help me win her back.
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been together for 4 years; the best times of our lives were had together. i never knew she was under so much stress .. each time we quarreled, i thought we made up, and that was it .. reflecting back, i should have been aware it was her giving in to me.
had our biggest fight just a couple days back but it was over the most silly of issues (really it's not worth mentioning) .. we've always been faithful to each other; no flaws - no money issues or distractions either .. but the problem came from my attitude and temper .. i now realise what a mcp i must have been, never knowing when to back down .. pride .. she says that's it, she snapped, and she doesn't want to continue anymore. she said it's a break up. and asked me not to contact her ever again ... just days before we were still so intimate, now when i touch her she goes berserk ... 360degrees change in character ... i've never seen such eyes
being a guy, and emotionally retarded, i hounded her for days, making her hate me more ... to her friends, i must be public enemy no. 1 because none of them are speaking to me either. and she says her friends supported her in her decision - but i spoke to her best friend (who i now realise may well be her former best friend ... now that's she got a whole bunch of new friends), and her sister - none of them were told anything
i don't want this to end. i want to win her back. how? i'm just worried, after these weeks, she's only going to be firmer in her decision. i just want her to see all the good times we had, so many ... that outweighed all the bad times ... the laughter that filled our house, before we slept, when we woke up next to each other, hugging each other and smiling to sleep, even when fighting over bed space. through our worse times, we were there holding each other, thinking about the kids we would have, the kind of life we'd like ...
... i just cannot focus ... not on work ... got into a car accident, minor ... panel damage ... gone back to smoking ...
how can i win her back? to just ask her for a chance, to let me change ... i tried explaining to her i really didn't know, because i really didn't - if i did, i would have changed becuase i cannot stand hurting her ... but she keeps saying that i should have realised earlier on but i'm a guy, the species famous for being insensitive and dense
if i really leave her alone for weeks ... will that only strengthen her resolve to go? -
It's time to let go...
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Mod: Irrelevant Post.
VII) No hijacking of thread.
Try not to hijack problem threads by posting another problem in someone else's problem thread. Hijack by crapping is not encouraged as well. -
Persistence will win the day.
Just keep on wooing her.
Do all the silly things you can think of.
Don't let up.
Camp at her place.
Send flowers.
Sing to her.
Chocolates, presents etc
Tell her you learnt your lesson.
Melt her heart.
Use her friends, relations etc
But exercise moderation, and not be a nuisance.
Just be persistent, thats all.
She'll come around. -
judging from ur post, i'm sad to tell u that it's over...over, no point going back. Let time heal that broken heart of yours & move on...learn from ur mistake & treasure ur next R/S
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Main Concern: Your so-called dignity
Solution: Prove to change
How? Prove , let her feel, not verbally
Communication: Call her once a while, keep in touch, no touching, no miss-ing, friendship concern. Dont be wussy kneeling to beg forgiveness
What she thinks of you? U act like gentleman, you move on with life, she feels your not irritating her, she accepts it slowly, she feels you changed a bit.. she respect you more and trust you cuz of wat u promise. Soon, she will accept u back.
BUT.. to change your habit after so many years sticked to it.. is really hard..
Let God decide on these ba..
Sad.. ppl alwasy too late to make things right... -
i apologise.Originally posted by Deportivo:Mod: Irrelevant Post.
VII) No hijacking of thread.
Try not to hijack problem threads by posting another problem in someone else's problem thread. Hijack by crapping is not encouraged as well. -
Thank you so much for such a constructive post ... I think the biggest mistake I made so far was in the communication dpt ... at first i was so lost, it was so sudden, so i cried, i begged ... u know ... like when someone close to you has passed on, you can't help but break down, shouting, begging that person to come back ...Originally posted by Zarks:Main Concern: Your so-called dignity
Solution: Prove to change
How? Prove , let her feel, not verbally
Communication: Call her once a while, keep in touch, no touching, no miss-ing, friendship concern. Dont be wussy kneeling to beg forgiveness
What she thinks of you? U act like gentleman, you move on with life, she feels your not irritating her, she accepts it slowly, she feels you changed a bit.. she respect you more and trust you cuz of wat u promise. Soon, she will accept u back.
BUT.. to change your habit after so many years sticked to it.. is really hard..
Let God decide on these ba..
Sad.. ppl alwasy too late to make things right...
But I will change, I will stop crying, stop begging. More importantly, stuff that pride down the drain ... ironically, it's my humility that has brought me that high in my career ... i dunno why i couldn't just be the same with her ... i will change.
How else should I win her back? -
Things that happened in the past is nothing more for us to learn something from it and move on.. and usually things from the past cannot be brought back to future cuz its the past..
GOd shows His own way to make us realise of what we done wrong.. depends whtether you realise it or dont..
Dun expect too much that she will come to you back.. instead, take this lesson to change a better you so you will be a better person in future and have a better love r/s
Without this experience, how do you know you will be able to take a step to change it? Try to think in positive way.. not only to win her back but to your very own future. -
u learn from ur mistakes.
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Indeed. I concur.Originally posted by stellazio:u learn from ur mistakes.
Chui Kong Lam Pah Song no use one. -
before you want to cry or beg for forgiveness, try to think how will she feel to you doin that way.. She will only pity you, nothing more.. and pity doesnt mean she want to go back to you..Originally posted by sgx088:Thank you so much for such a constructive post ... I think the biggest mistake I made so far was in the communication dpt ... at first i was so lost, it was so sudden, so i cried, i begged ... u know ... like when someone close to you has passed on, you can't help but break down, shouting, begging that person to come back ...
But I will change, I will stop crying, stop begging. More importantly, stuff that pride down the drain ... ironically, it's my humility that has brought me that high in my career ... i dunno why i couldn't just be the same with her ... i will change.
How else should I win her back?
instead of begging or crying, tell her that you know your mistake and gonna do something to change it.. you can still concern to her but not too much..
Good luck la
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Easier to just move on........
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try thisOriginally posted by sgx088:Thank you so much for such a constructive post ... I think the biggest mistake I made so far was in the communication dpt ... at first i was so lost, it was so sudden, so i cried, i begged ... u know ... like when someone close to you has passed on, you can't help but break down, shouting, begging that person to come back ...
But I will change, I will stop crying, stop begging. More importantly, stuff that pride down the drain ... ironically, it's my humility that has brought me that high in my career ... i dunno why i couldn't just be the same with her ... i will change.How else should I win her back?
write on on a piece of paper and let your subconscious tells you thru your writing.. find the BIG ROOT to all these.. u will shock at wat u never realise and also what you really done in the past few years back
just a simple 5-10mins exercise and usually worked very well to make you realise what you really ar.. and please be honest when you write down what is your prob or mayb hers..
NOrmally when u write down your problems.. u can feel like your hand is neglecting your mind to write it down cuz its like you dont wanna admit it.. -
not that easy to move on if u really love some1 deeply lor..Originally posted by :Easier to just move on........ -
I think it is the respect that you have on her that is lacking...
Anyway, my friend once said that when a girl wants to break away from bf, it can be very firm lor (in other viewpoint, it can be very heartless lor)
Well, unless, u can do something tat really melt her steel heart, I will suggest you leave her alone for the time being... Her heart may soften and probably easier to do yr attempt... -
omg. if only my boy was like you.
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leave her alone for a few weeks. and ask her for the last time. if shes still firm then i think its time for the fish to return back to the sea.
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You know your mistakes.
She already chose to let go- she has had enough.
Move on, and learn from your mistakes. -
Thanks for all the replies so far.
I just needed confirmation on what I needed to do to keep fighting, and I will.
Everybody please pray for me, and support me! -
Your problem seemed serious than mine. I gave my girlfriend a bouquet of white and red roses. And she is asking me out tmr. All the best and good luck.
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i know a good number of you ask me to give up, i won't deny that there is force in what you say but ...
have you ever been with someone, you know completes you in all respects?
have you ever been with someone, you want to be for the rest of your life? you know that's true because over the past 4 years, girls have come on to you and guys on to her but both parties unwavering? every night in their humble home ... not the flashiest, not the newest, not the cleanest home, they laugh togehter everyday, as they sleep, and as they wake ... fighting for bed space on the tiny double bed groaning about how the other is too warm, and crossing the line ...
have you been with someone long enough to go from talking about dreams, to seeing the gradual realisation of their life's plans ... to talk about having kids and then disturbing the other for wanting to have your kids ...
she completes me. and i don't know how to tell u how much it hurts inside knowing that i did not complete her - and it hurts so much more knowing that i can change, because i want to be that perfect guy for her but she refuses to give me a chance? i'm a guy .. i'm emotionally retarded .. if somebody doesn't shove it in my face, i don't pick up on relationship hints.
for 4 years, she has captivated me ... even when we're doing nothing, i just like being near her ... and i know she feels the same way ... we each complain about the other having different tv preferences but instead of going into another room, we just watch 2 tvs, together - nvm the noise the otehr makes
i used to care what people would think if they knew i loved her that much - i was so afraid she would view it as a sign of weakness if i let her know how sensitive i was inside .. but that's where all the problems came ... suffocating her ... but as i said, i want to change ... to be that 1 guy for her ... and i will.
i don't care if any of you say that i'm pathetic for a guy ... with this, i've gotten over all of it .. i love her, unconditionally.
i used to complain her driving was slow ... hated to sit in her car, and have her driving ... now i wish i was inside ... having her drive, on forever, at the slowest speed possible.
4 short years we've been together, but 4 years well spent beats 30 years in the crapper ... i know i can give her as much happiness as she gives me ... now i just want the chance to show her i can change, that iw ill change for her -
although u nva mentioned in ur post
i feel ,IMOthat the chances are already given, alot
juz that u nva treasure it
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Did you hit her ?
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when a girl is determined to leave, there's nothing u can stop her
bcos she must have thought over it again and again, and it takes a lot of courage to break with someone u love.
maybe u made her feel hopeless. i have no idea.
but i would suggest, for the time being, leave her alone.
If u two were meant to be, I believe u two will be together again.