I got a friend..
zhabor lah hor this year 16
say she wana be thin...
dun wana eat.. stayed in hostpital for it.. and she still dun learn..
she still don't want to eat..
no matter how much ppl persuade also wont work..
then ar.. it has affected her alot loh..
its like.. she cannot take her national exams cuz she missed too much lessons..
need advice on helping her to eat a little..
and CHANGE her MINDSET
her mindset is.. i wana be thin, thin , thin...
and before she turn anorexic.. she was very slim and.. kinda sexy..
now...bones and skin...
its hurts.
hurts alot.
you all wont understand 1 lah..but then some advice please..
and then serious answer only ahhh..

this is a clone account, but doesn't matter..

Patience is the key.

she was very slim and.. kinda sexy..

Does she has many friends now?

Does she know that anorexia causes irreversible brain damage?

edit-—

Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:

Patience is the key.

Does she has many friends now?

she doesnt go to school anymore..
can conclude not alot of friends..

Best advice is still to persuade her to undergo counselling and to seek professional opinions. Other than that, posting here wouldn't do any good.

You may do your research over internet for all the possible cures/case studies on anorexia and present it to her parents and her for them to understand the seriousness of the issue and all. Other than that, besides giving her support and encouraging her... There is sadly very limited what a friend can do...

Good luck, TS

Originally posted by spadeTwo:

she doesnt go to school anymore..
can conclude not alot of friends..

OK. Anyone else visits her regularly, whether she's in hospital or at home resting?

Maybe the same few could try and persuade her... do some other activities for distraction and include some light exercise which will open up her appetite a bit to take in some food.

the worst thing is..
she wana be thin and nothing else
when she is hungry...
she will go and sleep
she take less than 1 meal a day.....

bring articles on anorexic for her to read up ? find those extreme cases to scare her with it ?

Originally posted by Detached:

Best advice is still to persuade her to undergo counselling and to seek professional opinions. Other than that, posting here wouldn't do any good.

You may do your research over internet for all the possible cures/case studies on anorexia and present it to her parents and her for them to understand the seriousness of the issue and all. Other than that, besides giving her support and encouraging her... There is sadly very limited what a friend can do...

Good luck, TS

she went thru counselling
she told the doctor and her parents that she will be eating..
but she dont..
i did alot of research...
but what i need is to change her mindset rather than making her eat..
because if i can change her mindset.. she will start eating..

Originally posted by Detached:

Best advice is still to persuade her to undergo counselling and to seek professional opinions. Other than that, posting here wouldn't do any good.

You may do your research over internet for all the possible cures/case studies on anorexia and present it to her parents and her for them to understand the seriousness of the issue and all. Other than that, besides giving her support and encouraging her... There is sadly very limited what a friend can do...

Good luck, TS

she went thru counselling
she told the doctor and her parents that she will be eating..
but she dont..
i did alot of research...
but what i need is to change her mindset rather than making her eat..
because if i can change her mindset.. she will start eating..

i seriously need advices to change her mindset..

Originally posted by spadeTwo:

she went thru counselling
she told the doctor and her parents that she will be eating..
but she dont..
i did alot of research...
but what i need is to change her mindset rather than making her eat..
because if i can change her mindset.. she will start eating..

I'm glad you did.

You must understand that it takes time to overcome eating disorder; so be patient with her and continue to give her you support.

It'd be good if she continues with counselling.

Originally posted by Detached:

I'm glad you did.

You must understand that it takes time to overcome eating disorder; so be patient with her and continue to give her you support.

It'd be good if she continues with counselling.

she no longer go for them
and when she go.. she will tell the counseller that she will be eating
in the end...nato

Snitch on her! The counsellor needs to know the truth! I think the counsellor is the best person to help, because you, being untrained, might drive her up a wall and cause her to rebel by bingeing. And because she still wants to keep slim, she'll try to induce vomitting - and this is what we call 'bulimia nervosa'.

Try to get her interested in outdoor “activities”.... was she ever interested in any sports?

there is only so much you can do for her..
she is e only one left to help herself...its not an easy disorder to 'cure'.
it take much patience and attention.

as a friend you can only remind her, be w her, watch out for her...to make sure she eats.

anorexic pple are usually perfectionists...therefore its hard to change their mindset.

i suggest you read up more about this disorder to understand it better.
a very classic example, Karen Carpenter, the famous singer died from it. you shld see how hard she fought against the disorder, got healthy but went back to her old ways again...despite strong support from family, friends and even fans.

Originally posted by Viper`:

Snitch on her! The counsellor needs to know the truth! I think the counsellor is the best person to help, because you, being untrained, might drive her up a wall and cause her to rebel by bingeing. And because she still wants to keep slim, she'll try to induce vomitting - and this is what we call 'bulimia nervosa'.

she no longer get any counselling
and she does not do voluntary vomitting or purging..
she just dont eat...
or eat very little

Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

Try to get her interested in outdoor "activities".... was she ever interested in any sports?

when she exercise.. she also dun wan eat..

you think for one moment she's got energy for anything?

her parents know?

here's a story:

"I met Heather, a 13-year-old girl that wanted to become anorexic. Naturally being 17 and having dealt with it in my past I was all too happy to lend her my advice. So this is the story of how I taught a girl to become anorexic.

"Give me a day with her." I told the mother. She was worried sick about her daughter who wanted to become an anorexic. So she agreed to send her daughter with me for just one day. "I hear you want to become anorexic." I said as we drove to my place. "Yeah, so what? Don't try to tell me all the bad things about it and how it will kill me and...." "Oh no you got me all wrong. I'm here to welcome you into the club!" She looked at me shocked and overwhelmed. "What are you talking about?" "I said I'm here to welcome you to the club. I was anorexic once. Now I just recruit new girls." She seemed amazed and stunned.

When we got to my place I gave her a pen and paper. "Now write down everything you enjoy and love in life." She looked at me blankly. "Go ahead." She did as I told her. While she was writing the phone rang. It was Shawna. She and Nikki were going out for pizza and wanted to know if I would come. I told them about Heather and that I wanted her to come too. They said fine and so I got stuff ready to go. "All done." She said laying down the pen. "Let's see. you've got friends, family, and guys. Is that all? Let's put down life and your future too. Ok?" She nodded. "Ok now we're going out with some of my friends to eat pizza. I hope you don't mind." "No not at all." She said smiling. I slipped the paper into my purse and we left for the pizza place.

When we arrived Shawna and Nikki were waiting with the pizza already on the table. We sat down and I reached for a slice. Heather also reached for one. "You can't do that remember? You're anorexic." I said to her pushing back her hand. "But you're eating!" She exclaimed. "That's beside the point. Besides I just recruit anorexics now, I'm not one." "UH!!!!" She slouched back in her chair. In a few more minutes five young teens walked into the pizza place. They all seemed to recognize Heather and came over. "Hey!" She exclaimed. "Oh hi are you Heathers friends?" I asked them. "Yeah. You wanna sit with us Heather?" one of the girls asked. Heather started to get up but I held her arm. "I'm sorry but she can't hang out with you anymore." I said returning to my pizza. "Why?" One of the others exclaimed. "Because she's anorexic now and she can't have friends." I said. "What are you talking about?" Heather shouted. "No need to get upset. You may as well start out right. Anorexics don't have time for friends. Do they Nikki?" I said. "No you didn't have time for us." She agreed. "Sorry Heather but anorexia is your only friend now. You want to stay thin don't you?" She lowered her head. "Sorry guys, maybe some other time."

On the drive home I went very slowly. We passed a couple on a bridge kissing softly. "You see that Heather?" I asked. "Yeah." "Well mark guys off your list because you won't have any now." I said. "Don't anorexics have boyfriends?" She asked. "Some do. But they don't really have time for love. They're too busy thinking about their weight." Then we passed an old woman sitting on her front porch. "Look at that Heather. At least you won't have to worry about being like that." I said. "But she looks happy." Heather said upset. "True but you won't be happy or old." I said. "What do you mean?" She asked. "You'll die before your old enough to even have a future. Speaking of which get that piece of paper out of my purse, will you?" She did as I asked. "Ok now take the pen in the dashboard and mark off friends, guys, life, and future." She looked up at me. "All that's left is family." I looked toward her. "Mark that off too." "WHAT!" She screamed. "Well you can't expect to love them can you?" I said. "I love my family ok? And if you can't deal with that I don't care!" She began screaming and banged her fist into the door. By that time I had stopped in front of her house. "But you won't have time for..." "Don't tell me that because I will! I will have time and you know why? Because you're crazy! Being thin isn't worth all that!" She screamed as she got out of the car and slammed the door.

That's the story of how Heather found out about anorexia. I'm not anorexic now. All I do is to help girls know how to become the perfect anorexic and all they will have to give up."

Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

Try to get her interested in outdoor "activities".... was she ever interested in any sports?

Originally posted by spadeTwo:

she no longer get any counselling
and she does not do voluntary vomitting or purging..
she just dont eat...
or eat very little

So now your job, is to convince her to seek professional help.

Originally posted by spadeTwo:

when she exercise.. she also dun wan eat..

huh? she actually exercise? Outdoor exercise? In the gym? Alone at home?

Originally posted by Viper`:

So now your job, is to convince her to seek professional help.

she doesnt want
i have to change her thinking myself..

Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

huh? she actually exercise? Outdoor exercise? In the gym? Alone at home?

outdoor..
and she dont feel hungry after them...

Originally posted by the Bear:

you think for one moment she's got energy for anything?

her parents know?

here's a story:

"I met Heather, a 13-year-old girl that wanted to become anorexic. Naturally being 17 and having dealt with it in my past I was all too happy to lend her my advice. So this is the story of how I taught a girl to become anorexic.

"Give me a day with her." I told the mother. She was worried sick about her daughter who wanted to become an anorexic. So she agreed to send her daughter with me for just one day. "I hear you want to become anorexic." I said as we drove to my place. "Yeah, so what? Don't try to tell me all the bad things about it and how it will kill me and...." "Oh no you got me all wrong. I'm here to welcome you into the club!" She looked at me shocked and overwhelmed. "What are you talking about?" "I said I'm here to welcome you to the club. I was anorexic once. Now I just recruit new girls." She seemed amazed and stunned.

When we got to my place I gave her a pen and paper. "Now write down everything you enjoy and love in life." She looked at me blankly. "Go ahead." She did as I told her. While she was writing the phone rang. It was Shawna. She and Nikki were going out for pizza and wanted to know if I would come. I told them about Heather and that I wanted her to come too. They said fine and so I got stuff ready to go. "All done." She said laying down the pen. "Let's see. you've got friends, family, and guys. Is that all? Let's put down life and your future too. Ok?" She nodded. "Ok now we're going out with some of my friends to eat pizza. I hope you don't mind." "No not at all." She said smiling. I slipped the paper into my purse and we left for the pizza place.

When we arrived Shawna and Nikki were waiting with the pizza already on the table. We sat down and I reached for a slice. Heather also reached for one. "You can't do that remember? You're anorexic." I said to her pushing back her hand. "But you're eating!" She exclaimed. "That's beside the point. Besides I just recruit anorexics now, I'm not one." "UH!!!!" She slouched back in her chair. In a few more minutes five young teens walked into the pizza place. They all seemed to recognize Heather and came over. "Hey!" She exclaimed. "Oh hi are you Heathers friends?" I asked them. "Yeah. You wanna sit with us Heather?" one of the girls asked. Heather started to get up but I held her arm. "I'm sorry but she can't hang out with you anymore." I said returning to my pizza. "Why?" One of the others exclaimed. "Because she's anorexic now and she can't have friends." I said. "What are you talking about?" Heather shouted. "No need to get upset. You may as well start out right. Anorexics don't have time for friends. Do they Nikki?" I said. "No you didn't have time for us." She agreed. "Sorry Heather but anorexia is your only friend now. You want to stay thin don't you?" She lowered her head. "Sorry guys, maybe some other time."

On the drive home I went very slowly. We passed a couple on a bridge kissing softly. "You see that Heather?" I asked. "Yeah." "Well mark guys off your list because you won't have any now." I said. "Don't anorexics have boyfriends?" She asked. "Some do. But they don't really have time for love. They're too busy thinking about their weight." Then we passed an old woman sitting on her front porch. "Look at that Heather. At least you won't have to worry about being like that." I said. "But she looks happy." Heather said upset. "True but you won't be happy or old." I said. "What do you mean?" She asked. "You'll die before your old enough to even have a future. Speaking of which get that piece of paper out of my purse, will you?" She did as I asked. "Ok now take the pen in the dashboard and mark off friends, guys, life, and future." She looked up at me. "All that's left is family." I looked toward her. "Mark that off too." "WHAT!" She screamed. "Well you can't expect to love them can you?" I said. "I love my family ok? And if you can't deal with that I don't care!" She began screaming and banged her fist into the door. By that time I had stopped in front of her house. "But you won't have time for..." "Don't tell me that because I will! I will have time and you know why? Because you're crazy! Being thin isn't worth all that!" She screamed as she got out of the car and slammed the door.

That's the story of how Heather found out about anorexia. I'm not anorexic now. All I do is to help girls know how to become the perfect anorexic and all they will have to give up."

reverse psychology ?

Well there's one way you can help her..

Film a video with the casts like researcher, nurse, doctors, patients.. etc... Make it like a documentary show..

Then show it to her..

Originally posted by spadeTwo:

outdoor..
and she dont feel hungry after them...

She exercises regularly outdoors? Alone or with friends?

nope.. showing what she's throwing away to be 'skinny'

btw.. all successful anorexics die ugly

Originally posted by spadeTwo:

reverse psychology ?