My wife always threaten divorce wen we quarrel.How 2 handle?
-
Simple becos they feel that they are more powerful than you. They want to be in total control and they used hurtful words in order to gain the control. They know that you are weak and could be used by them to they wants and needs.Originally posted by de_middle:to simplify.......never push ur luck. why is it pple just dun understand when its enough
They believe that you do not have the guts to do what you say. -
Though i really hate to, i must agree that they really believe that you have the not guts to carry out what you say. Maybe they will regret, some may not. Like the type of man Misty describe about her husband, such obstinate and self-deluded people may just think that you are the one at fault. The fault is never theirs and never will be.Originally posted by Guardx:Simple becos they feel that they are more powerful than you. They want to be in total control and they used hurtful words in order to gain the control. They know that you are weak and could be used by them to they wants and needs.
They believe that you do not have the guts to do what you say. -
hi frustrated..Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:My wife has done it again. After a few days of peace, she mentioned divorce and separation again last night
I must have unknowingly annoyed her and then she purposely suggested the idea again. I did not get angry, but told her it's not funny even as a joke. She then repeated the dreadful suggestion to me again. She knows it irritated me a lot, that's why she did it. Do all people use divorce as a joke or irritate their spouse? Sometimes I wonder if she's pregnant, so illogical...
We did not talk last night and this morning, but we did not argue as well. Just some moody atmosphere hanging around. Feel so sianz...
at one glance, i thot you are a fren of mine..whose wife is also like yours. And u have few things in common
1) married 1yr +
2) in 30s
3) wife alwys mention divorce whenever they quarrel
4) trying for a kid..
but...diff horoscope(pisces & aries)...hehe, and their zodiac is rabbit & horse.now they dun want kid cos, she says next yr bb rat no good for her.so selfish lor
the wife also track hb's every movement, phone calls..whenever phone ring, she will ask few standard questions:
1) Who's that ?
2) Why did they call? this extend to even hb's parents, they also dun dare to call the son anymore :S, so i quite pity the parents.
And If she calls him, she will ask
1) where are you?
2) what / why are you there ?
And guess what, she locks the door when she takes afternoon nap, her hb has to sit outside wait until she wakes up then go into the rm to get his towel for a shower. she looks down on hb's family, so poor man..and the hb so damm scared her..we alwys advise the hb not to let wife know too much abt his cash flow..he paid for ALL expenses at home (incl car!), when the wife earns alot more then him
! -
i'm trying not to get overly paranoid abt married life after reading all these
-
middle,.
dont worry , not all wives are like tat..i nvr ask where my hb goes..haha..dun bother to know..
i only call him once a day, as in what time to pick me. maybe i shd start tracking him..hahaa 
btw, forgot to add, i alwys tell my fren he & his wife shd get GPS..so she can track him via satellite..hahaaa -
wife earns more, yet he pays everything, but still kena looked down? your friend got a really bad deal man!Originally posted by tutu2:hi frustrated..
at one glance, i thot you are a fren of mine..whose wife is also like yours. And u have few things in common
1) married 1yr +
2) in 30s
3) wife alwys mention divorce whenever they quarrel
4) trying for a kid..
but...diff horoscope(pisces & aries)...hehe, and their zodiac is rabbit & horse.now they dun want kid cos, she says next yr bb rat no good for her.so selfish lor
the wife also track hb's every movement, phone calls..whenever phone ring, she will ask few standard questions:
1) Who's that ?
2) Why did they call? this extend to even hb's parents, they also dun dare to call the son anymore :S, so i quite pity the parents.
And If she calls him, she will ask
1) where are you?
2) what / why are you there ?
And guess what, she locks the door when she takes afternoon nap, her hb has to sit outside wait until she wakes up then go into the rm to get his towel for a shower. she looks down on hb's family, so poor man..and the hb so damm scared her..we alwys advise the hb not to let wife know too much abt his cash flow..he paid for ALL expenses at home (incl car!), when the wife earns alot more then him! -
hehe..yah..bad deal..the wife purposely step on his feet on their wedding day..so he damm scared of her..i nvr see a man like him b4Originally posted by galfriend:wife earns more, yet he pays everything, but still kena looked down? your friend got a really bad deal man! -
they always say that guys change alot before & after marraige..........now that seems to be equal for both gender i guessOriginally posted by tutu2:middle,.
dont worry , not all wives are like tat..i nvr ask where my hb goes..haha..dun bother to know.. i only call him once a day, as in what time to pick me. maybe i shd start tracking him..hahaa
btw, forgot to add, i alwys tell my fren he & his wife shd get GPS..so she can track him via satellite..hahaaa
thanks for your assurance though -
aiyo, stepping on feet really works meh? got so easy?Originally posted by tutu2:hehe..yah..bad deal..the wife purposely step on his feet on their wedding day..so he damm scared of her..i nvr see a man like him b4
-
I got a shock when I read this. How come so similar? Is the wife a lost twin sister of my wife?Originally posted by tutu2:hi frustrated..
at one glance, i thot you are a fren of mine..whose wife is also like yours. And u have few things in common
1) married 1yr +
2) in 30s
3) wife alwys mention divorce whenever they quarrel
4) trying for a kid..
but...diff horoscope(pisces & aries)...hehe, and their zodiac is rabbit & horse.now they dun want kid cos, she says next yr bb rat no good for her.so selfish lor
the wife also track hb's every movement, phone calls..whenever phone ring, she will ask few standard questions:
1) Who's that ?
2) Why did they call? this extend to even hb's parents, they also dun dare to call the son anymore :S, so i quite pity the parents.
And If she calls him, she will ask
1) where are you?
2) what / why are you there ?
And guess what, she locks the door when she takes afternoon nap, her hb has to sit outside wait until she wakes up then go into the rm to get his towel for a shower. she looks down on hb's family, so poor man..and the hb so damm scared her..we alwys advise the hb not to let wife know too much abt his cash flow..he paid for ALL expenses at home (incl car!), when the wife earns alot more then him!
Frankly, for your friend and myself, point no.3 and 4 contradict each other. If the wife wants out of this marriage, why have kids in the 1st place? If the kid come out liao, then both still cannot live in peace, then separate, the kid will suffer! Both my wife and I love kids, but I do not want my kid(if anyway) to suffer if we cannot get along. I can imagine if my kid like me next time grow up liao, surely disobey my wife one.
Anyway, I earn more than my wife, but I always undervalue my financial status. We do not own a car, so nothing to grumble about. As for scared of her, it actually hurts more than scared. If I were to agree to the divorce, it will break her heart. Somehow, I suspect it could be a wilful irresponsible statement to spite me, but she's real good at doing this -
Don't worry. Not all wives are like that. I know of couples who go separately to different pubs to chiong, then come back still lovey-dovey. Then other guys weekend can go play sports with their friends.Originally posted by de_middle:i'm trying not to get overly paranoid abt married life after reading all these -
i'm not particularly afraid of "reporting" & accompanying all day long.....but i hate arguments & especially those that has no basis.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Don't worry. Not all wives are like that. I know of couples who go separately to different pubs to chiong, then come back still lovey-dovey. Then other guys weekend can go play sports with their friends.
Is it necessary to decide who pays for what in the household
Somehow, i feel its important to state all these issues before signing the papers i am really afraid & scared of quarrels & fights between couples -
Yup, guys do not really have an argument in mind when they go home. They just want peace, dinner, and hobbies. But wife would tin no attention from them and seek it, through subtle indirect means!Originally posted by de_middle:i'm not particularly afraid of "reporting" & accompanying all day long.....but i hate arguments & especially those that has no basis.
Is it necessary to decide who pays for what in the household
Somehow, i feel its important to state all these issues before signing the papers i am really afraid & scared of quarrels & fights between couples
And when a fight ensue, it's like a bomb explode in front of me. Don't know what happen, just kanna...
Stating things before marriage doesn't seem to help, girls change a lot. What if they say "when we agree at that time, we don't have baby, now I got baby, can't you pay more?!" -
never end will it.....looks like a trap to meOriginally posted by Frustrated_guy:Yup, guys do not really have an argument in mind when they go home. They just want peace, dinner, and hobbies. But wife would tin no attention from them and seek it, through subtle indirect means!
And when a fight ensue, it's like a bomb explode in front of me. Don't know what happen, just kanna...
Stating things before marriage doesn't seem to help, girls change a lot. What if they say "when we agree at that time, we don't have baby, now I got baby, can't you pay more?!" -
In this particular case you cannot claim that you "don't know what happen"
Because you already know that she wants attention from you, but you refuse to give it to her , choosing to do what you want instead.
So her reaction is predictable and obvious isn't it.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Yup, guys do not really have an argument in mind when they go home. They just want peace, dinner, and hobbies. But wife would tin no attention from them and seek it, through subtle indirect means!
And when a fight ensue, it's like a bomb explode in front of me. Don't know what happen, just kanna... -
To be ready for marriage, you must understand and ACCEPT that marriage is work. To maintain a happy marriage is hard, tedious, continuous work. You will not be a loving couple by magic. It takes plenty of understanding and sacrifice to achieve that. Marriages that succeed are couples who find that the effort put in is worth it because of the happiness they get out of being together.
If one is unprepared and afraid of work.... then chances of the marriage succeding is reduced.Originally posted by de_middle:never end will it.....looks like a trap to me -
Hmmm ... this thread has gone a long way. It must be very frustrating. I got frustrated by all these nimbo jambo wubo.
If a person keeps mouthing divorce, it is already in the person's sub-conscious. If not, it must be schizophrenia.
If you are not insane, lay down the cards on the table and find a solution. Your nimbo state is truly in limbo. Is breaking up hard to do or won't do?
All these mambo jambo talks are not going to be helpful. Decide whether you want to remain sane or go to IMH one day.
Remember this: love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener. Also, only living together will you get to know a person, even this may take years!
If you project that the marriage is not going to work, better to call it quits before too many attachments come along.
Our problems is: we dare not make a move because we don't want to be a laughing stock. Perhaps, there are too many vested interests and issues. Divorce is seen as a failure and a social stigma. So, people remain stuck just so the face can look pretty! But they are in a state of denial - denying reality and the chance to a happier life. Why settle down to the mundane, the mindless, the unhappiness, the frustrations? -
sorry.. side track a bitOriginally posted by TheGoodEarth:Hmmm ... this thread has gone a long way. It must be very frustrating. I got frustrated by all these nimbo jambo wubo.
If a person keeps mouthing divorce, it is already in the person's sub-conscious. If not, it must be schizophrenia.
If you are not insane, lay down the cards on the table and find a solution. Your nimbo state is truly in limbo. Is breaking up hard to do or won't do?
All these mambo jambo talks are not going to be helpful. Decide whether you want to remain sane or go to IMH one day.
Remember this: love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener. Also, only living together will you get to know a person, even this may take years!
If you project that the marriage is not going to work, better to call it quits before too many attachments come along.
Our problems is: we dare not make a move because we don't want to be a laughing stock. Perhaps, there are too many vested interests and issues. Divorce is seen as a failure and a social stigma. So, people remain stuck just so the face can look pretty! But they are in a state of denial - denying reality and the chance to a happier life. Why settle down to the mundane, the mindless, the unhappiness, the frustrations?
but learnt a new word today: nimbo jambo wubo!! -
never afraid of hardwork at all, never afraid of giving my fullest attention. am just afraid of unreasonable behaviour in return, if you know what i mean.Originally posted by choco B:To be ready for marriage, you must understand and ACCEPT that marriage is work. To maintain a happy marriage is hard, tedious, continuous work. You will not be a loving couple by magic. It takes plenty of understanding and sacrifice to achieve that. Marriages that succeed are couples who find that the effort put in is worth it because of the happiness they get out of being together.
If one is unprepared and afraid of work.... then chances of the marriage succeding is reduced.
when that happens, its going to be very tiring, streanous & stressful. don't you agree -
Haha
If this is so, other than the unavoidable risk of "sh|t happening to good people" and Murphy's Law compounded with inexplicable suayness, all you have to be afraid of is your judgement in choosing a partner.Originally posted by de_middle:never afraid of hardwork at all, never afraid of giving my fullest attention. am just afraid of unreasonable behaviour in return, if you know what i mean.
when that happens, its going to be very tiring, streanous & stressful. don't you agree -
simplify to just two words......no guaranteesOriginally posted by choco B:Haha
If this is so, other than the unavoidable risk of "sh|t happening to good people" and Murphy's Law compounded with inexplicable suayness, all you have to be afraid of is your judgement in choosing a partner.
i guess that's the fun of it too -
Ya no guarantees but choosing wisely and with eyes wide OPEN would be a good start.
Try to avoid choosing a wife like TS's - say she berserker still so happy and proud machiam complimentOriginally posted by de_middle:simplify to just two words......no guarantees
i guess that's the fun of it too -
Originally posted by choco B:Ya no guarantees but choosing wisely and with eyes wide OPEN would be a good start.
Try to avoid choosing a wife like TS's - say she berserker still so happy and proud machiam compliment -
Huh! go office have to work, marriage also have to work..wha! tire liao, better not marry. So what is the job scope in marriage. Perhap the main one is to work on Sex.Originally posted by choco B:To be ready for marriage, you must understand and ACCEPT that marriage is work. To maintain a happy marriage is hard, tedious, continuous work. You will not be a loving couple by magic. It takes plenty of understanding and sacrifice to achieve that. Marriages that succeed are couples who find that the effort put in is worth it because of the happiness they get out of being together.
If one is unprepared and afraid of work.... then chances of the marriage succeding is reduced. -
Why would someone marry just for sex?Originally posted by angel7030:Huh! go office have to work, marriage also have to work..wha! tire liao, better not marry. So what is the job scope in marriage. Perhap the main one is to work on Sex.