please help. if can ;(
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Few years back.
Two guys entered my life at the same time. We were all from the same secondary school and they knew each other. Lets call them X & Y.
X attended to me via sms/msn. We chatted almost everyday, talking about absolutely anything. He was the very caring type, When I fall sick, he was there, telling me to drink more water, rest well etcetc. Although we were very close, we never really talked in school. Y was somehow like X. We chatted via sms/msn everyday. He was there to cheer me up whenever I was sad and was happy whenever I was happy. The only thing that differs was that we went out a few times together. He paid for my expenses. Thus, we were often mistaken as being a couple. Rumours started to go around the school about me and Y being together when we were actually not. Slowly, X and I drifted. Occasionally, I would initiate a conversation with him on msn but we became, so stranger-like.
Frankly, I never thought of either one of them being my boyfriend one day. I thought friends would come and go. But one day, it eventually happened. One day, Y asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. And I agreed.
The next two years was probably the best phase of my life. We were very loving in the beginning. Although there were up and downs, we were back to being lovey-dovey again. During this period of time, X found himself a gf and he practically disappeared from my life. Sadly, things took a turn between my boy and I and we eventually broke up three months ago. Its was over something that was difficult to be solved, not because I didnt love him anymore or vice versa. I still think of him everyday, and I really wish he will be back by my side one day.
Then recently, X came back into my life again. He, apparently has broken up with his gf. As we chatted on msn, I am reminded of the good old times we had.
Sometimes, I feel like god has sent this guy to help me get over my ex but sometimes, I feel otherwise. I dont know what to do. I am afraid I will fall in love with him because he 'helped' me out of this tough period. I feel like not contacting him anymore, but till today, he and my ex are still the only people I trust. I wish my ex can just return to me so everything will be settled.
I really need a breather from all these confusing matters.
Constructive comments please?
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U are quite unsure of yrself. I advise u don't touch BGR first!
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stick to status quo. as time passes things sort out naturally.
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Dont choose steady at this time, is hard to make a decision and i am VERY SURE you will REGRET, no matter what you do.
Stay calm and focus on what you should do, your duty. Study...etcetc.. and not on this. Put it on hold first ba
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Dongybell,
I think you should give X a chance.
Try this relationship out.
Love doesn't always has to be like a lightning strike.
Love can blossom in the most unexpected places, with unexpected people.
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Both X and Y have liked you from the start.
But you can't have your heart in two places at once.
Until you can learn to forget Y, stay single first. Otherwise, it may be unfair to X.
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how old are u?
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Originally posted by Dongybell:
Few years back.
Two guys entered my life at the same time. We were all from the same secondary school and they knew each other. Lets call them X & Y.
X attended to me via sms/msn. We chatted almost everyday, talking about absolutely anything. He was the very caring type, When I fall sick, he was there, telling me to drink more water, rest well etcetc. Although we were very close, we never really talked in school. Y was somehow like X. We chatted via sms/msn everyday. He was there to cheer me up whenever I was sad and was happy whenever I was happy. The only thing that differs was that we went out a few times together. He paid for my expenses. Thus, we were often mistaken as being a couple. Rumours started to go around the school about me and Y being together when we were actually not. Slowly, X and I drifted. Occasionally, I would initiate a conversation with him on msn but we became, so stranger-like.
Frankly, I never thought of either one of them being my boyfriend one day. I thought friends would come and go. But one day, it eventually happened. One day, Y asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. And I agreed.
The next two years was probably the best phase of my life. We were very loving in the beginning. Although there were up and downs, we were back to being lovey-dovey again. During this period of time, X found himself a gf and he practically disappeared from my life. Sadly, things took a turn between my boy and I and we eventually broke up three months ago. Its was over something that was difficult to be solved, not because I didnt love him anymore or vice versa. I still think of him everyday, and I really wish he will be back by my side one day.
Then recently, X came back into my life again. He, apparently has broken up with his gf. As we chatted on msn, I am reminded of the good old times we had.
Sometimes, I feel like god has sent this guy to help me get over my ex but sometimes, I feel otherwise. I dont know what to do. I am afraid I will fall in love with him because he 'helped' me out of this tough period. I feel like not contacting him anymore, but till today, he and my ex are still the only people I trust. I wish my ex can just return to me so everything will be settled.
I really need a breather from all these confusing matters.
Constructive comments please?
take things slow, do not make decisions when you are so confused now though/ if u really need a breather, i would suggest going out in groups rather than be with either one of them. just make friends first. choose wisely.
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Fate has apparently arranged for your lives to cross once again. As many before me have mentioned, it might not be wise to rush into a decision, but please consider this opportunity seriously before giving it a miss.
Take care and all the best! =)
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Hm, i think you are really confused abt yr emotions. Don't progress anything into BGR, keep your options open! the world does not revolve around both of them only
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sort out ur feelings first.
if u like X so much, y did u agree to be Y's gf?
If u wish Y will return to you, then y bother whether u will fall for X?
It could be purely frenship among the 3 of u?
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Originally posted by Dongybell:
I wish my ex can just return to me so everything will be settled.
if u think this way, please don't be together with X.. because everytime u see Y, u will be feeling damn sad, thinking why cant u two go back to the past.. and u will hurt X too.. in fact, u also said for urself that you are afraid you will fall in love with him because he 'helped' u out of this tough period. u urself know deep down its not becoz u love him for hu he is, but rather he's just a substitute..
unless u can get Y out of ur mind totally, dun start with X.. in fact, dun start with anyone, it will be unfair to both u and the other guy..
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You're kinda experiencing a rebound; a pharse where you need to 'find' someone to replace the lost one as a substitution.
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You have to make a decision...
And... Never rush into a relationship...
If either one of them ask you to be their gf, you can just say you need some time to consider...
Be clear of what you really wants... What will really make you happy... What will really make you feel comfortable...Yea...
Friends come and go...
Love don't. -
You now choose either 1, you will lose another friend. Even later you make it up and have a talk.. sure lose that friend one.... Be cool and firm with your decision. Dont do anything hasty..
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you female right? dont bluff yourself come here ask which one more caring bla bla bla...
just take the richer one. -
Originally posted by sinicker:
you female right? dont bluff yourself come here ask which one more caring bla bla bla...
just take the richer one.U must be a very unlucky guy that was hurted badly by small portion of materialistic sg gal. I pity u!
Most Sg gal are still good. Don't generalise!
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Originally posted by CannyOng:
U must be a very unlucky guy that was hurted badly by small portion of materialistic sg gal. I pity u!
Most Sg gal are still good. Don't generalise!
yah correct. sometimes it's not abt the money though
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Mind u, u got only a pair of leg, u can't step on two boats with one leg on each.
It's good to be observe and care by people around u. That wat friends for,take ur time to choose a stead.
Go, get around and social more. As there are all kind of peoples out there u haven meet.
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WTF... you dun even know who you really like... and even if X come back to your life, it does not neccessary means that he wants you...
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I'm sorry to break this to you.
The reason that you scared that you might fall in love again because you are sure that he is able to occupy the empty space that your ex left. And knowing that he once made your heart melt, it might make you feel total toture.
I suggest to make the things flow by itself. At least, you have some time to recover.
Even if your ex come back, do you think that everything is settled or more dilemmas appeared?
Think about it.
*cheers*
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Dongybell,
I think you should give X a chance.
Try this relationship out.
Love doesn't always has to be like a lightning strike.
Love can blossom in the most unexpected places, with unexpected people.
I agreed with jojo that love can blossom in the most unexpected places, with the unexpected people. Perhaps you do have feeling for X. However, don't misplace X for replacement for Y. It will leads to more mistakes. Think about it with your heart and head first. The two men are not necessarily the only men you can rely on for life. You will definitely meet more people in the later part of your life. Just remember to open up your heart. -
Originally posted by Dongybell:
Few years back.
Two guys entered my life at the same time. We were all from the same secondary school and they knew each other. Lets call them X & Y.
X attended to me via sms/msn. We chatted almost everyday, talking about absolutely anything. He was the very caring type, When I fall sick, he was there, telling me to drink more water, rest well etcetc. Although we were very close, we never really talked in school. Y was somehow like X. We chatted via sms/msn everyday. He was there to cheer me up whenever I was sad and was happy whenever I was happy. The only thing that differs was that we went out a few times together. He paid for my expenses. Thus, we were often mistaken as being a couple. Rumours started to go around the school about me and Y being together when we were actually not. Slowly, X and I drifted. Occasionally, I would initiate a conversation with him on msn but we became, so stranger-like.
Frankly, I never thought of either one of them being my boyfriend one day. I thought friends would come and go. But one day, it eventually happened. One day, Y asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. And I agreed.
The next two years was probably the best phase of my life. We were very loving in the beginning. Although there were up and downs, we were back to being lovey-dovey again. During this period of time, X found himself a gf and he practically disappeared from my life. Sadly, things took a turn between my boy and I and we eventually broke up three months ago. Its was over something that was difficult to be solved, not because I didnt love him anymore or vice versa. I still think of him everyday, and I really wish he will be back by my side one day.
Then recently, X came back into my life again. He, apparently has broken up with his gf. As we chatted on msn, I am reminded of the good old times we had.
Sometimes, I feel like god has sent this guy to help me get over my ex but sometimes, I feel otherwise. I dont know what to do. I am afraid I will fall in love with him because he 'helped' me out of this tough period. I feel like not contacting him anymore, but till today, he and my ex are still the only people I trust. I wish my ex can just return to me so everything will be settled.
I really need a breather from all these confusing matters.
Constructive comments please?
The reason why X didn't make it to be your bf is probably he's shy or just quiet when it comes to such matters..
X could be your buddy (soul mate/confidant - somebody that you meet to share and talk about problems, secrets etc)
You shld however make it clear with X abt the relationship and clarify with him on that issue.
Ask him if you could go to him when you need someone to lean on.
Do take note that while he helped you out of tough times, don't convert the gratitude and simply pass it off as feelings which you might still have with Y. Since you still miss Y
You can't mix up X and Y.
If you must, then talk to X openly. Avoiding only make matters worse.
My elder brother has a bossom buddy (of the opposite gender) and they worked out quite well, as long as you let your other half knows,at the very begining of the relationship (in future).
While I might not have such a confidant yet; still searching, at least i have a fren whom i meet out late at night..when we're both bored and to meet up just to chat and kill boredom.. (again of the opposite gender).
If you find someone whom you trust, than talk to that person.
It's hard to come across somebody who cares for you with no ill intentions. (specifically since you're a girl and is at disadvantage if you know what i mean..)
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Thanks for your advices.
One more question..Will a relationship of more than 2 years be forgotten in 3 months? I really miss my ex. Sigh.
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Originally posted by Dongybell:
Thanks for your advices.
One more question..Will a relationship of more than 2 years be forgotten in 3 months? I really miss my ex. Sigh.
it depends on individual though