http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 en-US 60 <p>Easy - try what my friend did - sudden he just stand up in the middle and shout.<br /> <br /> "Please can we have no more shouting at each other, it it causing me stress ... I am human - need some care and love, please kindly do not stress me !!!"</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 16:22:07 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7083644 storywolf http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>Dear JD,<br /> <br /> I can almost understand ur situation. I too, had similiar incident a yr and a half ago. Similarity, he is oso a senior who happened to b a mgr to where i work. We happen to hold the same position, but as i was new to the area, i remain humble.<br /> <br /> I did not know when, where or how did i get on his nerve..everything i do, he snapped at me, even to the extend of in front of my staff. I took in all in with stride...not wantin to create any scene nor makin him looked ugly. Until one fine morning, he failed or I shld say, missed, doin his job properly..As a proper procedure, I hav to write in our communication book &amp; i swear, i did not make it sound like it was HIS fault, in fact, i din even bother to know who was the mgr-in-charge the previous nite. In my opinion, if work is not properly done, i wll go to the supervisor, who will in turn, make sure the staff will not b makin the same mistake again.<br /> <br /> The mgr, read the coms book &amp; called upon me to have a seat..There, he ranted on &amp; on &amp; his voice was gettin louder..Again, i sat there, respectfully listened to him, but was gettin intolerable..I held onto my tears. I hav staff around, it was not right to cry..Then he got personal. I cldnt take it any more, so i asked him if he was done, i din even bother to wait for his ans, i walked off.<br /> <br /> I hide inside the toilet &amp; released all. It was after some time tat he peak into the toilet (common),saw me crying, showed little signs of uneasiness. But he still ranted on (WTF!? I juz needed b left alone!)..in the ranting, i got the msg tat he din want this matter to blown up, juz to settle among us. (note: he din want our head mgr to know abt tis). &amp; I din. From then onwards, he was kinder towards me..<br /> <br /> I know urs might b slightly serious case than mine..but in my opinion, even if the other party is takin it personal, we shld try not to let tat gets into us. Instead, let's try to understand their situation..We are so much younger &amp; energetic + opportunities in advancement is definately greater than the seniors/elders collegues in our area..It's onli natural tat thy feel threatened, &amp; thus we get their harsh treatments..It's their way of hiding their insecurities..<br /> <br /> JD, tilt ur head to one side &amp; look at the senerios again..u might discover new things. All the best! ^^v</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:48:54 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7083538 RedizAlertz http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by jojobeach:</div> <div class="quote_body">JD,<br /> <br /> Be careful where you grow those testicles.<br /> Don't want to look too obscene, ya ?<br /> <br /> Perhaps at the top left and right of your head might be cute.<br /> You know, the Mickey Mousey look ? <img title="Laughing" src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_lol.gif" alt="Laughing" /><br /> <br /></div> </blockquote> <p>Frankly, I don't really care even if you ingest me with hypothermia now.<br /> <br /> I already look obscene when I work as well.<br /> <br /> I can go on and on but will let it ride because I don't deal with estrogen very well.<br /> <br /> Turkey after this. At least it's something to smile about.<br /> <br /> Close the thread please thanks.</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 13:05:04 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7083012 jackdaniels http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>JD,<br /> <br /> Be careful where you grow those testicles.<br /> Don't want to look too obscene, ya ?<br /> <br /> Perhaps at the top left and right of your head might be cute.<br /> You know, the Mickey Mousey look ? <img title="Laughing" src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_lol.gif" alt="Laughing" /><br /> <br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:57:37 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082988 jojobeach http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>Dear jojo and ordinary,<br /> <br /> Everything human is pathetic - Mark Twain<br /> <br /> Thanks for the advice given. I should be growing some testicles since I've decided to major in a field filled with these people. I've met nasty male colleagues before, but their nastiness was always justified (one way or the other). I cannot figure out the root of my conflict with Mr N, hence my frustration. My frustration stems from having reviewed my work and realizing I did not have a good shot to show for. It is not entirely his bad attitude. It is his bad attitude and him getting in the way of my work.<br /> <br /> My point being, it is an important project. I showed up for work. I realized I hadn't captured what I desired. I asked Mr N for a possibilities of a set up. He promised me one. He didn't deliver. He dismissed the entire set up. By end of the work day, he had the nerve to congratulate me for having accomplished my "winning shot." You get his double entendre. He knew I had nothing to show for. Somebody stuffed a smelly sock and I had to swallow. You get the drift. He is not some stupid old fool who gets a kick out of screaming at women. He is mental. And has since devised an effective method to get at me. I don't know what kick he gets out of this. I just want to do my work and get out of this. I just want to wiggle my way out of this without any drama.<br /> <br /> I have no time to devise new methods against him neither do I care whether he is doing a good job or not. It is none of my business and I'm not pounding the war drum. Leave the gun in the drawer because there is no pot to be found.<br /> <br /> Alright thanks guys for the advice. I think jojo is right about me having to stand up for myself though. Not trying excessively hard to come across as a nice person, but I've gotten into a lot of needless trouble before. Am much more wary about being forthright these days because I have a job I feel fulfilled in. It's not any other crap job like it was before. Things have changed.</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:42:22 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082952 jackdaniels http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>Don't let him step over your head. Sometimes, u need to cross the protocol to get your point clear. Take notes of physical contact (any kind) with him. Furnish it clearly with dates and location. If he pepper you with abuse, take note of it also. Any time u step on his tail, apologise to him and if he pursues that matter, you go girl..HHNFLAWS <img title="Laughing" src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_lol.gif" alt="Laughing" /> <img title="Laughing" src="/images/emoticons/classic/icon_lol.gif" alt="Laughing" /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:18:42 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082872 Master -_- http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by jojobeach:</div> <div class="quote_body">No harm disagreeing.<br /> <br /> However, it is best use in JD's context.<br /> She ain't no criminal, and definitely no terrorist.<br /> <br /> True, that so many has done so in moments of weakness. And so has many to achieve greatness.<br /> <br /> It is common to hear what one must not do unto others.<br /> And what about, when others do unto you what you will not do unto others ?<br /> <br /></div> </blockquote> <p>Thank you.<br /> <br /> In JD's context, I wouldn't recommend her treading on Mr N's toes deliberately, like the latter did to her.<br /> <br /> But I agree that self defence is important, and that the line between a defensive measure and an offensive measure is very thin.<br /> <br /> Like you say, JD needs to stand up to Mr. N's nonsense, as much as she possibly could, to win in her own right. And she has every right to celebrate his hopefully eventual demise.<br /> <br /> It takes someone of the make of Jesus Christ to forgive those who nailed him on the cross. But such people are very rare. I am not one of them, and it would be unreasonable of me to expect that of people around me.<br /> <br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:09:38 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082838 ordinaryguy32 http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:</div> <div class="quote_body">I don't agree on that. Because of that kind of thinking, the human civilization has had countless, justifiable in the eyes of the perpetuators, wars on the surface of the Earth.<br /> <br /> But then, lots of people have done so in moments of weaknesses.<br /> <br /> In the book Emotional Intelligence, it was mentioned that 90% of criminals, murderers and others, thought that they did the "right thing".<br /> <br /> The upside is that most eastern and western philosophies and religions basically say the same thing regarding this:<br /> <br /> Do to others what you want others to do unto you.<br /> Don't do to others what you wish not others to do to you.<br /></div> </blockquote> <p>No harm disagreeing.<br /> <br /> JD ain't no criminal, and definitely no terrorist.<br /> <br /> True, that so many has done so in moments of weakness. And so has many to achieve greatness.<br /> <br /> It is common to hear what one must not do unto others.<br /> And what about, when others do unto you what you will not do unto others ?<br /> <br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:53:15 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082840 jojobeach http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <p>Originally posted by jojobeach:<br /> JD,<br /> <br /> Don't let age, color and gender intimidate you.<br /> <br /> No doubt, you have to respect his experience in his field of work.<br /> But remember, he is merely human.<br /> He eats, poops, sleep, farts , snort like you and I do.<br /> <br /> You have a self imposed barrier that must be overcome before you can step out with confidence and be at ease with yourself.<br /> <br /> Don't hold your breath for him to fulfill his promises.<br /> In a man's world, promises are made to be broken.<br /> Promises are merely a matter of convenience.<br /> <br /> <strong><br /> Sometimes, in the real world, the ends justifies the means.<br /></strong><br /> <br /> He's friendly with you now, because he needs to. Not that he really wants to anyway.<br /> <br /> Get your way, YOUR way. Never rely on others to get what you need.</p> </blockquote> <p>I don't agree on that. Because of that kind of thinking, the human civilization has had countless, justifiable in the eyes of the perpetuators, wars on the surface of the Earth.<br /> <br /> But then, lots of people have done so in moments of weaknesses.<br /> <br /> In the book Emotional Intelligence, it was mentioned that 90% of criminals, murderers and others, thought that they did the "right thing".<br /> <br /> The upside is that most eastern and western philosophies and religions basically say the same thing regarding this:<br /> <br /> Do to others what you want others to do unto you.<br /> Don't do to others what you wish not others to do to you.<br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:42:58 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082712 ordinaryguy32 http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by jackdaniels:</div> <div class="quote_body">I can ignore his ranting and ravings. He no longer rants and raves at me, only at others. At this point, he resorts to being friendly with me in front of people, at the same time, he promises me a shot, and it conveniently "slips his mind." My work isn't done. He isn't being co operative. That is what bothers me. It isn't the raving lunatic that bothers me. It's knowing he stood in the way of my ability to do a proper job that is upsetting.</div> </blockquote> <p>I see.<br /> In this case, just keep doing what you have been doing well.<br /> <br /> I have been in your situation before.<br /> <br /> Just dribble around him even if it takes longer. Keep your eyes on the goal, and he would be just another obstacle, human or otherwise, in your quest for tangible results.<br /> <br /> Get the support and understanding of your immediate superior on the situation, in an objective manner.<br /> <br /> Unless the superior has his hands tied, he will gradually realize what is the greatest liability in the situation, and will do what is unpopular but perhaps necessary, that is to do some substitutions.<br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:27:14 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082670 ordinaryguy32 http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>JD,<br /> <br /> Don't let age, color and gender intimidate you.<br /> <br /> No doubt, you have to respect his experience in his field of work.<br /> But remember, he is merely human.<br /> He eats, poops, sleep, farts , snort like you and I do.<br /> <br /> You have a self imposed barrier that must be overcome before you can step out with confidence and be at ease with yourself.<br /> <br /> Don't hold your breath for him to fulfill his promises.<br /> In a man's world, promises are made to be broken.<br /> Promises are merely a matter of convenience.<br /> <br /> Sometimes, in the real world, the ends justifies the means.<br /> <br /> He's friendly with you now, because he needs to. Not that he really wants to anyway.<br /> <br /> Get your way, YOUR way. Never rely on others to get what you need.</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 10:31:29 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082488 jojobeach http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>I do not noe wat is yr occupation or yr job scope... So, I cannot comment on who is right or wrong...<br /> But however, I can tell u tat these is working life... There are times where we really do not noe wat yr seniors or yr boss are thinking... Sometimes, they treat u very nice till u feel "huh???" Sometimes, they freak u out till u are at the verge of crying... But seriously, it takes time to understand what those people are thinking... if u r inexperience, 3 weeks is definitely not enough to understand what these people r thinking...<br /> <br /> After, u have understand, u will noe what things will trigger him or wat things wont trigger him... and just avoid those things... It should not be a problem unless, u r one who wants the environment to suit u rather than want yrself to suit the environment...<br /> <br /> I m a guy... If I m in yr position except tat I m male, I will observe wat habits he has... If I have the chance, I will just jio him for a drink or guy's outing... Settle difference man to man lor...<br /> For gal, I dont noe lah...<br /> <br /> And yr post is really very very long...<br /> <br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 10:28:29 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082487 ispyyy http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:</div> <div class="quote_body">JD,<br /> <br /> Mr N sounds like he's in a position of power to act like a sergeant major, and then get away with it.<br /> <br /> He really has some self-esteem issues, the way I like to see it.<br /> <br /> It's difficult to be confrontational, if you are meek by nature.<br /> <br /> But can you perhaps just ignore all his rantings and ramblings, and look at him like he's a overage spoilt toddler?<br /> <br /> You know that his words, though hurting, are crap anyway.<br /> <br /> So the next time he rants at you in front of everyone again, just roll your eyes and shake your head, like you would do to a screaming toddler.<br /> <br /></div> </blockquote> <p>I can ignore his ranting and ravings. He no longer rants and raves at me, only at others. At this point, he resorts to being friendly with me in front of people, at the same time, he promises me a shot, and it conveniently "slips his mind." My work isn't done. He isn't being co operative. That is what bothers me. It isn't the raving lunatic that bothers me. It's knowing he stood in the way of my ability to do a proper job that is upsetting.</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 09:58:40 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082361 jackdaniels http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>as s holes are everywhere. its not just because of his age.<br /> <br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 09:19:27 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082284 dragg http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>JD,<br /> <br /> Mr N sounds like he's in a position of power to act like a sergeant major, and then get away with it.<br /> <br /> He really has some self-esteem issues, the way I like to see it.<br /> <br /> It's difficult to be confrontational, if you are meek by nature.<br /> <br /> But can you perhaps just ignore all his rantings and ramblings, and look at him like he's a overage spoilt toddler?<br /> <br /> You know that his words, though hurting, are crap anyway.<br /> <br /> So the next time he rants at you in front of everyone again, just roll your eyes and shake your head, like you would do to a screaming toddler.<br /> <br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 09:15:40 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082279 ordinaryguy32 http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>hi jojo,<br /> <br /> funny enough, i was so in need of validation for the right move i actually sat through the devil wears prada after seeing your message (jd in dire need of an inkling here). double confirmed it with some close friends, i am a pushover. at times i feel it's asking a lot from me, standing up to a redneck twice my age in an environment predominantly controlled by males. it is very intimidating. maybe it's just me. i'm scared. but i'm not a kid anymore. can't possibly cross my fingers and cower in a corner waiting to be rescued. it's my job yep, it's time to grow some balls and see what happens.<br /> <br /> i really appreciate the telling off.<br /> <br /> ***<br /> <br /> hi dailyfreegames,<br /> <br /> i work for myself and value my relationship with this particular company. it's only a matter of time before i come out on my own and call my shots. but for now, the occasional humble pie is necessary. me thinks i'm still young. ok maybe 24 is ancient. call me traditional but i value the relationship. if i walk out on the job because of this conflict, i'm probably not seeing the bigger picture. i've quit on jobs i never gave a damn for. and quitting no longer solves problems at this age. i'll walk when i can afford to. this project will be over in 2 or 3 weeks' time. i'll turn my clients down when i want to in the future.<br /> <br /> maybe this is a weakness in my personality i have to confront. like myself, Mr N has been engaged for his services. i have a lot of strong emotions towards Mr N now and it's beginning to grow. though something tells me it isn't right to let it show no matter what happens. i'm trying to weave my way through this without seeming too affected. i do not want to be the girl who ran away crying because she couldn't handle another bad ass.<br /> <br /> in terms of hierarchy i am not under his direct orders. i execute independently and my work is reviewed by whoever hired me. so far the feedback is encouraging and that cheers me. i just require colleagues like Mr N to co operate. Mr N comes into play because he is a manager who moves and shakes people. He works with his mouth and head you see and is probably superior if you factor in age, color and height. that's about it. people of a lower level are usually polite. they do not stir trouble and i minimize contact. even then i notice opportunists among that pool, trying to take over my job from time to time. i had some trouble keeping them at bay or trying to keep them in their place. but for now i'll leave that alone because they tire me too. it's a whole other set of issue. and if they will take my job they will take my job. if they can't, they can't.<br /> <br /> it's like running with a pack of wolves, trying to keep alive with some higher being shooting fire darts at my buttocks, all the while having the right eye on the real prize.<br /></p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 08:06:18 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082173 jackdaniels http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>Many things are all in the mind. I usually use their weaknesses against them or simply ignore such people. They are pitiful small people, why would you waste you precious thoughts thinking about them?</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 07:53:20 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7082135 AndrewPKYap http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>In all honesty, I don’t know why you’re still with this company. I may not understand something but I seriously would quit. You see, we have choices, if you believe in yourself, if you want to do something, you’ll find a way. However, if you do not want to do something, you’ll find an excuse. For me, there is no excuse working with such a guy, especially if he is of a higher rank than me, if lower ranking than I may still tolerate because as a superior means I have to be more matured and wiser, but if the guy is higher ranked than me, it’s very hard to deal with such people. If your skill set is marketable, you can try change job or start out on your own, that way you choose your customers.</p> Tue, 04 Sep 2007 02:50:20 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7081894 DailyFreeGames.com http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>JD,<br /> <br /> Being calm does not mean you have to be meek.<br /> Being calm means keeping your composure.<br /> Being calm means you don't fly off your handle and start a cat fight with Mr N.<br /> Being calm means you can kindly reject Mr N's demand with confidence.<br /> <br /> Like saying " No thank you, I'm perfectly comfy where I am."<br /> or saying " I'll have to ignore that request, you're not trying to bully me are you?"<br /> <br /> Or ignoring Mr N when he shouts your name.<br /> and telling him later when he comes across the room to talk to you<br /> " Sir, please don't shout across the room, it's embarrassing."<br /> <br /> Is he so powerful that you actually allow him to stand in the way of getting your desired shot ?<br /> <br /> I mean, seriously girl, if you value your work so much.<br /> You could have told him to get out of your way.<br /> <br /> Have you watched the movie " The devil wears prada" ?<br /> If you haven't, go rent it.<br /> <br /> Yes, it seems you are quite a pushover, it ain't easy to be otherwise.<br /> Especially when you have low self confidence/esteem.<br /> And extremely so, when you are the one who's afraid of losing your job.<br /> <br /> Try to be firm.<br /> You ARE a professional , right ?<br /> Now stop behaving like a rookie, people will stop treating you like one.<br /> <br /></p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 23:31:22 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7081571 jojobeach http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>say that Mr N molestered you. LOL. <img title="Very Happy" src= "/images/emoticons/classic/icon_biggrin.gif" alt= "Very Happy" /></p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 21:29:43 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7080019 r0mE_27 http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>Hi jojo,<br /> <br /> I've been calm and focused. Others were probably surprised I did not stand up for myself when I was told to get out the second time round. All I did was, yeah, apologise for it and go away like a fool. Didn't think there was a need to pick a fight or yell at him just to prove any point. Afterwards when I think about it, I feel like a pushover. Why I didn't tell Mr N to go screw himself I have no idea. Am I being a sad pushover?<br /> <br /> Whether colleagues are judging Mr N or myself doesn't matter. What mattered was, I missed my shot. At the back of my mind I know it means nothing even if my boss sympathises with me, it means nothing even if it's painfully obvious Mr N is being difficult. What matters is, I missed my shot. I have no winning work to show. I'm in no position to say, "That's Mr N's fault. He stood in the way of my angle. Whatever it is, this reflects on my overall ability.<br /> <br /> My boss has commented I seem afraid Mr N would show up from a secret corner and start screaming at me. Then he laughs at me. I told him I probably developed a phobia and still he laughs. Is he mocking at me or does he see a lot of cuteness and humour in my situation, I no longer give a damn. He is right. I am trying so damn hard not to get in anybody's way it's fast becoming pathetic.<br /> <br /> ordinary,<br /> <br /> I'd think being the only female within our immediate working environment makes me the least possible target. With everybody else watching out for me and being helpful, it reflects very badly on Mr N whenever he picks on me. He's performed that outrageous tactic instead. In return I'm just polite. If I'm just polite, no one can fault me for being the sh*t stirrer. When he cannot be bothered to acknowledge me, I take it he's invisible too. When his counterparts strike a conversation with me or start offering me advice and tips in between work, he'll ask them whether they're still part of this production. Mr N makes snide remarks.<br /> <br /> When another local colleague helped me out last week at work, for a few hours, he became Mr N's primary target. Mr N was constantly putting his ass on the line. It felt a little like being in boiler room. Not only do I have to rely on goodwill from others, I'm getting others into trouble as well. I don't want to be the person they are watching out for just because I am a troublesome female. I don't want special treatment. This shouldn't have to be the way.<br /> <br /> walesa,<br /> <br /> Thanks for your advice, when I return to work in a few day's time, I'll reinforce that and be very cool and clear in the head. Though I very much doubt by keeping calm will mean he's going to leave me alone. If he isn't leaving me alone when the top dogs are watching my ass, he will never leave me alone.<br /> <br /> When I ignore his presence and not make any eye contact, he yells my name from across the room just to wish me a good morning. He has resorted to getting at me on the sly since he cannot get at me in the open. He promises me a shot in a face to face discussion then he never delivers when the time arrives. I'm tempted to be sarcastic now. I'm even tempted to hire hit man.<br /> <br /> Would like to avoid an argument at all costs because if it comes to a point when they have to choose between Mr N and myself, I'm the one who is getting the boot. The replaceable one. Numerous people have gotten fired for unknown reasons already. I believe there is a reason why despite his mental problems, Mr N is still walking the streets scot free.<br /> <br /> The best surprise I can receive when I show up for work the next day, is to find out Mr N has gotten fired. That would be stellar. That would remain in the far fetched corner of my dreams.<br /></p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 21:27:02 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7080037 jackdaniels http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>Actually, what you mentioned is particularly prevalent in Asia - it's just one of those things where people, regardless of their inability, are accorded respect on the basis of seniority.<br /> <br /> That said, it also goes without saying the sod you've painted is a deeply insecure chap who resorts to those antics to obtain validation for his self-worth. Ultimately, playing on their insecurity is the best thing you could do.<br /> <br /> For such folks, the best thing you could often do against them is to stand up to them and let them know you're in charge of your affairs - by that, I do not mean seeking an affront or a confrontation. However, the need for you to stand up for yourself and send out a clear signal that you aren't one to be messed about (well, if you're at fault, then obviously it's a different matter) is pressing even if it's just to let him know he isn't going to get his way. After all, when he eventually realises that, he will pretty much leave you alone - the worst thing you could do is dance to his tune and give in to his unreasonable demands...</p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 16:00:49 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7078610 walesa http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:</div> <div class="quote_body">One outrageous tactic you can try though is this : one fine morning, praise him in front of everyone "you look great today" as sincerely as possible. If he is thrown into bewilderment, then it's really a mid-life crisis.<br /> <br /></div> </blockquote> <p>I wouldn't recommend this.<br /> <br /> Good chance it will backfire, and make JD look like a suck up fool.<br /> <br /> My take would be, to just ignore him until he goes back to where he belongs.<br /> <br /> If JD is really good in her work. People will respect her for it.<br /> <br /> Respect cannot be earned by trying to be witty.<br /> <br /></p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 15:36:54 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7078478 jojobeach http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <blockquote> <div class="quote_from">Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:</div> <div class="quote_body">jackdaniels,<br /> <br /> One possibility is that Mr N is undergoing through a midlife crisis (as all men do, at certain points in their life). There could be 101 reasons why. Maybe he's physically not up to it anymore, maybe he has had a screwed-up relationship with his teenage son, maybe women no longer find him attractive, maybe the culture shock is getting to him...<br /> <br /> As a woman among loads of men, you are the easiest target.<br /> <br /> Nobody stood up for you, because they have not the guts. But rest assured, nobody can be on his side either.<br /> <br /> He has looked stupider by the day, everytime he stood beside you. Hence it has become personal.<br /> <br /> Don't be confrontational with him, if you can help it. He's spoiling for a fight, and losing his dignity all over again. There's no need to be like him.<br /> <br /> jojo's advice is what I would give you too...<br /> Stay calm and focus on your work...<br /> <br /> One outrageous tactic you can try though is this : one fine morning, praise him in front of everyone "you look great today" as sincerely as possible. If he is thrown into bewilderment, then it's really a mid-life crisis.<br /> <br /></div> </blockquote> <p>yeps i fully agree</p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 15:31:43 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7078445 oOprinceOo http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534 <p>jackdaniels,<br /> <br /> One possibility is that Mr N is undergoing through a midlife crisis (as all men do, at certain points in their life). There could be 101 reasons why. Maybe he's physically not up to it anymore, maybe he has had a screwed-up relationship with his teenage son, maybe women no longer find him attractive, maybe the culture shock is getting to him...<br /> <br /> As a woman among loads of men, you are the easiest target.<br /> <br /> Nobody stood up for you, because they have not the guts. But rest assured, nobody can be on his side either.<br /> <br /> He has looked stupider by the day, everytime he stood beside you. Hence it has become personal.<br /> <br /> Don't be confrontational with him, if you can help it. He's spoiling for a fight, and losing his dignity all over again. There's no need to be like him.<br /> <br /> jojo's advice is what I would give you too...<br /> Stay calm and focus on your work...<br /> <br /> One outrageous tactic you can try though is this : one fine morning, praise him in front of everyone "you look great today" as sincerely as possible. If he is thrown into bewilderment, then it's really a mid-life crisis.<br /> <br /></p> Mon, 03 Sep 2007 15:10:48 +0800 sgforums.com:12:277534:7078329 ordinaryguy32 http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/277534