Is chastity still valued?
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I would prefer to say, she allowed it to happen - all in the name of love.Originally posted by browniebaobao:u are already being controlled by him.
Is he too good a manipulator?
No.
So the next question is for kuri to think through. -
he's threatening me with suicide..i dunno how to deal with him or wat he wants,he says we hav problem he's meeting me after work and he doesnt intend to live past today.i really hope i can stop him from hurting himself.i alr told him there r many ard him who loves him and i love him.if we hav to part ways i never want any harm to come to him.i dunno wat to do alr.wat shd i do now?
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suicide for wat?Originally posted by kuri:he's threatening me with suicide..i dunno how to deal with him or wat he wants,he says we hav problem he's meeting me after work and he doesnt intend to live past today.i really hope i can stop him from hurting himself.i alr told him there r many ard him who loves him and i love him.if we hav to part ways i never want any harm to come to him.i dunno wat to do alr.wat shd i do now?
that he's feeling terrible bcos he dun get any sex?
or u initiated a break?
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i think he's under treatment for depression currently so he can be serious bout it.i dunno how to help him.i m really worried bout his condition now.seems like he's parting ways with me but i'm even more scared for his well being.i dunno if i shd just leave him like that even if he ask me to.he had attempted suicide before he met me i m really afraid of what he might do to himself now.
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man, tats so childish!!! wad kind of man is he if he cun even take care of himself??? how is he to take care of u n protect u in future???
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i was starting to seriously think if we should just call it quits for the better of both of us..but now like that..i dunno wat to do..to break or not..n either way how to..i've to be really careful bout things given his state of mind now..i really dun wan him to isolate himself n indulge in self-harm..i really care bout him.i started thinkin bout a break not cos there's no more love but to keep the kind of love we hav now is inflicting too much misery upon us n isnt logically sustainable.
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long pain might as well short pain.
just do it!! -
i do NOT like pple who threaten with suicide
you THINK he is under treatment....? go find out if he is. tell his parents that you think his condition is deteriorating. tell them that he is talking and thinking about suicide.
and i suggest you break up. -
If chastity is always in yr mind, then u will neglect the other factor that is more important in a r/s, and thus u may miss the right person u looking for.
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I agree with you. Suicide?Originally posted by udontknowme:i do NOT like pple who threaten with suicide
you THINK he is under treatment....? go find out if he is. tell his parents that you think his condition is deteriorating. tell them that he is talking and thinking about suicide.
and i suggest you break up.
Aww come on. over what? no sex?
I think he is just a very good manipulator. His objective at the of the day? Just to have sex with you. He has not given up though he claimed he has. Think about it. Why does he get irritated or annoyed with you so easily? Because he cant reach his objective. If he truly loves you, why will he treat you like that? I wonder how he looks like, cause from my impression of him here, he seems like a real loser. no offense to kuri though. -
You just had to hook up with an emo guy ...
It's not about the sex anymore. Your boy has problems with himself, his depression, his dependency issues. He's not ready for a relationship. You may decide to be a friend and help him out but know now that it won't be easy, the solution is not sex, and you must be prepared for alot more emotional stress .
If you decide to walk away, that's fine too, it's not abandonment. He needs to work some things out by himself. -
ya it's much more complicated than that.. n i guess way beyond what a couple typically faces so early in the relationship..i m really ill equiped to deal with what i m facing now.. sad to say i dunno how to help him..tried to give him comfort and all but seems to only work for a short spurs of time n things seem to be taking a turn for the worse now.. perhaps i've given him stress n worsen his condition but i m human with emotional needs too in a relationship i cant just disappear when he doesnt need me n only to b always ard as and when he does. i really love him. i wish i could the one who can hold his hands and walk through this dark journey of his life into light with him. but even if i know we cant work out n he's not the sort that keeps his ex as a frd i would still try my best to help him out so long as i can. it's just now i dun know how.Originally posted by choco B:You just had to hook up with an emo guy ...
It's not about the sex anymore. Your boy has problems with himself, his depression, his dependency issues. He's not ready for a relationship. You may decide to be a friend and help him out but know now that it won't be easy, the solution is not sex, and you must be prepared for alot more emotional stress .
If you decide to walk away, that's fine too, it's not abandonment. He needs to work some things out by himself.
i'll b heartbroken but i wont b bitter against him and if walking out now can ensure his safety n well-being i would no matter how much i cant bear to part with him.i genuinely want the best for him.n his well being is definitely on top of the priority list n at this moment well exceeds that of our relationship.
incessant tears r blinding my eyes..why do things hav to be so complicated.. -
Did you previously already knew that he's having depression and is under treatment for it or has it only came to your knowledge lately..? How long have you both been together again...?Originally posted by kuri:i think he's under treatment for depression currently so he can be serious bout it.i dunno how to help him.i m really worried bout his condition now.seems like he's parting ways with me but i'm even more scared for his well being.i dunno if i shd just leave him like that even if he ask me to.he had attempted suicide before he met me i m really afraid of what he might do to himself now.
How did you learned about him having depression?
Personal advice for now... If you think you're both not compatible, then perhaps you should really leave him for the better... If you can and it won't complicate the situation too much, try to stay around and help him a little...
For all that matters, I would agree with udontknowme... At least let her family members know what is going on for him now and have them take the heavier burden in taking care of him... -
Try to find out more about his depression... i.e. What other problems he might have already had in life.... Find out from his family how long has he been like that..... etc.Originally posted by kuri:ya it's much more complicated than that.. n i guess way beyond what a couple typically faces so early in the relationship..i m really ill equiped to deal with what i m facing now.. sad to say i dunno how to help him..tried to give him comfort and all but seems to only work for a short spurs of time n things seem to be taking a turn for the worse now.. perhaps i've given him stress n worsen his condition but i m human with emotional needs too in a relationship i cant just disappear when he doesnt need me n only to b always ard as and when he does. i really love him. i wish i could the one who can hold his hands and walk through this dark journey of his life into light with him. but even if i know we cant work out n he's not the sort that keeps his ex as a frd i would still try my best to help him out so long as i can. it's just now i dun know how.
i'll b heartbroken but i wont b bitter against him and if walking out now can ensure his safety n well-being i would no matter how much i cant bear to part with him.i genuinely want the best for him.n his well being is definitely on top of the priority list n at this moment well exceeds that of our relationship.
incessant tears r blinding my eyes..why do things hav to be so complicated.. -
Kuri to be honest with you. I feel that you are a very good girl cos you really cares about your bf a lot. I just wish that there is more girls like you around for the gd guys out there. Sadly we live in a very realistic world.Originally posted by kuri:ya it's much more complicated than that.. n i guess way beyond what a couple typically faces so early in the relationship..i m really ill equiped to deal with what i m facing now.. sad to say i dunno how to help him..tried to give him comfort and all but seems to only work for a short spurs of time n things seem to be taking a turn for the worse now.. perhaps i've given him stress n worsen his condition but i m human with emotional needs too in a relationship i cant just disappear when he doesnt need me n only to b always ard as and when he does. i really love him. i wish i could the one who can hold his hands and walk through this dark journey of his life into light with him. but even if i know we cant work out n he's not the sort that keeps his ex as a frd i would still try my best to help him out so long as i can. it's just now i dun know how.
i'll b heartbroken but i wont b bitter against him and if walking out now can ensure his safety n well-being i would no matter how much i cant bear to part with him.i genuinely want the best for him.n his well being is definitely on top of the priority list n at this moment well exceeds that of our relationship.
incessant tears r blinding my eyes..why do things hav to be so complicated..
We cannot have the best of both worlds. You cannot save someone who is using death as a way of keep you from running away. You have done your part and is time to let go. If not it will not end.
Is up to you cos is your life. YOu should decide how you want to live your life not others. -
where is he getting treatment for depression? ask him to show u the proof? Did you know abt this when you two get together?Originally posted by kuri:i think he's under treatment for depression currently so he can be serious bout it.i dunno how to help him.i m really worried bout his condition now.seems like he's parting ways with me but i'm even more scared for his well being.i dunno if i shd just leave him like that even if he ask me to.he had attempted suicide before he met me i m really afraid of what he might do to himself now.
I do not think this guy is ready for a r/s. First he needs to learn how to love himself first, and get over his depression issue. The longer you are with him, the more likely you are to become as depressed as him.
Sometimes loving someone is about letting go. -
Originally posted by udontknowme:you THINK he is under treatment....? go find out if he is. tell his parents that you think his condition is deteriorating. tell them that he is talking and thinking about suicide.Originally posted by choco B:It's not about the sex anymore. Your boy has problems with himself, his depression, his dependency issues. He's not ready for a relationship. You may decide to be a friend and help him out but know now that it won't be easy, the solution is not sex, and you must be prepared for alot more emotional stress .
He needs to work some things out by himself.Originally posted by Devil1976:Did you previously already knew that he's having depression and is under treatment for it or has it only came to your knowledge lately..? How long have you both been together again...?
How did you learned about him having depression?
For all that matters, I would agree with udontknowme... At least let her family members know what is going on for him now and have them take the heavier burden in taking care of him...
Try to find out more about his depression... i.e. What other problems he might have already had in life.... Find out from his family how long has he been like that..... etc.Originally posted by zeny:We cannot have the best of both worlds. You cannot save someone who is using death as a way of keep you from running away. You have done your part.
As with the many forumites whom I agreed and quoted, you should find out his condition and appointment with the doctor for the depression diagnosis. You should talk to his parents too. This is not your own issue already. Suicidal notions should be tackled by everyone who cared about him including his family and other friends.Originally posted by rainee:where is he getting treatment for depression? ask him to show u the proof? Did you know abt this when you two get together?
I do not think this guy is ready for a r/s. First he needs to learn how to love himself first, and get over his depression issue. The longer you are with him, the more likely you are to become as depressed as him.
Sometimes loving someone is about letting go.
You alone can only do so much, get help from his family and other friends who cared about him.
As for your relationship 'problem' with him, I suggest you put it aside and focus on getting him back on the right track. Get help. -
i dunno abt tis fellow forumites...but i feel tat kuri is onli interested in pouring out her problems to us but nt interested in the solutions we give her...look at the way she responds to our posts...i get impression she juz wan a listening ear nt solutions...no offence, kuri
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He just smsed me to say he wont meet me anymore. say he'll transfer the money he owes me back to my account by 9pm and not bothering him with my overbearing attitude, he just wants to die far away from me. i didnt want to mention this previously but which girl would lend her 2 month bf atm card n wasnt even mad when he had to give her back he explained n told her he spent every dollar inside? and after he got more than the means to return me he dragged on for 3-4 weeks. honestly i doubt any girl i know would do that for a bf she just known 4 months back. i did that. he's taking the incredible amount of trust i put in him for granted. I had to stamp my feet today n tell him enough is enough. If i m not getting it back today i m going to look for him at his place.
I retorted his death threat. Tried so much positive stroking doesnt work. I had to scold him and said i wouldnt bother him anymore,told him to think over it himself. He ought to stop treating death as an escape button it isnt. Learn to be responsible for his own actions and life. Finally he smsed me sorry he had too much troubles.
At last his whiny i want to die attitude died out for now. since he so wants it that way n i hav no better way of being ultra sensitive to his fragile psyche while dealing with our issues i shall just leave him alone for now. both of us really need to do some quiet thinking. if he's unrepentant i m taking off. my heart's crying no but my mind says i hav to go, this cant go on forever. my love may be forgiving but there's only so much i can take. i m only willing to give him one more chance for all that we've been thru. guess i'll have a good gauge of my answer at 9. -
sorry things had to end this way for you...
erm...i still think you ought to let someone else know about his suicide threats.
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. -
u gave him all ur money?
luckily u din give him ur chastity lor..
so wat is he after? i hope u get a clearer picture now. -
After reading this I really wish I could slap your bf so hard that he will remember how well you had treated him. 1 word he "sucks"Originally posted by kuri:He just smsed me to say he wont meet me anymore. say he'll transfer the money he owes me back to my account by 9pm and not bothering him with my overbearing attitude, he just wants to die far away from me. i didnt want to mention this previously but which girl would lend her 2 month bf atm card n wasnt even mad when he had to give her back he explained n told her he spent every dollar inside? and after he got more than the means to return me he dragged on for 3-4 weeks. honestly i doubt any girl i know would do that for a bf she just known 4 months back. i did that. he's taking the incredible amount of trust i put in him for granted. I had to stamp my feet today n tell him enough is enough. If i m not getting it back today i m going to look for him at his place.
I retorted his death threat. Tried so much positive stroking doesnt work. I had to scold him and said i wouldnt bother him anymore,told him to think over it himself. He ought to stop treating death as an escape button it isnt. Learn to be responsible for his own actions and actions. Finally he smsed me sorry he had too much troubles.
At last his whiny i want to die attitude died out for now. since he so wants it that way n i hav no better way of being ultra sensitive to his fragile psyche while dealing with our issues i shall just leave him alone for now. both of us really need to do some quiet thinking. if he's unrepentant i m taking off. my heart's crying no but my mind says i hav to go, this cant go on forever. my love may be forgiving but there's only so much i can take. i m only willing to give him one more chance for all that we've been thru. guess i'll have a good gauge of my answer at 9.
I have seen with my own eyes that girls spent their bf's money like crazy and when the bf have no money, they will lend it to their bf in order to buy clothes for themselves.
Shakes head, What had this world been coming to. Good girls with wrong guys. Bad Girls with good guys.
I issue a challenge to your so call "good bf" Since he wanted to died so much why not donate 1 of his kidney to someone who needs him more than him.
He sure chicken out one lar...
Kuri when you say give one more chance say it and mean what you say.
If you do not mean it then wats the point of saying.
Action speak louder than words.
Just Break up. -
hi lovely BBBOriginally posted by browniebaobao:u gave him all ur money?
luckily u din give him ur chastity lor..
so wat is he after? i hope u get a clearer picture now.
have you ever seen the female version of this type of guys? -
in red, HUH???Originally posted by zeny:After reading this I really wish I could slap your bf so hard that he will remember how well you had treated him. 1 word he "sucks"
I have seen with my own eyes that girls spent their bf's money like crazy and when the bf have no money, they will lend it to their bf in order to buy clothes for themselves.
Shakes head, What had this world been coming to. Good girls with wrong guys. Bad Girls with good guys.
I issue a challenge to your so call "good bf" Since he wanted to died so much why not donate 1 of his kidney to someone who needs him more than him.
He sure chicken out one lar...
Kuri when you say give one more chance say it and mean what you say.
If you do not mean it then wats the point of saying.
Action speak louder than words.
Just Break up. -
u mean girls who wana pian cai pian se ma?Originally posted by zeny:hi lovely BBB
have you ever seen the female version of this type of guys?
nope..