harsh reality
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there's a girl i am fond of at work, we're both 18. she's very close with her guy friend who i'm just hi-bye friends with. they're from the same sec school and now same poly. both stay same place also. the dude always goes out with her, i go out to lunch with her less than once a week. i feel extremely jealous and heart broken at the same time as she obviously treats him much better than even though i always wake up early to get her fav coffee from a place i don't want to disclose, every morning, period. i always give reasons like i accidently bought 2 cups or i was near the shop. sometimes i leave a cake and coffee on her table and the guy will claim to buy it. the guy obviously treats her like normal normal and even ask her to carry his bag sometimes. yes, i am not as good looking as him, he is average looking while i'm below average. i make it a point to make sure her desk is free from papers and stuffs when she comes to work, and always try to put a small teddy bear or rose on her table and act like coming in late so she won't suspect it's me. this goes on and on for the whole hols, and hols is ending soon. i fear we might not cross paths again, it'll be too much for me to take. every other day, i'd wear a jacket and follow them as they always leave work together. they always go down to vivo or cine, it makes me feel extremely insecure. i can safely presume they're not together yet but i don't know how long. i've camped under her block for days to see who she goes back with and the guy sends her back once in awhile. sleepless nights over my insecurities, i'm turning nuts. sometimes i think im crazy, am i just wasting my time? is there anyway out? i fear if i confess, being rejected is something i don't think i can handle.
please help me out, fellow brothers and sisters.
i try to fool myself thinking that i'm happy and she will not be with him, but to avail.
it feels like a laundry room. -
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should i quit my job and sleep through out my hols? i find it very very hard not to think of her and him.
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If I make you feel second best, girl, I'm sorry I was blind.
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tell
him/her
wad u did? or
if u really like/love her
wish the best for her
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your this act is call pervert/stalker already. she's not yr gf aniway.
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give up...on her..unless she suddenly turns to u LOLX.........nt kidding...
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Yr first hurdle is yr low self esteem.Originally posted by fatone:there's a girl i am fond of at work, we're both 18. she's very close with her guy friend who i'm just hi-bye friends with. they're from the same sec school and now same poly. both stay same place also. the dude always goes out with her, i go out to lunch with her less than once a week. i feel extremely jealous and heart broken at the same time as she obviously treats him much better than even though i always wake up early to get her fav coffee from a place i don't want to disclose, every morning, period. i always give reasons like i accidently bought 2 cups or i was near the shop. sometimes i leave a cake and coffee on her table and the guy will claim to buy it. the guy obviously treats her like normal normal and even ask her to carry his bag sometimes. yes, i am not as good looking as him, he is average looking while i'm below average. i make it a point to make sure her desk is free from papers and stuffs when she comes to work, and always try to put a small teddy bear or rose on her table and act like coming in late so she won't suspect it's me. this goes on and on for the whole hols, and hols is ending soon. i fear we might not cross paths again, it'll be too much for me to take. every other day, i'd wear a jacket and follow them as they always leave work together. they always go down to vivo or cine, it makes me feel extremely insecure. i can safely presume they're not together yet but i don't know how long. i've camped under her block for days to see who she goes back with and the guy sends her back once in awhile. sleepless nights over my insecurities, i'm turning nuts. sometimes i think im crazy, am i just wasting my time? is there anyway out? i fear if i confess, being rejected is something i don't think i can handle.
please help me out, fellow brothers and sisters.
i try to fool myself thinking that i'm happy and she will not be with him, but to avail.
it feels like a laundry room.
Second is the respect for yrself and the gal. -
it's really a turn off to see one whole chunk of text.
we know u are in agony, but pls dun agonise us by reading ur long wordy post. at least do some paragraphing lah. -
how will she react if she knows u been stalking her?
i wonder.. -
You can quit your fantasies , and stop listening to Elvis Presley's ?Originally posted by fatone:If I make you feel second best, girl, I'm sorry I was blind.
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try express ur love!!!
then see what is the girl's reaction...
if have rejection, accept it and move on... -
This is amazing huh, so crazy in love... best of luck to you, but dun be too obsessive over this girl, it might be unhealthy to you.
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Dear Fatone,
What you are doing to this girl , is STALKING.
Please refrain from this any further.
Doing nice things for her and pretend you didn't do it.
Its like , blinking your eyes in the dark.
ONLY YOU know you what you are doing.
That is , dear sir. Very ineffective.
When you do nice things , you want her to know it is you.
You hope she will appreciate what you have done for her.
Being secretive admirer is NOT romantic . IT IS SPOOKY.
I get this kind of stuff before, anonymous flowers, gifts, notes.
YES it was nice at first.. little surprises.
After a while, I get frustrated with the guessing game.
I start to get suspicious with every guy in the office.
COULD HE BE THE ONE ? IS THIS A PRANK ?
Then I get angry.
I feel that if this guy is such a wuss , don't even dare let me know who the hell he is.
He is not worth my attention, because he is a coward.
So, Fatone, don't become a victim of your own doings.
In the search to find the girl , you will be rejected several times.
Imagine you are a $3000 vacuum cleaner sales guy.
You go door to door, knocking on the doors of your potential buyer.
Out of 10 doors, you get rejected 9 times.. until you found the one buyer who so happen to have the need, and money to buy your product.
Along the way, you will meet competitors who may or may not have more superior product than you.
It is up to you, to sell the product and win over the buyer.
Let her know you are the nice guy.
Send her a message " I hope you've been enjoying the morning coffee break as much as I do. Have a great week. (insert YOUR name)" -
Originally posted by fatone:there's a girl i am fond of at work, we're both 18. she's very close with her guy friend who i'm just hi-bye friends with. they're from the same sec school and now same poly. both stay same place also. the dude always goes out with her, i go out to lunch with her less than once a week. i feel extremely jealous and heart broken at the same time as she obviously treats him much better than even though i always wake up early to get her fav coffee from a place i don't want to disclose, every morning, period. i always give reasons like i accidently bought 2 cups or i was near the shop. sometimes i leave a cake and coffee on her table and the guy will claim to buy it. the guy obviously treats her like normal normal and even ask her to carry his bag sometimes. yes, i am not as good looking as him, he is average looking while i'm below average. i make it a point to make sure her desk is free from papers and stuffs when she comes to work, and always try to put a small teddy bear or rose on her table and act like coming in late so she won't suspect it's me. this goes on and on for the whole hols, and hols is ending soon. i fear we might not cross paths again, it'll be too much for me to take. every other day, i'd wear a jacket and follow them as they always leave work together. they always go down to vivo or cine, it makes me feel extremely insecure. i can safely presume they're not together yet but i don't know how long. i've camped under her block for days to see who she goes back with and the guy sends her back once in awhile. sleepless nights over my insecurities, i'm turning nuts. sometimes i think im crazy, am i just wasting my time? is there anyway out? i fear if i confess, being rejected is something i don't think i can handle.
please help me out, fellow brothers and sisters.
i try to fool myself thinking that i'm happy and she will not be with him, but to avail.
it feels like a laundry room.
If you want to act like a secret admirer, then you will live the fate of a secret admirer. It is like a typical soap opera with you being the supporting actor; always supporting, never the lead.
You do have initiatives in demonstrating your affection, but I don't understand why is there a need to saunter such huge circles, just to avoid being 'seen'. You don't even have that mote of courage to work/improve your friendship with her beyond just plain causal, preferring to assimilate yourself in the dark, catching glimpse of her from afar and praying for miracles to manifest towards your advantage?
You think with the powers of prayers your competitor will just vanished into thin air and never to be seen again? In that case, all corporations in the world will be incredibly pious.
They are close to each other for a reason.
But what are you to her?
What have you done?
Because in my humble opinion, you did almost next to nothing.
Talk. Have you talk to her? Hold proper conversation? You know, those that makes her feel so comfortable with, added with tint of humour?
Has that happened?
Or you are wishing that it will happen?
A good conversation owns all of your collective gestures you attempted surreptitiously to evince your affection. You spend all your time worrying about your competitor and that you didn't even bother trying to a work out a viable strategy to market your own presence. It is like you counting your neighbour's wealth, wasting all the time in the world and realized that eventually, the money still doesn't belong to you.
And to add onto the flabbergasted list - you stalked her (Personally, I have my top three disgusted list of aberrant behaviour resulted from catalysis of love: (i) Threaten with harm, (ii) stalker, (iii) emotional blackmail).
Harsh reality?
I say it's time to wake up from your illusion.
In reality you are only in love with love. All those overwhelming feelings in which you have lionized its impact is nothing but some dramatic self perception of fantasy, in which you have shaped the plots into some sort of pseudo-reality pretty much surreal by nature. Your heart probably felt so much feelings being invested, yet it amounts to nothing - of course. How can you even have any result, in which nothing concrete has been done, to justify a positive conclusion?
It's like staring into darkness, thinking that you are looking at the mirror. Then its ghastly silence reflects none of your desire. But when you close your eyes and shape a thought in your mind eye, the image you see is basically self conjured - it's not even a reflection you originally wished to see yourself in, unlike looking directly into a mirror.
Why stare into darkness when all you need is to look at the mirror?
Why live in delusion when all you need is to find your way into reality?
If you can't even be a good friend to the woman you love - don't even dream about having her as your girlfriend.
Cheers -
eh dude as a girl if i know that a guy did that for such a long period of time, whether i like him or not, i will definitely be touched. girls are soft hearted. and i can bet you anything that girl also wonder who is the one who keep giving her sweet stuff like chocolates or bears. she will probably be sensitive enough to wanna know who did all those. be a man. just tell her. you might never get another chance to. good luck buddy. i admire your efforts for this girl
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TS, these 2 lines are indeed the essence that you should consider reviewingOriginally posted by CannyOng:Yr first hurdle is yr low self esteem.
Second is the respect for yrself and the gal. -
Tian ya he chu wu fang cao......?
If you haven't the guts to ask her for her number, then move on lah.......
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You are behaving like what all cowarice did... in fact, its more to stalking.. doing things behind her wont help u la, bro,, instead think of something to talk bout with her.. and the coffee or anything..
I just dun understand.. just hang out with her one day or sms or call her.. why are you being a wussy...
You know what? Before you wan to tell her that you like her.. you already defeated la.. Why ? Bcuz you're a WUSSY.. so low is the self-esteem, so low the motivation and so low your courage...
If your in the battle of a war.. you are already dead..
Let me teach you something, little bro,,
What is life to you? Life is actually a battle and there is no way to get out of it.. The only way is to get out is DEATH
So, the only way is that to WIN or LOSE... depends on you man... but to all great man, Their only aim is to win this battle....
What is success to you? Success is not bout chasing your dream,, Its about understanding and pursueing your very own path... This also means success is a CHANGE and courage to take the RISK OF FAILURE.
IF you still dont understand, Try this.. Google: David DeAngelo and i suggest you to buy a book titled "Thick Face, Black Heart"
I remind you again, little bro,
With your kind of attitude and thinking, you are already DEFEATED even before the war begins.. YOu dont even have the chance to begin the journey to the war but already defeated in your very own camp, even before you walk to the war path.. even before you can have your very 1st kill of your enemy.. You are already DEFEATED..
Gain some strength and the courage to fight.. Be fearless. Dont expect the outcome of a war bcuz whatever the outcome will be, will be..YOu just do what you have to do, fearless and courage to accept failures and that what makes u a MAN
Loser
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It's always nice to surprise a girl with a gift here and then. And do those little things that you did. Bound to touch the girl's heart in a way or two. But you've got some competition there. Time for you to gather your courage to drop heavier hints that it is you who has been doing those little things. Which guy likes to have someone else take their credit? Like what others have said, your insecurity and low self esteem is your major hurdle. But certainly the girl wouldn't like it at all if she finds you've been stalking her.
As the saying goes, 'no guts no glory' or 'weak heart never wins fair maiden's hand' and blah blah blah
... whatever it is, strike while the iron is hot. Or you'll regret it. -
dai bro girl only la. Relax la. Its just puppy love man. Wake up ! Quit your job? Yeah sure you only losing out man,this aint the movies where the girl would come after you and ask why you quit your job? You quit you lose cos you no money,simple.
"Bitches they come they go"- Eminem -
GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Your self-esteem is at an all time low, for fairly good reasons, but that doesn't mean you should give up hope that you have something good to offer the world. We all need to believe in fairy tales now and then.
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i've stopped the stalking since the weekend and thank you all for your advise. however, it's not as easy to do what you guys preach. i just can't find or courage to tell her my feelings. i love her, but i don't want to lose this moment where i can secretly love her. if things goes awry, it's downhill for me buddies. i never dreamed in a million years i would be in such a mother fucking situation yet it's the same show everyday. is there anyways of expressing my feelings in a way that i will not turned out in the face?
thanks people, for your time. -
dude grow some balls, rejection is nothing but experience~