How to build good relationship with colleagues
-
Need some advice regarding handling relationships with colleagues at a new workplace.
I have a busy social life outside work so I tend not hang out with my new colleagues. I hang out with them occasionally but I can't afford to hang out with them regularly. They like to organise last minutes outings before knocking off work which I find difficult to join in.
I am the easy going type with others but I prefer to spend my time with old friends that I made during school days. I have good relationships with my colleagues in my previous workplace so I do not think I am the anti-social type.
Some of my new colleagues ostracizing me or digging at me at work. I have tried to be friendly be they seemed to have a certain mindset about me and it is hard to change their perception after a few months of work.
I do not wish to bring this up to my boss. Worst scenario is I can always quit and look for a new job but would prefer to be able to handle the situation. Any advice would be appreciated. thks. -
think positive.. treat people with respect..if u got treat like a dog but don't complain (wad u expect if u are new)... try to accept what they say.. and change..
i always have this mind set.. so i normally have no problem with my new friends or colleague..
if u always having the same mind set.. then too bad even if u change workplace it will still be the same.. work and school friends its different.. because u might be closer to ur friends cause of good topic to talk .. well in ur work place sure got age gaps so try and accept them.. or else it will be the same every where u get -
I think it is more of problem lies on yr colleague than on u.Originally posted by morningbell:Need some advice regarding handling relationships with colleagues at a new workplace.
I have a busy social life outside work so I tend not hang out with my new colleagues. I hang out with them occasionally but I can't afford to hang out with them regularly. They like to organise last minutes outings before knocking off work which I find difficult to join in.
I am the easy going type with others but I prefer to spend my time with old friends that I made during school days. I have good relationships with my colleagues in my previous workplace so I do not think I am the anti-social type.
Some of my new colleagues ostracizing me or digging at me at work. I have tried to be friendly be they seemed to have a certain mindset about me and it is hard to change their perception after a few months of work.
I do not wish to bring this up to my boss. Worst scenario is I can always quit and look for a new job but would prefer to be able to handle the situation. Any advice would be appreciated. thks.
U can maybe try the method of using ocaasional free treats and freebies to get in their favour first. -
deleted
-
Greet them with a smile every morning, and everything will work out just fine.
-
i always draw a clear line between colleagues and frens.
i wun go out with colleagues unless we happen to be outside after a company event or watever.
i see no point in seeing ur colleagues even after work.. buey sian meh? -
sometimes colleagues can be good friends as well
-
And your friends can be your worst enemies.Originally posted by ahkeat:sometimes colleagues can be good friends as well -
mutual respect. and dun play office politics.Originally posted by ikashi:Greet them with a smile every morning, and everything will work out just fine. -
deleted
-
Thanks for all the replies. Office politics is still something I trying to grasp. Will try out some of the suggestions.
I have been trying to be nice to everyone. I don't hang out with them outside work so hard to build rapport. Maybe I offended some seniors unknowingly by not joining them for activities and they influence others to treat me as an outcast. My EQ not very high.
Some of the senior colleagues that are not so political, have advised me to try to fit in with the others. No choice, I want this job means I must change the opinion of these senior colleagues that dislike me, as it is hard for a newbie like me if people are constantly giving you a hard time and not willing to help you at work. Very vexed with handling these pr matters. -
colleague n friends are different.
Some colleague can be frds but not all and to have a friendship with colleague is a big risk u need to take.
this is the following that can happen.
1) u never know if it's a agent for the boss?
2) out to kill you so less competition for higher post.
3) or just wanna makes friends
u need to see for urself. -
I think you need friends to cover backside at work... That's what I think at least.
-
the key is to have your own integrity and stay clear of any office games.
then you should be okie. -
deleted
-
hmm... i think for me is that my colleagues usually in the end become my friends though. i guess just do ur wrk well, talk with them during lunch or go home together. i guess for me it helps that some of them are living in the same area.
i dun knoe abt office politics though. but i just feel that just do ur wrk well, do ur part. then can already lo
-
Sigh..same, I am an introvert like you too.
-
Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Sigh..same, I am an introvert like you too.
i'm an introvert too but then i just feel that even if you do not speak, people will feel your presence though
-
hmm do u join them for lunch?
personally i find lunches a very good bonding time to be with colleagues.
i don't normally socialise with colleagues after work or on weekends either but we have lunch together.
-
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
hmm do u join them for lunch?
personally i find lunches a very good bonding time to be with colleagues.
i don't normally socialise with colleagues after work or on weekends either but we have lunch together.
this i agree. i mean during lunch hor really good bonding time though. hmm..
-
Build relationship is necessary so that ur working life will be less miserable and u will not lugi much.
Lunch and companies outing.. and occasional gossiping.
I don't gossip but then it is common tool to use to bond in the office.. esp when u really have nothing fun to do.
-
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
hmm do u join them for lunch?
personally i find lunches a very good bonding time to be with colleagues.
i don't normally socialise with colleagues after work or on weekends either but we have lunch together.
But what if they all have their own cliques already and never even invite you for lunch? It is hard to fit into an existing clique lor...Even if you see them in the cafe and join them for lunch, you will notice that they don't even talk to you but talk to their other friends...
Kinda having this problem also at my new workplace...sometimes will miss my old office where I can click with almost everyone there and everytime lunch time I will get invited to go to lunches...but here right now I have to resign to eating at my desk :(
-
They may have the wrong impression of you: snobbish, anti-social etc.
Try to make time for your colleagues too. Celebrate birthdays, successful deals, happy occasions etc.
-
Originally posted by rainee:
But what if they all have their own cliques already and never even invite you for lunch? It is hard to fit into an existing clique lor...Even if you see them in the cafe and join them for lunch, you will notice that they don't even talk to you but talk to their other friends...
Kinda having this problem also at my new workplace...sometimes will miss my old office where I can click with almost everyone there and everytime lunch time I will get invited to go to lunches...but here right now I have to resign to eating at my desk :(
they never ask then u go ask them lo say can i have lunch with you guys? very seldom ppl will reject one. they talk to their friends, listen to their conservation, then respond accordingly lo. i mean like even if they never talk to you, by responding like nodding ur head, u are actually one step away from communicating with them. by doing that, you are also joining in the conservation though.
-
Originally posted by rlsh07:
they never ask then u go ask them lo say can i have lunch with you guys? very seldom ppl will reject one. they talk to their friends, listen to their conservation, then respond accordingly lo. i mean like even if they never talk to you, by responding like nodding ur head, u are actually one step away from communicating with them. by doing that, you are also joining in the conservation though.
I have asked them before, they said yes, but thing is I feel like super extra during the lunch cos I was sitting in between two of them, and then both of them talked to each other over me, as if I was a piece of transparent glass like that. It just feels weird when everyone is talking to each other except me, it just makes me feel unwelcomed and uncomfortable to the point that I do not want to join them anymore :|