Think i am socially inept
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I always have a problem talking in a group. In a group, I would always have sort of brain block and be very quiet. Then when ppl said why i am so quiet and try to start me talking, I always feel very awkward and start to talk gibberish and the more I am uncomfortable with myself. I am very worried abt it especially when I am goin to graduate and start working very soon. In addition, I am a very slow person a lot of the time cannot register the information presented to me and I started to feel nervous. Then I look very unconfident and helpless.Then how am I going to cope with the working world. Pls help me.
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I am the same as you but I am in the working world. I am 20 this year & just 3 days ago, the situation was just like yours & of course, I do felt really upset & helpless too. I was dining on the same table with my HR manager, how fcuk-up can that get??
It's been a problem since young
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i really dont think there's any other way but to hang around more with strangers. then you'll become more familiar with these situations and handle them better in the future.
in short, imho, get used to it. sooner or later you'll be alright, but you have to pass the awkward stage. -
From what you said, I presume you are an introvert.Originally posted by calming_hap:I always have a problem talking in a group. In a group, I would always have sort of brain block and be very quiet. Then when ppl said why i am so quiet and try to start me talking, I always feel very awkward and start to talk gibberish and the more I am uncomfortable with myself. I am very worried abt it especially when I am goin to graduate and start working very soon. In addition, I am a very slow person a lot of the time cannot register the information presented to me and I started to feel nervous. Then I look very unconfident and helpless.Then how am I going to cope with the working world. Pls help me.
I sense a lack of self-confidence too.
What's holding you back from chatting comfortably? Is it a fear of being judged by what you say? -
Ya I do have this problem too as I am a bit shy and my spoken English isnt fluent. Same as you, I am going to graduate soon and I am worried my spoken English proficiency will be a hinder in job interviews and working life.Originally posted by calming_hap:I always have a problem talking in a group. In a group, I would always have sort of brain block and be very quiet. Then when ppl said why i am so quiet and try to start me talking, I always feel very awkward and start to talk gibberish and the more I am uncomfortable with myself. I am very worried abt it especially when I am goin to graduate and start working very soon. In addition, I am a very slow person a lot of the time cannot register the information presented to me and I started to feel nervous. Then I look very unconfident and helpless.Then how am I going to cope with the working world. Pls help me. -
Try part time sales job starting with one to one talking then follow by sales promoter to talking to a group of people. It may help solving yr handicapped.Originally posted by calming_hap:I always have a problem talking in a group. In a group, I would always have sort of brain block and be very quiet. Then when ppl said why i am so quiet and try to start me talking, I always feel very awkward and start to talk gibberish and the more I am uncomfortable with myself. I am very worried abt it especially when I am goin to graduate and start working very soon. In addition, I am a very slow person a lot of the time cannot register the information presented to me and I started to feel nervous. Then I look very unconfident and helpless.Then how am I going to cope with the working world. Pls help me. -
build up more confidence lor. unless it's becauz you can't think of what to say when in a grp. i've the same prob as your's lah.
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Few years back also have same encounter as u
Speak to boss always feel very uncomfortable & trying to escape
But now had overcome fear & speak with more confidence *don't bother abt the surrounding*
In my JC1 got a guy classmate even worst, when ppl talk to him his body will start shivering to the extend that he nvr dare to come to school
Teacher went to his house to check & his mum said he got phobia of meeting ppl *his younger sis also same condition*
So u r still considered OK *not that bad*
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heng i don't have these type of problems, because i read up on alot of stuffs and basically know things such that I am able to relate it to their topic. even if it means talking cock.
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Dude, this doesn't work...I'm an introvert too and tried doing sales to become more sociable, but quit on the 2nd day...Originally posted by CannyOng:Try part time sales job starting with one to one talking then follow by sales promoter to talking to a group of people. It may help solving yr handicapped.
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Hmm improving your social skills can't be done overnight, or maybe even weeks. Simply trying to be sociable isn't good enough.
I used to be a very self-absorbed person, and was even aware of it. But it took someone to tell me that to wake me up and suggest that I empathise with others. Once I started opening my mind up and allowing myself to see things from others' perspectives I found myself being able to connect with them better, which in turn made me happy to step out of my skin once in a while.
Of course, just remember that as an introvert, socialising is naturally taxing on you so don't be too hard on yourself at first. You may want to try being with a smaller group too to practise. -
Hi,Originally posted by calming_hap:I always have a problem talking in a group. In a group, I would always have sort of brain block and be very quiet. Then when ppl said why i am so quiet and try to start me talking, I always feel very awkward and start to talk gibberish and the more I am uncomfortable with myself. I am very worried abt it especially when I am goin to graduate and start working very soon. In addition, I am a very slow person a lot of the time cannot register the information presented to me and I started to feel nervous. Then I look very unconfident and helpless.Then how am I going to cope with the working world. Pls help me.
As people mature, people will change. I heard of people joining public speaking to get rid their fear of making public speeches and it also helps them to overcome their fear. In addition, it will also definitely require you to read up so that you have things to speak on during a public speaking session. Try toastmaster.. -
hi thanks everyone for replying to my thread. Think i also do have a small problem in the sense that i do not have the common interest in other guy like soccer, games and etc. Therefore there is less topic to talk abt. But at the same time i do not want to force myself to engage in these area just to create a conversation.
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Originally posted by calming_hap:
hi thanks everyone for replying to my thread. Think i also do have a small problem in the sense that i do not have the common interest in other guy like soccer, games and etc. Therefore there is less topic to talk abt. But at the same time i do not want to force myself to engage in these area just to create a conversation.
Hi sweetie,By your posting here, it shown and prove that you are not introvert nor quiet type, just look at the peoples that reply and chatted with you, if u will to apply that in your real life, you are sure to get frens and perhap a beautiful gf like me too.
You ability to strike a conversation/topic here suggest that you got the guts, the openness and the willingness to accept and give. As a guy, you shouldn't be worrying so much, the world is full of hobbies, not just soccer or games, join something you like and life shall take it course.
666
for horoscope 08
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I mentioned this in some other thread.
To practice your social skills, play this game.
Set 3 things you have to find out from people but you cannot ask them directly. Like their name, their favorite food, their favorite color.
Give yourself 10 mins to find this out, if you can't then move on to the next person and play the game with them.
This works, it makes you less uncomfortable because you are not trying to make them like you, you only need to find out 3 things. Also no fear of rejection because you're only spending 10 mins each, no need for lengthy, deep conversations about life so it's less stress.
When you master this game, you can set more difficult things to find out and extend the time etc.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Hi sweetie,By your posting here, it shown and prove that you are not introvert nor quiet type, just look at the peoples that reply and chatted with you, if u will to apply that in your real life, you are sure to get frens and perhap a beautiful gf like me too.
You ability to strike a conversation/topic here suggest that you got the guts, the openness and the willingness to accept and give. As a guy, you shouldn't be worrying so much, the world is full of hobbies, not just soccer or games, join something you like and life shall take it course.
666
for horoscope 08
narcissist much