My wife always threaten divorce wen we quarrel.How 2 handle?
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Yes! top class posting, i can use it in my sociology paper, Yeah!Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:Hmmm ... this thread has gone a long way. It must be very frustrating. I got frustrated by all these nimbo jambo wubo.
If a person keeps mouthing divorce, it is already in the person's sub-conscious. If not, it must be schizophrenia.
If you are not insane, lay down the cards on the table and find a solution. Your nimbo state is truly in limbo. Is breaking up hard to do or won't do?
All these mambo jambo talks are not going to be helpful. Decide whether you want to remain sane or go to IMH one day.
Remember this: love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener. Also, only living together will you get to know a person, even this may take years!
If you project that the marriage is not going to work, better to call it quits before too many attachments come along.
Our problems is: we dare not make a move because we don't want to be a laughing stock. Perhaps, there are too many vested interests and issues. Divorce is seen as a failure and a social stigma. So, people remain stuck just so the face can look pretty! But they are in a state of denial - denying reality and the chance to a happier life. Why settle down to the mundane, the mindless, the unhappiness, the frustrations?
I also feel that keep bringing out the term divorce is real childish and nonsensical, as husband and wife, both should be able to sit down and talk it over, if divorce, so be it, better for everyone, if love still exist within both of them, then they should be mature enough to find a solution.
Tho I am a gal, I really cannot tarhan a wife keep mentioning divorce here n there, so be it, record it down, show it as a prove that she is the one who mentioned it, get in those hungry divorce attorney and settle it once and for all, then go look for other gals like me still single and waiting for LOVE. -
The wife is emotionally blackmailing the husband knowing the husband will give in to her every time she threatened with divorce, which is not only childish but unscrupulous. If this is the kind of 'understanding' they have then good luck to their marriage. Sooner or later the husband one of this day will grant her, her wish that is to divorce her.
Anyway this kind of wife 'yau bu yau du wu suo wei'
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this is a rocky relationship. I will go crazy if I am you.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:My wife has done it again. After a few days of peace, she mentioned divorce and separation again last night
I must have unknowingly annoyed her and then she purposely suggested the idea again. I did not get angry, but told her it's not funny even as a joke. She then repeated the dreadful suggestion to me again. She knows it irritated me a lot, that's why she did it. Do all people use divorce as a joke or irritate their spouse? Sometimes I wonder if she's pregnant, so illogical...
We did not talk last night and this morning, but we did not argue as well. Just some moody atmosphere hanging around. Feel so sianz... -
I think TS wife is a bit ...Originally posted by dreamykite:this is a rocky relationship. I will go crazy if I am you.
Sorry TS... -
my bro a Cancer and my sis-in-law an Aries. I get along ok with both of them but they dont get along well with each other. My bro never talk to my sis-in-law for a few months already due to a quarrel. They have a son. They seldom go out together, but father and son or mother and son outing. I think my sis-in-law seems miserable. I talk to my bro to treat sis-in-law better, but he will just complain her.
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Then dun find fault lah... you find fault with her mah...
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I think you should try to seek professional help.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:My wife has done it again. After a few days of peace, she mentioned divorce and separation again last night
I must have unknowingly annoyed her and then she purposely suggested the idea again. I did not get angry, but told her it's not funny even as a joke. She then repeated the dreadful suggestion to me again. She knows it irritated me a lot, that's why she did it. Do all people use divorce as a joke or irritate their spouse? Sometimes I wonder if she's pregnant, so illogical...
We did not talk last night and this morning, but we did not argue as well. Just some moody atmosphere hanging around. Feel so sianz...
The reason why your wife mention divorce and separation is because her mind is churning, and churning. She is festering over some hurt. And in this emotional misery, wants out.
She has no control over her mind/emotions. You cannot speak to her. It will only start another round. A third party is needed, to mediate. Someone neutral, and a stranger. This will be difficult, and an intermediary would yet be needed to persuade her to counselling.
She needs to be counseled on how to recognise her emotional patterns, how to handle hurts, disappointments and frustratiiohs, and to avoid destructive thinking.
Start checking out CDCs in your area, and make enquires discretely first.
Go one step at a time.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. -
The leopard will not change its spotsOriginally posted by mancha:I think you should try to seek professional help.
The reason why your wife mention divorce and separation is because her mind is churning, and churning. She is festering over some hurt. And in this emotional misery, wants out.
She has no control over her mind/emotions. You cannot speak to her. It will only start another round. A third party is needed, to mediate. Someone neutral, and a stranger. This will be difficult, and an intermediary would yet be needed to persuade her to counselling.
She needs to be counseled on how to recognise her emotional patterns, how to handle hurts, disappointments and frustratiiohs, and to avoid destructive thinking.
Start checking out CDCs in your area, and make enquires discretely first.
Go one step at a time.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. -
I'm a cancerian and my hubby is an aries. though we do have our arguments, it doesn't take us longer than at most 1 more day to make up. But more importantly, regardless of how much we disagree, I don't doubt that he loves me (and vice versa)Originally posted by dreamykite:my bro a Cancer and my sis-in-law an Aries. I get along ok with both of them but they dont get along well with each other. My bro never talk to my sis-in-law for a few months already due to a quarrel. They have a son. They seldom go out together, but father and son or mother and son outing. I think my sis-in-law seems miserable. I talk to my bro to treat sis-in-law better, but he will just complain her.
Actually the TS shd just ask the wife one day if it is what she really wants. Give her one day to think about it and walk out.
she sure tantrum one. All these tantrums lah.
If she is so unhappy then no point continue the marriage lah. If not, make sure she damn blardy don't bring it up again. -
Originally posted by angel7030:Yes! top class posting, i can use it in my sociology paper, Yeah!
When you get top score, don't forget to buy me lunch.
.........., get in those hungry divorce attorney and settle it once and for all, then go look for other gals like me still single and waiting for LOVE.
My LOVE boat is waiting for you.Originally posted by angel7030:Huh! go office have to work, marriage also have to work..wha! tire liao, better not marry. So what is the job scope in marriage. Perhap the main one is to work on Sex.
You don't have to get married to work on Sex. So, is marriage an excuse to have sex or is sex an excuse to get married? Let me know when you are ready to work. -
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Originally posted by RonDaGuy:
err bro I think you got the wrong idea. This guy is trying his best to make the marriage work not his wife. The target person is the wife not the guy.
sorry for the caps. i just don't like to see any other couple break up or divorce.
THINK of why you marry her in the first place. Think of the fun times together.
PLEASE tell her these too. Don't let MONEY, Friends, Colleagues or anything
get in your relationship.
Don't waste all your years of efforts.
If you divorce and seek out other girls, you will have to go through everything again! Why don't you just love her when all other girls are the same?
She is already customised to you!! Not other girls!
You are already customised to her! That makes you a way better man already.
Change for one another. Why give it up and restart with another risky r/s?
You have pulled through so much why give up now?
Try for a baby! new life brings new phase to your relationship.
You will just keep breaking up/divorcing even if it's a new relationship with another girl. Maybe you won't because you don't want to divorce twice but you will eventually get stucked in another sucky r/s.
You will definately regret your decision. Don't do stuffs that you will regret later.
[b]"SOMEONE OUT THERE IS BETTER" > is totally crap.
ALL couples are not born to suit one another! they are customised over the years to one another. no matter who your partner is, the same thing applies.
Since it's a woman you are gonna marry and have kids eventually, why not just stay with the one you care and love right now.
Give and Take. Customised. Change.
Tell her to read this thread you made. Tell her you are concern.
That should solve it.
[/b][/b]
From all his answers only shows that he loves his wife more than himself.
The wife knows this and is using this against him. To be honest without his love for her he could have long give up on the relationship.
Try this if your gf keep asking to breakup everytime you meet, how long can you last before you give in? Is easy to say that " i just don't like to see any other couple break up or divorce." but have you ever experience what he is going through? -
Maybe its his rotten luck to find this type of wife. Other woman might make a better wife then this mad woman. See, he got so many galfriends last time, must be no worries in getting another woman.
This emotional blackmailing is just so harmful. Buay tahan. Grant her her wish lah.
Last time I had a boyfriend who does emotional controlling too, I cannot tahan and break off with him, i am happier with my current one and have no regrets in leaving him.
LIFE WILL BE BETTER WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT WOMAN. -
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:she sure tantrum one. All these tantrums lah.
If she is so unhappy then no point continue the marriage lah. If not, make sure she damn blardy don't bring it up again. -
The main problem lies with him, if he can handle it then we will have no say for it. If he wants a change then come back to us.Originally posted by xiaoxui:Maybe its his rotten luck to find this type of wife. Other woman might make a better wife then this mad woman. See, he got so many galfriends last time, must be no worries in getting another woman.
SEPARATE FROM HER FOR A WHILE, SEE IF THAT'S BETTER. GET RID OF HER EMOTIONAL CONTROL.
ROD STEWARD CHANGES TILL HE FOUND HIS CURRENT WIFE WHOM HE SAID IS THE LAST TIME HE MARRIES.
LIFE WILL BE BETTER WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT WOMAN.
Action speak louder than words. If he got the guts to go for a change then life will be better if not life will get worst cos the wife will be stronger and push him over. -
Hi Guys/Gals,
Thanks for the advice, whether it's positive or negative. Yes, I do love her. But it's slowly taking a toll on me. I think she's being emotionally angry, and do not know what she doing?! Last night, I discussed something with her. We had this common interest for a specific language and asked her if she's interested in taking the test together at the end of the year. No prizes for her response. But strangely, I was not affected. Perhaps I already got numb to her "pour cold water" stunts liao.
Not much good news to report. I think maybe I may not have paid enough attention to her, that's why she like to scold me. We ended up sleeping with her scolding me. I tried to reason with her, but doesn't seem to work. Hmmm. I notice a change in myself too. I used to dread going to work, but recently when I wake up, I can't seem to want to get out and go to work. Then end of the day, I just take my time to return home. As I analyse myself, I beginning to fear the results.
But I'm usually stronger and a lot more postive than that. This morning as I go to work, I saw this smoking bus ad that says, "Want to quit? Give it a try." I can't help but laugh at myself. If there's an angel and devil that tells me what to do, the latter is jolly well doing a good job -
Yeah...you love your wife, but do your wife love you equally? Marriage takes two hand to clap. Nobody can stand narcissistic behaviour.
Never love anything that can't love you back
a wise old woman said: "I don't think the devil looks ugly and frightening. If he did, people wouldn't find him so attractive. The devil must be a handsome man." And the devil's sister is a pretty woman, as often as not. -
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Anytown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, and so on.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had left the church except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now, this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey! Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "I've been married to your sister for 25 years." -
hi frustrated,Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Hi Guys/Gals,
Thanks for the advice, whether it's positive or negative. Yes, I do love her. But it's slowly taking a toll on me. I think she's being emotionally angry, and do not know what she doing?! Last night, I discussed something with her. We had this common interest for a specific language and asked her if she's interested in taking the test together at the end of the year. No prizes for her response. But strangely, I was not affected. Perhaps I already got numb to her "pour cold water" stunts liao.
Not much good news to report. I think maybe I may not have paid enough attention to her, that's why she like to scold me. We ended up sleeping with her scolding me. I tried to reason with her, but doesn't seem to work. Hmmm. I notice a change in myself too. I used to dread going to work, but recently when I wake up, I can't seem to want to get out and go to work. Then end of the day, I just take my time to return home. As I analyse myself, I beginning to fear the results.
But I'm usually stronger and a lot more postive than that. This morning as I go to work, I saw this smoking bus ad that says, "Want to quit? Give it a try." I can't help but laugh at myself. If there's an angel and devil that tells me what to do, the latter is jolly well doing a good job
you sound like you are giving up..i duno wat to say, i feel that my fren shd be prepare for divorce anytime.cos that mad wife IS capable of doing it. I cannot imagine she locks her hb out of the room, it was a shock to me
i cannot imagine he is such a Mr Nice Guy, maybe he's too scared of the wife.she basically can scold him anyway, even in front of their parents, like lecturing a kid -
That is the problem of being a nice guy. If you treat people nice, people will step all over you. Thats life. They will give you lots of excues to cover it up but in fact they know the truth.Originally posted by tutu2:hi frustrated,
you sound like you are giving up..i duno wat to say, i feel that my fren shd be prepare for divorce anytime.cos that mad wife IS capable of doing it. I cannot imagine she locks her hb out of the room, it was a shock to me
i cannot imagine he is such a Mr Nice Guy, maybe he's too scared of the wife.she basically can scold him anyway, even in front of their parents, like lecturing a kid
For your friend, no point talking about divorce to him cos he is too weak to listern. If you day he comes to you and say he want to divorce then help him or else is a waste of time, listern to a weak and useless guy crap so much and still do not do anything about it. -
This is what we call running away from problem.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Hi Guys/Gals,
Thanks for the advice, whether it's positive or negative. Yes, I do love her. But it's slowly taking a toll on me. I think she's being emotionally angry, and do not know what she doing?! Last night, I discussed something with her. We had this common interest for a specific language and asked her if she's interested in taking the test together at the end of the year. No prizes for her response. But strangely, I was not affected. Perhaps I already got numb to her "pour cold water" stunts liao.
Not much good news to report. I think maybe I may not have paid enough attention to her, that's why she like to scold me. We ended up sleeping with her scolding me. I tried to reason with her, but doesn't seem to work. Hmmm. I notice a change in myself too. I used to dread going to work, but recently when I wake up, I can't seem to want to get out and go to work. Then end of the day, I just take my time to return home. As I analyse myself, I beginning to fear the results.
But I'm usually stronger and a lot more postive than that. This morning as I go to work, I saw this smoking bus ad that says, "Want to quit? Give it a try." I can't help but laugh at myself. If there's an angel and devil that tells me what to do, the latter is jolly well doing a good job
No worries it will get worst.
I can even predict the next stage
she will complain why you like work so much is it?
Or complain you must be having another gf. -
lol everytime she quarre jus kiss her mouth, take her clothes off n haf a hot sex wif her...Originally posted by Fatum:try post quarrel sex ...
no, I'm serious ! .... turn the furry into passion ... grab her and hurry her to bed ... -
1Originally posted by Stoat:lol everytime she quarre jus kiss her mouth, take her clothes off n haf a hot sex wif her...
maybe she will use her teeth to bite you mouth kick your dick. who knows -
how do you know? Do you have such a wife too?Originally posted by Guardx:This is what we call running away from problem.
No worries it will get worst.
I can even predict the next stage
she will complain why you like work so much is it?
Or complain you must be having another gf.