Is chastity still valued?
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Every relationship will have their unique set of rules to play in.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:This is an important issue in a number of ways.
One of the issues cuts right into the herat of what having a relationship is all about.
Religious people live their lives or at least try to live their lives according to a set of "rules'.
"As long as we follow a set of rules, the ten commandments, for example, we will have a happy and blessed life".
"As long as I am chaste I will have a wonderful relationship and a happy marriage".
This is a Religious Point of View!
This might or might not work if everyone follows the same set of rules. There is still the question of what to do if the rules are silent?
Do you then create more rules?
Is that what a relationship is all about? Having rules to guide each other' behavior?
If you want to go further, you ask yourself whether or not religion is a set of rules? That God is an FBI agent constantly interrogating you to see if you have broken any of his laws?
A relationship is about mutual love and support. A relationship is about giving of oneself to the other.
It is about being there when the other person is down and being there to share the joys.
It is about forgiveness and tolerance and working out what is acceptable behavior to both.
It is about knowing that someone in this world is there for you no matter what happens to you. It is about having someone stand by you and take your side even when your are wrong. It is about someone pleading for a life sentence when you clearly deserve the death penalty. It is about someone pleading for parole when you deserve a jail sentence.
It is about making each other laugh. It is about helping each other become what they want to be. It is accepting the other person for what they are.
During courtship, it is a time to find out if you can give yourself to the other party. Nobody is forcing nobody. Everyone come with intelligence to decide if he/she wants to be the other person's fool.
It is certainly not about a piece of tissue inside the vagina.
Which is why I worry for TS. What has she been taught? That life and relationships and relationships with the almighty is about rules and regulations?
Wake up, wake up. It is "Our Father who art in heaven" not our FBI agent looking down on us!
Live is not so simple as, "Follow the rules and you will have a wonderful life!"
So, i say take the chill pill
Cheers -
You got watch Ms. Swan ar?Originally posted by M©+square:Every relationship will have their unique set of rules to play in.
So, i say take the chill pill
Cheers
P.S: Ignore me if you never watch.
Cheers -
*ignore YunhaierOriginally posted by Yunhaier:You got watch Ms. Swan ar?
P.S: Ignore me if you never watch.
Cheers
Cheers -
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wah u spamming ar?
so many repeated posts.
i think in TS's view, it's not an issue with moral, value or watever..
it's juz that they are progressing too fast... and to many girls, the first time is very precious lor. They are not even stable yet.. and that guy keeps contradicting himself, so she's feeling insecure ba. -
Even if people are irreligious, they would still like to follow some guidelines. The absence of law is anarchy and chaos.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:This is an important issue in a number of ways.
One of the issues cuts right into the heart of what having a relationship is all about.
Religious people live their lives or at least try to live their lives according to a set of "rules'.
"As long as we follow a set of rules, the ten commandments, for example, we will have a happy and blessed life".
"As long as I am chaste I will have a wonderful relationship and a happy marriage".
This is a Religious Point of View!
This might or might not work for everyone and only if everyone follows the same set of rules.
There is still the question of what to do if the rules are silent?
Do you then create more rules?
Is that what a relationship is all about? Having rules to guide each other's behavior?
If you want to go further, you ask yourself whether or not religion itself is a set of rules? That God is an FBI agent constantly interrogating you to see if you have broken any of his laws?
A relationship is about mutual love and support. A relationship is about giving of oneself to the other.
It is about being there when the other person is down and being there to share the joys.
It is about forgiveness and tolerance and working out what is acceptable behavior to both.
It is about knowing that someone in this world is there for you no matter what happens to you. It is about having someone stand by you and take your side even when your are wrong.
It is about someone pleading for a life sentence when you clearly deserve the death penalty. It is about someone pleading for parole when you deserve a jail sentence.
It is about making each other laugh. It is about helping each other become what they want to be. It is accepting the other person for what they are.
During courtship, it is a time to find out if you can give yourself to the other party. Nobody is forcing nobody. Everyone comes with intelligence to decide if he/she wants to be the other person's fool.
It is certainly not about a piece of tissue inside the vagina.
Which is why I worry for TS. What has she been taught? That life and relationships and relationships with the almighty is about rules and regulations?
Wake up, wake up. It is "Our Father who art in heaven" not our FBI agent looking down on us!
Life is not so simple as, "Follow the rules and you will have a wonderful life!"
But I agree with you saying, 'It is about forgiveness and tolerance and working out what is acceptable behavior to both.'
In all things, moderation. A relationship should be balanced by law and leniency. -
*nods*Originally posted by browniebaobao:wah u spamming ar?
so many repeated posts.
i think in TS's view, it's not an issue with moral, value or watever..
it's juz that they are progressing too fast... and to many girls, the first time is very precious lor. They are not even stable yet.. and that guy keeps contradicting himself, so she's feeling insecure ba.
been so long since we chatted but bbb still seem to understand kuri pretty well.perhaps our gelare get-together is not so far away.
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it seem like AndrewPKYap is a pain-in-the-ass. haha...
well, i'm juz a passerby.
what i like to say is: let the gal choose/decide. if u made up ur mind, dont regret it. like wad others ppl said, tis is no right or wrong answer, u juz hav to choose wisely.
frm my point of view, nobody can keep the relationship going by juz only having sex. tat's nt the way. with or without, having too much or too little, its up to own perferences. nobody can tell/instruct u wad to do in BGR especially when it is related to sex. juz be urself, nor under pressure by peers or any others ppl shld u be submitting to him.
since i last read ur posting, seem like u r doin quite well wit him. kp it up, garl. (i still support ur stand). -
eh, he's having problem which is web browser...Originally posted by kuri:*nods*
been so long since we chatted but bbb still seem to understand kuri pretty well.perhaps our gelare get-together is not so far away.
now, some user are experiencing it also... only on page 7 donoe why. -
So Kuri, any latest update you want to share here?
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hahaha..Originally posted by kuri:*nods*
been so long since we chatted but bbb still seem to understand kuri pretty well.perhaps our gelare get-together is not so far away.
anytime.
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well it's still important. if you say don want, he will agree with you. If he love you, he will not do it if you don want. So just stand firm ground can already. if he love you, he will accept your descision. If he still too despo, that means he only wants your body, not your heart. He will be just like a playboy.
No offence
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I think you are a rare decent girl. Good job!Originally posted by kuri:I practise abstinence cos i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse yet he finds it moral crap. mayb cos he's done it before, he says he doesnt bother bout his girl's past and the "chaste n innocent" girl doesnt appeal to him yet asked me at times whether i had done this done that before with other guys. barely a month ago he said no guy would want a no sex + non sexual relationship but he'll do it for me, now it's okie to no sex but not non sexual. when i explained to him my reasons for abstinence n why i was a lil mindful of his past he told me i should hav told him earlier n prevent him from falling for me. how did he not hav a clue? when he knew shortly after we started going out that i did not even give my first kiss to my ex-bf?
to me i've alr given a lot to him, to him it's not enough. if he doesnt value chastity at all then why did he even bother to ask if he's the first one i kissed etc? n to think he once said that my ex shouldnt b upset that he hadnt got a kiss from me. wat a joke. isnt it contradicting? wat is he thinking really?
is chastity still valued in today's society? just curious to know ppl's opinions, but regardless of what they r i'll still stick to my principle of abstinence from sex before marriage as i think it's the best for me, at least for wat i could think of this moment in time.
No offence, but i think your bf is being quite the rascal here.
Too bad, wo shi lao gu tou. I am stubbornly traditional.
Keep it up! -
Dear Andrew, don spam. Be considerate ok. i saw your belief here belief there. one's belief comes from all sorts. So now we are talking about this topic. Not the God's topic ok.
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Note again! Like I've mentioned, these are not intimacy moves!Originally posted by browniebaobao:have to know where's the line..
some guys... touch a bit nia he will really get horny..
then she better know how to defend herself.
GO PUBLIC and it'll be SAFER!
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YES! That's why if the TS insist on her policy and wants to her way... Then always only give an 'inch'!Originally posted by SingaporeMacross:I wonder if there is a risk of 'Give them an inch, and they'll ask for a mile' occuring. And be REMINDED AGAIN!! Those moves are NOT suppose to be SEXUAL!! -
Hmm... That could be a good sign?Originally posted by kuri:been there done that? if only that will be enough?
he can be rather oblivious to sweet lil things
thanks anyway..he's saying now he knows my firm stand will respect that..perhaps he has given much thoughts after our last tiff..things seem peaceful now..lets hope it stays that way.n perhaps he'll finally find enough comfort in what u just described.
How long have you both been together again...? I think you just have to slowly guide him and teach him to focus on other aspects of the relationship...? -
Not spamming... something wrong with the website... I am just able to access this page 5 min ago after a couple of days...Originally posted by browniebaobao:wah u spamming ar?
so many repeated posts.
i think in TS's view, it's not an issue with moral, value or watever..
it's juz that they are progressing too fast... and to many girls, the first time is very precious lor. They are not even stable yet.. and that guy keeps contradicting himself, so she's feeling insecure ba.
If it is "not an issue with moral, value or watever..." then I have nothing to say... -
been seeing each other for bout 2 months plus..been officially together for like 3 weeks?the problem was his thinking that if he makes love to me i'll b his forever,sex is a big part of love,after 3 yrs into a relationship sex=love etc.Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... That could be a good sign?
How long have you both been together again...? I think you just have to slowly guide him and teach him to focus on other aspects of the relationship...?
u see why i feel rather uncertain and scared sometimes?i just dun wan to hav intimacy for the sake of having intimacy or "proving love".yes i believe he loves me but i cant b that sure we'll work out. true i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse,it is half of the reason why i will remain firm on my stand and the other half of my reason is for my own emotional security.for to me if i were to lose my virginity it's not so much smt physical but more emotional.
there are a set of expectations brought over from his previous 7-year long relationship which i beg to differ with.took me some time to adjust his thinking that he has had sex with his ex after they met for 2 weeks n they lasted 7 years he's always been faithful he's serious not a player so he sees no reason why sex shouldnt be part of the equation in this relationship. -
spent a night with him.was our planned 'romantic getaway'. wanted to spend a blissful time with him and also wanted to be assured he could play by my rules after i alr made my grounds very clear bout intimacy, wanted him to be able to feel closer and being loved without sex(at the same time subconsciously part of the re-education plan bout love&sex or love=sex perhaps). having survived that lovingly despite a few hiccups increases my confidence in our relationship. tho frankly speaking i know that i shouldnt try it too often.Originally posted by Bontakun:So Kuri, any latest update you want to share here? -
As long as you maintain your stand on chastity and further reinforcing your own convictions, a road will be paved out for you.Originally posted by kuri:spent a night with him.was our planned 'romantic getaway'. wanted to spend a blissful time with him and also wanted to be assured he could play by my rules after i alr made my grounds very clear bout intimacy, wanted him to be able to feel closer and being loved without sex(at the same time subconsciously part of the re-education plan bout love&sex or love=sex perhaps). having survived that lovingly despite a few hiccups increases my confidence in our relationship. tho frankly speaking i know that i shouldnt try it too often.
Do remember: anything that promotes sexual advancement, do take note and stop it. Prevention is better than cure.