Will initimatcy with a close friend affect your relationship

• abterror

  22 Jan 08, 10:43

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?
• Jamie Zawinski

  22 Jan 08, 10:45

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  you gay faggot! get out of this forum!
• de_middle

  22 Jan 08, 10:55

  Originally posted by Jamie Zawinski:

  you gay faggot! get out of this forum!

  
• MidnightK

  22 Jan 08, 10:57

  are you always in agony?
• abterror

  22 Jan 08, 11:09

  Originally posted by MidnightK:

  are you always in agony?

  Nope, But i was thinking the reply i got from Bars might be craps.
  At least the ppl here give some constructive answers.
• abterror

  22 Jan 08, 11:16

  Nvm, lets just end this thread. Comes to think of it, it is not something tat is agony. Just a general question.
• extrinsic

  22 Jan 08, 11:16

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  depending on if any of the parties are attached.
  
  if attached, the attached party (might) feel guilty and eventually drift apart.
  if not, continue the affairs.
• abterror

  22 Jan 08, 11:18

  Originally posted by extrinsic:

  depending on if any of the parties are attached.
  
  if attached, the attached party (might) feel guilty and eventually drift apart.
  if not, continue the affairs.

  So u mean Normal friendship will not exist?
  It will no longer be a close friend. It drift either ways?
  Eventually it will just perish?
• Jamie Zawinski

  22 Jan 08, 11:22

  you should post in this thread instead
  
  http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=290040&page=44
• extrinsic

  22 Jan 08, 11:24

  Originally posted by abterror:

  So u mean Normal friendship will not exist?
  It will no longer be a close friend. It drift either ways?
  Eventually it will just perish?

  imo, dun tink normal frdship will still exist.
  either ended up as fb or either drift off.
  
  still persist as normal frds is.. quite rare ba...
  even if the event happen due to drunkness or wadsoever..
• SuperPippo

  22 Jan 08, 11:25

  The best is that you gotta talk with your close friend.
  You must hear to his or her reactions and answers.
  From there, i assume you should know whether it will be 1), 2), 3).
  To me, it's individual preference.
  I mean that's my opinions
• New Creation

  22 Jan 08, 11:51

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  There is a 4th option. Each of you suffers from temporary amnesia and forget this ever took place. Do not get together in a relationship simply becz u slept with one another. There will be loads of Guilt in the girl's heart. Option 3 is out.
• abterror

  22 Jan 08, 11:53

  Originally posted by New Creation:

  There is a 4th option. Each of you suffers from temporary amnesia and forget this ever took place. Do not get together in a relationship simply becz u slept with one another. There will be loads of Guilt in the girl's heart. Option 3 is out.

  But maybe you guys have feeling for one another, but mix between friendship and love.
• Tier

  22 Jan 08, 14:09

  If the 2 of you doesnt have any feeling for each other.
  Its may be possible to pretend nothing happen and continue to be friends.
  Depend on the character of both.
  
  If there is feeling involve there is sure to be complication, happen again and again, may end up together as couple. If it doesnt work out, friendship may be affected.
  
  This kinda thing definitely will affect the friendship. And you all will view each other in a different perspective, you cant help it.
  
• Darkness_hacker99

  23 Jan 08, 04:18

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  What does your 'end up in bed' means? Had sexual intercourse?
  
  Please clarify, if not it'll be hard for me to give advice.
• Guardx

  23 Jan 08, 08:14

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  In a modern age, sleeping with your close friends is like eating breakfast.
  No big deal. Both of you got a need and both of you fullfill the need.
  
  You should be a mature adult and you should treat it as a normal day to day stuff and get over it . Stop thinking so much and get on with life. She is not the only best friend rite?
  
  
• Tier

  23 Jan 08, 10:52

  Originally posted by Guardx:

  In a modern age, sleeping with your close friends is like eating breakfast.
  No big deal. Both of you got a need and both of you fullfill the need.
  
  You should be a mature adult and you should treat it as a normal day to day stuff and get over it . Stop thinking so much and get on with life. She is not the only best friend rite?
  
  

  oh thats shocking
  sleeping with close friends like eating breakfast.
  First time hear that!
  
  I am from different era I guess!
• Demonight

  23 Jan 08, 10:56

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  number 3 is the answer...as for the aftermath it depends...hard to remain friends after that if you're both alone in the same room
• phil30k

  23 Jan 08, 15:40

  A valid question was asked, are you talking about a male-male relationship?
  
  Male-male, you either end up as bitter enemies or one of you stays in love while the other moves on.
  
  Male-female, either the guy falls in love and the girl moves on or the girl gets demanding and the boy feels trapped and runs.
  
  Female-female, one will decide to try men and the other will end up waiting.
  
  Edited: I think this advice may be too late for you. But if you are close friends, do something to signal a change of your intentions. Start buying flowers, refer to her as your girlfriend. Give her some time to adjust her mindset to being your girlfriend. Then she'll either stop you or let you continue in your courtship. Otherwise she'll feel like she was molested by her brother.
• rainee

  24 Jan 08, 06:25

  It happened to me before It didn't go further other than hugging and kissing, but still it totally destroyed my trust in him especially when I considered him to be one of my closest guy friends...
  
  After that incident, I chose to drift apart from him because everytime we are together I will just be reminded of whatever that has happened. He has tried to contact me a few times after that but I always feel that it is too awkward to continue as friends anymore.
  
  Even when he contacted me recently, which was a few years after that incident, I still found it hard to go back to being friends
• ShrodingersCat

  24 Jan 08, 07:35

  Originally posted by rainee:

  It happened to me before It didn't go further other than hugging and kissing, but still it totally destroyed my trust in him especially when I considered him to be one of my closest guy friends...
  (

  why? I Mean did he force himself on u or what?
  
  
• ShrodingersCat

  24 Jan 08, 07:37

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  Depends.
  
  Depends on whether it was
  
  1) done on a spurt of mutual horniness
  2) planned and agreed upon that its just a fling
  3) planned by one party to take advantage of the other
  
  and how much the level of attraction that each party have for the other before it happened.
  
  
• Isis

  24 Jan 08, 10:20

  Originally posted by abterror:

  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart.
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again
  3) Eventually get together as a couple.
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends?
  Or you have just lose a close friend due to your impertinent actions.
  Anyone had experience or seen it happen?

  I have seen option 3 happening and i have heard of option 1.
  Option 1 happens because of option 2.
  
  It depends on the situation and the level of acceptance after the incident. Generally, both parties might feel awkward. Either the discover the underlying feelings for each other and end up as couple or they treat one night stand as nothing but pleasure.
  
  There is another option: 4 )There is baby born out of wedlock.
  
  
• choco B

  24 Jan 08, 10:28

  All can happen. Difference is WHY does it happen.
  
  I was thinking if assuming you end up in bed with a very close friend.
  What will happen?
  1) You guys will avoid one another hence drift apart. << result of bad sex
  2) The relaitonship will no longer be purely friendship, If it happen once it will happen again << result of bad sex
  3) Eventually get together as a couple. << result of good sex
  
  Is it possible to remain purely as friends? << result of bad sex