Feel frustrated & angry at work
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I am new at work..like a few weeks only, not even one month. A few days ago, there came a new girl & I thought she was fine & talkative so I thought, "nvm, I can talk to her, it's ok"
Only then, I realised during my mentor's farewell party, she tried to put me down in front of everybody. Maybe because I am an introvert? Or is she trying to gain some points with the others, I dunno. Anyways, I thought she might let me off but she is just finding some opportunity to pester me, not much opportunity for her though because she's new & she also doesn't know a lot of things.
Morever, she's speaks alright in front of me but when in front of HR or managers, she will start to blab abt almost anything..wow, what a change & she seems to be alone & coming alone from lunch even though she is slated with my other talkative colleagues too...& just now, she even tried to embarrass me just because I chosen to go to a 1pm slot during lunch with my other colleagues instead, still trying to show off in front of the manager.
Anyways, I did something quite unexpected of me just now, is I threw something at her & laugh it off as an accident. I even asked her to help me clear my rubbish. Though she seemed somewhat didn't notice I am trying to bully her or maybe she's trying to brush it off, I felt really angry after that 1 pm slot incident as I now realised she's trying to use me as her stepping stone since she's an extrovert or talk too much.
I don't whether shld I do something drastic tomorrow, because right now, I feel like smacking her hard in the face.
Please give your serious comments thank you.
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Xiaobunbun,
Smacking her hard in the face may seem like a great idea.
But when you do so, she'd become THE victim while you'd become the bad guy.
What she is doing is probably her method of getting some attention by being a smart alec and making you look like a meek sheep.
But, I assure you, nobody likes a suck up.
The next time she "bully" you again in the presence of your superior.
You need to come up with some quick witted retort to fence her off.
No need to be nasty, just a reasonable joke infused with some sarcasm will do the trick. Don't do the dirty joke, makes you look like a pervert.
Like " Geessh...(name) you're hurting my feelings.( big smile).or " Ooohh.. (name) are you bullying me AGAIN (Pout) ?".
Once she knows you are not someone to reckon with, she'd have to stop, so she don't look like a fool again.
In the working world, everyone will try to piss in your territory. You need to learn how to guard your turf.
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I guess she is trying to win everybody favour to her. She see that you are quiet and soft spoken so she can take advantage of you. Keep away from her if you feel she got no good intention.
Alot of badies around in working place, gotta be alert of who to hang out at office.
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Cats fights started!!
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
I am new at work..like a few weeks only, not even one month. A few days ago, there came a new girl & I thought she was fine & talkative so I thought, "nvm, I can talk to her, it's ok"
Only then, I realised during my mentor's farewell party, she tried to put me down in front of everybody. Maybe because I am an introvert? Or is she trying to gain some points with the others, I dunno. Anyways, I thought she might let me off but she is just finding some opportunity to pester me, not much opportunity for her though because she's new & she also doesn't know a lot of things.
Morever, she's speaks alright in front of me but when in front of HR or managers, she will start to blab abt almost anything..wow, what a change & she seems to be alone & coming alone from lunch even though she is slated with my other talkative colleagues too...& just now, she even tried to embarrass me just because I chosen to go to a 1pm slot during lunch with my other colleagues instead, still trying to show off in front of the manager.
Anyways, I did something quite unexpected of me just now, is I threw something at her & laugh it off as an accident. I even asked her to help me clear my rubbish. Though she seemed somewhat didn't notice I am trying to bully her or maybe she's trying to brush it off, I felt really angry after that 1 pm slot incident as I now realised she's trying to use me as her stepping stone since she's an extrovert or talk too much.
I don't whether shld I do something drastic tomorrow, because right now, I feel like smacking her hard in the face.
Please give your serious comments thank you.
Hi Bun Bun,
What exactly did she say that you felt that she is putting you down ?
Anyway try not to read too much into her msg and try to be less sensitive. Even if she is showing off, what harm does it really does to you, physically and mentally ? I don't see the value in getting annoyed, thus spoiling your mood for the day. Somehow i feel perhaps you probably overamplifying her flaws in your mind. Remember that no one in the world is perfect, included you, her and me. Just remember don't act childishly and don't react to her nonsense.
Since what she say is not true, then why are you angry over the false things that she has said? You must learn to judge the truth about yourself and not base on what she had said. Since it isn't true, why being affected by it ?
Cheers
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just ignore her n get on with ur wrk. at the time be wary of her.
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Throwing things and bully someone is not the right way !!! Just because she did something wrong does not mean you have to scoop down to that low level also. Also forget about slapping her - that will lead to phyiscal abuse.
The question is why do you want to do anything. Just give her the cold shoulder, ignore her, and stay away from her. Don't do silly things, which will just give her more things to say about you.
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PPl said, ppl treat u bad one time, u give them x10...
why u didnt practice it ?
Never give face to anyone who never give face to u !!!
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Be careful of talkative people....
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xiaobunbun
I can say that she can't survive long in this company, in fact other company as well if she doesn't change. When she bully you and talking nonsense if front of other colleagues and managers, she is losing credibility already. Why should management use a person that bring harm to other team members. pointless.
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Politics at work. Very common lah. Hold your own ground. Prove yourself.
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It sounds like politics at work.
People who indulge in politics are able to do so because they don't have work to do. Do not take over any of her responsibilities. Do not give her any help or advice. Do not let your boss reassign her work to you. If your boss asks you to do more work, always point at her and tell them that she seems very free while you are very busy and if they can assign the work to her.
Always use the excuse and broadcast this to everyone whenever talking about work, that you are yourself very busy and her constant interruptions (do not call them requests for help etc) is interfering with your own job performance.
Bosses tend to promote people who can delegate, make sure she doesn't "delegate" work to you, that only works in her favor.
Never lose your cool in front of her or your colleagues. If you do lose your cool, don't say it's because she gave you work to do (that's in her favor) say it's because she constantly makes errors (only if you have evidence in black and white of mistakes that you had earlier informed people about), contradicts herself (only if you have asked her questions in front of people about work that she couldn't answer), cannot handle stress or deadlines (if your refusal to take on her job and she has run to others to emotionally blackmail them into doing her work) and that she runs away and the boss has to redistribute her work so that the company doesn't suffer. Constantly praise her for non-work related traits, eg, How nice her hair looks and how much time she must have spent on it. how expensive her shoes look, how thin she is and she must have a lot of self control to deny herself food, how good she is at flirting (though you think she should be careful of flirting with the married men) etc etc.
Remember that somethings you think are failures are actually success to your boss. If she dumps work on you and your colleagues and you do it for her, she is seen as delegating. If you cover for her, she is seen as efficient. If you advise her, she can blame you if something went wrong, in such an instance never put your advice down in black and white or in front of witnesses and deny giving her the advice. Don't help her file things because it is on your way, don't finish tasks she started, don't work on any idea that came from her, don't take messages for her, don't answer queries that are directed to her. If she is scolded and cries for whatever reason, tell everyone you are sorry for her but maybe she is too fragile for the job. etc etc.
Never ever ever... I can't stress this strongly enough, never ever do her work for her. You are just giving her more time to do her politicking. That is how politicking people climb the ladder.
Report all her failures in light of how she cannot handle the "stresses" of the job. When you hear of a victory, say "I'm so glad something is finally working our for her. She was having so much trouble before, I didn't think she was going to make it. I hope this encourages her to keep trying."
I hope this will help you.
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Yes, when u smack her, u should also sing Akron, Smack that!...all on the floor..smack that!!..give me somemore...smack that!!...
I think you, yourself are politically inclined too. Dun be a stirrer ya. Keep quiet and do your work.
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Originally posted by phil30k:
It sounds like politics at work.
People who indulge in politics are able to do so because they don't have work to do. Do not take over any of her responsibilities. Do not give her any help or advice. Do not let your boss reassign her work to you. If your boss asks you to do more work, always point at her and tell them that she seems very free while you are very busy and if they can assign the work to her.
Always use the excuse and broadcast this to everyone whenever talking about work, that you are yourself very busy and her constant interruptions (do not call them requests for help etc) is interfering with your own job performance.
Bosses tend to promote people who can delegate, make sure she doesn't "delegate" work to you, that only works in her favor.
Never lose your cool in front of her or your colleagues. If you do lose your cool, don't say it's because she gave you work to do (that's in her favor) say it's because she constantly makes errors (only if you have evidence in black and white of mistakes that you had earlier informed people about), contradicts herself (only if you have asked her questions in front of people about work that she couldn't answer), cannot handle stress or deadlines (if your refusal to take on her job and she has run to others to emotionally blackmail them into doing her work) and that she runs away and the boss has to redistribute her work so that the company doesn't suffer. Constantly praise her for non-work related traits, eg, How nice her hair looks and how much time she must have spent on it. how expensive her shoes look, how thin she is and she must have a lot of self control to deny herself food, how good she is at flirting (though you think she should be careful of flirting with the married men) etc etc.
Remember that somethings you think are failures are actually success to your boss. If she dumps work on you and your colleagues and you do it for her, she is seen as delegating. If you cover for her, she is seen as efficient. If you advise her, she can blame you if something went wrong, in such an instance never put your advice down in black and white or in front of witnesses and deny giving her the advice. Don't help her file things because it is on your way, don't finish tasks she started, don't work on any idea that came from her, don't take messages for her, don't answer queries that are directed to her. If she is scolded and cries for whatever reason, tell everyone you are sorry for her but maybe she is too fragile for the job. etc etc.
Never ever ever... I can't stress this strongly enough, never ever do her work for her. You are just giving her more time to do her politicking. That is how politicking people climb the ladder.
Report all her failures in light of how she cannot handle the "stresses" of the job. When you hear of a victory, say "I'm so glad something is finally working our for her. She was having so much trouble before, I didn't think she was going to make it. I hope this encourages her to keep trying."
I hope this will help you.
wow good reply here. Make me open my eyes big big. hahahahaha
thanks
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welcome to the cruel working world. dun trust anyone lightly. gather info on that person whom u think can be trusted.
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Originally posted by phil30k:
It sounds like politics at work.
People who indulge in politics are able to do so because they don't have work to do. Do not take over any of her responsibilities. Do not give her any help or advice. Do not let your boss reassign her work to you. If your boss asks you to do more work, always point at her and tell them that she seems very free while you are very busy and if they can assign the work to her.
Always use the excuse and broadcast this to everyone whenever talking about work, that you are yourself very busy and her constant interruptions (do not call them requests for help etc) is interfering with your own job performance.
Bosses tend to promote people who can delegate, make sure she doesn't "delegate" work to you, that only works in her favor.
Never lose your cool in front of her or your colleagues. If you do lose your cool, don't say it's because she gave you work to do (that's in her favor) say it's because she constantly makes errors (only if you have evidence in black and white of mistakes that you had earlier informed people about), contradicts herself (only if you have asked her questions in front of people about work that she couldn't answer), cannot handle stress or deadlines (if your refusal to take on her job and she has run to others to emotionally blackmail them into doing her work) and that she runs away and the boss has to redistribute her work so that the company doesn't suffer. Constantly praise her for non-work related traits, eg, How nice her hair looks and how much time she must have spent on it. how expensive her shoes look, how thin she is and she must have a lot of self control to deny herself food, how good she is at flirting (though you think she should be careful of flirting with the married men) etc etc.
Remember that somethings you think are failures are actually success to your boss. If she dumps work on you and your colleagues and you do it for her, she is seen as delegating. If you cover for her, she is seen as efficient. If you advise her, she can blame you if something went wrong, in such an instance never put your advice down in black and white or in front of witnesses and deny giving her the advice. Don't help her file things because it is on your way, don't finish tasks she started, don't work on any idea that came from her, don't take messages for her, don't answer queries that are directed to her. If she is scolded and cries for whatever reason, tell everyone you are sorry for her but maybe she is too fragile for the job. etc etc.
Never ever ever... I can't stress this strongly enough, never ever do her work for her. You are just giving her more time to do her politicking. That is how politicking people climb the ladder.
Report all her failures in light of how she cannot handle the "stresses" of the job. When you hear of a victory, say "I'm so glad something is finally working our for her. She was having so much trouble before, I didn't think she was going to make it. I hope this encourages her to keep trying."
I hope this will help you.
Very good advice.Noted!
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Hi, peeps thank you..i'm no longer angry with her because she's currently under torture with her mentor. Everyone has been gossiping abt how cruel her mentor is to her. I sort of pity her..but I know her character is like that so I still better be on my guard.