I Did Something Bad?
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Well u know some or most people in my class keep asking me "how to do" this and that.
I would normally jusy help. But everytime i help, i dun get any thank you or what. But then when i never help, some of them will just say i'm selfish.
Then when i borrow them some stuff, i dun receive any thank you. But when i decide not to lend out my stuff, they will just say i'm selfish.
So today i decide not to help those whom i dun feel like helpping. And then when they attempt to ask me a few time i just asked them to refer to the teacher. Some of them also reply like "Hey how to.... nvm i noe u also won't help rite?". I was thinknig if you noe i won't help, why bother asking me...
So really, am i really that bad, i mean, sometime i'm really too tired and wanted to take a break from all those helping. Then i'll receive such comments/insults.
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i guess they take you for granted le. hmm..
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hmm..i used to kena these kinda of prob last time..haha..i think it's part of growing up bah..u can juz walk away if u dun feel like helping..u dun lose nor gain anything but to them...they lost something?...lol..but dun always do this k,or else ltr alot of enemies dun blame me hor..
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Nope.. u nvr do anything bad.. it is jus tat they take u for granted
Right now.. u jus try nt to help them in anything and stay with ur group of friend.. 1 day those ppl who took u granted will come looking for ur help again.. Then tat time they will treat u better because they noe u got nth to lose now 
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If you wanna help, help.
If you don't wan to, excercise your judgement. If you really can't, then ignore such comments.
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i am sick of getting taken for granted..
whatever they need, call me..
no need..
no news..
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Originally posted by spectralizer:
Well u know some or most people in my class keep asking me "how to do" this and that.
I would normally jusy help. But everytime i help, i dun get any thank you or what. But then when i never help, some of them will just say i'm selfish.
Then when i borrow them some stuff, i dun receive any thank you. But when i decide not to lend out my stuff, they will just say i'm selfish.
So today i decide not to help those whom i dun feel like helpping. And then when they attempt to ask me a few time i just asked them to refer to the teacher. Some of them also reply like "Hey how to.... nvm i noe u also won't help rite?". I was thinknig if you noe i won't help, why bother asking me...
So really, am i really that bad, i mean, sometime i'm really too tired and wanted to take a break from all those helping. Then i'll receive such comments/insults.
I know how you feel.
Some times we just need some pockets of air for us to breathe. After that we'll be fine.
Next time when you feel okay already, you can try going to your friend and say "Do you need help? maybe I can help you with this question."
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Don't sad
You guys are all classmates after all -
Spectralizer,
Take it as a compliment when your friend ask you for help.
If you are not smart or lousy in your work, nobody would bother coming to you.
I remember in Spiderman movie, the uncle says something like , with special abilities comes special obligations/responsibilities.
If you feel that you are being taken for granted, it is about time you speak up.
If they don't offer you a thank you, ASK for it before/after you are done.
When my colleague ask me for help , I'd always jokingly say " I'd wouldn't mind a cuppa coffee for this." Then it's up to you to decide if you want to take it or not later.
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why you need a break? What if you need help and the other also taking a break? if you really want, hang a sign around your neck saying. "Need help? Say pls and thank you..."
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This is not you being bad. But this is them lacking manners and basic courtesy. If you don't feel like lending them just don't do it, since you don't owe them anything. However, if you wanna be the greater man here, you can still lend them and think of how are they gonna take people for granted next time.
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When you help, ask not for anything in return.
Help only when you pity those poor b*st*rds or when you are in a charitable mood. It's not your obligation. They can consult the teacher, who is PAID to enlighten those hapless souls. -
Originally posted by spectralizer:
Well u know some or most people in my class keep asking me "how to do" this and that.
I would normally jusy help. But everytime i help, i dun get any thank you or what. But then when i never help, some of them will just say i'm selfish.
Then when i borrow them some stuff, i dun receive any thank you. But when i decide not to lend out my stuff, they will just say i'm selfish.
So today i decide not to help those whom i dun feel like helpping. And then when they attempt to ask me a few time i just asked them to refer to the teacher. Some of them also reply like "Hey how to.... nvm i noe u also won't help rite?". I was thinknig if you noe i won't help, why bother asking me...
So really, am i really that bad, i mean, sometime i'm really too tired and wanted to take a break from all those helping. Then i'll receive such comments/insults.
it's reverse psychology to make you help. just show them the middle finger next time.
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Originally posted by spectralizer:
Well u know some or most people in my class keep asking me "how to do" this and that.
I would normally jusy help. But everytime i help, i dun get any thank you or what. But then when i never help, some of them will just say i'm selfish.
Then when i borrow them some stuff, i dun receive any thank you. But when i decide not to lend out my stuff, they will just say i'm selfish.
So today i decide not to help those whom i dun feel like helpping. And then when they attempt to ask me a few time i just asked them to refer to the teacher. Some of them also reply like "Hey how to.... nvm i noe u also won't help rite?". I was thinknig if you noe i won't help, why bother asking me...
So really, am i really that bad, i mean, sometime i'm really too tired and wanted to take a break from all those helping. Then i'll receive such comments/insults.
Well, if you are looking to be reciprocated, try not to reject their requests, but instead, ask for help from them whenever you need, sometimes even for the slightest thing to get back at them. :twisted: (Say, go down the canteen and get some food for ya etc.) Then if they reject to do so, it would be much easier for you to say the same thing to them and reject to help them as well. By this way, you would not feel exploited whenever they ask for help from you.
Anyway, it's really plain rude for a friend to say something like "Hey how to.... nvm i noe u also won't help rite?" to you...wait, how old is he again? I would shove a middle finger right at his face if I were you.
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Well, there's 2 sides to everything. For this case, by not expressing their gratitude can means that they're too close to you and formalities will alienate the relation. It's human nature. Of course it can also means that they are just plain rude.
Actually i was in your situation last time. It's like a norm. Back when i was in Sec 1, my peers would approach my help frequently as i am like the "role-model" for the class, always achieving good result. Until i got really piss off with all that coaching stuffs, that's when i purposely failed my Tests. And true enough, people stop looking for me as time goes by... But seriously, don't do that. It's hard to get what you've lost. I mean, really really hard.
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so how has it been then?
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a simple thank you so hard to say meh....
dont help!
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ah TS ar...
Looks like you're still young .
Well, there are always ppl who dont appreciate your help. thats normal.
for me, i will filter out who doenst say anything at all. Cuz i know these ppl just take things for granted. Once i know some1 is this kind of ppl. i will find many excuse to avoid helping him or anything. who cares. blooody hell they think they God
For me, i will help if they really really need help. if theres something that they can do themself.. i wont help at all and will give excuses. Anyway,u can know for sure if some1 want to take things granted from u..
Think bout it again ,TS. Even if they say thank you, would u really think they say it from their heart ? or simply they just say it without sincere heart. just as a procedure to do after ppl help?
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Bad mistake.
Never give out something without asking for something in return. Next time someone asks you a question, ask them for a free drink at breaktime or some other favor.
It's not so important at this stage where we're talking about school work, whether they actually give you something or not but get them to recognize that it is not free. If you have time, you can still help them but remind them that there is a price.
DO NOT GET INTO THE HABIT OF GIVING THINGS OUT FOR FREE. IT IS A BAD DESTRUCTIVE HABIT THAT WILL CAUSE YOU NO END OF SUFFERING LATER IN LIFE.
Regulate when you can help, eg, say, let me finish this first so and I'll be free to help you.
Regulate how much help you give, eg, I can explain it to you but you still need to do the other 2 question on your own.
Organize your help, if 2 friends need help, don't tutor them one at a time, tutor them together.
Combine all of these and you get. eg, I can tutor you if you need help during recess, after school etc, I charge $x for a half hour if you need my help. I'm also helping so and so in this manner.
I hope this is of help.
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I had come accross too.
One conclusion
If wanna help > Help everything, be generous, dont think of bo hua or what
Dont wanna help > Say not free, any other execuses u can give
PS: I know the feeling of people act like help you but reserved alot of information on the particular thing/topic/homework you all talking about.
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yeah. maybe right from the beginning you shld ask smth in return. or mayb u can like tell yr close frens that u don't want to be taken for granted anymore, and yr frens smehow or other will convey the msg to yr other classmates/frens.
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Hey..
My opinion is people normally give such response because they want to make you feel guilty and help them.
There are people who take things for granted.
When we chose not to help them, they would say we are selfish and unfriendly (i got this kind of comment sometimes).
However, if you hold your stand, one day they would respect you and understand you.
You dont need to explain yourself that much.
Cos some people don't deserve to tell..
*cheers*