The Crush, The Career Kill & The Messy Living
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The title is what you think yet not what you think. Confuse? Let me explain.
Just after the HR lady told me to wait in the room for the manager, I was pretty nervous & half hoping to myself that he would be too busy enough to meet me. Oh god, why not just the HR alone & they just accept me into the company. Why must the manager be so free enough to attend the interview??? Also, I was trembling slightly due to the high air-conditioned room & was waiting apprehensively for him to enter.
So I heard footsteps & saw a pair of legs walking towards the room & there he opened the door, my first speed fast impression of him was "ohh chey" but was quickly turn to "erms, not bad?" after he walked right up to the seat & sat opposite in front of me. He was looking at my resume & he started explaining to me what the company was doing & he asked me very vague questions which I was really relieve & could answer them easily without stressing too much of my brain power. But while he was busying himself looking down, I couldn't help but notice his very sleek eyes. I was slightly captivated by the symmetrical structure of his pair of eyes. It was only a micro-second moment so I didn't stare at him with puppy-eyes, no, of course not, I remain compose throughout the whole interview with no sign that I was actually thinking about something else in my heart (mixture of inconfidence, awe & hope) In the midst of it, I also discovered that he had a very cute accent. I shall call him MY for better reference.
After the first round ended, the second round came & I was called down to be interviewed by two managers. MY & another. During this time, I actually felt I got a crush coming up especially when MY spoke japanese & I thought to myself that he was really cute speaking it. With his sharp eyes & japanese language, I almost mistaken him for a japanese.
I finally got in to the company & was lunching alone for like a few days but I don't mind as I did that too during my previous co.. You could say I was pretty much accustomed to it. Much to my surprise & excitement, one fine day, MY came up to me & invited me to lunch with him & the other manager. He was smiling & I thought, 'wow'.
During lunch session with them, I couldn't bring myself to order as I was too nervous around the presence of MY. I asked him where he came from & what is his maritial status, he told me he was married, oh well, not a surprise as I always expect most ppl in a company to be either attached in one way or another. Anyways he came from our neighbourhood country as you can see from the nick I gave him.
Actually, true to be told, I couldn't feel any sparks or whatever between us. Perhaps I was too much of an introvert but then, he seems to be an introverted kind too albeit with an outer extrovert persona.
Slowly, the next day, I asked one of my colleague out to lunch with her, a very odd move from me. I could see MY was smiling from ear to ear & looking at me each time I walk up & down following my colleague. I guess he was overwhelmed by my move & he even asked another dept. colleague to help buy lunch for him. To 'celebrate'? Do continue to read & find out why I emphasize 'celebrate'.
As time passes, I got to know another colleague & also discovered *some* bad habits of MY & another manager. She was bad-mouthing MY & said that he used to have lunch with them but stop doing so as when I came in, I was silently caught up with some internal conflicts that was going around. The conflict happened a few weeks before I came into this company. Then I thought back & realised that MY asking another dept. person to help buy lunch for him was pretty strange, cause a few days later, he seemed all by himself or with another manager in their own world, not caring about us anymore.
At first, he was all smiley to me, even telling me I was 'bleeding' somewhere when I wasn't that visible from his sight, trying to suppress me even, saying that I could slowly learn for more than half a year & take my time. But hey, The girl I was taking over is leaving soon, less than a week & he told me that, it was fishy & reeks of question marks in my head even up till today. Morever, her job involve some very important cilent & needs to answer them as soon as possible.
Luckily, I was determined to pick up fast but as time passes, MY started to show his true colours & I was pretty disappointed with him. He was lacklustre in his job & we needed their support most of the time.
I still have that crush on him but it's dying soon & sadly, this job isn't going anywhere for me as I realised that they doesn't take note of our performance. Why must I be so hardworking..stupid me, thought it would show MY & gain his admiration.
Should I continue to chase back the feelings or let it die down? I had never been in a relationship before & secretly yearn for that lovey dovey feeling. I got guys chasing me from kindergarten till I left secondary school but it doesn't work out in the end. After this, I started working & there was no..well..suitable guys for me to latch on. This new job is my second one after I quitted my first. I don't think I am a looker but I don't think I am ugly either.
Sad..I am feeling so lonely during valentine's day tomorrow, one colleague commented I had already found a boyfriend? because I was so dressy today. (Is it, I can be dressy too or maybe my dressing was too promiscuous for her eyes. Anyways, she's new to the job like me) God,It's like indirectly saying that I was previously unwanted? *sigh*
Serious comments please, feeling sore & don't remind me of valentine day. again.
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so this guy is married and he's quite a loser and underachiever in the company
so why u like him again? cos he cute ha?
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Harros. Wake up.
Why do u need a guy to "latch on" ?
SO you want to settle for a louse liddat just because he pays u a teeny bit of attention ?
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Originally posted by Ferret:
Harros. Wake up.
Why do u need a guy to "latch on" ?
SO you want to settle for a louse liddat just because he pays u a teeny bit of attention ?
i think possibly boredom also. sometimes life gets boring, u find 'problems' for urself. -
wats the worry abt men... dun tink hes the perfect one for u either.. relac for now n go on a gals nite out wif ur jie meis...
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Think it was just an infatuation. It takes time to really know a person. Be glad that you didn't take any step further that may bring regret.
Perhaps you can join a social network and get to meet new people. God knows who you will meet there.
Be patient. Love comes knocking when you least expect it. Anyway, tomorrow is Friendship Day also. How about rounding up a few good friends and go paint the town red?
Alternatively, you can stay home and surf sgForums with the rest of us who don't have any plans.
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office bgr?
dun sh|t where u eat.
somemore, he's already married, so u better not think too much.
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you stand in a circle, you always look outside, can look inside your circle?
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Jam on a bread,
Why not you organize a singles outing ?
I'm pretty sure there's plenty of readers here who needs some company during that dreaded V day.
Have fun girl.