How not to be insecure?
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hey guys,
is there anyway to overcome this problem? i've been reading through all the threads trying to learn how not to be like this but to no avail. I recognise that this is one of my problems that is making me very distracted from making the relationship an even better one. I wish to focus my energy to be more positive and not one where i think about the worst.
This is my last barrier to happiness. i hope there would be some help! thanks. -
Confidence is the key!Originally posted by WhamBamTyMam:hey guys,
is there anyway to overcome this problem? i've been reading through all the threads trying to learn how not to be like this but to no avail. I recognise that this is one of my problems that is making me very distracted from making the relationship an even better one. I wish to focus my energy to be more positive and not one where i think about the worst.
This is my last barrier to happiness. i hope there would be some help! thanks.
Be confident of yrself -
The thing is I'm a confident person. but not really when im away from my partner. thats when things go bad. I'm afraid she becomes tired of my stupid attitude.
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No. U are not a confident person!Originally posted by WhamBamTyMam:The thing is I'm a confident person. but not really when im away from my partner. thats when things go bad. I'm afraid she becomes tired of my stupid attitude.
Have space for her and space for u. Know yr strong point. Btw,do u know why she loves u? -
Yea im not pretty sure of that myself. I guess we're comfortable around each other.
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Continue to do small small bit of things for her as a way to show yr love to her. Occassionally,plan something special and make her in cloud nine.Originally posted by WhamBamTyMam:Yea im not pretty sure of that myself. I guess we're comfortable around each other.
Love is never an ending business. U need to continue to water the plant regularly to keep it booming. A small slack,the flower will not shining!
Then yr confident lvl will be there for yr continuous love of action to her.
Of cos,there is no gurantee of success even with yr effort and love even she may chooses to leave u in future for whatever reason but at least u can parted with a clear conscience heart and held yr head up,ready for next r/s! -
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tell her and talk to her about it... i was like that but as soon as i talked to my gf about it she helped me and i got a lot more secure and happy etc...
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erm may i ask what did she do to help? i did try talking to her about it. she does try to make it better but i guess not enough. SO im wondering if im too over demanding.
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base on yr reply.I think u need to start with yrself rather than trying to ask more from her..Originally posted by WhamBamTyMam:erm may i ask what did she do to help? i did try talking to her about it. she does try to make it better but i guess not enough. SO im wondering if im too over demanding. -
gave me time but not spaceOriginally posted by WhamBamTyMam:erm may i ask what did she do to help? i did try talking to her about it. she does try to make it better but i guess not enough. SO im wondering if im too over demanding.
made sure i always knew that she loved me and that there was no real reason to be insecure... and had a massive go at me for not telling her when i was feeling bad lol it takes time... habits don't die easily and that's what it is really just a bad habit -
yeah, once upon a time I was exactly like you. Having the feeling of insecurity becoz of self-esteemOriginally posted by WhamBamTyMam:erm may i ask what did she do to help? i did try talking to her about it. she does try to make it better but i guess not enough. SO im wondering if im too over demanding.
Its all anxiety in the making.
Ask yourself, unless u want this r/s to go up in flames....continue being like this. She'll eventually get tired & decides to move on.
If you love her, love yourself 1st & be proud of yourself
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Hi TS, I am in the same situation with u. I have still yet to overcome it, but I am trying. For me, it stems from bad past experiences. I haven't fully recover though it had been awhile, there is just this emotional scar that won't go away.
Maybe you should i dentify the root of the problem. Is it because of your past? Is it because of certain things that didn't happen to you but affected you indirectly? Or is it because of your partner?
My bf is very good with girls and it caused alot of insecurities in the early stages of our relationship. But we talked and he had learn to draw the line. But I have a past that have changed me forever. I am still learning.
They are right, the more insecure we are, the more our partners will be frighten away. We have to learn. -
Usually lovers feel secure at the presence of their sweetheart. Actually security denotes mental emotional security than the physical presence.Originally posted by WhamBamTyMam:The thing is I'm a confident person. but not really when im away from my partner. thats when things go bad. I'm afraid she becomes tired of my stupid attitude.
How can we define insecurity feeling? Or on what do you depend for your sense of security? The simplest answer is that if you feel confident enough, if you are at peace with yourself you have all the rights to feel secure.
Just like one plus one equals two, for joining hands with your lover you should have doubled confident, doubled peace of mind and of course doubled feeling of security. It is common among lovers that they feel insecurity in the relationship. There could be so many reasons behind the feeling of insecurity. Negative self images, attitudes towards life, unable to know and understand your lover, disability to cop up with changing life situations, lack of trust etc... can bring the feeling of insecurity in you. -
security comes from trust. you don't trust her enough?