i feel so down, so sad. life seems worthless to me...

but i have self reflections... self thoughts postive and negative...
but i still feel so "tight" as if enclosed in a cage...

by having self thoughts and reflections, do i having depression?

*the thread starter's language is poor, please do not critise. thanks.

You just need to spend some quality time on yourself.

yes, dun think so much.
relax ur mind.
its not end of the world yet.

i'm 30 now. have an average job. it seems frds getting lesser and lesser. the fear of loneliness really caught up with me.

my mum passed away because of cancer a few years back. my dad having diagnosed of cancer few months back.

and i have secret which i cant share with my frds, my family.

It seems to me that life is just waiting for death to take it away... i maybe laughing and smiling to my colleagues, to my friends... everyone think i'm a happy guy. but i'm not... this have been going on for so many years... 20 over years... and it seem tat its time to end this soon...

it's time for you to talk your friends. spend your time with your father.

Sometimes it helps to channel your focus in one single direction. IMHO, the best channel will be work/career. You're only 30. Channel your energy into building a career and provide well for your loved ones. One of my biggest regret in life is not being able to provide much for my old man while he was still alive.

You still have your father so spend more time with him. As you become older, the world somehow becomes less forgiving and people around you begin to distance as they build their own lives. Friends and even siblings couple up and get married, they move forward with their own goals… this is part and parcel of life.

It is very normal to experience bouts of sadness especially with what’s going on in your family. It feels as though life is moving forward in languid aimlessness. At least right now you have a reason to hang on and be tough, for your father. Lives come and go in passing. Passing of loved ones is never easy. It takes years for emotional chapters to close. I’m still getting nightmares.

As for secrets, you can always tell it to a stranger or tell it to a tree or something. No history that hasn’t already been made by others. Raped by elder brothers at age 10, abused by uncles at 8 are few of the secrets I’ve heard in my circle. These friends are pushing on and moving on. What hideous past can you possibly have?

I don’t have much advice except to treasure every moment and live for every moment to the best you can. No doubt fleeting, moments lead to a future. Because you are only 30, possibilities tomorrow should spur you on. Grace is the ability to accept changes in your life. When you’ve endured the worst, everything else becomes a stroll in the park. And that is when you learn to adapt and trudge on for your own goals or passion.

Good luck and take care soldier.

blah blah blah

you are only having short term depression, what makes you think like that?

is it because your inability to find a girlfriend which causes you to think like that, i just watch a documentary about this guy with a F U C K E D face, and still able to find a girlfriend, but the show is about dancing and painting... i guess, as i only watched the show about 3 min before i go for a bath

Originally posted by allentyb:

blah blah blah

you are only having short term depression, what makes you think like that?

is it because your inability to find a girlfriend which causes you to think like that, i just watch a documentary about this guy with a F U C K E D face, and still able to find a girlfriend, but the show is about dancing and painting... i guess, as i only watched the show about 3 min before i go for a bath

you should have finish the show...
maybe the girl ditched him at the end.

Nope... u do not have depression...
It is normal for u to feel this way...
U r happy to people who noes u... it means that u live a life without stress... U do not worry for things...
But however, as yr age increases, it is bound for u to face reality... And tat is where u feel a sudden stress in u which causes u to feel this way... And the feeling worsen if u have fewer companions...

If u have this feeling again, just sleep early...
Do some light exercise....
Dont think so much... Coz, in the end, life still need to continue... U may never noe the surprises in the future...
><

Friends, friends, friends... Good ones though.. They are great pillars of strength... Find something you like to do, the more spare time you have in hand, the more wild thoughts will run through your mind...

Occupy yourself with things you like to do, make friends with new wonderful people and if you can, go for a short holiday... I was feeling like crap 3 years ago, and i just bought tickets to Bangkok, flew there alone, shopped till i dropped, flew back, and felt so much better...

Use this time to be your best to your father and say all the "thank you" and "i love you"... And keep him happy... Miracles can happen

You can make yourself happier, if you choose to... You think therefore you are. If you think you are depressed, you will be. If you think you can be better, you will be too

Jia you le!!

life is beautiful

Originally posted by Fiacla:

i'm 30 now. have an average job. it seems frds getting lesser and lesser. the fear of loneliness really caught up with me.

my mum passed away because of cancer a few years back. my dad having diagnosed of cancer few months back.

and i have secret which i cant share with my frds, my family.

It seems to me that life is just waiting for death to take it away... i maybe laughing and smiling to my colleagues, to my friends... everyone think i'm a happy guy. but i'm not... this have been going on for so many years... 20 over years... and it seem tat its time to end this soon...

sounds like depression, go visit a psychiatrist.

Originally posted by Fiacla:

i'm 30 now. have an average job. it seems frds getting lesser and lesser. the fear of loneliness really caught up with me.

my mum passed away because of cancer a few years back. my dad having diagnosed of cancer few months back.

and i have secret which i cant share with my frds, my family.

It seems to me that life is just waiting for death to take it away... i maybe laughing and smiling to my colleagues, to my friends... everyone think i'm a happy guy. but i'm not... this have been going on for so many years... 20 over years... and it seem tat its time to end this soon...

If ur father is gone, are u going to commit suicide? Come on dude, life is nv great... i am depressed too cos i couldn't get a gf also la... but i still have the support from other forumers, e.g. de_middle. In that sense, i felt blessed cos i know i am not alone... there are people who are in the same boat as me.... likewise there will also be people who will be in the same boat as u.

Originally posted by kiss_my (_i_):

life is beautiful

Originally posted by Uncertain:

If ur father is gone, are u going to commit suicide? Come on dude, life is nv great... i am depressed too cos i couldn't get a gf also la... but i still have the support from other forumers, e.g. de_middle. In that sense, i felt blessed cos i know i am not alone... there are people who are in the same boat as me.... likewise there will also be people who will be in the same boat as u.

Ya lor, i also no bf ma...

Better still, no need to report whereabouts, and explain when you get home late, no need to give assurance for 5 mins just coz a friend of opposite sex smsed... Nobody makes me wanna pull my hair...

Originally posted by Delphian:

Ya lor, i also no bf ma...

Better still, no need to report whereabouts, and explain when you get home late, no need to give assurance for 5 mins just coz a friend of opposite sex smsed... Nobody makes me wanna pull my hair...

But deep inside us, we still hope that we can be together with our special one...

TS, if u want to have gf, u can go for SGForum outing or widen ur social circle by joining the activities organised by the CC... it will not be long before u meet ur other half...

Originally posted by Fiacla:

i feel so down, so sad. life seems worthless to me...

but i have self reflections... self thoughts postive and negative...
but i still feel so "tight" as if enclosed in a cage...

by having self thoughts and reflections, do i having depression?

*the thread starter's language is poor, please do not critise. thanks.

do not worry coz we can still understand what ur writing

we all go through fluctuations in everyday life......no one feels on top of the world everday simply because if it was, that person's probably insane himself.

So its normal & its not depression, dun worry too much

Originally posted by Uncertain:

If ur father is gone, are u going to commit suicide? Come on dude, life is nv great... i am depressed too cos i couldn't get a gf also la... but i still have the support from other forumers, e.g. de_middle. In that sense, i felt blessed cos i know i am not alone... there are people who are in the same boat as me.... likewise there will also be people who will be in the same boat as u.

thank you my friend

yup we're around & always will be to possibly guide our troubled forumers

Hey TS, i'm not young either......and i also have few frens coz most of them have since settled down & little children & family life have also taken their time off.

Sgforums has outings occasionally, perhaps you can think of joining one of the outings

Something on depression.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=263084

Originally posted by Uncertain:

But deep inside us, we still hope that we can be together with our special one...

I cannot practise self consolation mehz?

Anyway, if got good la, if really dun have right one, then just enjoy life lorz... Bo Bian...

Originally posted by Delphian:

I cannot practise self consolation mehz?

Anyway, if got good la, if really dun have right one, then just enjoy life lorz... Bo Bian...

Self consolation and "if dun have right one, then just enjoy life lorz" are self deception statements... The thing is if u cannot find the right one, then just settle with an alright one lor.... There is no perfect partner but compromising partner... so if u ever have an admirer who loves u deeply y not give it a try... it is better to be loved than to love.... sometimes though haha...

well wish u luck in finding ur other half

thanks for fellow SGFers replies. i will try to thrive on and spend good times with my dad... but jus hope that the other big half of my life do have miracles...

thanks everyone... jus wanted to find an opening to blurt out last night... thanks again...

You'll never Walk Alone... hope so...

Originally posted by Fiacla:

thanks for fellow SGFers replies. i will try to thrive on and spend good times with my dad... but jus hope that the other big half of my life do have miracles...

thanks everyone... jus wanted to find an opening to blurt out last night... thanks again...

You'll never Walk Alone... hope so...

Fiacla,

u are not the worst, there are people out there who lives on street and eat leftover foods everyday...since they have the courage to live on, y not u? Thinking too much will only leads to more depression. Even if u dun have gf forever (which is unlikely), u still have sgforum...

Like i said, want gf be proactive. build up urself, earn more money, groom urself, go for more outing (even if u are not sociable kind, just go)

Gd luck

Hi Fiacla~

Hmm.. I can understand what u are going thru...

bcos i have gone thru a rough patch also..

be filial to ur Dad while he's still alive..

be there for him, coz at this time, he really needs family love.

I'm quite like you.. smile to people I see everyday, laugh all the time.. but somehow sometimes i feel that only my skin is smiling, not my flesh..

but no matter what.. ONLY YOU can take charge of ur life. ONLY YOU can decide what kind of life u want to lead...

would u rather spend each day happily or frowning away?

All the best to you~

Originally posted by Fiacla:

thanks for fellow SGFers replies. i will try to thrive on and spend good times with my dad... but jus hope that the other big half of my life do have miracles...

thanks everyone... jus wanted to find an opening to blurt out last night... thanks again...

You'll never Walk Alone... hope so...

Hei.. U liverpool fans?

Btw,I think u need to find a life time partner to share yr life ,burden and joy.
Willing to listen to good advise and change yrself are the key to acessing that door of lifetime partner.