Breakup
-
Broke up with my gf almost 3 weeks ago..
We had a wonderful time (almost 14 months) together. IÂ’m not those romantic type nor not good looking.. So I gave in everything she wanted to her.. what she wanted, I will get it for her, what she need to do, I will try to assist her or help help her to do it. We spent all our time together. I was in the final yr of my uni while she was in her second yr. I moved back to hall for the first sem to spend more time with her as she was just staying outside school while I stay near central area. Finally in my last sem, I got a single room, she moved in with me and it was almost the feeling of being husband and wife as we would do everything together as we are beside each other 24/7. We talked of getting engaged once she graduate and getting married once she completes her masters. She always said she was very sure that IÂ’m the one for her.
I graduated and went back to complete the last 3 months of my NS as I was a disruptee. She had a part time job but we will still meet everyday either to go out for dinner or shopping (she loves shopping and we would go out everyday last time).. Before ord, I got a job and everything seemed so right and wonderful.. Then suddenly one month ago, I was at her house on Sunday as usual to accompany her for dinner (she usually skips her meals if she doesnÂ’t have anyone to accompany her as both her parents are working and her sis is also lazy). She said that she donno the feeling of being single as she had been in quite a lot of r/s before and she was too young to commit (she have a lot of male frens ard her). I asked her if she was thinking of breaking up but she said she still wanna to be with me. She even left an alarm in my phone saying that she will love me forever and ever..
The next day, she started to tell me not to look for her after work (I used to go find her in school after work everyday), saying that she is busy with her school stuffs, it is very tiring for me and we can always meet up during the weekend.. I was reluctant as I was not really used not seeing her but tot it would be good as she can concentrate on her school work and I can concentrate on my new job too. But we would still talk on the phone as usual (we talk every night before we sleep), saying that we missed each other and lets go for a movie as we had only watched one movie together Icoz she only wanted to shop whenever we went out). I went to find the timings but in the end she complained that she had too much work and postponed the event. Asked her out for a quick dinner but she said sheÂ’s tired. Wanted to takeaway dinner to her house like what I would do during exams last time but she refused too. Then came Friday and I went back sch to find her as I bought something from candy empire for her. I didnÂ’t tell her that I was going to look for her but I asked her fren where they were.
When I appeared, she looked shocked and turned to her fren saying ‘F, why is he here? What happened to ******?’ I was quite shocked by her behavior and naturally I wasn’t happy. The dinner was also weird as she behaved strangely. She explained later that nite that she was afraid that ****** (a fren who her fren intro to her and they were quite closed to each other now as she hate to study alone and ****** will accompany her as he stays in hall) will not have any seats as we were taking her fren’s car out for dinner and there were quite a few of us. I tot its funny as we used to squeeze more ppl in the car before. Then I asked her about our plans to go out the next day but she said that she’s meeting her ex and she will be tired after that. I don’t wanna force her but was very upset actually as I was looking forward to Sat and partly of what happened in school. Sat passed and came Sunday, she called me at 4pm saying that I don’t need to buy her dinner, she can take care of herself.. so I went to take a nap.. she called me at 419 saying that she had no more feelings for me and she wanna break up. I was stunned and never said much. She said she’s sorry. -
I was in a state of shock after that.. She was already the main focus of my life.. Everything in my life revolved ard her.. After that, she msg me abit and I wished her luck for her upcoming quizzes. I missed her and would cry every night in bed. I didnÂ’t expect that things will end so abruptly. We went on like this until Sunday when she told me sheÂ’s going to a guyÂ’s house to watch a soccer game. I asked her why she din mentioned the guy to me before and she said heÂ’s juz a fren she known in sec sch. I was very upset as I canÂ’t imaging her to be with a guy even though they are only watching soccer.. I cried and she called me later saying that they were in a group and there are other guys ard too but they are all frens to her. She explained that the reasons that she wanna break up; sheÂ’s too young, she donÂ’t wanna me to wait for her in case she hurts me (seriously even at that time, I canÂ’t accept the truth). Finally, I made up my mind and wished her all the best for her future.
But we would still sms each other .. I roughly accepted and was trying to get on my life. Then she msg me the next sunday saying that she juz wanted me to know that she missed me. I tot since she had a quiz the next day, she would skipped her dinner again. So I went to get dinner, snacks and herbal tea as she was complaining sheÂ’s unwell. I left the things outside her house and left. When I was at the void deck, I called her saying that I brought her dinner. She asked why I was there and since I was there, I should go find her. We went to her living room to watch tv while she ate her dinner. Then, she said she wanna study and lets go to her bedroom where she could study. I was abit reluctant as I think I should leave straight. But once she hugged me in her living room, I told her that I missed her. We kissed and hugged later (nothing more). She slept in my arms on her bed. Everything seems back to normal. I asked her if we would have a chance to be together again. She donÂ’t wanted to answer but I told her to say the truth. Either thereÂ’s chance or not. She replied therÂ’s chance but she donÂ’t wanna promise.
We would then sms and talk abit on the phone after that sun.. Then on wed, she told me she tink its really impossible between me and her and sheÂ’s sorry. She said sheÂ’s a bitch for doing such things to me. She appreciated everything that she did for me but she donÂ’t wanted hurt me anymore. I told her to meet up again to clear things up. The whole affair is dragging and its affecting both of us. Later that nite, she said she felt thereÂ’s nothing to talk. I got upset and I scolded her for toying with my feelings, she wasnÂ’t serious about out r/s, IÂ’m someone who does everything for her and the moment IÂ’m not in school, IÂ’m dumped. She put down the phone.
I made up my mind not to think of her anymore. Totally disappointed. I spent more time at work and tried to look around for some courses or volunteering work I can do since I have free time on my own now. My frens and some of her frens also consoled me saying that I will find a better gal next time. And I was actually feeling much better than I was previously. Then she called me on Sunday when I was out with my classmates saying that what I said was totally wrong, she really loved me that time. I tot that IÂ’m recovering but the call totally brought me back to the initial stage. We ended our conversation saying that good luck to each other and maybe we can meet on the next weekend as she wants to buy clothes. I din called her after that even though I still miss her but I was determined to stop it. She msn on Monday nite saying that sheÂ’s gonna fail her quiz and sheÂ’s not gonna make it.. as usual, I consoled her asking her to put in more effort and start her exam revision earlier. Upon hearing her voice, I canÂ’t help but think of our r/s again.. why everything turned out this way.
Then yesterday nite, she msn me saying that she is attached now. Her new bf is the ******. I already guessed it could be him but I canÂ’t help but felt that he is one of the reasons why we broke up. HeÂ’s always there for her while I can only see her at nite. But when I asked her if sheÂ’s happier with him than when she was with me and she said sheÂ’s happier when sheÂ’s with me.
I donno if I should be happy or sad. She was my first gf and I really loved her.. Even though I knew that her heart isnÂ’t with me anymore but I cannot accept it. Not especially when she got herself a bf so soon.. is this normal? The things and the feelings I have now? Are they all normal? Even her frens said that she was in the wrong, one even scolded her. I was very closed to her frens as I spent all my time with her and all her frens like me and said IÂ’m a very nice guy and my ex was very fortunate to meet me. But its all slant condolence to me now.. IÂ’m going crazy soon and there seems to be no end to this prob.
Can anyone here please help? Please -
Be honest.
You were a jerk to her , that's why she left you.
Let's be very truthful now.
No woman will leave a man if he is such a nice guy as what you would hope to believe.
Once you have admitted that you've been a jerk to her, and that you deserved to be dumped. You will get over it faster.
Guys who pretend to be Mr Nice guy, is just what it is, FAKE.
So stop that "I'm such a nice guy, why did she has to leave me " Bull shiate. OK ? -
Then ur wrong. Not every guy is what u tot to be. Believe it or not but IÂ’m not. All her frens know I was very good to her and they came to consoled me when they knew what happened. My ex said it was because i'm too nice to here that she don't wanna disappointed me in future if ioru r/s doesn't work out.
Anyway if IÂ’m really a jerk, den why should I bother posting this thread in the first place? [/quote] -
Lets face it.Originally posted by L.o.s.t:
You ain't Mr Perfect.
There are many guys who in outsider's eyes is the nice boy next door who got dumped by their evil girlfriends.
The truth is, behind closed doors, the Mr Nice guy , disregarded his gf's feelings and do things to make her feel slighted. While putting on a good guys image in the public.
These Mr Nice Guys just wants to make their ex the witches of eastwicks.
So people will go naturally side with him, pat his backs and give him their sympathy.
So far, you never once describe your own flaws. That in itself tells me loud and clear that you are a fake nice guy. -
i already said it earlier in my post.. IÂ’m not those romantic type nor not good looking.. thats y im willing to spend all my time with her..Originally posted by jojobeach:Lets face it.
You ain't Mr Perfect.
There are many guys who in outsider's eyes is the nice boy next door who got dumped by their evil girlfriends.
The truth is, behind closed doors, the Mr Nice guy , disregarded his gf's feelings and do things to make her feel slighted. While putting on a good guys image in the public.
These Mr Nice Guys just wants to make their ex the witches of eastwicks.
So people will go naturally side with him, pat his backs and give him their sympathy.
So far, you never once describe your own flaws. That in itself tells me loud and clear that you are a fake nice guy. -
When something or someone seems too good to be true.Originally posted by L.o.s.t:i already said it earlier in my post.. IÂ’m not those romantic type nor not good looking.. thats y im willing to spend all my time with her..
It usually is.
My take is simple. Please don't come here and pretend to be the poor Prince Charming to con some young innocent girls. -
i really dont understand u..
the ppl here donno me.. nor my gf.. So whats the point of me coming here to gain pity or wat
Do u get what i meant? -
Yes I know what you mean and I know what you are up to.Originally posted by L.o.s.t:i really dont understand u..
the ppl here donno me.. nor my gf.. So whats the point of me coming here to gain pity or wat
Do u get what i meant? -
There is something missing in her feeling about u, the X factor. U just have to let go, if she is not meant to be yrs just let it be. Real test for love is when both start to settle down when honey moon is over.
-
Hmm.... What's not meant to be is not meant to be... Forget abt her, move on.
-
only the 1st....many more nicer girls to come lah....why commit so soon
enjoy life as a single 1st, moreover you just started working......what's the CASH for
its for ENJOYMENT
so chill & ur time will come later, cheers
-
]Originally posted by de_middle:only the 1st....many more nicer girls to come lah....why commit so soon
enjoy life as a single 1st, moreover you just started working......what's the CASH for its for ENJOYMENT
so chill & ur time will come later, cheers
dats why, join the singles club!!!! -
Why the hostility towards TS? I think his purpose is just to share with us his story, rather than use it to his advantage..Originally posted by jojobeach:Yes I know what you mean and I know what you are up to.
I am sure there ARE guys who are nice, and haven't you heard this chinese saying that goes something like "being too nice is also a wrong" -
bloody hell so long . later free will read and see how jerk u are as jojo said
-
Originally posted by Zarks:
ya ver long
bloody hell so long . later free will read and see how jerk u are as [b]jojo said[/b]
can summarize a not -
if you guys are not here to help, please.. gtfo.
-
how is that, being a jerk?
read wrong thread is it?
It's really sad to know when you do so many things for a girl (literally flying to the moon and back) and everything ends up so cruelly for you. And it hurts more, when the girl that you love, hugged and shared kisses with has found someone new and soon, be doing what you have done with her. I've been through what you have been and it doesnt take a less perfect man to fathom what goes on in HER mind. sigh..
Took me 2 weeks to have some senses knocked back into me since that landmark breakup a few years ago and besides, a few months into a r/s doesnt warrant a talk about commitment unless there's true reciprocal feelings about you two. -
Being too nice doesnt mean a girl will stay with u.... It need more then being nice. That ger bro are nice to her too... and so is her parent...
A ger will be with u if u are able to satisfy her need, in term of emotional, physical and desire. I am sure once u do that, she wont run from even if u let her go out with other guys.... -
TS ish ur clone iijitOriginally posted by Rejected:if you guys are not here to help, please.. gtfo. -
Well girls usually goes with their feelings...
If one day they wake up wrong side or eat something wrong previous night and then suddenly no more feelings for you, thats the end regardless of everything you guys had share and been working for, etc
From 1 angle its really selfish, but on the other, it is their life their choices.
Tough luck there and good luck for future -
Look at my siggy...
Relationships doesn't always have a happy ending. Just be glad that the person has once entered your life and made it once beautiful with great memories.
She may not be the one for you after all. I believe she is tempted to explore other possibilities in terms of men, and doesn't really know where she is heading.
Your RS may have reached a standstill. There might be missing sparks to spice up.
But if you 2 are really meant to be, at the end of the day, will still end up together.
What do you want from this RS? Ask yourself. Do you want her back? Or you want to move on?
Think. But dun dwell. -
Well, now u can focus more on your career.
What's your will eventually be ur. No point hanging on something that is lost. Move on dude. -
i dun agree with jojobeach at all, but that is what based on TS'story. it's the girls fault . she should have a limit on how close she should be with other guys and not drag so much till the got attached? it's like wth.
but that's based on TS story alone. -
If a r/s ended, why even bother pointing the finger as to who's fault and who to blame? Esp in the case of TS, the ger clearly made a choice that she think is best for her and move on. She don't owe TS anything. It a free will world and it take two to clap. TS can try to pin point where it all go wrong or how it had come to this and try not to repeat it in future. But I think, when it come to r/s, it is more of a demand and supply. If u can provide the other party need it will work, if not then that party have a choice to move on be it temptation or better pasture. She had move on, so should u. If she can find someone, so can u.