not your average break-ups/get-overs. pls advice. pls.
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To People Who Are Sad Due To Breakups.
i just read a couple of quotes over there.. some are pretty meaningful ones.
you know, at this point in time, i think im just about to break-up sooner or later. (im still hoping it will NOT)
*my girlfriend.... she told me that she got nomore feelings for me anymore. SHE WANTS A BREAK. WE TAKING A TIME_OFF now. and its not about another guy, which i believed. i tried talking to her best friend, which is my sort of my friend also, asking if she can advice me. She told me that my girlfriend really want me to understand and let go. i was devasted.. i was so so blur and dun really understand, i asked her, what does she mean by she got no feelings for me anymore? if she is sick of me, why cant she just tell me straight to my face? what really makes the feeling goes away? you know.. at least tell the chief WHY you like or dislike his food.....
the friend told me to just understand that my gal no longer have anymore feelings for me. if i really love her, i should let her go.............
hey people, i've seen my fair share of breakups and i keep thinking i can get over it, if it will to happen to me. but im so sad and heart broken right now, i really dunno what to do. somebody pls help me... is there still hope? theres always hope... but is there any this scenario? or should i just... "if you love her, let her go. if she comes back, its meant to be" ?
the thing is, i dont want to...i seriously still love her. another thing the friend pointed out is that my gal told her that we have really nothing else to talk about anymore. i agree that sometimes we do have long silent and dunno wat to do times. but i love this girl and i want to make it work... im serving ns now. trying to get my bike. and im thinking of the fun thing we can do in the future... so we will have more things to talk about too. i really want to be with her... in fact, i think of marrying her. YES, i'm 20, she's 17 only. you know wat, you can judge me or watever, but i really enjoy my time with her. she's someone i really cherished. I THINK SHE IS REALLY SPECIAL.
help me... tell me what to do. PLEASE........ im in so much agony right now -
[img=http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/6218/200022558002wo9.th.jpg]
ahhhh i cant even post a proper image up
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A relationship is two-way.
If she doesn't have anymore feelings for you, no matter how much you do, how hard you try, the relationship won't work out if she is not willing to do the same.
In which case the only thing you can do is to let go, even if it makes you feel like you want to die, like your world has completely crumbled. It's very harsh, but you have to accept it... take your time.
That said, hopefully somebody will be able to offer help you can use to salvage the relationship.
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Blunt as this may sound, there's just nothing you can do now - the ball is not in your court.
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no feeling means no feeling. so no matter what u do, she won't come back to u one. u have to understand this.
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so straight up, Give up?
maybe in my sub-concious, its tellin me not to give up.. i'm able to win her back. bbut i really dont know...
why...why do relationship always have to end like this? especially its not on cheating matters... im not sayin cheatin cases its easier (but think bout it, it is)
but its like suddenly tell ur mom, ma i think i dun love u anymore. IT FCUKIN HURTS!
guys.. im really stressed out right now. Ns im already tryin to hang on.. yet this has to happened. pls tell me how am i gonna carry on. im still saint... aint gonna suicide or somethin'. just wanna know why must it be like this.... how am i supposed to deal with it.... all the photos and memories, i dont wanna delete it away just like that........
eh sia ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................................................
i cant take it mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
eeeeeeeeeherjtyj6j76j76j76jrtjuykm7o65i5 hfvpewfp34r03.4t.4ukuyk.87[i-0u293r8rd234 -
oh my god............................................
whyyyyyyyyyyyy man whyyyyyyyyyyyy................
i love her -
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all good things will eventually come to an end one.Originally posted by projectlime:so straight up, Give up?
maybe in my sub-concious, its tellin me not to give up.. i'm able to win her back. bbut i really dont know...
why...why do relationship always have to end like this? especially its not on cheating matters... im not sayin cheatin cases its easier (but think bout it, it is)
but its like suddenly tell ur mom, ma i think i dun love u anymore. IT FCUKIN HURTS!
guys.. im really stressed out right now. Ns im already tryin to hang on.. yet this has to happened. pls tell me how am i gonna carry on. im still saint... aint gonna suicide or somethin'. just wanna know why must it be like this.... how am i supposed to deal with it.... all the photos and memories, i dont wanna delete it away just like that........
eh sia ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................................................
i cant take it mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
eeeeeeeeeherjtyj6j76j76j76jrtjuykm7o65i5 hfvpewfp34r03.4t.4ukuyk.87[i-0u293r8rd234
the earlier u let go the sooner u recover. -
If it will make you feel better, you can do everything you can to save the relationship. If it works out, we'll be happy for you. If it doesn't, sooner or later you'll be the one telling yourself that you have to accept things the way they have turned out.
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I think I understand heartbreaks to a great extent, my devastation came when my late gf passed away. I totally lost my sense of worth and control - blew whiskey all day long till my left hand shook badly and I ended in hospital and rehap.
I understand that you're probably wretched now and I concur with what Mooku earlier expounded - "A relationship is two-way". It takes 2 hands to clap, my friend.
The earlier you choose to believe and come to terms that she is no longer interested with you, the earlier you can start to recover. Take time to mourn and grieve for you've lost the person you love, but also understand that the world doesn't stop for 1 person. Eventually, we all have to move on.
Last but not least, if it consoles you... Like what I said in Michelle's earlier thread... "Just because someone didn't love you all the way, doesn't mean that she didn't love you with all that she had"
I pray that you have the wisdom to know what to let go and what to hold on to in a storm.
Forever and a day,
Detached
(And thank you, for giving me a chance to rediscover myself) -
TS, I got the below extract from Chicken Soul for The Soul. Hope you like it.
It's Just the Way We Are
We hold on to things the tightest,
when we are forced to let them go -
We always want things a certain way,
when we know they can't be so.
Dreams always last the longest,
when they are furthest from our reach -
And the lessons we can learn from the most from,
are often the very ones we teach.
The grass is always greenest,
when it lies on the other side -
And the truths we preach to others,
are often those we can't abide.
We hold fast to things in a storm,
which are most likely to blow away -
And yet we neglect to wear suncreen,
on a bright and sunny day.
We spend our time trying to see things,
when perspective is one thing we lack -
And we never appreciate what we've got,
until we can't get it back.
We expect the whole world to give us a break,
and yet ironically we'll find -
That when others come asking the same of us,
we tell them they're out of their mind.
We tell everyone what's wrong with this world,
and we do nothing to make it right -
We complain about families falling apart,
and yet do nothing to keep them tight.
We preach about loving our neighbours,
and we teach children right from wrong -
But we never set good examples for them,
when real chances come along.
We desire to be close to all those we love,
yet all too often look on from afar -
And when it comes to the truth do we want to change,
or remain forever as we are?
-Kristy Glassen -
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God -Corrie ten Boom
I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss. -Rita Mae Brown
It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only we we had. -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
When it gets dark enough you can see the stars. -Lee Salk
Conflict builds character. Crisis defines it. -Steven V. Thulon
And my personal favourite quote of all time by a man I've never met but respect a lot:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. -Martin Luther King, Jr. -
Let me help you with the pic
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In the beginning just take it one hour at a time... then one day at a time, then one week at a time...Originally posted by projectlime:so straight up, Give up?
maybe in my sub-concious, its tellin me not to give up.. i'm able to win her back. bbut i really dont know...
why...why do relationship always have to end like this? especially its not on cheating matters... im not sayin cheatin cases its easier (but think bout it, it is)
but its like suddenly tell ur mom, ma i think i dun love u anymore. IT FCUKIN HURTS!
guys.. im really stressed out right now. Ns im already tryin to hang on.. yet this has to happened. pls tell me how am i gonna carry on. im still saint... aint gonna suicide or somethin'. just wanna know why must it be like this.... how am i supposed to deal with it.... all the photos and memories, i dont wanna delete it away just like that........
eh sia ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................................................
i cant take it mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
eeeeeeeeeherjtyj6j76j76j76jrtjuykm7o65i5 hfvpewfp34r03.4t.4ukuyk.87[i-0u293r8rd234
the worse I guess is when you are alone in bed... there is nothing to do except to think about it.
close your eyes and focus on your breathing and enjoy the break if it is even for half a minute... and every time you remember, close your eyes and focus on your breathing... in... out... in ... out....
don't expect too much... don't think that you will stop hurting soon... you will not.
BUT YOU WILL... sooner or later.... -
I was thinking that everything came from her friend's mouth and not directly from her.
You should hear it directly from her. If she really feels that way, you should respect her decision. But this doesn't mean u cannot start anew. Ask to be given some more time (perhaps a month). If it doesn't work out, then it's better off for u to forget it. Reason? You should know her well enough to touch her enough to stay together with you, else you are definitely not suited to be with her.
I'm just curious how long u hv been with ur gf. Different time periods do need different approaches to this. -
Originally posted by projectlime:To People Who Are Sad Due To Breakups.
i just read a couple of quotes over there.. some are pretty meaningful ones.
you know, at this point in time, i think im just about to break-up sooner or later. (im still hoping it will NOT)
*my girlfriend.... she told me that she got nomore feelings for me anymore. SHE WANTS A BREAK. WE TAKING A TIME_OFF now. and its not about another guy, which i believed. i tried talking to her best friend, which is my sort of my friend also, asking if she can advice me. She told me that my girlfriend really want me to understand and let go. i was devasted.. i was so so blur and dun really understand, i asked her, what does she mean by she got no feelings for me anymore? if she is sick of me, why cant she just tell me straight to my face? what really makes the feeling goes away? you know.. at least tell the chief WHY you like or dislike his food.....
the friend told me to just understand that my gal no longer have anymore feelings for me. if i really love her, i should let her go.............
hey people, i've seen my fair share of breakups and i keep thinking i can get over it, if it will to happen to me. but im so sad and heart broken right now, i really dunno what to do. somebody pls help me... is there still hope? theres always hope... but is there any this scenario? or should i just... "if you love her, let her go. if she comes back, its meant to be" ?
the thing is, i dont want to...i seriously still love her. another thing the friend pointed out is that my gal told her that we have really nothing else to talk about anymore. i agree that sometimes we do have long silent and dunno wat to do times. but i love this girl and i want to make it work... im serving ns now. trying to get my bike. and im thinking of the fun thing we can do in the future... so we will have more things to talk about too. i really want to be with her... in fact, i think of marrying her. YES, i'm 20, she's 17 only. you know wat, you can judge me or watever, but i really enjoy my time with her. she's someone i really cherished. I THINK SHE IS REALLY SPECIAL.
help me... tell me what to do. PLEASE........ im in so much agony right now
There are always reasons for breaking up; the difference is whether that reason is conveyed to you verbally or not. But eventually, you will realise that the reasons given are not as important as the execution and the desire to leave. That's probably akin to death, where there's little meaning in analyzing a person's death since even if you have the answer, the poignant lost is permanent. There's nothing you could do to resurrect that dead soul other than using the case study to prevent future mishap.
I won't go about trying to explain the possibilities because there are indeed quite a number of it.
You probably have two choices:
i) One is to seek her out and understand the real underlying reason behind the break-up (even so, you might not get the real thing). Of course, she will likely not agree to your request if you are completely unstable.
ii) Gather your stuff and move on, knowing that even if you do meet her and such, there's little you could do since you can't force love out of anybody or to be in a relationship with you.
Cheers -
bo bian lo. u know she is only 17, how mature her thinking can be?. i got serveral friends that encounter this sentence before " i got no feeling for you anymore " . wah biang. is this a technique for the ladies to change bf?.
or maybe there is nothing to do with maturity =\ bah i dunno.
from the situation.. since she not like u anymore. and u still serving ns.. i don't think u can do anything le. take care dude -
The highlighted part hor, I don't quite agree the latter part.Originally posted by projectlime:To People Who Are Sad Due To Breakups.
i just read a couple of quotes over there.. some are pretty meaningful ones.
you know, at this point in time, i think im just about to break-up sooner or later. (im still hoping it will NOT)
*my girlfriend.... she told me that she got nomore feelings for me anymore. SHE WANTS A BREAK. WE TAKING A TIME_OFF now. and its not about another guy, which i believed. i tried talking to her best friend, which is my sort of my friend also, asking if she can advice me. She told me that my girlfriend really want me to understand and let go. i was devasted.. i was so so blur and dun really understand, i asked her, what does she mean by she got no feelings for me anymore? if she is sick of me, why cant she just tell me straight to my face? what really makes the feeling goes away? you know.. at least tell the chief WHY you like or dislike his food.....
the friend told me to just understand that my gal no longer have anymore feelings for me. if i really love her, i should let her go.............
hey people, i've seen my fair share of breakups and i keep thinking i can get over it, if it will to happen to me. but im so sad and heart broken right now, i really dunno what to do. somebody pls help me... is there still hope? theres always hope... but is there any this scenario? or should i just... "if you love her, let her go. if she comes back, its meant to be" ?
the thing is, i dont want to...i seriously still love her. another thing the friend pointed out is that my gal told her that we have really nothing else to talk about anymore. i agree that sometimes we do have long silent and dunno wat to do times. but i love this girl and i want to make it work... im serving ns now. trying to get my bike. and im thinking of the fun thing we can do in the future... so we will have more things to talk about too. i really want to be with her... in fact, i think of marrying her. YES, i'm 20, she's 17 only. you know wat, you can judge me or watever, but i really enjoy my time with her. she's someone i really cherished. I THINK SHE IS REALLY SPECIAL.
help me... tell me what to do. PLEASE........ im in so much agony right now
If you think of marrying her hor,
1) Do you know a stable job?
2) Do you have enough $$$$ for a wedding expenses(dinner, photo shot, etc)
3) Can you commit?
4) What's makes you think that you have a capability of marrying her?
5) What's does she say about this issue? -
i think it's hard le..
for most girls, it's the feelings that they hold on to..
once the feeling is gone.. then it's time to move on le.
wo shi ge hen zhi zuo yu zi ji gan qing de nv ren..
which is not a good thing. -
She must have found someone she believes to be more interesting, more cute, richer, or simply better or easier to have intellectual contact with. Like someone mentioned, you gotta come to terms with it and move on. Breaking up with you has made her HAPPIER.
think of it that way, at least she cared about your feelings not to tell you the truth; instead, she chose to tell you she aint got no feelings about the relationship any more. -
Let's think from another point.
You are 20, she is 17. What age u wish to marry? 26? 27? That means you 2 have to be together for another 8yrs. It's hard to stay for 8yrs. Anything can happen. Are you confident to hold on for another 8yrs?
Think far. Compose yourself and don't give up if you want. Come back a few yrs later when she's in her 20s, and try again. Being steady is not impt. What's impt is marriage.
Which is fresher? Stead 2,3 yrs then marry or drag 8yrs then marry? There is no 1 side to everything.
If she will be happier without you, let her go. It's very heartbreaking to the power of infinity. Remember her smile. Even if you 2 broke up in the end, do not despair. You just exchanged for a few more smiles on her face. -
ns is a bad time to have a relationship. 2 of my cousins broke off with their ex while they were in ns.
so my advice to u is be patient and wait to ORD then find a new one. u might even find a better one, u never know. -
You're in NS and broke... there's only so much you can do to entertain her while wanting to see her on a regular basis. There's only so many topics both of you can talk about while you're tapped out from the world and working life. So get a grip and accept the fact that girls need constant amusement/ entertainment and at 17, she's just test driving around.
There are better girls out there and time will prove it too. -
This should tell TS that his is an "average break-ups/get-overs."Originally posted by Adolez:
ns is a bad time to have a relationship. 2 of my cousins broke off with their ex while they were in ns.
so my advice to u is be patient and wait to ORD then find a new one. u might even find a better one, u never know.
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