i'm weeping as i'm typing this..
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today is the 4th month of me and my gf
yesterday was probaly the last straw for her.
the whole situation began like this. we had a saving plan. by the end of CNY we had to save to a certain amount. so ytd we went shopping and i told my gf that i wanted her to get something she really liked. because when you get something you like you'll be happy am i right? but it seems like she didn't really get anything she wanted. so the last shop we went to was Forever 21. initially i said i was hungry and wanted to get some bread to eat but she said dun buy save up the money. alright so i thought that just see see awhile more than we go off le. than afterwhich we started shopping in F21. the aircon seemed to have broken down so it was pretty warm inside. and you know after awhile you warm + hungry abit no mood to talk. so when we left the shop my gf ask me why i so sian. than i said you really want to know ah? than she say ya so..
i just replied saying because we kept looking at girls stuff would appreciate if we could have looked at guys stuff too in the meantime. than she was saying but today we're supposed to look at girls stuff what! than i just replied saying places like esprit we could have looked at guys stuff too since guys and girls stuff were in the same outlet itself. than she said than just now i ask u go see you ask me go see my girls stuff? than i say no la.. blah blah can't really remembered what i said but nothing really offensive. the thing is, i was hungry and hot. i wasn't in the right state of mind to really talk. so what i blabbered about wasn't really what i mean. i know its abit too late to change the fact but gah. plans for the rest of the day were ruined. i told her through sms that the real reason was tt i'm hungry + tired blah blah. so she told me she was angry with me because i was in the wrong and yet i still argued back. i'm really disappointed with myself that i made a mistake and yet i still don't know what went wrong. so in one of the sms i just said i hope that you would voice out anything you're unhappy about this way i can understand you and not act as though i understood when i didn't. because everything i ask her what's wrong she just goes, you should know blah blah. and doesn't want to tell me.
anyway later in the night she msn-ed me. saying don't i feel tired that all these are happening? saying that i repeat the mistakes again, i mean true i'm tired because everytime i make a mistake i don't even know what happened and she doesn't want to tell me! than when i make the same mistake again she flares up. i mean yea now things are working out when she decides to tell me what's wrong. but now things as it seems like she wants to initiate a breakup with me. we're on a 'break' currently. guess this 'break' is just to let her think things through.
i really don't know what to do. i treasure the relationship and hope things work out. we have a character clash but i just hope that she can accept the way i am while me on my part try to change for the better
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how old are u?
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I think TS hould take the time to think things throught too.
Don't think TS nor his gf has the maturity to handle a steady relationship yet.......
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Ask her out.
Request her to speak truefully about her own feelings.
Give her an avenue to spill out what is in her heart. Listen carefully without interruption.
Then share with her how you are feeling...tactfully.
When the miscommunication clears, either the relationship will blossom again, or both of you will be able to confirm that you are not meant for each other.
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20 this year. sorry for the lengthy post. i'm just stating an exact account on what happened. sorry if it may sound kiddish to you.
i feel so upset with myself. its like i'm having a character clash with her and i can't do anything about it.
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lol.. how old ur GF.. he he.. sounds familiar situation. 17?
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she is of the same age as me
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o.k.. then i guess age difference for my situation. Anyways just apologise ah. after that , give it 1 to 2 days. Just go easy first.... hi n by , good morning.. good nights kinda message. Then u tell her that u miss her. N no relationship is perfect. N to make u a better man , to be able to treat her better. Tell her to give u a chance and to tell u what u did wrong. She well definately say is pointless... and that so many times.. and u must say u agree , dont pleed ignorance.. like u dont know or what like that. Just accept n submit. N say that u are slowly but steadily changing. She obviously hates excuses. N excuses on same situations makes her even more hate ur excuses.
Dont sound too pathetic , but let her know you try to be in her shoes lo. And u NEED her. Just dont keep repeating ur mistakes.. they will get tired n really give up. Just do it , after few more days.. should be o.k by then.
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Chris1988,
It's just a small misunderstanding.
Don't leave her alone for too long.
1 day is fine. Let her cool down a little.
Apologise and tell her "Sorry I spoiled your day. Next time, I will make sure I eat something first before we go shopping."
" I will be waiting for you to forgive me, do give me a call, I'll be waiting. I love you very much."
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Yeah I agree with badmaro.
It sounds like a small matter that you all argue about. after a few days cool down can talk thing through and apologize.
Some times shoppaholic friends can drive me crazy too.
I am a girl who dislike shopping, I will turn moody face.
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i second what ah badz said...
tis just a small matter...just take a few days to cool off loh
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thanks for all the advices. and especially to badzmaro for that neat advice
will heed it and update you guys again. -
why would you want to have a saving plan if you guys are not married?
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basket.
petty quarrel nia wat.
childish, break simi break.
n y bread nia oso dun let u eat.
dat one lealli is too much le.
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Be grateful you haven't wasted more time on her.
End the relationship and move on with your life.
She's looking for a rich boyfriend who has nothing else to do but pamper her and spoil her . You have neither qualities.
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posting here helps not.
to let go is loving her. can u?
imagine that is a 3 yrs relationship.
imagine that's a 3 yrs saving acct together.
imagine asking her to take all the money so that u will give up.
this is worst off, isnt it?
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and ya, cry if u want to, just dun let ppl see.
cry makes u feel better. and perheps more clearer...
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Well, you know you are in the wrong... end of discussion.
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bread also wanna save money. wth.than what,use that money buy her keychain? i seriously dont see what wrong u did eh.
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sia la. it sounds like miscommunication la. you both de r/s still not strong enough man. the "break" now also good. think if she is really the right one for you or in other words, are the right one one for her too. if you think such things are going to happen again, then might as well end it early.
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It sounds like she needs a sugar daddy.
The part about not eating bread, in order to save up for what? Clothes?
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Dude never go shopping with wimmen. Never.
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erm.... she macham very "kao ceh" leh
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apologise and then later sit down and talk about it
its a fresh new year..rather for those who are chinese (not being racist)
sit down and list otu all the bad points and each other agree not to flare up/interrupt eah other while talking....must help each other with each other faults..like reminders/ideas on how to improve ownself
childish but at least it does work if both of you want to be together
good luck
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Originally posted by soleachip:
Dude never go shopping with wimmen. Never.
Lol...good advice. But how can TS or any guy for that matter avoid going shopping with his gf or wife?