Died down flame
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The flame between me and my gf has died down. May I know how to all the long-term couples maintain that level of love after so many years?
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sia la my bf and i the longest also 4 months. tmd sad. i think it depends a lot on both of u being spontaneous. do more new stuff together, pick up a new sport together or tell more stories about each other's past if you are comfortable, let yr partner know you even deeper, you will feel more attached and the feeling won't fade that easily. quarter cents worth. paiseh. all the best!
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spend more time tog, intererts etc...
goggle is your friend.
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Originally posted by coldzero:
The flame between me and my gf has died down. May I know how to all the long-term couples maintain that level of love after so many years?
think hor to love is a commitment n a decision.
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Somehow, this reminds me of a song by Weird Al Yankovic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4L1_nGqths
Think of what you did when you're wooing her at the beginning lo. Got try giving her some surprise once in a while ma?
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Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Somehow, this reminds me of a song by Weird Al Yankovic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4L1_nGqths
Think of what you did when you're wooing her at the beginning lo. Got try giving her some surprise once in a while ma?
yeah spice up the reln though
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Have u tell yr gf abt it? U may not want to make yr gf sad. But sometimes,for things to work. It takes 2 hands to clap. Let her know abt it and give her the chance to contribute to rekindle the flame of yr r/s again.
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Originally posted by CannyOng:
Have u tell yr gf abt it? U may not want to make yr gf sad. But sometimes,for things to work. It takes 2 hands to clap. Let her know abt it and give her the chance to contribute to rekindle the flame of yr r/s again.
yeah true also
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Chemistry is a roller-coaster. The spark comes back once in a while.
But when you're in the depths, committment is the answer. You're committed to your companion, no matter how life turns out to be.
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Relationships fall into 3 stages.
First lust. Where you are sexually excited by the person.
Second romance. Where your body emits endorphins which give you that giddy "high" feeling of love.
Third attachment. Where you become habituated to the person's companionship.
Sounds like you went past lust and romance but you both don't have enough qualities in common to form an attachment.
Best move on if that is the case. You're not doing anyone any favors staying in the relationship. You may simply both not be compatible.
For future reference identify what you are looking for in a partner. Someone wealthy who can look after you? Someone who can physically look after you, ie maid, cook etc? Someone who makes you feel good because they need you and you like feeling needed? etc etc.
Those qualities will be the basis for your attachment and form the basis of your long term relationship and is a better prediction of whether your relationship lasts in the long run.
Scarily or luckily, depending on your point of view, if you have a good relationship with your mother, those are usually the good traits you identify with your mother. Which is why moms and wives compete or why some moms think the gf is not good enough or get along really well. Same with fathers.
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Originally posted by xavier1979:
Chemistry is a roller-coaster. The spark comes back once in a while.
But when you're in the depths, committment is the answer. You're committed to your companion, no matter how life turns out to be.
but hor ...... committment is hard to come by
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Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Somehow, this reminds me of a song by Weird Al Yankovic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4L1_nGqths
Think of what you did when you're wooing her at the beginning lo. Got try giving her some surprise once in a while ma?
Nice song...
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Sad to hear that. I guess maybe u 2 cant really find something in common to enjoy doing together and share topic that both of you enjoy discussing together thats why dull down so fast.
Must find someone you really enjoy talking to and enjoy being with. That can last you for a lifetime.
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A) Spend quality time together
B) Two people cannot talk at the same time
C) Need some space and time away from each other
D) Dont say "where got time?" when it is time to listen
E) Dont spend too much time in SGForums.
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It's really difficult to maintain a long term relationship. I had just initiated a break-up with my bf after 2 yrs of relationship. It's sad but true. Feelings do change after a long period of time. I guess it's time to move on...
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Its all in the heart, and also it take two hand to clap,
one side sianz liaoz also useless.
External factor, new working enviroment, new faces?
if stay near it will be great, if one stay east, one stay west, it will be all in the heart..
It easier to get into a relationship then to maintain a relationship.. hiaz ...
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think what u will b doing without her.. den think abt the times when u were single..think abt the things she did for u.. and what u want to do to make her smile.. think abt how holding her hand is not an entitlement, but a privilege.. think abt how having her attention all to u is not something u can do to any other girl..
if all the above fails, then i cant help u anymore..