Though this probably isn't much of an agony, I'll still appreciate some comments from forumers here.

heh heh.

sorry, no comments.

Most probably interested in you. If you’re interested in him, then let him be and let it progress. If you’re not, let him know. Body language plays a huge part.

so..

for now you just want to screw him?

Is he still single ?

If he is a bachelor, I say go for it girl.

If not, tongues will wag. Heads will roll.
Please don't jeopordise your career or his.

Have you dated any ang moh before ?
If you are a very self-conscious person, it ain't gonna be easy.

Anyway, no venture no gain.
Brace yourself for any rejection, just in case yah ?
And good luck.

Originally posted by euc:

so..

for now you just want to screw him?

that's the summary

You need to isolate him from his and your colleagues, that is, get him out of the office to socialise with him in a place other than the office coz signals sent in office may not match those sent outside the office.

Try to get his mobile no to stay in touch. You may casually suggest going for a coffee after work. Guys do appreciate girls taking the initiative once in a while....

More observation needs to be cnducted before any conclusion can be derived.......
Stat tuned!

Originally posted by jackdaniels:

Though this probably isn't much of an agony, I'll still appreciate some comments from forumers here.

I'm involved in a project at work that will end in a few weeks' time. There is a colleague who I think (and I do not know for sure) may be interested in me. Because this may be a figment of my over active imagination, I'm wondering about your take.

He's older, and in a respected position. A few weeks ago, I worked up the nerve to ask him for some pointers but that was out of curiousity and respect. I saw it as an opportunity to learn from a master and he was pleasantly enthusiastic about teaching. Afterwards, I thought I saw him look at me several times, first time he was a little embarrassed about it and quickly walked away and went screaming at others. Subsequent times, he would stare at me blatantly from a distance (either that or he had a lot on his mind and was simply zoning out). Now, I'm not grossly gorgeous or sexy, I usually dress and look like sh*t when I work but have always had my fair share of suitors in and around my social/public life.

Sometimes he's asked stupid questions, afterwards, seemed enthusiastic and puppyish in just greeting, smiling, or striking a conversation with me. We don't have many opportunities to banter because he's either always needed somewhere by someone or when he's by my side, someone else cuts in and whisks him away.

He may have loosened up and gotten friendlier, become gentler and more helpful because I've been receiving acknowledgement by his counterparts at work for what I do. Either that or he may be sending me signals he is interested just by the way he communicates. Generally he has a serious profile, people may be friendly around him but they wouldn't dare get funny because he has fired people as he sees fit.

I do not wish to be seen as a helpless little woman receiving his help just because of testosterone. Other times, I do not wish to be seen getting too friendly with just him because it would easily look like I'm apple polishing, being flirtatious with the inner circle just to get ahead, I've never done that and there is no need for me to. Which also explains why I look like sh*t and dress like sh*t to avoid unnecessary attention at work. At the same time, I realise yesterday, that his attention also means others are thinking twice about making my life difficult at work. He may be trying to help me, protect me because he recognizes my abilities. Or he is feeling the heat too.

I don't have an agenda and I know I should not be crapping my own backyard, sh*t where I eat etc, however you want to call it. But I'm feeling the heat and I rarely feel the heat, I'm attracted (even though he is older and he isn't visually stimulating) because I'm full of admiration, curiousity and I get a kick out of this whole thing.

Wondering if I should make a move because when the project ends in a few weeks, I won't get to see him anymore. I tried going out for drinks with my colleagues but he and the inner circle was never around and that explains why. Sometimes people draw the line.

At the same time, I do not want to be this crap stupid spg who screws up a great job or a neat reputation just because she mistook general friendliness as something more.

I'm sorry I sound like a 14yo air head again but this person has to undertake responsibility for my dissatisfaction and sleeplessness.

By the way, I'm not thinking of a relationship. This is purely a biological respond/need. More of mating. Copulating. Fornicating. However you wish to say it is. If I do make a move or respond, my gut says it will lead to something more.

hey 14 yo gal.. You are already adult rite? Stop thinking like a kid. If you're not thinking of relationship , then why think bout if hes interested in you.. cmon la.. just giving excuse ? Be friends 1st later you both wil have plenty time to talk if he somehow give you his email or watever.. Take things slow la

Conclusion: You're thinking too much..

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Is he still single ?

If he is a bachelor, I say go for it girl.

If not, tongues will wag. Heads will roll.
Please don't jeopordise your career or his.

Have you dated any ang moh before ?
If you are a very self-conscious person, it ain't gonna be easy.

Anyway, no venture no gain.
Brace yourself for any rejection, just in case yah ?
And good luck.

I have no idea whether he is taken (frankly it's not that important). No wedding ring, but then again few in my line will wear matrimony on their fingers. Dated one before but generally we don't gravitate. They are too far away from home and can't listen to soppy chinese songs or appreciate dialogue from HK films. It's alien.

Yeah I'm extremely self conscious. And have since woken up this morning in full consciousness. I'm awake. This is my boss's mate. I should just steer clear and keep my crap outside of work.

Originally posted by de_middle:

that's the summary

Yep that's the summary.

Originally posted by :

You need to isolate him from his and your colleagues, that is, get him out of the office to socialise with him in a place other than the office coz signals sent in office may not match those sent outside the office.

Try to get his mobile no to stay in touch. You may casually suggest going for a coffee after work. Guys do appreciate girls taking the initiative once in a while....

More observation needs to be cnducted before any conclusion can be derived.......
Stat tuned!

We don't work in an office. When he's not in an office he is doing something moving something carrying something thinking about something walking somewhere or talking to somebody. He has ADD (I think). If he dines alone someone interrupts him in less than a minute. In 5 minutes others join him. He is never alone. When he's alone and thinking I'm not in the position to walk over and make conversation because he's probably really thinking about something. Which is truly bad.

We finish work either midnight or 3am. There is no where to go sip coffee. He gulps coffee when he works, after wards he gulps beer when work is done and I go off when I finish. Nobody wants to stay in that crap place after their work is done. Well I did ask him if he was joining us for drinks last weekend, he said he was surely going to be there but never showed up. Only one of his friends did. And the company bored the hell out of him as well.

I cannot possibly find out about his availability from anyone else at work. Because it's so blatant if I even hint at it or ask. Tongues will roll and heads will wag.

Originally posted by jackdaniels:

I have no idea whether he is taken (frankly it's not that important). No wedding ring, but then again few in my line will wear matrimony on their fingers. Dated one before but generally we don't gravitate. They are too far away from home and can't listen to soppy chinese songs or appreciate dialogue from HK films. It's alien.

Yeah I'm extremely self conscious. And have since woken up this morning in full consciousness. I'm awake. This is my boss's mate. I should just steer clear and keep my crap outside of work.

What about the other guy ?

So, this one is your boss's mate. Tough call.
You should just sit back, wait and see if the fish is gonna come to your hook.
If he does, great ( if he is not taken, yes it does matter if both of you work in the same line.)
If not, don't initiate.

Originally posted by Zarks:

hey 14 yo gal.. You are already adult rite? Stop thinking like a kid. If you're not thinking of relationship , then why think bout if hes interested in you.. cmon la.. just giving excuse ? Be friends 1st later you both wil have plenty time to talk if he somehow give you his email or watever.. Take things slow la

Conclusion: You're thinking too much..

No I'm a kid trapped in an adult's body. I'm just 13 and taking notes sometimes. Hey I agree I probably think too much. I'm female. I'm entitled to think way too much. I'm biologically programmed to think excessively and no one should fault me for that. Sometimes people flirt a little at work just to take the boredom out of the daily grind. Don't think there'll be too many opportunities to take it slow though, he's probably out of the country when work is done.

Originally posted by jojobeach:

What about the other guy ?

So, this one is your boss's mate. Tough call.
You should just sit back, wait and see if the fish is gonna come to your hook.
If he does, great ( if he is not taken, yes it does matter if both of you work in the same line.)
If not, don't initiate.

Which other guy? Mr G? Mr G is still alive and probably acquiring new primate positions from his china counterparts as we chat. I told him there is nothing he has that I could possibly want anymore and he should stop contacting me since he isn't here with me. He pretends I was on PMS. Then pretends I never brought it up. All he could do is tell me occasionally that he misses me very much, which frankly to me is rubbish. Because he is a man and if a man wants me around, he could've easily just given me an air ticket and said Jackie, join me here for a few days. Because he hasn't offered, I am assuming he does not want me. His I miss you and I miss home, I hate my job sweet nothings should sing to 18yo girls who thrive on romance novels. I'm too old for that kind of crap.

Originally posted by jackdaniels:

Tongues will roll and heads will wag.

Very funny. Girl you do have a sense of humour.

Don't you have his email or mobile phone ?

Try this. Works all the time for me so far.

Send him an email or text message.

" May I buy you beer ?"

Originally posted by jackdaniels:

Which other guy? Mr G?

Yes Mr G Spot.

erm...............
at the place where i worked...pple openly flirted with others ...though it's (im guessing) all just for fun. after all, most are married....
work is work...if he flirts with u, play along lor...
but i wont suggest actually farking him...

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Very funny. Girl you do have a sense of humour.

Don't you have his email or mobile phone ?

Try this. Works all the time for me so far.

Send him an email or text message.

" May I buy you beer ?"

Jojo jie, I do that and it becomes some kind of private joke that he sends around or shows his friends, I am more or less done for. I buy him a beer is not an option. It's like a sleazy bar pick up.

Originally posted by udontknowme:

erm...............
at the place where i worked...pple openly flirted with others ...though it's (im guessing) all just for fun. after all, most are married....
work is work...if he flirts with u, play along lor...
but i wont suggest actually farking him...

i don't know you (i hope not anyway)

I don't flirt at work. No need to flirt at work, can't be bothered to flirt at work. Work is too important to flirt around with. I probably outgrown it or I'm just a plain old bore. It's just sad pointless flirting at all if you're not even interested in getting laid. If you're too suggestive at all, you can sure as hell bet no one is going to give you too much respect. Maybe I haven't acquired enough to flirt and still be classy about it.

Originally posted by jackdaniels:

Jojo jie, I do that and it becomes some kind of private joke that he sends around or shows his friends, I am more or less done for. I buy him a beer is not an option. It's like a sleazy bar pick up.

JD,

Have some confidence in your choice of man.

Surely, if he is such a shady character, he probably wouldn't be respected now, would he ?

Ok, so you think maybe beer is too sleazy.. how about a cup of gourmet/ irish coffee ? ( to perk things up ?) pun intended.....

Originally posted by jojobeach:

JD,

Have some confidence in your choice of man.

Surely, if he is such a shady character, he probably wouldn't be respected now, would he ?

Ok, so you think maybe beer is too sleazy.. how about a cup of gourmet/ irish coffee ? ( to perk things up ?) pun intended.....

Jojo, you also know I low self esteem. Sian...

Not so sure, just not looking for someone who isn't discreet. Look at all that crap I pulled with Mr G. Actually I made up my mind to just go ahead and respond, but having found out several people have gotten the boot since last week, some by him, I'm thinking twice about rubbing the wrong way (pun intended) at work. Mr G himself has forewarned me about crapping around and watching my own back.

Off to work. Just another dog day.