Words said by army officers still affect me till now...
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"If you can't survive in the army, you can't survive the outside world."
Well, my first reaction was of course, that of utter disbelief, defensive and a little angry. But later somehow, I felt my officer was right in a way to say that to me.
I had been less capable, less street-smart compared to all my colleagues in the office. I was an army clerk, you see. I have always have trouble with understanding simple instructions and carrying them out perfectly (efficiently and effectively).
Maybe it boils down to maintaining a positive attitude, but my self-esteem has never been healthy since kindergarten days. For I have been very slow in understanding stuff and clumsy when it comes to most tasks.
I'm still seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication faithfully. However, as it is, self-esteem issues are too big for me to express adequately and accurately to mental health professionals.
I also have a deep distrust for and a deep dislike of people due to various life experiences. So all this, together with my VERY slow to understand and inferiority complex, this has made staying on jobs for at least a year an almost impossible task. -
It's not a difficult task to stay in menial jobs but the question is whether you want to. What did your psychiatrist say to you about your condition?Originally posted by Spnw07:"If you can't survive in the army, you can't survive the outside world."
Well, my first reaction was of course, that of utter disbelief, defensive and a little angry. But later somehow, I felt my officer was right in a way to say that to me.
I had been less capable, less street-smart compared to all my colleagues in the office. I was an army clerk, you see. I have always have trouble with understanding simple instructions and carrying them out perfectly (efficiently and effectively).
Maybe it boils down to maintaining a positive attitude, but my self-esteem has never been healthy since kindergarten days. For I have been very slow in understanding stuff and clumsy when it comes to most tasks.
I'm still seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication faithfully. However, as it is, self-esteem issues are too big for me to express adequately and accurately to mental health professionals.
I also have a deep distrust for and a deep dislike of people due to various life experiences. So all this, together with my VERY slow to understand and inferiority complex, this has made staying on jobs for at least a year an almost impossible task. -
I think you should give yourself much credit simplfy by the fact that you acknowledge that you have a problem and you are indeed seeking solutions.
These says alot abt your courage and character strength as compared to many that who are so call high fliers who prefer to hide their problems or character flaws in drinks, ciggies, women (or men), etc etc
Just take things step by step, eventually you will reach where you want to go.
Hang in there and many cheers! -
be positive cheer up. y let ppl affect u?
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Seriously, army has nothing to do with the real world...
Cos... I don't think that real world will charge anyone who came late for work, no show for work(MIA), etc... the most get sacked.
Anyway, the most practical thing that I learnt in army is keng...
and how to shield and redirect arrows...
but I think that is basic skills I oredi had before serving NS but put to good use in army though... -
The person who say tat statement to u have not experience the outside world ...Originally posted by Spnw07:"If you can't survive in the army, you can't survive the outside world." -
actually the first line kinda true for some pple.
going through the army is a toughening up period for sissy boys. the outside world is not as bad cos there's no m0f0s play rank with u, den dun have to be scared of kena charged to DB and extras etc etc.
so the mental stress in army helps to train up boys to the bigger world outside when they ORD.
TS, dun get so affected by these pple. but learn ur lessons while serving, cos its a dog eat dog world outside also -
TS, what i think u need to have now is belief.
first of all, what u need is a dream. What u want to be ten years down the road?
Albert Einstein is regarded as stupid and dumb in his early years but what happen to him later in his life? An ingenious scientist where no one can ever match. Therefore, stop thinking that u are slow and dumb and start to have a positive belief.
I ever watch a show whereby a young lady was struck with a disease or kena accident that makes her immobile and inability to even speak, resembling that of a stroke patient. However, she manage to get to her feet again because a word that she have faith in. That magic word is "belief". When u think that u can, u can. If u don't, u won't. -
It's all right to make mistakes, just use them as learning opportunities. Keep up a positive attitude and everything will go just fine.
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I had nasty words thrown at me when I was in my NS too.
I managed to throw them far behind and not think about it so much later on.
thinking too much can affect you deeply. Its is just nasty words from a jerk who never uses his brain when speaking.
His words cannot determine anything for you. -
true in some sense... cos army is all bullshit... if cannot handle bullshit, how to handle the real world?
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Dear casshern,your moral values are wrong.Religions teach us to be kind to others.Dog eat dog world is morally wrong.You should't use such a phrase to hurt the threadstarter.Originally posted by casshern:actually the first line kinda true for some pple.
going through the army is a toughening up period for sissy boys. the outside world is not as bad cos there's no m0f0s play rank with u, den dun have to be scared of kena charged to DB and extras etc etc.
so the mental stress in army helps to train up boys to the bigger world outside when they ORD.
TS, dun get so affected by these pple. but learn ur lessons while serving, cos its a dog eat dog world outside also -
Army is never equal to the coporate world. You tell your officers to go out to the coporate world and you see that they are the ones who can't survive in the coorate world -
prove him wrong
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sissy cant downpes ?Originally posted by casshern:actually the first line kinda true for some pple.
going through the army is a toughening up period for sissy boys. the outside world is not as bad cos there's no m0f0s play rank with u, den dun have to be scared of kena charged to DB and extras etc etc.
so the mental stress in army helps to train up boys to the bigger world outside when they ORD.
TS, dun get so affected by these pple. but learn ur lessons while serving, cos its a dog eat dog world outside also
my counseullor told me sissy or feminine man can .
but feminine nt the timid shy type , is aqua type eg crossdress .
gays also .
gays with feminine is pes E , normally gays r pes C .
I labelled as sissy for my bmt .
I also sort of have an inferiority complex . -
I still remember my CB 3rd sergent telling me " YOU DIE BETTER THEN OTHER PPLE DIE " . i until now still remember the very moment and tone of voice of him telling me that . I really sincerely hope YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO DIE IN ANY ACCIDENTS !!!
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Originally posted by gunner77:prove him wrong
inferiority is bad , in NS i gt this .
cos i never shoot so i feel inferior .
also whatever i do i gt no confidence .
i gt scared be4 doing it . -
why r u a clerk ?
psychiatric ? -
COME ON LAH, people criticise you a bit, so slightly then you feel depressed. i heard many a times army officers hurl vulgarities even at slow people and when doing pushups , if you can't do, they might make you skip your meals and do for extra hours. for specialist units, they have to do hundreds of pushups a day, some are even subject to mocking.
dun let their words affect you or not you're as weak as people who don't go army even. guys are meant to be strong physically and emotionally.
only when they insult you racially, religiously, personally, do you have the right to be angry. -
I would 50% agree with the officer, 50% disagree.
Agree because, the attitude one has is sometimes inherent in the person. If the person likes to keng, he will forever find easy way out in life.
50% disagree, the officer is most likely a person who got out of JC/Poly and immediately NS'ed.
I was a late enlistee (studied Uni first). I spent my holidays working.
When in NS, my 2IC was a 19 year old, and i was 23 years old.
He was not happy about how i treat my men (too nicely).
I was telling him, Army doesn't have to be about shouting and hurling swear words at my men.
Most important is to convince them that what that has to be done is justified and that one must be convinced why they are doing a certain thing before we can expect them to do something.
He wanted to disagree and started to tell me about, "work life", "how to be assertive in work", "how outside life is"
I just asked him (with intention not being disrespectful), "sir, before NS, you were doing A levels?"
He gave me that stumped look....
2 months later.. i was recommended to be attached out till ORD.
what a small man. -
I agree this point..both in life and in army though I am not in yetOriginally posted by Ponders:I was telling him, Army doesn't have to be about shouting and hurling swear words at my men.
Most important is to convince them that what that has to be done is justified and that one must be convinced why they are doing a certain thing before we can expect them to do something.
I think scolding a bit for mistakes and an encouragement after that is the best..need to motivate them towards a certain aim..and the most effective way to me is encouragement and displayed understanding with sincerity..that way people would be more encouraged
of course more scoldings have to be dished out to those with really guai lan attitudes..that's my viewpoint
so sorry if it sounds dumb to you all
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The key and crux to the issue here is your self-esteem and confidence. It really isn't so much about what has been said and who has said something. The best thing you could do is take the views of others (excluding those who know you extremely well) with a pinch of salt - regardless of whether they're criticisms or compliments.Originally posted by Spnw07:"If you can't survive in the army, you can't survive the outside world."
Well, my first reaction was of course, that of utter disbelief, defensive and a little angry. But later somehow, I felt my officer was right in a way to say that to me.
I had been less capable, less street-smart compared to all my colleagues in the office. I was an army clerk, you see. I have always have trouble with understanding simple instructions and carrying them out perfectly (efficiently and effectively).
Maybe it boils down to maintaining a positive attitude, but my self-esteem has never been healthy since kindergarten days. For I have been very slow in understanding stuff and clumsy when it comes to most tasks.
I'm still seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication faithfully. However, as it is, self-esteem issues are too big for me to express adequately and accurately to mental health professionals.
I also have a deep distrust for and a deep dislike of people due to various life experiences. So all this, together with my VERY slow to understand and inferiority complex, this has made staying on jobs for at least a year an almost impossible task.
If you're going to allow your worth and self-esteem to be founded on the basis of what others say, I'm afraid you'll be living a pretty sad life trying to pander to all and sundry. Really, at the end of the day, it's your life you're living - and you certainly do not live on the criticisms and/or compliments of others, much less rely on their endorsements. Live life the way you want and you'd be leading a far more satisfying and productive life - for a start, even living with your own mistakes which had arisen from your own convictions would be an awful lot easier... -
No time for that in a real war.Originally posted by Ponders:I would 50% agree with the officer, 50% disagree.
Agree because, the attitude one has is sometimes inherent in the person. If the person likes to keng, he will forever find easy way out in life.
50% disagree, the officer is most likely a person who got out of JC/Poly and immediately NS'ed.
I was a late enlistee (studied Uni first). I spent my holidays working.
When in NS, my 2IC was a 19 year old, and i was 23 years old.
He was not happy about how i treat my men (too nicely).
I was telling him, Army doesn't have to be about shouting and hurling swear words at my men.
Most important is to convince them that what that has to be done is justified and that one must be convinced why they are doing a certain thing before we can expect them to do something.
He wanted to disagree and started to tell me about, "work life", "how to be assertive in work", "how outside life is"
I just asked him (with intention not being disrespectful), "sir, before NS, you were doing A levels?"
He gave me that stumped look....
2 months later.. i was recommended to be attached out till ORD.
what a small man. -
Ah his 2IC has no inkling how to be a proper leader, one who is able to lead, inspire and get his men back alive.
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Don't listen to what your officers say. Even they contradict themselves.
Some examples,
They ask you to think, but to adhere exactly to their procedures.
They tell you that being in the army is an honour, but few of them wanna sign on.
A bit hypocritical huh?