Pls Advice...
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Sign.. I'm always stuck in between friends & my boy..
This time.. This is wat happen..
My gf asked mi out to go drinkin.. In a place called Clinic Bar or some name @ Clarke Quay..
Pardon my ignorance.. I dunno it's considered clubbin or wat?
But my boy refused to let mi go coz there were onli 3 of us gals there.. Well.. OUr ages are 20, 21, & the oldest is 28.. Naturally he is worried.. Says heis fine with mi goin shoppin, movies, etc with my gf.. but not drinkin..
If wanna go drinkin.. he at least be there.. (Bodyguard) haha.. I noe.. In singapore and in this century.. Tis is abit old fashioned..
My 2 gf I & V.. V is the youngest.. I is the oldest..
We were supposed to meet this thurs.. BUt V bf isn out.. N if my boy go, he is the onli guy and the odd one out.. so i suggested wk end when everybody is available..
Since V is on leave, i checked with I first.. See if she is free on fri or sat.. she choose sat..
Told V abt changin it to sat instead. She gave mi hell..
Sayin tat I have to change her schedule.. She also had to change to accomodate..
The thing is. I Onli suggested sat... I din insist! @ first V say they got somethin on..
I told her.. ok. we keep thurs then.. But go else where instead of tat pub.. She refused.. Then i 've no choice! I said wan go the pub go another dae then..
Bombarded mi with lots of hurtin n cutting words..
Say we 're not married.. HOw come he controllin u?? Dun allow you to go.. If u r married.. Worst lah.. no need to come out with them anymore. etc.
Says tat oh. my bf don allow mi to go out with u too.. blah blah..
Says wan give my boy a piece of her mind when she sees him on sat.
Ha.. i can't imagine how my boy will react.. He normally no temper at all... but i doubt on tat dae, he will keep quiet lik i usually do.. I'm sure he will talk back.. and i'm afraid of a showdown..
haiz..
I'm so frustruated.. I reali duno wat i'm doin is rite or wrong??
Coz indeed. I dun lik the idea to go drinkiin alone.. if he control mi other matters.. yeah.. i'll mak noise.. but not tis..
I'm stuck between my boy n friends..
Pls advice!!
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Wow a proceesive gf... How??? Or maybe I have some bad experience with pas gF....
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ur boy is in army? if not can jz tell him to pick u up when finish the pub lo... like tat u get safety + can go drinking w/o bf...
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keep in touch with ur boy while u are out drinking with ur frenz..
as a guy, it is norm dat he will be worried over you -
ur bf is juz being concerned..
and V is unhappy that ur bf means more to u.. -
Tell V to go to hell. She won't have a bf that way. Your boy is just showing concern...you're goin to a pub for goodness sake...who wouldn't be worried. Its the most notorious place to be....besides the Red Lite Dist...of cos.
The point is....he's worried either 1)for your safety or 2)you might run into a more hensem guy. If you like your boy..listen to him for this time. -
Your boyfriend is being too possessive, how old is he? 19 years old? since he is a boy already, so he might be acting imature, i believe in giving each other space in a relationship.
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Balance yourself.....
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i dun think meet more handsome guy or wadever, if she really loves him, den such things will not happen. More like u do not noe wad the guys over dere will do to her....Originally posted by macambagus:Tell V to go to hell. She won't have a bf that way. Your boy is just showing concern...you're goin to a pub for goodness sake...who wouldn't be worried. Its the most notorious place to be....besides the Red Lite Dist...of cos.
The point is....he's worried either 1)for your safety or 2)you might run into a more hensem guy. If you like your boy..listen to him for this time. -
You've got it rite my man. Come on girl...you yourself wrote that naturally he's worried....he allow you to go shop...see movies wif your gfs rite. Wat hiphop man say is rite. You will never know wat mabuk guys will do...esp if its just a grp of gals only.
Dat poor fella will be worried sick you know if you still go......Originally posted by hiphop2009:i dun think meet more handsome guy or wadever, if she really loves him, den such things will not happen. More like u do not noe wad the guys over dere will do to her.... -
listen to ur bf. he is right.
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Strike a balance where you both can be comfortable with in the future to come...Originally posted by ahkico:Sign.. I'm always stuck in between friends & my boy..
This time.. This is wat happen..
My gf asked mi out to go drinkin.. In a place called Clinic Bar or some name @ Clarke Quay..
Pardon my ignorance.. I dunno it's considered clubbin or wat?
But my boy refused to let mi go coz there were onli 3 of us gals there.. Well.. OUr ages are 20, 21, & the oldest is 28.. Naturally he is worried.. Says heis fine with mi goin shoppin, movies, etc with my gf.. but not drinkin..
If wanna go drinkin.. he at least be there.. (Bodyguard) haha.. I noe.. In singapore and in this century.. Tis is abit old fashioned..
My 2 gf I & V.. V is the youngest.. I is the oldest..
We were supposed to meet this thurs.. BUt V bf isn out.. N if my boy go, he is the onli guy and the odd one out.. so i suggested wk end when everybody is available..
Since V is on leave, i checked with I first.. See if she is free on fri or sat.. she choose sat..
Told V abt changin it to sat instead. She gave mi hell..
Sayin tat I have to change her schedule.. She also had to change to accomodate..
The thing is. I Onli suggested sat... I din insist! @ first V say they got somethin on..
I told her.. ok. we keep thurs then.. But go else where instead of tat pub.. She refused.. Then i 've no choice! I said wan go the pub go another dae then..
Bombarded mi with lots of hurtin n cutting words..
Say we 're not married.. HOw come he controllin u?? Dun allow you to go.. If u r married.. Worst lah.. no need to come out with them anymore. etc.
Says tat oh. my bf don allow mi to go out with u too.. blah blah..
Says wan give my boy a piece of her mind when she sees him on sat.
Ha.. i can't imagine how my boy will react.. He normally no temper at all... but i doubt on tat dae, he will keep quiet lik i usually do.. I'm sure he will talk back.. and i'm afraid of a showdown..
haiz..
I'm so frustruated.. I reali duno wat i'm doin is rite or wrong??
Coz indeed. I dun lik the idea to go drinkiin alone.. if he control mi other matters.. yeah.. i'll mak noise.. but not tis..
I'm stuck between my boy n friends..
Pls advice!! -
Originally posted by ahkico:Sign.. I'm always stuck in between friends & my boy..
This time.. This is wat happen..
My gf asked mi out to go drinkin.. In a place called Clinic Bar or some name @ Clarke Quay..
Pardon my ignorance.. I dunno it's considered clubbin or wat?
But my boy refused to let mi go coz there were onli 3 of us gals there.. Well.. OUr ages are 20, 21, & the oldest is 28.. Naturally he is worried.. Says heis fine with mi goin shoppin, movies, etc with my gf.. but not drinkin..
If wanna go drinkin.. he at least be there.. (Bodyguard) haha.. I noe.. In singapore and in this century.. Tis is abit old fashioned..
My 2 gf I & V.. V is the youngest.. I is the oldest..
We were supposed to meet this thurs.. BUt V bf isn out.. N if my boy go, he is the onli guy and the odd one out.. so i suggested wk end when everybody is available..
Since V is on leave, i checked with I first.. See if she is free on fri or sat.. she choose sat..
Told V abt changin it to sat instead. She gave mi hell..
Sayin tat I have to change her schedule.. She also had to change to accomodate..
The thing is. I Onli suggested sat... I din insist! @ first V say they got somethin on..
I told her.. ok. we keep thurs then.. But go else where instead of tat pub.. She refused.. Then i 've no choice! I said wan go the pub go another dae then..
Bombarded mi with lots of hurtin n cutting words..
Say we 're not married.. HOw come he controllin u?? Dun allow you to go.. If u r married.. Worst lah.. no need to come out with them anymore. etc.
Says tat oh. my bf don allow mi to go out with u too.. blah blah..
Says wan give my boy a piece of her mind when she sees him on sat.
Ha.. i can't imagine how my boy will react.. He normally no temper at all... but i doubt on tat dae, he will keep quiet lik i usually do.. I'm sure he will talk back.. and i'm afraid of a showdown..
haiz..
I'm so frustruated.. I reali duno wat i'm doin is rite or wrong??
Coz indeed. I dun lik the idea to go drinkiin alone.. if he control mi other matters.. yeah.. i'll mak noise.. but not tis..
I'm stuck between my boy n friends..
Pls advice!!
I think you are not exactly stuck in a quagmire, since you agreed with your bf on this stand, that you won't go drinking without him. Therefore, in another words, this is also your choice - not just your boyfriend's decision. I think it kinda made your matter worst when you could have inevitably suggested that the change of plans is largely due to your boyfriend's displeasure. Even if it wasn't so, your friend perceived it that way.
Eventually, it's all about mutual understanding.
You could do your best to appease all sides, but you must have that understanding from them to compromise.
Of course, it would be better if your boyfriend isn't a chauvinist and learn the beauty of freedom and trust. It would be easier on your relationship with your friends. I mean, if he wants to come along, you don't have to bother if there's any other guys coming because he's intention is merely there to keep a watch on you... and to me, that's silly because he will be so out of place.
I mean this is probably a girl's night out and in the end you have a guy tagging along?
Come on.
You would probably spent all other times with your boyfriend and that's still not enough to even spare one night with friends?
You do your Maths.
P.S: A healthy relationship also consists of a healthy life outside that of their relationship.
Cheers -
If I put it nicely, your boyfriend is worried about you. But IMO he is being possessive and childish. Either he is a MCP or lack self-confidence, either way good luck in your relationship.
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I think your gf is possessive. if you have no problem with accommodating the requirements of your relationship, what business is it of hers? It is not as if those requirements are really unreasonable.
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Hehe.. Thanks for all ya advices!
Hmm.. I'm jus feelin stuck over V.. Coz tis isn the 1st time we had conflict over my bf & her..
To mi, she is over pocessive that makes mi drift apart further..
Hehe.. I'm tryin reali hard to strike a balance out here.. I reali duno wat to do sometimes!
When i'm out with his friends, we are more carefree... Free to do wat we want to do.. Chat, hug.. Hold hands.. All the things couple do.. In our usual group consist of us, another couple and a guy..
Whereas, if i'm with my gals.. Two of us couple, and another single gal.. If i talk abit to my bf when i'm out with them.. They will comment like.. U keep talking to him.. & ignore us.. Coz he's the odd one out in this grp... We'r poly mates.. Same course, cover same crap.. All can catch the stupid crappy jokes we make.. Some times can't be not talkin to him all the time!
But i jus feel stressed out.. If we hold hands, they will say we lovey dovey.. Etc ETc etc..
The onli thing i do? Avoid goin out with them and my bf..
Hmm.. My boy immature arh? Haha.. Mayb i'm too bah...
Coz i reali hate all this kinda of places.. Mayb i'm reali underexposed!
A brief borin history of myself..
1. 1st time i was allowed to go chalet was when i'm in poly.
2. I was worried sick that i'm goin home too late & tat is 11+ in the nite after a class gathering at sentosa..
3. Used to think that K-Box is a bad place to hang out with.. I associated it with clubbing!
My bf is usually the one askin mi to go with him to clubbin, drinkin etc.. I hated it! Jus go for the sake of entertaining.. Can't stand the smoky envt.. Hmm.. I think so far.. I've onli been eh.. 2 times! Haha..
This outing.. @ 1st supposely to be gal dae out.. Yeah.. We arranged the date early jan.. Coz most of us work shift.. V hard to find a common dae when everyone is free.. Jus tat no body told mi wat place we're goin to! Never would i guess we would be goin to clubbin.. Coz my friends are not into this at all!
Esp V!!! She said.. I dun like to go this kinda place.. & now she is sayin.. Let go check out MOS..
Gosh.. I jus hop 2mol will never come!
Gonna go.. I've no choice.. Dun wan be a spoil sport and break our so called meetin..
I think the nx time we goin meet.. I beta asked properly.. If not.. When we decided on the date, but no venue.. I'll feel v obliged to go..
sorry for the long post! I'm jus ventin out.. Urgh! -
Abit out of topic..
More abt V...
Jus upset how come someone whom i called my best friend is so unsupportive..
I think the way she & i view friendships and r/s totally in a diff way.. Could it be coz she's from a gal school.. Whereas mi is in a mixed school?
She values friendship more than her bf.. She is one tat doesn reali bother too much abt him, etc.. Is onli until recently he went into NS tat she starts appreciating him..
I went thru tremendous hell with her when my bf in army.. She gloates alot at mi.. I jus went thru it silently.. But then.. It has become a shadow tat will always follow mi..
Now tat her bf is in army n has least time for her.. I wish i could do back the same.. Yet i cant..
Mayb tat's why she resent my bf.. Coz im naturally closer to him than her.. All along in sec school..
Guys make up the bulk of my friends.. Jus seems to get along beta with them.. Is it coz she's from all gals school.. tend to treat gals more lik their bf style?!?
Sorry! I'm not discrimating! Jus a tot..
2 mi.. my family and my bf is my top priority.. totally opposite from her..
Is she a friend or foe?!? -
oh man, i have to tell you this, the night is still young, go outside, and see see look look, the night is so colorfulOriginally posted by ahkico:Hehe.. Thanks for all ya advices!
Hmm.. I'm jus feelin stuck over V.. Coz tis isn the 1st time we had conflict over my bf & her..
To mi, she is over pocessive that makes mi drift apart further..
Hehe.. I'm tryin reali hard to strike a balance out here.. I reali duno wat to do sometimes!
When i'm out with his friends, we are more carefree... Free to do wat we want to do.. Chat, hug.. Hold hands.. All the things couple do.. In our usual group consist of us, another couple and a guy..
Whereas, if i'm with my gals.. Two of us couple, and another single gal.. If i talk abit to my bf when i'm out with them.. They will comment like.. U keep talking to him.. & ignore us.. Coz he's the odd one out in this grp... We'r poly mates.. Same course, cover same crap.. All can catch the stupid crappy jokes we make.. Some times can't be not talkin to him all the time!
But i jus feel stressed out.. If we hold hands, they will say we lovey dovey.. Etc ETc etc..
The onli thing i do? Avoid goin out with them and my bf..
Hmm.. My boy immature arh? Haha.. Mayb i'm too bah...
Coz i reali hate all this kinda of places.. Mayb i'm reali underexposed!
A brief borin history of myself..
1. 1st time i was allowed to go chalet was when i'm in poly.
2. I was worried sick that i'm goin home too late & tat is 11+ in the nite after a class gathering at sentosa..
3. Used to think that K-Box is a bad place to hang out with.. I associated it with clubbing!
My bf is usually the one askin mi to go with him to clubbin, drinkin etc.. I hated it! Jus go for the sake of entertaining.. Can't stand the smoky envt.. Hmm.. I think so far.. I've onli been eh.. 2 times! Haha..
This outing.. @ 1st supposely to be gal dae out.. Yeah.. We arranged the date early jan.. Coz most of us work shift.. V hard to find a common dae when everyone is free.. Jus tat no body told mi wat place we're goin to! Never would i guess we would be goin to clubbin.. Coz my friends are not into this at all!
Esp V!!! She said.. I dun like to go this kinda place.. & now she is sayin.. Let go check out MOS.. Gosh.. I jus hop 2mol will never come!
Gonna go.. I've no choice.. Dun wan be a spoil sport and break our so called meetin..
I think the nx time we goin meet.. I beta asked properly.. If not.. When we decided on the date, but no venue.. I'll feel v obliged to go..
sorry for the long post! I'm jus ventin out.. Urgh! -
what a confusing story
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ok...
if u want to go... make sure u are going to be safe.. ur bf is just concerned about ur safety and in the club, u have a higher tendency to meet different pple....
About V, try talking to her, i think that u also a person that treasure friendship and u are striking a balance....
As for going to club, tell just bf about it, if u scared that he will be leave alone when u gals are having fun, ask him to bring his friends... then more people, the merrier.... rite??
in the meantime, he can look after u and have fun and not feel leave out...
about the changing of venue and time of the event , if u are a bit piss of about the attitude and the behaviour, try talk to V, but u have to be careful too....
if u dun like to club, then dun go , try other activities.... -
True friends will try to understand and support you, not slander. So I dunno what kind of girlfriend you got there.
You boyfriend may have his reasons but there will always be a struggle between you two on where to draw the line - the line between OK and not OK. IMO don't give in too much (within reason) , once he gets too used to your obedience he may take it for granted . -
I think it might not be as serious as to see 'v' as a foe at this point?Originally posted by ahkico:Abit out of topic..
More abt V...
Jus upset how come someone whom i called my best friend is so unsupportive..
I think the way she & i view friendships and r/s totally in a diff way.. Could it be coz she's from a gal school.. Whereas mi is in a mixed school?
She values friendship more than her bf.. She is one tat doesn reali bother too much abt him, etc.. Is onli until recently he went into NS tat she starts appreciating him..
I went thru tremendous hell with her when my bf in army.. She gloates alot at mi.. I jus went thru it silently.. But then.. It has become a shadow tat will always follow mi..
Now tat her bf is in army n has least time for her.. I wish i could do back the same.. Yet i cant..
Mayb tat's why she resent my bf.. Coz im naturally closer to him than her.. All along in sec school..
Guys make up the bulk of my friends.. Jus seems to get along beta with them.. Is it coz she's from all gals school.. tend to treat gals more lik their bf style?!?
Sorry! I'm not discrimating! Jus a tot..
2 mi.. my family and my bf is my top priority.. totally opposite from her..
Is she a friend or foe?!?
Maybe you should just try not to always give in to 'v' all the time? Try to make your stand sometimes and get the message across.. -
Sorry to say but.
Both your friend and bf aint worth it.
Let go ...