girlfriend going out with other guys
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Hi I am having some problem with my girlfriend and need some advice. Recently, my girlfriend have been going out with this particular guy for about 5 times since may this year. I ask her why is it that she is going out with him? and she explained that it is because that she just wants to know more friends.
I understand that it is perfectly fine to know more friends, however I think that the guy is interested in her hence his persistence. And I did voice out my concern to my girlfriend and she promised me she will not go out with him again. That was 2 months ago. Yesterday, she went out with him again.
Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
I have been with my girlfriend for about coming to 2 years. Currently I am a civil servant but come next year Jan I will be quitting my job and concentrate on my degree. I took this step to enhance my paper qualification so as to increase my chance of getting a better paid job. She is supportive but she also understand that I will not be able to be as stable as before when I quit my job.
I am sad that this has happened but I also need some assurance from her. Am i selfish in asking her to stop seeng this guy?? objectively there is nothing wrong with her seeing other guys. emotionally, i am actually quite bothered by her willingness to go out with him. I am very sad cause I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful. -
Did you spent enough time with her to keep her devoted to you?
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yes i spent almost everyday with unless it is work which prevented me from keeping her company
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Then she must be bored with the relationship and / or bored with you.Originally posted by moletan2003:yes i spent almost everyday with unless it is work which prevented me from keeping her company
It happens. Sometimes she just needs to spend sometime with other people. -
Ya ok thanks for advice. I just need someone to talk to
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bro same sameOriginally posted by moletan2003:Hi I am having some problem with my girlfriend and need some advice. Recently, my girlfriend have been going out with this particular guy for about 5 times since may this year. I ask her why is it that she is going out with him? and she explained that it is because that she just wants to know more friends.
I understand that it is perfectly fine to know more friends, however I think that the guy is interested in her hence his persistence. And I did voice out my concern to my girlfriend and she promised me she will not go out with him again. That was 2 months ago. Yesterday, she went out with him again.
Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
I have been with my girlfriend for about coming to 2 years. Currently I am a civil servant but come next year Jan I will be quitting my job and concentrate on my degree. I took this step to enhance my paper qualification so as to increase my chance of getting a better paid job. She is supportive but she also understand that I will not be able to be as stable as before when I quit my job.
I am sad that this has happened but I also need some assurance from her. Am i selfish in asking her to stop seeng this guy?? objectively there is nothing wrong with her seeing other guys. emotionally, i am actually quite bothered by her willingness to go out with him. I am very sad cause I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful.
i also wish that someone would give some helpful advises that could enlighten us. especially when u know that the guy is 'up to no good' or rather we ASSUME. -
seriously,some gals not very "automatic" or "zhi4 dong4"...attached already still go out with guys...saying it's just "guy friends..."
Oh spare me the bull shi-t pleasseE!!!
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they are not serious enough
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U need to understand. WhAT u really need to spend with her is quality time and not quantity time! U may spend 24hrs a day, 7 days per week but just doing all the same routine things is not going to boast yr r/s or bring it to another higher lvl.Originally posted by moletan2003:yes i spent almost everyday with unless it is work which prevented me from keeping her company
Btw, I think yr gal shall also be a bit auto since she knows that guy like her. Totally cut off from him may be too much as yr gal may really have the intention of only be friends with him but maylimit her meet of him for only 3 month per meeting and she shall continue assurance u that her love is devoted to u! -
bro i know how u feel man.
heart realli pain. and heavy.
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moletan2003,
When your gf goes out with this guy.
Is it one to one ? Or with some friends included ? -
oops
i kena sexposed.
u gf was too cute for me -
u need to rhk the damn gay
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First of all, I would like to point out to those who make a fool of themself in this thread to review their own doings. Don't think just because the mods do not have the power to ban, You can do and say whatever you want.
Secondly, I think for this kind of situation. I would break up with the girl. Even if its difficult to accept. Think of it this way, What would your girlfriend do if you were the one going out with another girl? I understand about sacrificing for your loved one. But she is being selfish, She says she is just making friends, But only she knows to what degree does she treats that "friend". -
unless dat guy is my gf's v gd fren, otherwise i think it is a bit questionable?
whether or not dat guy is up to no gd, i dunnoe, we dunnoe too. but we can only advise u to talk with ur gf
i also wont suka ska go out with other girls unless the girl is my v gd fren, which my gf noes. (only got a few girls whom i v gd fren with nia)
talk to her. probably ur relationship needs something to spice up. -
where she go wif him? club? movie? if u so concerned then request to join in ithe outing lo... become his fren... tink theres something missing here....Originally posted by moletan2003:Hi I am having some problem with my girlfriend and need some advice. Recently, my girlfriend have been going out with this particular guy for about 5 times since may this year. I ask her why is it that she is going out with him? and she explained that it is because that she just wants to know more friends.
I understand that it is perfectly fine to know more friends, however I think that the guy is interested in her hence his persistence. And I did voice out my concern to my girlfriend and she promised me she will not go out with him again. That was 2 months ago. Yesterday, she went out with him again.
Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
I have been with my girlfriend for about coming to 2 years. Currently I am a civil servant but come next year Jan I will be quitting my job and concentrate on my degree. I took this step to enhance my paper qualification so as to increase my chance of getting a better paid job. She is supportive but she also understand that I will not be able to be as stable as before when I quit my job.
I am sad that this has happened but I also need some assurance from her. Am i selfish in asking her to stop seeng this guy?? objectively there is nothing wrong with her seeing other guys. emotionally, i am actually quite bothered by her willingness to go out with him. I am very sad cause I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful. -
Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
readily? then her lack of objection would be telling... -
If she goes out with other male friends regularly but only this particular chap is making you feel uneasy, then trust your gut. You have no real confirmation whether there is something fishy going on between them but dude, this line alone is bad enough - when your woman is ok with a cooling off period without putting up a fight or wondering why, her interest in you is waning. The real problem isn't the guy, because even if you manage to bash this one with a stick, there will come another, and another.Originally posted by moletan2003:Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
Fretting over her 'guy friends' is not going to help. And it is true that men don't keep pretty girls around for the sake of platonic friendship (unless they are blatantly gay), but by making her promise never to see him again you are showing her your insecurities and insecurity in a man is a bit of a turn off. Besides, if she wants to see him, there is no way you can stop her - it is impossible to keep any woman on a leash.
The biggest mistake you can possibly make dude, is making her choose between you and the boys. Why don't you demonstrate some confidence by telling her you are glad she is hanging out with these boys and if she wants to go out with a hundred others, she should be your guest and go ahead, play with them and have a good time?
Since she is perfectly fine with not seeing you for a month and then take some time off, don't call her, don't send her messages, make zero contact and find your life outside of this heavy duty relationship.
Just my two cents worth. -
broOriginally posted by moletan2003:Hi I am having some problem with my girlfriend and need some advice. Recently, my girlfriend have been going out with this particular guy for about 5 times since may this year. I ask her why is it that she is going out with him? and she explained that it is because that she just wants to know more friends.
I understand that it is perfectly fine to know more friends, however I think that the guy is interested in her hence his persistence. And I did voice out my concern to my girlfriend and she promised me she will not go out with him again. That was 2 months ago. Yesterday, she went out with him again.
Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
I have been with my girlfriend for about coming to 2 years. Currently I am a civil servant but come next year Jan I will be quitting my job and concentrate on my degree. I took this step to enhance my paper qualification so as to increase my chance of getting a better paid job. She is supportive but she also understand that I will not be able to be as stable as before when I quit my job.
I am sad that this has happened but I also need some assurance from her. Am i selfish in asking her to stop seeng this guy?? objectively there is nothing wrong with her seeing other guys. emotionally, i am actually quite bothered by her willingness to go out with him. I am very sad cause I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful.
finishing uni = better pay and better gals
why worry about a gal who prefers other guys who are stable?
Is not her fault rite? Sad but true lar let her go.
If she cannot stick to you during tough times do you think she will do it in the future?
this is a real world. Got money you chose people, no money you got to let people chose you.
"I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful"
Wahh I did that in past also but so what? A handsome guy or a rich guy comes along and all the efforts are wasted.
Enjoy life man why brother about doing so much? -
Wah kao... why so jaded? It's still worth it finding the right girl to mull over and share your weekends with. Be a bit more positive dude.Originally posted by Guardx:bro
finishing uni = better pay and better gals
why worry about a gal who prefers other guys who are stable?
Is not her fault rite? Sad but true lar let her go.
If she cannot stick to you during tough times do you think she will do it in the future?
this is a real world. Got money you chose people, no money you got to let people chose you.
"I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful"
Wahh I did that in past also but so what? A handsome guy or a rich guy comes along and all the efforts are wasted.
Enjoy life man why brother about doing so much? -
Guys thanks so much for all your input. I already know the problem of my relationship the cooling off period is meant as a gauge for me to see her affection for me. I can roughly know the answer. Anyway she went out alone with this guy for a drink. The last time my ex did this she left with another guy. I really thank you all for your kind words :}
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cheer up man... just going out what... nothing one lah.. just dun start trying to imagine what they did and where they went lor....
but anyway... based on my experience.. when ur gal prefer to go out with another guy alone.. then it's game over already... it happened to so many of my flings... so.. i understand... just have a beer and sleep over it lah.. find a new one ...
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ya i need to cheer up and go out with my friends. stay happy :}
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Hmmmm i think she just wants to see if she has made the right choice...yes though it seems sometimes she is already committed...but she's not married yet...which means she still has a chance to choose...perhaps she does feel bad too...but she just doesn't know how to tell you....just take the time that you both agreed to give yourselves space to think it through....if its still worth it to carry on....i do hope that both of you will get on together again....i mean its 2 years together....both of you must have been through a lot together....=) all the best~!
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ya i have always put in a lot of effort in my relationships. cook for her, fetch her from work, buy gifts for her, write letters, pick saga seeds make it into a bolster. Everything that i can think of however its just my financial instability which is going to lack soon that prevents her commitment. But i stilll belived that forsaking my job for the degree is the correct thing to do with or without her.
