Is chastity still valued?
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Erm... I'm sorry... but don't mind me asking...Originally posted by browniebaobao:no la, i wun.
im a man but a girl at heart, cannot meh?
girl ar, be prepared that u might not be able to get the money back..
and if u really dun get it back, take it that u are buying a lesson, but could be quite a heavy price to u.
You're a transvestite ar? -
ytd nite he called me and we talked for some time, more like i was talking cos he kept quiet when i started getting serious bout our issues. after that he smsed me saying that if i hav decided to breakup he has no other choice but to let me go.but if it's up to him to decide he'll never let go,he said what matters most in a relationship is that the will to overcome all he's really hurt that i even hav thoughts of breaking up with him as it shows i lack that will.
he told me we only hav two problems one is sexuality and the other is our dominant characters. think my dude really has a bad habit of over-complicating things and over-simplifying our problems.
whatever it is when i just went to check my accounts just now i only got one thing to say at this moment.
shut the f*** up and give me back my money.
i've nvr been this mad or disappointed at anybody in my life.i m utterly disheartened.how much he loves me is crap if his actions keep proving otherwise.i dun f*** care he doesnt like ppl to call him in the morning anymore. i want this settled today. -
it's going to be over now he knows it too..why i still cant stop myself from crying...wat can i do to ease my grief..
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Time. Give yourself some time. It heals all wounds, if you allow it to.Originally posted by kuri:it's going to be over now he knows it too..why i still cant stop myself from crying...wat can i do to ease my grief.. -
wounds dun get healed over time...wounds onli get healed when ur tinking changes...
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he says you lack the will?Originally posted by kuri:ytd nite he called me and we talked for some time, more like i was talking cos he kept quiet when i started getting serious bout our issues. after that he smsed me saying that if i hav decided to breakup he has no other choice but to let me go.but if it's up to him to decide he'll never let go,he said what matters most in a relationship is that the will to overcome all he's really hurt that i even hav thoughts of breaking up with him as it shows i lack that will.
he told me we only hav two problems one is sexuality and the other is our dominant characters. think my dude really has a bad habit of over-complicating things and over-simplifying our problems.
whatever it is when i just went to check my accounts just now i only got one thing to say at this moment.
shut the f*** up and give me back my money.
i've nvr been this mad or disappointed at anybody in my life.i m utterly disheartened.how much he loves me is crap if his actions keep proving otherwise.i dun f*** care he doesnt like ppl to call him in the morning anymore. i want this settled today.
I think the problems lies with his personality and his refusal to change. He is just dangling you around and if he can be trusted, you wud have gotten the money back by now...
He is trying to make you feel guilty about the break-up by putting the blame on your personality and lack of will. Tell him it is not lack of will, it is that you have finally awakened and managed to see through his lies and betrayal. -
Grieve a little bit, then tell yourself that this man is not worth your tears...Originally posted by kuri:it's going to be over now he knows it too..why i still cant stop myself from crying...wat can i do to ease my grief..
You will meet a better one in the future, trust me
Just take this as a lesson not to trust someone too much until you have really gotten to know his true colors... -
for me to know.Originally posted by iori8888:Erm... I'm sorry... but don't mind me asking...
You're a transvestite ar? -
jin yi shi, zhang yi zhi.
*huggies kuri*
if u want to get back ur money, maybe u can go to his parents or make a police report.
until now, u still haven tell me how much is it leh..
qian shi sheng wai wu.. he's a bad egg, cheated u of ur feelings and money.
but somehow u willingly gave him ur card also.
dun buy his excuses anymore.. dun fall for his tricks again.
Be firm, kuri, BE FIRM!!
We are all behind you! -
humm ok so you fall in love with a guy who cannot be trusted with moneyOriginally posted by kuri:ytd nite he called me and we talked for some time, more like i was talking cos he kept quiet when i started getting serious bout our issues. after that he smsed me saying that if i hav decided to breakup he has no other choice but to let me go.but if it's up to him to decide he'll never let go,he said what matters most in a relationship is that the will to overcome all he's really hurt that i even hav thoughts of breaking up with him as it shows i lack that will.
he told me we only hav two problems one is sexuality and the other is our dominant characters. think my dude really has a bad habit of over-complicating things and over-simplifying our problems.
whatever it is when i just went to check my accounts just now i only got one thing to say at this moment.
shut the f*** up and give me back my money.
i've nvr been this mad or disappointed at anybody in my life.i m utterly disheartened.how much he loves me is crap if his actions keep proving otherwise.i dun f*** care he doesnt like ppl to call him in the morning anymore. i want this settled today.
Just to side line a bit.
Want to ask the forum peopel. If you really love someone will you ask the person you love for money. -
pats pats raineeOriginally posted by rainee:Grieve a little bit, then tell yourself that this man is not worth your tears...
You will meet a better one in the future, trust me
Just take this as a lesson not to trust someone too much until you have really gotten to know his true colors...
way to go..
You must have went through a lot in order to advice her this way. -
i won't.Originally posted by zeny:humm ok so you fall in love with a guy who cannot be trusted with money
Just to side line a bit.
Want to ask the forum peopel. If you really love someone will you ask the person you love for money.
ever told my ex that dinner's cooked at home, so wun be eating with him.. but in actual fact, i was broke lor..
went home to fry rice myself.. lol..
i dun like to spend my bf's money leh..
the only time i took money from him was it was very late le, past midnight, and i had no choice but to take a cab home.. yet i did not have enough cash with me.. so he gave me $20 lor... and I returned him the next time we meet. -
wahh,,,,Originally posted by browniebaobao:i won't.
ever told my ex that dinner's cooked at home, so wun be eating with him.. but in actual fact, i was broke lor..
went home to fry rice myself.. lol..
i dun like to spend my bf's money leh..
the only time i took money from him was it was very late le, past midnight, and i had no choice but to take a cab home.. yet i did not have enough cash with me.. so he gave me $20 lor... and I returned him the next time we meet.
you did so much for your bf and still say that you are not a good gf .... -
huh?Originally posted by zeny:wahh,,,,
you did so much for your bf and still say that you are not a good gf ....
this is a lot meh?
aiyo good or not, nobody fancy also left on the shelf collect dust la..
anyway.. let's not hijack this thread ba..
start a new thread if u want. -
I seriously think you've too much differences and too many issues on hand which you've simply no idea where to start coping with... Not even like they're easy issues to handle to begin with, and it also seems like you'll be working on MANY of those issues ALONE...Originally posted by kuri:i m not just after physical comfort and that follows of course not physical comfort that any guy offers. i wasnt much of a physical person. i used to hav a very limited acceptable scope for physical display of affection. in my last relationship my ex couldnt even kiss with me. hence one could guess i need to adjust rather drastically to a guy who finds just no sex as lack of emotional affirmation even tho i m still adamant on the bottomline bout keeping my chastity. to him he felt that he had to adjust just as drastically to accomodate to me. and he felt that all our problems stem from the fact that we are two head strong characters i.e. he finds me too domineering.
at times i can understand that it's cos i like to reason things out like deconstruct his inconsistent behaviours and explain the need for us to share a common communication model; the rest of the times it's things like he likes to hav plans which affect me without telling me and he does things like tell me i m to meet him lets say tmr or a few days later but doesnt tell me where n where even on the actual day n expects me to be waiting ard till the time comes which i almost never know when. like what happened on tuesday was he told me to meet him at a specific place at 1pm that day on mon night yet when the time comes n he doesnt appear he asked why didnt i call him first before going out. in the end as u all know at 7+pm he smsed me to tell me to go home first. most of the times it's he'll tell me to wait at home then i end up wasting the whole day away waiting for news from him and sometimes it turns out that he cant meet me at all. it's really frustrating for me to plan my schedule and i confronted him bout it i told him that i hav a life too. he likes to send me smses upon smses whenever there's a problem and wouldnt pick up when i call to talk properly. he interprets such as i m trying to take charge of him etc which i dun understand why.
i m not sure it's just an issue over dominance as he thinks it is. it's more like some fundamental problem over basic understandings and value systems. which is why it's so difficult for me to sort things out for good with him no matter how hard i tried. -
How much he owed you?Originally posted by kuri:ytd nite he called me and we talked for some time, more like i was talking cos he kept quiet when i started getting serious bout our issues. after that he smsed me saying that if i hav decided to breakup he has no other choice but to let me go.but if it's up to him to decide he'll never let go,he said what matters most in a relationship is that the will to overcome all he's really hurt that i even hav thoughts of breaking up with him as it shows i lack that will.
he told me we only hav two problems one is sexuality and the other is our dominant characters. think my dude really has a bad habit of over-complicating things and over-simplifying our problems.
whatever it is when i just went to check my accounts just now i only got one thing to say at this moment.
shut the f*** up and give me back my money.
i've nvr been this mad or disappointed at anybody in my life.i m utterly disheartened.how much he loves me is crap if his actions keep proving otherwise.i dun f*** care he doesnt like ppl to call him in the morning anymore. i want this settled today. -
To kuri....
By the way... Not saying that he is... But the last thing you should let him do is to let him play mind games with you... Do not allow him to stir up your emotions too much and make it difficult to make a logical decision which you can stick to.... -
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Triple...
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It's only natural that we need that psychological support (like hugs or affections especially from someone close to us) when we're feeling down...Originally posted by kuri:he waited for me near my block ytd, called me n say if i dun want to meet him it's alrite he'll continue staying there for sometime just to keep me company by being near. we met somewhere near my place. he bought my favourite porridge and insisted i take his cough medicine it would make me feel better. he says i look so mad he didnt dare to go near me. after sometime i really couldnt finish the porridge he bought he asked me if i could sit beside him. he then grabbed me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. i turned away from him. when he held onto me so tight again i couldnt resist hugging him back. it felt really comforting to lean on him quietly, it has been so long since i felt that comfort. someone said i m playing victim here. perhaps. i only have myself to blame for not being determined enough and succumbing to my emotions.
i am not sure what to do again. some part of me wished he never appeared ytd n it would b much easier to convince myself give up on him yet the other part of me is glad he still cared so much for me. i dunno wat to expect anymore. we agreed to talk after we got well.
i guess the only tangible thing to b sure of now is whether my money's back. bout time that cheque cleared, i m gona go check now ba.
May I suggest that perhaps both of you should take a break period from each other....? Give yourselves like... Maybe 2 weeks to 3 weeks' time...?
Straighten out your thoughts during that period.. List down things if you have to... What actually don't work out and what keeps you want to be in the relationship.... See how you're actually coping without contacting him for that period... Last but not least... When coming close to the end of that 'break period'... Make a 'feel decision'... Do you actually FEEL like staying with him more or leaving him...? How strongly do you FEEL for that decision you've just made...? (Only) If your decision is to STAY.... Look back at the list of 'problems' you've made again... Do you actually have any CONCRETE ways in SOLVING them...? Or it is possible to solve them at all....
That would be coming to the part of your LOGICAL DECISION....
If you decide to STAY because of your 'feel decision' but you couldn't answer the 'logical' part of things... Unless you just happens to build up a determination AGAINST your 'feel'... Likelihood, you'll be going into a KARMANIC RELATIONSHIP again....