows. from time to time, some acts seem to show appreciation although they could be random acts too. but really... to just stop giving like that? its hard...
Have you really been putting in a lot?
Perhaps she has been doing her part in her own style which may not be so easily noticeable?
Perhaps you think you've been giving a lot but it's actually an exaggerated view?
I'm just putting across possible instances that may not have crossed your mind.
I feel that disappearing acts don't really help. True, it may make the other party cherish you more. But is it a temporary effect? Will solving the problem at its root be a better way out?
As to WHY he is in this relationship... Love has no reason!
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Really? Do not try to answer a question for another if that question is not meant for you... You could just be misleading him....?Originally posted by Moon Pixie:As to WHY he is in this relationship... Love has no reason!
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One of the common flaws we exhibit in most relationships is that often at times, we take each other for granted and often only learn to appreciate what we had after we lost it.
I am not sure exactly how involved both of you are in this relationship, also i dont often comment too much on BGRs. But if you feel you both are in it for the long run, then the relationship is both about committment as it is about shared responsiblities towards each other. In layman terms: Give and take and often striking a compromise.
You can try to approach her to speak about it plainly, however if she isnt serious/interested in talking about the topic/relationship, then i will be doubtful if such a single sided relationship will bear fruit. But this is not to say such relationships dont exist or last long and infact some of the most enduring relationships can tend to be blind delication to the other party. However the question then would be if you feel that person could be you.
Best of luck.
L.i.P -
sigh.
i am so tired. -
Yes it is very tiring to be the one giving in & sacrificing all the time.
U need to make your stand.
Have a good talk with her. Let her know she cannot take u for granted.
She need to reciprocate.
If there is no change in her behaviour, then u should seriously consider giving her up. U might have to face the truth that she is not into u.
Who knows, u might find someone else who will appreciate all your efforts!
Most girls like a caring bf., she is a fool to give u up. -
Then tell the person how you feel loh. You cannot always give mah. How are you btw?Originally posted by wuming78:sigh.
i am so tired.
(besides being tired...)