guys in long-term relationship
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hihi all.... if a guy is in a long-term relationship with a girl, say almost 6 years, and yet no hint of getting a house nor concrete plans of getting married/ROM... does tat mean tat the guy is not really keen at all on marrying this gal? Though he gave her reasons that he is not financially stable to start up a family yet, could tat translate to mean this girl ain't the right one... who will help him in his career?
juz kinda wanna get a feel of wat guys tink cos this is one big question tat baffles me for a long long time... juz wanna know if i shd continue to stay in the relationship or leave him so tat he can find his right one soon, to start a family with and one to help him in his career?????? -
6 years oledy and he's still delaying ?
Gee. Move on.
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boink and go
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What's is the guy thinking? indecisive?
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1st: if the gal is not the rite one for the guy, y the guy is still holding on to the r/s?Originally posted by Daydreamzer:hihi all.... if a guy is in a long-term relationship with a girl, say almost 6 years, and yet no hint of getting a house nor concrete plans of getting married/ROM... does tat mean tat the guy is not really keen at all on marrying this gal? Though he gave her reasons that he is not financially stable to start up a family yet, could tat translate to mean this girl ain't the right one... who will help him in his career?
juz kinda wanna get a feel of wat guys tink cos this is one big question tat baffles me for a long long time... juz wanna know if i shd continue to stay in the relationship or leave him so tat he can find his right one soon, to start a family with and one to help him in his career??????
2nd: is the guy's finance allow him to hold a wedding + house (include renovation, furniture, electrical appliances, etc)? -
maybe he cant decide if im the right one for him... :-(Originally posted by Ferret:6 years oledy and he's still delaying ?
Gee. Move on. -
kao. depends on age de right? u cant expect a 20 yo guy to marry you if u 2 started dating at 14. Zzz
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indecisive men are ah guas
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depends, how old are you?
but truth is, alot of guys don't plan so far ahead.
alot don't plan about getting a family etc until they decide to get married. as in just b4 proposal.
of course its not all lah but quite a number. -
Originally posted by mystee:1st: if the gal is not the rite one for the guy, y the guy is still holding on to the r/s?
-- tat' one big question to ask...
2nd: is the guy's finance allow him to hold a wedding + house (include renovation, furniture, electrical appliances, etc)?
-- is marriage all abt money? then wat abt love?
aint marriage all about a lifelong promise to love and care for each other? -
tis kinda things 3rd party how to comment?
u decide urself la... heart to heart talk wif him. sometimes guys often over look lots of things de leh... u nv remind him or u say nvm he really thot nvm de... -
love is not abt money... but marriage is about money..Originally posted by Daydreamzer:
think abt it in a positive way, he may want to provide u with a house, marry u with a decent wedding dinner, rent/give u a decent wedding gown.
marrying is not just about 2 persons, he has to think of ur family & his family.
traditional family will prefer wedding dinner & will cost quite a sum of money.
i m oso eager to get married, have to dating for 5 yr +, but i will wait till my bf & I have a stable finance. -
gd for uOriginally posted by mystee:love is not abt money... but marriage is about money..
think abt it in a positive way, he may want to provide u with a house, marry u with a decent wedding dinner, rent/give u a decent wedding gown.
marrying is not just about 2 persons, he has to think of ur family & his family.
traditional family will prefer wedding dinner & will cost quite a sum of money.
i m oso eager to get married, have to dating for 5 yr +, but i will wait till my bf & I have a stable finance.
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girl, maybe it's not tt he dun wanna marry u, but would it be that he wanna make sure tt he's financially stable enuf, can afford house and wedding b4 he wanna get married?? men are creatures with pride, sometimes he juz wanna give u the best but he juz need more time... love is about caring but has he stopped caring abt u?? u mean if he didnt proposed to u, he stopped caring?
think u shld stand by him ba, maybe hinting him $$ is not tt impt, both of u can work hard tgt as husband and wife for ur future... unless u not willing... -
I've been with my gf for 7 years. I am 25 coming 26 now. So maybe i can help explain.Originally posted by Daydreamzer:hihi all.... if a guy is in a long-term relationship with a girl, say almost 6 years, and yet no hint of getting a house nor concrete plans of getting married/ROM... does tat mean tat the guy is not really keen at all on marrying this gal? Though he gave her reasons that he is not financially stable to start up a family yet, could tat translate to mean this girl ain't the right one... who will help him in his career?
juz kinda wanna get a feel of wat guys tink cos this is one big question tat baffles me for a long long time... juz wanna know if i shd continue to stay in the relationship or leave him so tat he can find his right one soon, to start a family with and one to help him in his career??????
Personally, i feel a need to settle all aspects of my life before i ask her to marry me.
I need to make sure i am financially stable,
i need to make sure i got my qualifications,
i need to make sure i can provide for her so that she won't experience hardship,
etc.
We discussed these issues a few times.
From her view: She doesn't need all these things, but she can see where I'm coming from
From mine: I won't be able to look her in the face, or even look myself in the face if i make her suffer with me (i know it sounds egoistical).
This is just a surface discussion on this matter. What you should do is to have a heart-to-heart talk with him
Good luck -
bullseyeOriginally posted by clueless007:men are creatures with pride, sometimes he juz wanna give u the best but he juz need more time... ...
clueless007 hits the issue spot on -
guess i probably have the ans in my heart... juz tat im lookg for third party opinion.... to substantiate the ans i already hv...
anyway, thanks for hearing me rant... to b frank... was quite anxious to know wat a guy feel... cos whenever i proach this subject to my bf, he tries to avoid the question... making me even sadder and helpless... clueless about the direction we're heading for... -
true as it may seems.. if only i hv the time in the world to wait...Originally posted by mystee:love is not abt money... but marriage is about money..
think abt it in a positive way, he may want to provide u with a house, marry u with a decent wedding dinner, rent/give u a decent wedding gown.
marrying is not just about 2 persons, he has to think of ur family & his family.
traditional family will prefer wedding dinner & will cost quite a sum of money.
i m oso eager to get married, have to dating for 5 yr +, but i will wait till my bf & I have a stable finance. -
sometimes we're ashamed to admit that we're not good enough to ask for the girl's hand yet.Originally posted by Daydreamzer:guess i probably have the ans in my heart... juz tat im lookg for third party opinion.... to substantiate the ans i already hv...
anyway, thanks for hearing me rant... to b frank... was quite anxious to know wat a guy feel... cos whenever i proach this subject to my bf, he tries to avoid the question... making me even sadder and helpless... clueless about the direction we're heading for...
In a way it's a form of escapism. However, it's escapism from ourselves and not from the girl
My advise still stands. Have a talk with him. it might get a little uncomfortable, but a little discomfort in exchange for a true understanding of what your other half is thinking is more than worth it -
just curious, how old are u? i think i m much older than u... but good thing are worthwhile to wait for..Originally posted by Daydreamzer:true as it may seems.. if only i hv the time in the world to wait...
dont be so dishearted ya, i think u need a heart to heart talk with him, let him know how u feel & let him tell u how he feel. -
if this is your personal problem.Originally posted by Daydreamzer:hihi all.... if a guy is in a long-term relationship with a girl, say almost 6 years, and yet no hint of getting a house nor concrete plans of getting married/ROM... does tat mean tat the guy is not really keen at all on marrying this gal? Though he gave her reasons that he is not financially stable to start up a family yet, could tat translate to mean this girl ain't the right one... who will help him in his career?
juz kinda wanna get a feel of wat guys tink cos this is one big question tat baffles me for a long long time... juz wanna know if i shd continue to stay in the relationship or leave him so tat he can find his right one soon, to start a family with and one to help him in his career??????
please talk to him.
you'll gain no closer answer with the answers here...
what matters is HIS answers and whether you believe it. how old are the two of you?
do you really think he's delaying or is he really trying to be financially stable before taking the next step? -
No.. he is not financially stable to start up a family does not mean "this girl ain't the right one"Originally posted by Daydreamzer:hihi all.... if a guy is in a long-term relationship with a girl, say almost 6 years, and yet no hint of getting a house nor concrete plans of getting married/ROM... does tat mean tat the guy is not really keen at all on marrying this gal? Though he gave her reasons that he is not financially stable to start up a family yet, could tat translate to mean this girl ain't the right one... who will help him in his career?
juz kinda wanna get a feel of wat guys tink cos this is one big question tat baffles me for a long long time... juz wanna know if i shd continue to stay in the relationship or leave him so tat he can find his right one soon, to start a family with and one to help him in his career??????
Guys in general are more direct and is able to keep more emotions to themself compared with females.
As what other people say, marriage is 2 people... need to have two person to involve... well... probably, u can try to talk to him, let him noe that he is not alone in these... physically or spiritually support him... depend on u.
Btw, lol...mind if u tell me what's the eagerness to get marry early??? haha... want to hear the answer from some1 who is... if u are not tat some1, then, ignore me... -
See his bank account. If really really no money, then you know the reason. If have money, but no plans, then I guess he's not committed to this relationship.
So I suggest you just leave him don't waste your time anymore! -
aint afraid to share my age... the big 3-0... perhaps it doesnt mean much to a guy.. but for a gal... the biological clock is one tat' acting against it.... sometimes i wonder selfishly... if it might be better for him to find a gal who's younger than me, and then he probably wont feel the time pressure as much...Originally posted by mystee:just curious, how old are u? i think i m much older than u... but good thing are worthwhile to wait for..
dont be so dishearted ya, i think u need a heart to heart talk with him, let him know how u feel & let him tell u how he feel.
perhaps it's juz me making a mountain out of a non-issue... but at least in my shoes... it is real... the anxiety tat's building up... tat' not healthy cos i know it will cause unpleasantness as i tried to get an ans which he wont wan to give... -
nonetheless guys and gals... thanks for your prompt advice... it feels much better to get it out than having to bottle it... perhaps... the best ans.. is to get it straight from the horse' mouth...
thanks a bunch!!! ^,^