Is fighting an act of passion or an unacceptable act?
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300th!!!
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that is not called hang up and sell. that is crisis management.Originally posted by abterror:So can i keep using the same trick?
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That is wat i think, but think my sis dun buy it.Originally posted by blu_sky:i think this is a problem with expectation. While most will love that, but people need to be realistic with expectation.
During courtship where you only see each other a few times a week and each time a few hours, of cos can and should give undivided attention. but if you stay together, to give undivided attn? hmmm.... that is to much to ask for rite? everyone needs his space.
also, it is human to take things for granted. i think we ought to remind ourselves constantly not to take our partner for granted. and we should be sensitive to our partner's 'complaints'/opinions if they comment that we are taking them for granted. Cos it is usually easier to see others' faults than our own.
Think they have problems tat had rolled over -
Originally posted by jojobeach:Please don't gib me roses.
I'd rather you plant a thousand trees.
Thank you.
WHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Apologies; I thought that was damn fringin` funny.
*Excuse me*
Cheers -
NOT all correct de leh.Originally posted by Zarks:boh huat , they minus my pts kao kao. till negative liou. but the heck i care lei.
u know how to cook. +1.
U buy chocolate +1
U make her horny +100 lol
U rich +10,000
U got all C's +10, 000
Treat her romantic dinner +500 lol
all pts ler
u know how to cook. +1.
U buy chocolate -5
U make her horny +1
U rich +1
U got all C's +1
Treat her romantic dinner +1
[/b] -
Funny meh ?Originally posted by Yunhaier: WHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Apologies; I thought that was damn fringin` funny.
*Excuse me*
Cheers
This is call environmentally conscious.
Or Ergo friendly.
Why kill a thousand roses, when you can grow a thousand trees ?
Roses are annuals, so they die in a short time.
Trees can be admired for hundred of years. -
i wonder if fifi saw this
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Why giga boy ? What's wrong with it ?Originally posted by gigabyte14:i wonder if fifi saw this -
cos alot ridiculous posters wat...Originally posted by jojobeach:Why giga boy ? What's wrong with it ? -
Regardless if you pluck the flowers anot, they will still wither anyway. why not let their lives be more meaningful, by bringing more smiles to this world?Originally posted by jojobeach:Funny meh ?
This is call environmentally conscious.
Or Ergo friendly.
Why kill a thousand roses, when you can grow a thousand trees ?
Roses are annuals, so they die in a short time.
Trees can be admired for hundred of years. -
True true, but it's a little bit selfish don't you think so ?Originally posted by blu_sky:Regardless if you pluck the flowers anot, they will still wither anyway. why not let their lives be more meaningful, by bringing more smiles to this world?
Why harvest them so only one can enjoy it's beauty.
If left in the field, bees can pollinate, insects live off the plant and more people can admire the beauty instead of just one.
When it dies, it goes back to the ground and becomes plant food.
Else it will end up in a trash bin and goes to the land fill.
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walao JO. if u say like that , then hard la..Originally posted by jojobeach:Funny meh ?
This is call environmentally conscious.
Or Ergo friendly.
Why kill a thousand roses, when you can grow a thousand trees ?
Roses are annuals, so they die in a short time.
Trees can be admired for hundred of years.
u know why ?
If its hard for you to kill 1000 roses
then are you still eating meat now ? are you still eating vegetable?
PLus they only take some part of the roses flower only.. not the whole plant cuz they need it again to reproduce the flower.. Walao wei. talk like im the killer pulak -
JOJO,Originally posted by jojobeach:True true, but it's a little bit selfish don't you think so ?
Why harvest them so only one can enjoy it's beauty.
If left in the field, bees can pollinate, insects live off the plant and more people can admire the beauty instead of just one.
When it dies, it goes back to the ground and becomes plant food.
Else it will end up in a trash bin and goes to the land fill.
what is the side of ur story of ur abusive ex.
Share? -
Actually I already did share my stories with other ladies in other postings.Originally posted by abterror:JOJO,
what is the side of ur story of ur abusive ex.
Share?
Mine is a very long story, and a very painful one.
Verbal - emotional- physical abuse.
Physical abuse started when our relationship gets rocky.
I started tor realize he's no good for me.
He was controlling, manipulative and totally lack of self-confidence( maybe cus he has a lower education than me, and earning less, this is just speculation)
My ex refused to let me go when I want to break.
He stalked me, beat me up, and threaten to do harm to my family.
I stayed with him for 1 year out of fear.
He would send me to work, and pick me up everyday.
I have no life, I was his slave.
He refused to let me wear anything nice.
Everything I wear , he must approve.
If I wear anything a little revealing, he'd say I am trying to seduce other men.
So he threw away all my sexy clothes 6 months into the relationship.
When we go out, if I don't hold his hand and show affection, he will give me a earful insisting that I am ashamed of him.
To be honest, my friends all told me he is not compatible with me.
In terms of looks, personality and education level.
But, back then, I believed that if I love a guy, I should accept HIS EVERYTHING.
All his good AND ALL HIS BAD.
Though he was my "first love". ( not puppy love /teeny love)
I thought I'd see him improve.
I keep blaming myself for not being a good gf when he constantly complains about how lousy I am.
I go to work with bruises and scrapes on my skin.
But I lied to all my friends and co-workers that I am just a klutzy person and falls and bumps into things.
Nobody believed me, but I continued to lie out of embarrassment.
I asked him why he treats me this way.
He says because he loves me too much, and is afraid he'd lose me.
And when we fight in his car, he'd slam my head into the dash , then tells me I deserved it because I am too willful.
Neck lock, arms lock, wrist twist, you name it, I've got it.
Sometime, he'd chock me till I almost pass out before he release, he claims that if I don't fight him, he wouldn't have to use force against me.
It finally ended, when I refused to come downstairs to meet him on a weekend.
He calls me up and tells me he will set fire to my house.
That's when I woke up. And I started to fight back.
But I dared not go to the police, because he says he knows most of the officers there.
Everything ended when I finally admit to my grandparents and my brother.
They helped me leave him . Painful memories.
But, if you see him on the street, you'd never have guessed he's an abusive person.
He looks very decent and seems like a good guy to everyone.
But, like what everyone tells you, looks is very deceiving. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:Actually I already did share my stories with other ladies in other postings.
Mine is a very long story, and a very painful one.
Verbal - emotional- physical abuse.
Physical abuse started when our relationship gets rocky.
I started tor realize he's no good for me.
He was controlling, manipulative and totally lack of self-confidence( maybe cus he has a lower education than me, and earning less, this is just speculation)
My ex refused to let me go when I want to break.
He stalked me, beat me up, and threaten to do harm to my family.
I stayed with him for 1 year out of fear.
He would send me to work, and pick me up everyday.
I have no life, I was his slave.
He refused to let me wear anything nice.
Everything I wear , he must approve.
If I wear anything a little revealing, he'd say I am trying to seduce other men.
So he threw away all my sexy clothes 6 months into the relationship.
When we go out, if I don't hold his hand and show affection, he will give me a earful insisting that I am ashamed of him.
To be honest, my friends all told me he is not compatible with me.
In terms of looks, personality and education level.
But, back then, I believed that if I love a guy, I should accept HIS EVERYTHING.
All his good AND ALL HIS BAD.
Though he was my "first love". ( not puppy love /teeny love)
I thought I'd see him improve.
I keep blaming myself for not being a good gf when he constantly complains about how lousy I am.
I go to work with bruises and scrapes on my skin.
But I lied to all my friends and co-workers that I am just a klutzy person and falls and bumps into things.
Nobody believed me, but I continued to lie out of embarrassment.
I asked him why he treats me this way.
He says because he loves me too much, and is afraid he'd lose me.
And when we fight in his car, he'd slam my head into the dash , then tells me I deserved it because I am too willful.
Neck lock, arms lock, wrist twist, you name it, I've got it.
Sometime, he'd chock me till I almost pass out before he release, he claims that if I don't fight him, he wouldn't have to use force against me.
It finally ended, when I refused to come downstairs to meet him on a weekend.
He calls me up and tells me he will set fire to my house.
That's when I woke up. And I started to fight back.
But I dared not go to the police, because he says he knows most of the officers there.
Everything ended when I finally admit to my grandparents and my brother.
They helped me leave him . Painful memories.
But, if you see him on the street, you'd never have guessed he's an abusive person.
He looks very decent and seems like a good guy to everyone.
But, like what everyone tells you, looks is very deceiving. /me pat pat.
Cheers -
How long has it been for you?Originally posted by jojobeach:Actually I already did share my stories with other ladies in other postings.
Mine is a very long story, and a very painful one.
Verbal - emotional- physical abuse.
Physical abuse started when our relationship gets rocky.
I started tor realize he's no good for me.
He was controlling, manipulative and totally lack of self-confidence( maybe cus he has a lower education than me, and earning less, this is just speculation)
My ex refused to let me go when I want to break.
He stalked me, beat me up, and threaten to do harm to my family.
I stayed with him for 1 year out of fear.
He would send me to work, and pick me up everyday.
I have no life, I was his slave.
He refused to let me wear anything nice.
Everything I wear , he must approve.
If I wear anything a little revealing, he'd say I am trying to seduce other men.
So he threw away all my sexy clothes 6 months into the relationship.
When we go out, if I don't hold his hand and show affection, he will give me a earful insisting that I am ashamed of him.
To be honest, my friends all told me he is not compatible with me.
In terms of looks, personality and education level.
But, back then, I believed that if I love a guy, I should accept HIS EVERYTHING.
All his good AND ALL HIS BAD.
Though he was my "first love". ( not puppy love /teeny love)
I thought I'd see him improve.
I keep blaming myself for not being a good gf when he constantly complains about how lousy I am.
I go to work with bruises and scrapes on my skin.
But I lied to all my friends and co-workers that I am just a klutzy person and falls and bumps into things.
Nobody believed me, but I continued to lie out of embarrassment.
It finally ended, when I refused to come downstairs to meet him on a weekend.
He calls me up and tells me he will set fire to my house.
That's when I woke up. And I started to fight back.
But I dared not go to the police, because he says he knows most of the officers there.
Everything ended when I finally admit to my grandparents and my brother.
They helped me leave him . Painful memories.
But, if you see him on the street, you'd never have guessed he's an abusive person.
He looks very decent and seems like a good guy to everyone.
But, like what everyone tells you, looks is very deceiving.
For my ex, she also had met a terrible guy when she was young.
Who knows her intention of helping or sympathise him.
Cos her to lose her freedom as well.
He will go to her house and threaten her that he will let her dad knows she bring him back.
Steal her money and items in her house.
Deny all facts.
Also tried to control her by installing fear.
Cheated her virginity by pinning her in a public toilet and ask her not to yell as there are ppl outside.
Got her pragnent as well. She took a long time to shake her off.
It was a terrible 3 years time. -
I think it lasted 2 years. Plus minus break and patch back in between.Originally posted by abterror:How long has it been for you?
For my ex, she also had met a terrible guy when she was young.
Who knows her intention of helping or sympathise him.
Cos her to lose her freedom as well.
He will go to her house and threaten her that he will let her dad knows she bring him back.
Steal her money and items in her house.
Deny all facts.
Also tried to control her by installing fear.
Cheated her virginity by pinning her in a public toilet and ask her not to yell as there are ppl outside.
Got her pragnent as well. She took a long time to shake her off.
It was a terrible 3 years time.
When you have a gf with such a past. You need to be very careful about your own action during a heated argument.
Any small act of violence will only bring fear that you may be just another abusive boyfriend all over again.
I don't deny, I will push all my new bf's limit , to see if they will react violently.
If they ever lose control, I'd RUN like there's no tomorrow.
Because I've been through hell once, I don't want to go there again. -
Having shared my story, do you think I deserved it ?
Do you still believe all that had happened was for my own good?
I tried fighting physical with physical.
I slap him, he punch me.
I push him, he slam me against the wall.
I scratch him, he pulls out my hair.
I hit him with my fist, he pins me down with his weight on my back.
Now am I too willful ? You say leh? -
True, the sad thing is she has been thru very bad relationships.Originally posted by jojobeach:I think it lasted 2 years. Plus minus break and patch back in between.
When you have a gf with such a past. You need to be very careful about your own action during a heated argument.
Any small act of violence will only bring fear that you may be just another abusive boyfriend all over again.
I don't deny, I will push all my new bf's limit , to see if they will react violently.
If they ever lose control, I'd RUN like there's no tomorrow.
Because I've been through hell once, I don't want to go there again.
Bad first relationship, agressive husband, but personally everyone have their stuff to stress.
I personally think that we should not test our sponse limit.
"Jia he wan shi qing".
It may just leave a black mark for you and perceptive you as unstable, pushy or unreasonable.
Testing one's limit at a bad timing will result in a strike back at times.
We love our sponse, we want them to live well, not to make life difficult for them. -
If you don't test them, how will you know if they are one ?Originally posted by abterror:True, the sad thing is she has been thru very bad relationships.
Bad first relationship, agressive husband, but personally everyone have their stuff to stress.
I personally think that we should not test our sponse limit.
"Jia he wan shi qing".
It may just leave a black mark for you and perceptive you as unstable, pushy or unreasonable.
Testing one's limit at a bad timing will result in a strike back at times.
We love our sponse, we want them to live well, not to make life difficult for them.
Like men who wants virgin wifes, how will they know if she is sexually compatible with him ?
After married, too late liao what. Cannot refund leh. Then how ? Find a mistress ? Silly right ? -
Originally posted by Yunhaier: /me pat pat.
Cheers
Many years ago liao.
Now I am only left with the scars and empathies to other women in similar circumstances. -
AS what my mom told me, It takes 2 to fight.Originally posted by jojobeach:Having shared my story, do you think I deserved it ?
Do you still believe all that had happened was for my own good?
I tried fighting physical with physical.
I slap him, he punch me.
I push him, he slam me against the wall.
I scratch him, he pulls out my hair.
I hit him with my fist, he pins me down with his weight on my back.
Now am I too willful ? You say leh?
If one party walk away, there wont be chances for conflict.
You can settle when u guys have cool down as what blu_ger advised.
I cant say who is right or wrong, cos there are many parts of what you have not mentioned.
I can say maybe most likely
1) Both of you are not suitable
2)Many other factors that may contribute to the tension in your relationship. eg. Many things which had not been settled which strain your present relation
3)Not willing to listen, conpromise or understand in either party.
4)Perhaps either party is not ready for a relationship. eg mental, financial etc
5)wildful for either party maybe.
I think guys and girls speak different language, but i hope that my partner will not take things personal, and would advise and sit down and talk sense to me should i did anything wrong. Perhaps one is saying and one is not listening, after a long period, without knowing that both party have reached the limit, things just falls apart without warning.
But of cos, if he threatens, then he is at fault unless he can provide a valid reason for his actions.
Well, ppl inevitably will take things for granted, but should we risk of losing what we had, then we have to fight for it in a diplomatic way. Personally, i just tried to put in extra effort to woo her back with explainations and apologies. But after a while, i will go back to my old habits, "turn off here and there". Perhaps She is not the one for me? or am i not ready yet?
But of cos, although not very motivated to put my best foot forward, she is still important to me. Well, ppl only feel the pinch when they are about to lose what they had. Sad to say. -
Then know the limits lo.Originally posted by jojobeach:If you don't test them, how will you know if they are one ?
Like men who wants virgin wifes, how will they know if she is sexually compatible with him ?
After married, too late liao what. Cannot refund leh. Then how ? Find a mistress ? Silly right ?
Dun test till back fire. Like what happened to me.
Haiz -
He ALWAYS come up with a VALID reason for his actions.Originally posted by abterror:But of cos, if he threatens, then he is at fault unless he can provide a valid reason for his actions.
When he hurt me, it was ALWAYS something I had done.
True, I wasn't the best girlfriend.
I was young, I was playful, I want to experience life.
I was pretty, I have no lack of men after me.
What do you expect ? I'm not a 50 year old woman.
But, keeping me in his cage was all that he wants.
I remember asking him " Do you only want my body ? Is that all you care about? You don't care that I no longer love you. "
His answer was " I love you, that is all you need to know."
"As long as you stay with me, that's all I need." -
Well, then, you lose control. You lose.Originally posted by abterror:Then know the limits lo.
Dun test till back fire. Like what happened to me.
Haiz