I am really in agony, i jumped into this knowing i would have to face this someday. I didnt know how to start, but here is it.

I can still clearly remember our first "official conversation" 3 years ago. I was in the school's library and she was very busy typing on her computer. I went over and sat down and said "You look really tired". She stopped typing, smiled at me and said, "For my post-grad research, i've got a student helper, but he went missing. I guess transcripting like this is not for everyone."

I said something and went off for lunch. After lunch, i bought coffee and headed over to the library. I gave her the coffee and i could see that she was really happy, then i handed her my thumb drive. She was reluctant at first, but in the end, she still accepted my offer to help with her transcripting. That was when i got her cell phone number and MSN, in case i encountered problems with the transcripting...

That was how we started everything. I was then 18, finishing my A levels, and enlisting. She was then, 27, an attractive teacher and post graduate in my school doing research and teaching.

We got pretty close, and tease each other alot. I didnt give it much thought at first, i just liked her company, and she didnt mind too.
With my help, she finished her research on time, and she wanted to pay me for the job done, but i declined. I jokingly said i wanted a meal, and that is what she did. We had our first dinner together at a small, inexpensive restaurant, and the start of many more to come.

Months later, i was enlisted. She accompanied me alot before enlistment, even more then my parents. Every night, i would exchange sms with her, she would brighten up my night. Once, i am able to book out for a day due to public holiday, and i dreaded the long journey home. I called her, and she agreed letting my stay over for the night at her place in pasiris since she lives in a rented apartment alone. That was the start of my staying over at her place during weekend breaks or holiday breaks. She would help wash my laundry, cook, watch television together and sometimes even massage my back for me.

I knew we were not just purely friends since then.

now i am 21, she's 30. I am having a steady job and doing my degree at SIM at the same time. She now teaches in a certain institution. We are an item.
Few weeks back, we had a chat.. She felt that we should make known our relationship... I am fine with that... and her mother objects to our relationship very very strongly...

She loves me, and i loves her. Now, we are facing pressure from family, friends and even when we are out, shop assistants/owners addresses us as siblings and such. Are we really not suitable? Why cant we be together?

maybe they cant accept the age gap?

wow, i'm impressed

you know, if love is there, age really isn't the problem

her mom is too traditional

I didnt know how we both fall in love, but, we knew inside of us, that there are reasons for us keeping our relationship low profiled for the past years.

she's almost a decade older, that what her mum says.
She's almost a decade older, that what my parent says.
She's almost a decade older, that what everybody says.

Originally posted by NotADream:

I didnt know how we both fall in love, but, we knew inside of us, that there are reasons for us keeping our relationship low profiled for the past years.

she's almost a decade older, that what her mum says.
She's almost a decade older, that what my parent says.
She's almost a decade older, that what everybody says.

I think.. It takes time for them to accept and get used to the idea.

If they really love you, they should respect ur idea and wish all the best for your happiness.

Even though the age gap is there, but to find true love is not easy.
So do u want to conform to the society and forsake to what is true to u ?

Originally posted by NotADream:

I didnt know how we both fall in love, but, we knew inside of us, that there are reasons for us keeping our relationship low profiled for the past years.

she's almost a decade older, that what her mum says.
She's almost a decade older, that what my parent says.
She's almost a decade older, that what everybody says.

maybe you ask them if they would accept a malay daughter-in-law or an indian daughter-in-law or anything else that is younger or same age as you......

ps: not trying to be racial

Friend,

You need time and preserverance to move the hearts of people.

If either of you do not have that, then your relationship will be the one that will sway.

Originally posted by M©+square:

Friend,

You need time and preserverance to move the hearts of people.

If either of you do not have that, then your relationship will be the one that will sway.

agreed.

hey, i am impressed~

you are a role model for many other pple.

keep on trying. ur gf needs to convince her parents.

and u shld try very hard to maintain if u n her truly love each other....

Anything goes, so long as you like it, don’t mind the rest.

When i think about how we first met, the time we spent together, its so heartening and makes me smile.

I could still see how she blushes when we first kissed, how fast her heartbeat felt when we first hugged, how she behaves like a little girl.

Now, seeing her fighting to be together with me, makes me happy and glad, yet hurt and sad.

Support you TS. This kind of thing can't be rush. People tend to live on stereotyping. Based everything on things they only believe in. Therefore, there are many hard preserverance for both of you to take.

You must take note that she not young too, so if you really decide to carry on with it, show the world that both of you are determined. Once you can break their mindset, then everything will be fine.

Basically I also believed that age gap is a hinderance but definitely not a no-go. I myself also like someone much older than your differences And I'm 22 only.

Elope, one day your parents will come to their senses.

Eloping is not a way. You only prove people that two of you can’t face the reality at all.

Originally posted by NotADream:

When i think about how we first met, the time we spent together, its so heartening and makes me smile.

I could still see how she blushes when we first kissed, how fast her heartbeat felt when we first hugged, how she behaves like a little girl.

Now, seeing her fighting to be together with me, makes me happy and glad, yet hurt and sad.

u have my support & my respect man

prove everyone wrong, ur happiness & hers is what matters most

Whoa, how i envy you! I have always always wanted to get a gf older than me.. Treasure her and fight against the critics! if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!

I’ve thought about proving to everybody with marriage. Only then will it be happily ever after for us…

Don't rush into marriage. This must be only the last resort. And is not always the best solution. If things turn out wrong way, divorcing is another troublesome matter.

Right now, bear the critics. Endure the hardship. After you graduate then decide the next step. You must also have the ability to support the family.

Yeah, it’s just too soon for marriage, you have lots of things to consider.. Housing, and everything. you might seek advice from people who are married or have similar cases like yours..

i dont know any 1 with similar case... only got friends who had baby before marriage... but its pretty different from mine.

Its the pressure that i am facing, and the pressure that i know she is facing that really sends me into agony..

love transcends age.

Originally posted by dbowie:

love transcends age.

just like news that ever happened...if one day your 21 years old son came home and tell you he intended to marry a 60 years old lady, would you have agreed to that too?

just a hypotetical question

TS you have my sincere blessing

Originally posted by mmooi:

Don't rush into marriage. This must be only the last resort. And is not always the best solution. If things turn out wrong way, divorcing is another troublesome matter.

Right now, bear the critics. Endure the hardship. After you graduate then decide the next step. You must also have the ability to support the family.

the gf also nt v young le....

hmm...that lies the problem...

yeah, the age of your gf also have to be taken into consideration.. but whatever you do, just don’t have the day you go home and tell your parents that she’s pregnant.. they might even be more upset

Yes, her age is one problem. She's not young anymore. I dont think she would be really happy to wait that long even if she says verbally she's ok with it. Love is one thing, security is another. The longer this goes, the more insecure she feels. The reason she wants to open up the closet to the relationship is because of that too